From the door Sam asks, “Mommy are you okay?”
Kathryn answers, “I just had to go to the bathroom that’s all.” Now with the smile she adds, “If you to stop treating me like I would break, I would appreciate it.”
Scooping Sam up and turning back to Kathryn we both say, “Nope not happening.”
Kathryn with a mean expression that I know that is just playful, this close I can feel that she’s not really upset and before she can say anything I whisper to Sam, “If your Mommy were really mad her eyes would be brown.” Sam looks at her Mommy and begins to giggle.
Kathryn hardening her expression to no avail, her eyes still remain green, says “What are you two talking about over there?”
Sam giggles, and I smile before saying, “We know you’re not really upset because your eyes are still green.”
Kathryn exhales “I guess that’s why I can never play poker, every time I got a great hand I would get happy about it. I guess I gave myself away.”
With a chuckle I say, “We’ll just get you a pair of sunglasses the next time you play poker with the family.”
Kathryn giggles and says “Maybe I’ll just start wearing them around all the time.”
Sam gets a concerned look before she asks, “If you do that Mommy how can I tell if you’re happy?”
Kathryn finishing using the bathroom is now washing her hands and she glances in the mirror at me. Playfully she says, “If you see a worried expression on your Daddy’s face you’ll know that I’m not happy.”
Sam looks at me and asks, “Daddy do you know every time Mommy is not happy?”
With a chuckle I say, “Yes, and she knows every time I’m not happy too.”
Sam looks at the both of us turning first one to the other than begins to smile. I’m not sure what she’s thinking of but she’s happy and that’s all I’m worried about. Kathryn comes and hugs the both of us.
Mom walking by notices the three of us in the bathroom. Shakes her head before she asks, “What’s all this about?”
We turn to look at her; Sam and Kathryn both have bright emerald green eyes showing their true happiness. It’s then that Mom notices as well. Mom takes a deep breath and a large smile crosses her face before she asks, “Sam are you wearing colored contacts?”
Giggling Sam says, “I got eyes just like Mommy they give away that I am happy.”
Mom says, “My grandmother’s eyes were like that too. I never remember them being anything but green. I found in the Bible a letter written by Grandpa where they talk about her eyes changing to blue as he left. He wrote how he wanted to see her eyes turn green again.”
I say, “That makes sense, since Sam and Kathryn has some of the same ancestors as we do. It’s possible that it’s a family trait that didn’t make it to us.”
Kathryn says, “Grandma Elizabeth has the same type of eyes too, and I’ve seen hers turn green occasionally. She’s had so many things happen in her life that they seldom stay that way when she remembers something that haunts her from her past.”
Sam asks, “Mommy does any of my aunts have eyes like ours?”
Kara’s comes to my mind; I think I’ve seen them change shades. Kathryn says, “Both Kara and Karen have eyes like me, but they tend to look bluer even when they’re happy.”
I say, “I bet when you see her next they’re very green.”
Kathryn giggling says, “If they are not I’m kicking Daniel’s ass.”
Mom jokes as she says, “I bet there green too, you should’ve heard her screaming when I walked back from Helen’s last night.”
Kathryn asks, “Good screaming?”
Mom laughing fully for a moment before she replies, “Of course, it sounded like she was having a great time. I’m a little envious.”
Kathryn looking at me sadly says, “I’m glad she was having a good time. I just wish I could. That’s the only thing that sucks about being pregnant.”
I remind Kathryn, “You will not be pregnant forever sweetheart. I waited for you for a long time before, and I can do it again.”
Kathryn looking into my eyes says, “I’m not worried about you cheating, I know you wouldn’t do that. You’d feel so guilty about it and never be able to forget that guilt.” I lean in give Kathryn a kiss, and Sam still in our arms takes the opportunity and gives us both the kiss on the cheek.
We go back and finish with the groceries, and I give a call to Joan letting her know I got the ingredients for one hundred and twenty tamales. Joan giggles and tells me that’s a lot, I tell her that’s only about six per person when the family is all there. Joan asks where I got the ingredients from, and she talks to Alyssa later that evening they come in with the ingredients for about another hundred and twenty.
Jokingly I say, “You must’ve heard Kathryn’s stomach growling in the background when I mentioned tamales.”
Kathryn lightly punches me in the arm for my joke. She then says, “When we were in San Antonio the tamales there were really good. JJ says yours is even better.”
Johnny carrying in the last of the groceries says, “Mom makes the best I’ve ever eaten.”
Alyssa says, “Tomorrow afternoon will start on them, I want about hundred and eighty, for New Year’s Day. We will need to make all of them, so we can keep that many for New Year’s.” Alyssa looks at Johnny and me, which causes Kathryn and Joan to giggle. Johnny and I get that not me expression, the last time I had Alyssa’s tamales Johnny and I had gotten into them early and eaten a lot. We didn’t get any for dinner, but they weren’t any left at all after dinner.
Joking Johnny says, “Hey JJ Mom’s only making thirty extra for each of us tomorrow night.”
Alyssa says, “Who said you’re getting any. You can have six on New Year’s for each of you, JJ and Johnny. The sixty extra are for the girls were going to help me make them.”
Kathryn gives a triumphant, “Yes!” This is immediately followed by Joan doing the same. Mom and Sam are giggling at the rest of us.
The feelings I’m having are unpleasant, and I hate to admit they exist. I really don’t want to get mad at the situation because I really would regret it later, and with an eidetic memory like mine you learn quickly not to make those types of mistakes. It’s not that I’m perfect; it’s just that I can’t forget any of my mistakes. So I calm myself down as fast as I possibly can.
Johnny doesn’t have the type memory like I do, so before he can really get mad about it I say, “Johnny we can go get enough ingredients for another hundred and twenty from the grocery store. I’m sure we can find some more volunteers to help make them.”
Alyssa says, “Now that’s the best idea yet.”
I start to find the volunteers to help make the tamales; I give a call to the coach who declines, he and the boys are watching a football game. Johnny learning that the game is on disappears with only saying, “Sorry.”
That left no one but me to help make more of the tamales. Then Ms. Clark comes to mind, we haven’t got to see the girls Miss Clark brought over in a while. I’m sure they’re all out from school over the Christmas break, and it is early enough in the day that she still should be at her office. After talking with Kathryn and Alyssa, I give Ms. Clark a call and ask, “Miss Clark I know it’s short notice, but I was wondering if you could bring the girls out. We were going to have a dinner on New Year’s with most of the family. We’re making tamales this evening I’m sure I can afford enough ingredients so the girls can make some to bring back with them. We’ll make dinner for the girls too.”
Ms. Clark says, “JJ you’re a lifesaver, those girls have been bored to death since Christmas. It’s getting bad trying to find something to keep them busy.”
I knew Ms. Clark was going to jump on the opportunity to bring the children out; it gives them an experience with a family. It exposes them to at least four different couples financially capable of adopting. That is her job, to ensure the well-being of the children either through adoption or by the state. A lot of the social workers became familiar with all the family during the recent adoption of Sam. Occasionally when Ms. Clark would come out in the past she would bring one or two other young girls with her. It would give Sam some interaction with children her own age, but it also gives Ms. Clark an opportunity to talk to Sam in a more relaxed manner. Children seem to relax more when another child is involved.
I left to pick up the additional ingredients that Alyssa wanted me to bring, not only were we going to make tamales, but tacos for dinner for the children. We would involve everyone in the process of making dinner, because we could take the ingredients from the stove and allow the children to build their tacos at the table. We would keep the children safe and nowhere near the cooking surface, but give them the thrill and experience of preparing their own meal. To a child it is a big event doing anything for the first time.
By the time I return, with Sam who insisted on coming Ms. Clark is there with the children, she had a couple little boys with her this time. The house is full of voices of children as they play and I tell Sam to go play with them. It doesn’t take Sam long to find one of the girls she has befriended from Ms. Clark’s visits. The two skip off together happily.
Kathryn displays a wide smile as a young girl feels Amanda kicking with a look of wonder on her young face. Alyssa seems to be very affectionate to that young girl and I wonder if I’ve just added to the family. I can hear the game going on downstairs, and realize the Coach and my brother-in-law’s moved over here knowing that Alyssa will not turn them down from having tamales. I’m thankful I got more than what Alyssa asked for.
MC is even there, she has a young girl on her lap and they both talk with a smile on their faces. I think to myself MC needs someone special in her life, she is a beautiful woman although I know she’s been heartbroken by someone just recently. He assumed she was out of work, poor and when a richer woman come along he dumped MC for her. After MC said she didn’t want to see him anymore she informed him that she was actually a billionaire. Needless to say the asshole tried to apologize, I don’t think she accepted his apology and he didn’t show up for Christmas. I’ve had a hard time dragging MC out of her home ever since then. It’s really good to see her smile again.
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