“Yes, but it all struck me like a lightning bolt when, after I had finished my studies, my father wrote to ask when I would return to Feltham to marry you, as you had just turned 18 and our two families agreed that it was time. I felt that I could not love you as I ought and, being a selfish sort of man who avoided conflict, decided to attach myself as a secretary of sorts to the father of one of my friends who is a diplomat.”
Robert now turned to look at Peter, and Juliet suddenly realized that Peter was not comfortable. He sat beside her, holding himself very rigidly and staring straight at Robert with an expression of foreboding.
“We found ourselves enmeshed with the war effort in Portugal, and it was there that I met Peter.” He smiled gently at Peter, as if to reassure him. After a moment, he turned his stare to the far wall again before continuing on with his story, and Juliet felt Peter relax incrementally, although she also felt some trepidation at the familiarity with which Robert spoke of Peter.
“It was on the continent that I discovered something new about myself. It was the fault of a French madame, very feisty, very beautiful. She had hair just like yours, Juliet, straight and golden. I had a very narrow view of women back then, you see. I thought they were all quiet, demure prudes. I had little interaction with the fairer sex as a boy, and even less at Oxford. Madame Faucher was femininity itself, but of a powerful, sexual sort. I would wager she could seduce any man or woman. She certainly seduced me.” A smug, satisfied smile came over Robert’s face and he sighed happily.
“Yes, we had a lovely time together, and I found that it was not just the Madame that I now found attractive. Any number of women and men have now crossed my path, and I have found them all delightful. I must confess, however,” and here he directed his open, impish gaze to Juliet, “that I still do very much prefer blondes.”
Juliet turned a bright red. But then Robert turned his eyes towards Peter’s fair hair and she saw a splash of color across her lover’s cheeks, as well as a tick in that chiseled jaw. Before she could say anything, however, Robert continued on.
“When I received the news of Violet’s wedding, it finally struck me that I had been acting a coward. My behavior for so long has been unpardonable. I decided to come back to Feltham and tell you the truth so that you could make the decision of whether or not we would still suit, knowing my open preferences. I found your parents alone at Segrave Manor, and decided to travel on here.
“You can imagine my immense pleasure and surprise, Juliet, to find you not the reserved, silent miss that I left in Feltham so long ago, but a vibrant, wanton woman with desires not unlike my own. You see, I, too, fell in love with Peter some years ago,” he said, a soft, fond smile playing across his features.
Juliet was floored by this revelation, but she could do no more than stare at Robert as he blithely continued on.
“I was very young then, and, not knowing my own mind, wanted to see for myself what else was out in the world for me. How many adventures I have had!” He sighed reminiscently. “But I have now become a little–tired, shall we say? My father has been writing increasingly frequent letters and I am more and more inclined to agree with him that it is time to settle down. If you will still have me, Juliet, might I throw my hat in the ring with Peter’s? I would very much like to fight for your hand.” He gave her a charming, disengaging smile, as if he had not just thrown a metaphorical bomb.
As she and Peter stared open-mouthed at this new interloper, there was a knock on the door and Alice entered the sitting room. “Mr. Clifford, sir? Your room ‘as been prepared, and I’m to show you to it.” She curtseyed, a move which always displayed her ample bosom to great effect.
Robert stood up, eyeing Alice, her blonde ringlets escaping from her cap, her bright, eager face so open and eager to please. “You will excuse me, Lady Juliet, Mr. Galway?” he said, never taking his eyes off Alice, who blushed under his scrutiny. “I believe I must follow this lovely, young servant to my room.” The two departed and Juliet could hear Alice’s signature giggle from the hallway.
“My God,” she whispered, stunned at all of the revelations of the past half-hour. “Peter,” she said, turning to him. “He’s staying here! At Blackburn Cottage!”
“Yes,” Peter said drily. “I gathered that.”
Juliet stood, unable to sit any longer. She began to pace. “And everything he said–” She whirled to face him, still sitting on the couch, his hands lightly clasped between his legs, staring at the carpet. “Peter, you knew Robert? Did you–?” She knelt down before him and took his hands in hers, forcing him to look her in the eyes.
“Jules,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t know how much you know of these things…”
“Tell me, Peter,” she said quietly, her expression earnest and true. “Nothing you say will change the fact that I love you. I want to know.”
He sighed, some of the tension leaving his shoulders at her words, but it took several minutes before he began his story. There had never been any uncertainty in his own youth about his inclinations and desires, such as Robert had experienced. But in the army, in such close quarters with his friends and fellow soldiers, it was impossible not to forge deep bonds with them. His heretofore straightforward existence slowly became more and more complicated.
“Kit was the first,” Peter explained with a rueful smile. “He always had such a carefree attitude about such things. It didn’t matter if you were male or female; attraction to him was a simple thing and was not bound by sex. I find myself now with a very similar attitude.” He shrugged with a sheepish smile.
Juliet was not as surprised as she ought to have been to hear this. This fit exactly into the idea she had of Kit, and there were those times when Peter slipped up and called the Captain by his first name. The camaraderie between them was very palpable, and she had often wondered how close they had been on the peninsula. Their fellow soldier, Tom Swinton, also seemed to have a role in their friendship, and this thought gave her a slight pause, but she put it away for later.
“And Robert? Did you love him, too?” Juliet asked, her heart racing. She wasn’t sure what answer she wanted to hear.
“Ah, Robert,” Peter said, and a rueful smile played on his lips. “He reminded me of Kit in some ways, but in others, he still had some of the very lonely, insecure boy inside of him. He was cheeky and winsome, and perhaps he loved me, but he also fell in love on a monthly basis back then. I had no notion he felt so strongly about me at that time, but he is the kind of person to hide his feelings.” He paused and frowned. “Do you think he’s truly here to fulfill the bonds of your betrothal, Jules?”
Juliet shook her head. “I don’t know. Oh, Peter!” She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck. He gathered her in his arms and kissed the top of her head.
“I love you, Jules,” he whispered huskily in her ear. “Have I shocked you? Do you still want me too?”
She nodded and settled against him, cradled in his arms like a child. “Of course I still want you, Peter,” she said, lifting her face so they could share a sweet kiss. They sat there in contemplation, each silently considering what had just transpired. She reached out to fiddle with one of his waistcoat buttons and she asked, unable to look him in the eyes, “What was it like, Peter? With Robert, I mean. What did you do?”
He stared down at her, but she continued to concentrate on his button. A faint blush stole over her cheeks. “You want to know what I did with Robert?” he asked, slightly disbelieving.
She nodded and finally met his eyes. He saw in the hazel depths that familiar expression of lust and desire, and the knot inside his chest suddenly loosened. She smiled coyly and then bit her lip, her lashes coming down to fan her cheeks. Peter grinned. “Well, my sweet, let me tell you…”
********
Dinner that night was a surprisingly merry affair. After sensing Violet’s dislike of him, Robert set out to charm the entire company and was very successful. After all, he was handsome and personable and had not spent years abroad attending diplomatic dinners without learning a thing or two about making himself ageeable to strangers. He had many humorous anecdotes of his time abroad, and by the time the sisters left the men to their port, everyone was in a cheerful and benevolent mood. This was in no small part to the copious amounts of wine that was served at dinner.
“What a charming man!” Violet exclaimed when they were alone in the parlour, her cheeks flushed from drink. “I certainly don’t remember him being so funny or likable, do you?”
Juliet shook her head. “No, I remember him as painfully shy. Very quiet. I think that’s why our fathers thought we would suit.”
Violet snorted. “You might be quiet, but that doesn’t mean you’re shy. In fact…” She leaned toward Juliet across the low table with the tea things set out. “Jules, I know about you and Peter. You have been very naughty, haven’t you?”
Juliet turned red. “Violet! I–”
“There’s no use denying it, Jules,” Violet said with an airy wave of her hand. “I saw you last night in the sitting room. I’m so glad you have found a man to share these… experiences with. I declare it relieves me greatly, for I had been very worried that Kit and I would make you uncomfortable here at Blackburn. We are not shy or quiet, you know.” She gave a self-deprecating smile.
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