The comparative silence really startled me, and the sudden shock must’ve allowed my conscience to finally be heard by my brain. The feelings of shame that hit me in that moment made the previous few nights seem like nothing in comparison. I took my hand off my cock and reached down on the floor for my shorts. As I was pulling them on Kelly’s face washed with emotion, but unlike me she seemed way more mad than shameful.
“What the fuck Paddy?” she demanded, still sitting on the couch, still holding the toy to her pussy.
“This is fucked Kelly! What are we doing?”
“We’re feeling good in a world that seems to be custom designed to make us feel bad. Is there really anything wrong with that?’
“That’s not a good enough answer. There’s a reason why this feels so wrong, because it is.”
“Fuck that! We’re grown ass adults who want to feel good. The world has conditioned us to believe that there are right and wrong ways to feel good, but that’s bullshit. No one is getting hurt here. We’re not even touching each other. We’re just releasing some stress by masturbating.”
I stood there in just my shorts with my cock slowly softening, listening to everything my naked sister was saying, and as much as it killed me to admit it, I knew she was right. So what if we watched porn together? So what if we got a little kick out of watching each other while we did so? 90% of my brain wanted to push my shorts back down and start stroking my cock again, but I was still hung up on how wrong it all felt.
“I know what you’re saying is true Kel. I don’t have a good argument other than it just feels wrong and it makes me feel bad about myself.” I said while holding my hands over my face. Kelly finally turned her wand off in order to try and make her case without distraction.
“I understand Pat. I really do. More than you probably know. I’ve dealt with shame and self-hate over what gets me off pretty much from the start of my sex life. You probably don’t know this but I basically had to beg Mom and Dad to not go to the police because they were sure that Sean had assaulted me.” she said softly, referring to her first boyfriend.
“What? Sean? Really?” I asked, thinking about the quiet nerd she dated at the end of high school.
“Yeah. He was my first and when we went to the beach for senior week we finally fucked for the first time. Toward the end of the trip, he was on top, fucking me and he rested his hand on my throat and I instantly reacted to it. I went wild! I wanted more, but I didn’t want to say it out loud so I grabbed him by the wrist and pulled his hand back to my throat. He kept trying to pull it away but I finally got him to keep it there till we both came.” She said with a kind of wistful smirk on her face, seemingly enjoying the memory.
“How in the hell did Mom and Dad find out about that?”
“Oh, they didn’t. But after that first time I kept trying to urge him to do it more. I never asked for it with words, but when we were in the middle of fucking, I’d grab his hand and pull it to my throat. I could tell he was resistant – and knowing what I know now I should have had a conversation with him about it – but I was 18 and stupid.”
“I get that. I did a lot of cringy shit at that age too.” I said as I took my seat back on the couch.
“Then, about a week before I left for college, we were at his folk’s house all alone. When I pulled his hand to my throat again, I guess he’d had enough. He jumped off me and asked me what was wrong with me. I told him that I didn’t know why, I just liked it and I wanted him to be more forceful with me. I guess I goaded him a bit, and I remember for sure that I said “don’t be a pussy” which was a low blow because his dad and brother used to tease him by calling him that.”
“And I bet that worked.” I interjected, knowing the type of effect being called that can have on an 18-year-old guy who is trying to figure out what it means to be a man.
“A bit too well.” Kelly replied, emphasizing with a bit of a shudder. “He paced around for a bit and I decided to force the issue again. I got off the bed and stood right in front of him with my head back saying ‘do it’ over and over again. He finally grabbed my throat, forced me on the bed and pounded the shit out of me. I loved it, but when we were done, he cried and asked why I made him do it which made me feel awful. Then he freaked out when he saw how red my neck was and he started to worry that he was going to get in trouble, or that he was a bad guy.”
“And Mom and Dad saw your neck, I’m guessing?”
“Yeah. It’s pretty hard to cover your neck in the middle of August. I tied wearing hoodies and hiding out in my room but Mom saw and demanded to know what happened. From there it was a total nightmare. She was sure someone had raped me or something. I kept telling her she was wrong, but she just didn’t understand what happened. I don’t think she was capable. Hell, I wasn’t. I wanted rough sex but the guy I was with wasn’t really into it and I goaded him into it and it got out of hand. It was dumb and irresponsible and it fucked me up for years after that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I had a clear idea of what I wanted but I kept subverting it because society said it was wrong. It took me years of thinking it through to understand that there is nothing that can be wrong if everyone involved is informed and on board.”
I saw the point she was making and it was really resonating with me. I felt my shoulders drop as my tension melted away. My brain was moving a million miles per hour, but every time I worked it through it came down to this: yes, we’re siblings and most people would think it was gross to jerk off together. But if it was just between the two of us, and it brought us both pleasure no one was being hurt. If we went into it with our eyes open, there would be nothing to regret later.
Kelly had let me sit there thinking for a few minutes before she decided to take action. She reached for the controller to turn the porn back on, but I interrupted her. “No, you don’t have to turn it back on.”
“Oh, ok. That’s fine. I don’t want to force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” She said softly.
Seeing that she misunderstood what I meant I stood up and dropped my shorts again, catching her off guard. She looked confused so I explained “I’m comfortable jerking off with you Kelly, I just don’t think we need the porn this time.”
“Fuck yeah!” She growled at me, spreading her legs and turning to face me.
I smiled back at her and I sat back down on my side of the couch, facing her. She reached for her wand but I shook my head and said “Just you and me. Just hands” drawing a devious smile from her.
Kelly pinched and rubbed her nipples while plunging two fingers deep in her pussy. After just a few minutes of our mutual masturbation the distinct smell of her arousal wafted across the couch to me which caused me to stroke with more urgency. Every time Kelly would smile It would cause an involuntary smile to spread across my face too. When she would moan or whimper, I would groan in response. I didn’t think it could get any better, but then she started talking again.
“Fuck! You have such a pretty cock, you know that?” She panted. “I love seeing you stroke that dick while you watch me. I’m wetter than I’ve been in years.”
“Can you take a third finger?” I asked, but she just shrugged her shoulders and shot a bratty face back at me. I was puzzled for a second but then I thought about everything she had told me, and the path forward became very clear. “Fuck your cunt with three fingers now, slut.” I commanded.
She instantly complied by slipping her pointer finger inside her pussy to join the other two. The idea of telling my sister what to do instantly caused my dirty thoughts to spiral off in a hundred different directions. When I finally tore my eyes away from Kelly’s full pussy, I saw that she had a pouty look on her face.
When she saw my eyes meet her’s she asked “Is that good?” before biting her lower lip.
“Yeah. That’s good. You’re such a good little slut.” I replied causing a big smile to spread across her face.
“Thank you, little bro.” she cooed in return.
“Now, since you like anal so much, I want to see you play with your asshole” I said, emphasizing with a groan.
Kelly took her other hand away from her tit and slobbered all over her fingers. She scooted her ass out so she was now laying down, with her head on the arm of the couch. She reached under her own leg and started to rub her asshole, all while staring right at me.
“Yeah. That’s good. Fuck your ass for me Kelly.”
After some warm up she now had one finger all the way in her ass while three from her other hand kept sliding in and out of her pussy. I was barely stroking anymore because I was trying to hold off from coming. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long.
“I love what a sick fuck you are Pat. Sitting there with your cock in your hands, making your sister stuff her holes for you.” Just the sound of her voice made me want to erupt.
“I love seeing you all filled up for me Kelly. I’m so fucking close”
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