Finding Jonathan by Silverpen69

This is as true of a story as I can remember. It happened years ago and so the facts may be a little embellished but the essence of what happened will be forever engrained in my heart and in my mind.Just a little history about who I am. My father died when I was eight years old leaving my mother alone to raise six young children. There were three boys and three girls, and I was stuck right in the middle, I wasn’t the oldest and relied on to take-charge, nor was I the youngest and looked after as the baby. I was just there in the middle and somewhat forgotten.

My mother tried (on her own) for a few years to raise us and as far as I was concerned, she did a pretty good job. But my mom thought there was something missing.

My mother felt there needed to be a man in the family and so after joining an organization called Parents without Partners, she met my stepfather, and they were married. Now my stepfather had recently gone through a bitter divorce and had custody of his three sons. So, as I said, with a simple “I do” at the justice of the peace, I gained three stepbrothers and my world was instantly thrown through the gates of hell.

Our house didn’t have enough bedrooms and so we had to share. Trying to make two families one: my mother decided to room me with one of my stepbrothers. I was now twelve and Eugene was fourteen.

The first few weeks went well, and we got along. I was very naïve, and my brother was very street smart. I wanted to be Like Eugene and tried to tag along with him and his friends. At first it was OK because my mother would intervene and tell Eugene If he wanted to go places, he needed to take me along as well.

I remember things changed one Friday night when Eugene wanted to go for a bike ride out into the Arizona desert with his friends and without me. My mom for the first time told my stepbrother it was his choice, and I immediately began begging. Eugene wouldn’t give in,and I went to bed thinking my plans were dashed to go with him.

While we were in our twin beds I happen to look over and my brother was naked, laying on top of his covers. He was already developed allot more than me with a patch of hair around his rock-hard cock that was easily six or seven inches long.

“Hey!” Eugene whispered. “You want to come with me tomorrow?”

“You know I do.” I replied.

“Then come over here and stroke my dick.” He chuckled.

I wanted to belong so badly that I didn’t think. I just slithered out of my bed and into his. I remember reaching over and feeling his warm firm prick as I wrapped my hand around the base. Slowly I slid my hand up and as my thumb explored the tip of his mushroom head, I could feel the hot sticky pre-cum already oozing out.

Neither of us said a word as I stroked his member. Before long I could hear his breath becoming shallower and more intense. He began rocking his hips up to meet each one of my downward strokes. I don’t know why but I was getting just as excited, and my breathing soon matched his.

Then without warning he began grunting and grabbed my arm. His now rock-hard cock pulsed and quivered as it shot ribbon after ribbon of hot gooey semen high into the air. I was amazed at the load he delivered, because as of yet when I pleasured myself, I produced very little or no semen at all.

When he had finished, he shoved me out of the bed and rolled over. The next morning, he announced to my mother that he guessed I could tag along.

This became a ritual with my brother and me. If I wanted to go along with him, I had to pay the price. On one such outing there was only Eugene, myself and one other of his friends. We had ridden our bikes out into the desert in search of rattle snakes, scorpions or whatever else we could find. Once we were away from any civilization my stepbrother’s friend said, “So this is the little fag? You gonna make him jerk me off like you promised?”

Before I knew what was happening, I was told if I didn’t jerk both my stepbrother and his friend off at the same time, they were going to leaving me in the desert. What could I do? I waited as they both dropped their pants, and I couldn’t help noticing that my stepbrother was longer than his friend, but his friend was thicker by a long shot.

I did what I had to do and halfway through I felt my brother’s friend’s hands on my head. He forced my head down and while Eugene watched and I begged him for help, my mouth was raped for the first time. Soon my stepbrother got up the courage to enjoy the feel of his teenage cock violating my terrified oral orifice, and from that time on hand jobs were just not good enough.

Just when I thought my life could get no worse, my stepbrother confided in his older brother what he had been doing and how good of a cock sucker I was. I remember it was my senior year of high school. My stepbrother had moved out but every year the “men” of the family would get together to go deer hunting.

We were up on the Mogollon Rim in Northern Arizona near the Grand Canyon. Eugene had told my stepdad that he and Alvin (his older brother) would hike to the north and that they would take me. When I told my stepdad I wanted to stay in camp he made it clear that I would do what I was told.

We had hiked for about half the day and stopped for lunch. Alvin had disappeared, wandering off a way to check for deer sign. That’s when Eugene dropped his pants and laid on his back on the cool forest lawn. He called me over and told me to take my pants off and get down on my knees between his legs and suck his cock.

Slowly I did what I was told wondering why today I had to take my pants off. Usually, he just grabbed my shirt collar and forced me to my knee’s clothes and all. Today was different. I could feel a tension in the air, a foreboding of a new and yet unknown danger. As I knelt with my head on my brother’s crotch and my ass in the air, I heard something behind me. I turned just in time to see Alvin walk up behind me and grab my hips.

I tried to move and get away, but my two brothers were too strong. I could feel Alvin spit on my ass as I began to whimper. He reached up and slapped my ass and then licking his finger he showed it into my tight virgin hole. I grunted and screeched in pain; it was only a finger, but it hurt so bad. His finger was followed by a second. By now Eugene had cum and was just holding me in place watching the show.

Alvin removed his hand away from my anus and spit on my hole one last time. He then leaned forward and arched his back aligning his cock with my quivering sphincter. He pressed it against me, and I could feel the pressure. Just then Eugene grabbed my hands and pulled them out from under me. I fell on top of him taking Alvin with me. Alvin used the momentum to shove his cock inside me with one strong forceful push. I screamed in pain and almost blacked out.

Alvin didn’t hesitate or stop to see if I was OK. He didn’t care about my screams or my fruitless attempts to break free. He forced himself inside me again and again until I lost track of time. Finally, he arched his back, and I could feel his seed fill my insides.

When he was finished my two brothers got dressed and began walking back to camp, laughing and joking, leaving me to gather my clothes and follow or be left behind. That night when I changed for bed, I saw traces of blood on my underwear and silently cried myself to sleep.

It was no wonder that as soon as I graduated high school, I joined the Air Force and left home for good. Soon after I met my wife to be, we married and had thirty-eight wonderful years together before illness took her life.

I had tried to date other women, but each time felt as if I was cheating on my wife. I joined the YMCA to keep active and on one night I found myself in the sauna close to closing time with another gentleman. We were both naked except for a towel draped over our mid sections. We talked about many things, and I learned he was a bachelor and he learned I was a widower.

At some point the conversation turned to sex and he asked what I did now that I no longer had a companion. As he spoke, he let his towel slide to his side and revealed his half erect penis. I suddenly had flashbacks of my youth and was inwardly screaming and looking for a way to escape. The man could see my fear and covered himself.

He asked me what was wrong, and we talked until closing time about my horrendous youth. He apologized and told me that sex between men could be a beautiful thing and nothing to be afraid of. He placed a soft hand on my thigh and spoke quietly calming my fears and trepidation. I stood, but when I did my own towel dropped and revealed an almost erect penis. My thoughts and feelings had betrayed myself just as I was betrayed by my stepbrothers so many years ago.

“I’m not ready!” I simply blurted out and almost ran from the sauna.

Over the next few weeks, I thought about what he had said. Could he be right? Was I missing something special just because I couldn’t betray my wife being with another woman? I had heard about Craig’s list dating and decided it wouldn’t hurt to just look.

There were men of every shape and size looking for everything under the sun. Some just wanted to talk while others wanted so much more. While looking through the ads I came across one that caught my eye. It was from a younger man who was just looking for companionship and to cuddle. This seemed pretty safe and so I messaged him. My heart was actually going pitter patter waiting to see if he would respond.

When he did, I almost shut my computer off and run for cover. We messaged back and forth and finally we decided to meet with the idea that if either of us became uncomfortable we would call it quits and part ways.

The evening soon came that was arranged for us to meet. I gave the young man my address and explained that it was about half a mile from the Maverick gas station. He told me he was on his way and now all I had to do was wait.