Dreams towards the Furture by Akamaru Inuzuka Thomas

I was a mild layback teen. It was hard for me entering Highschool but more then that I was bi. I didnt notice untill half way my highschool years before that I was confused. Going on I was kind of milddle ness for hight in ran in my family. I grew up Christian & Cholic so homosexulity is hard with my family I didnt want them to know, however as I got older it was noticeableDuring my time in highschool I was builled not because i was bi, but cause of my weight. Im overweight for my age, back then I was 130 pounds I have tried to get below that. At the moment Iam inbetween 150 to 180 pounds For 28yrs I dont know if that is right weight. I also have junkfood habbits as well that I have cut back on. Example: Pop. I would have 15 cans a day, now im like 4 or 5 a day.

Going on Ive always been border line diebiec, Thats another factor about my weight. I play sports I was active but not more then I should be.

I would never fight back. however I had my boiling point a few times One time This girl I knew like anime and I was talking with her about it One of her friends hated me and we had a verbual fight. going on we swore at each other called each other names. it got to the point were every day We would do so.

Kind of funny me and her are friends now.

As my highschool years went on I got different views from people on how to react on buillng and other topics One time I went to a group to understand my sexuilty going on I met people there who told me a lot and helped me cope doing so it open me to my sexuilty more and how some things Changed for me

All through out highschool i went to these groups, it made me forget about the builling and helpme more with my self and how self aware i had became thanks to said group I made a few friends from there and we still talk to this day

Other times I would cry my self to sleep cause of the builling however when things got tough I would try and sort them out, Im sort of stubborn

Sad Story for next bit – Another time I was builled to the point I wanted to kill my self. However that didnt happen. The former Princeable helped me, she talked with me and asked me why I wanted to I then told her. The student got Eight months suspension for it. About 5 years later She comitted Sucide. It was a shock for me cause she helped me out of it. To this day I wonder what made her do it. She left two kids behind who were also going into highschool and finshing up highschool I wish some one could done something for her.

That reminded me life is a rollercoster with ups and downs

During my highschool years I got builled mostly every odd day or the odd month, going to the point where I would spend my lunch in the library reading, or on the schools computer using facebook, Live journal, or looking at porn. At my second highschool they didnt block most sites and we would get away with it, One day I did get caught but The teacher just gave me a warning, from there the sites got blocked however some didnt. She was leint on me

Funny thing, I went back to vist after I graduated and She asked me how my sex life was. I laughed and told her I was horny teen back then and she just smiled and we had a good talk as adults

I have been builled all my life I have had my ups and downs, Changes and Fist fights that have gotton me a few black eyes, My point of this is to those who are builled stand up take charge even if it hurts you

People have there breaking points and Highschool is where you want to make friends fit in and be normal. How ever it isnt always black and white

Crazy events have happen since then. The people who builled me. Some of them had the balls to say Sorry and talk with me, a few of them grew up to the point where they were on there own issue, I forgive easy. Some even became my friends.

I have reminded myself even with tough times, it is better to talk to people who are your friends and know your personality

I have my own way of dealing these days be friendly to every one even people who are jerks to you. My own buillying made me figure things out try to live and learn. Going on my over friendsness is now part of my own personality cause of what i went through as a kid and as a teen.

Being builled isnt a dream its a fact. It is hard when you get teased, called names, or builled cause of weight. People think its right and in this day and age we have taken stepts to make sure it happens less. doing so it helps the person more out of the shell to talk to others about this topic People think its cool or right, Ya its all fun & games until said person is in tears or worse hurt to to the point where they dont want to come to school.

That has happen many times with me, I decided to write this cause this topic has always been hard for me to deal with indoing so I believe it can help others understand and help ones who need to calm down before they do something they regert like I did many years ago when I was in highschool. It can be fun, it can be ulgy, or be your safe place to be.

I think more people should understand there actons and what impact it has Not many make it through highschool like I did and thats saying something, Today I find my self looking at all the times where Ive have gotton in life thanks to people looking out for me, stickng up for me or gave me a hand by helping. Friendships are important in life, people will find there best ones when they at least expect it

To those people I thank you.

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