“Yeah, and we can even grab some lunch.”
“I want to go! Master, can I go too?” Sonja asked.
“Will Master take me as well?” asked Jenny.
“Sorry, but I think it would be best if I only took one of you at a time. You’ll each get a turn. Momo?”
“Ok.”
“Good, but before we go, you’ll have to put on a shirt that covers a little more. And a bra.”
“Master, this thing is itchy,” Momo said as she scratched at the bra under her top.
“Momo, when we’re at the mansion, you’re free to walk around without a bra. Hell, when we’re at home, I love when you don’t even wear a shirt. But this is something you need to do when you leave the house.”
“Fine. What is this place? Is this the store?”
“No, this is a place called McDonalds.” We had just pulled into the drive-through and were waiting in line behind other cars. “It’s sort of like the grocery store in that you can buy food, but while there is a lot less variety, the food you buy here is already prepared for you. I wanted to stop here for lunch.”
“Are we going inside?”
“No, just watch.”
We pulled up to the speaker and we were asked our order. Hearing the stranger’s voice, Momo jerked in surprise. “Is this like the phone?”
“Sort of.”
I ordered us double quarter-pounder and a regular quarter-pounder with fries and milkshakes, more than enough to satisfy my junk food craving. As I spoke into the speakerphone, Momo sniffed the air and began to drool.
“Master, something smells really good.”
“Just you wait.”
I pulled up to the first window and paid, then moved up to the second. As the scrawny college student handed us our food, he noticed Momo sitting in the passenger seat. Her ears were pretty hard to miss.
“Holy shit, is she one of those animal people?!” he exclaimed.
“She is. Momo, say hello.”
She had her face buried in the paper bag holding our food, but looked up and gave the man a small wave. “Hello.”
The man looked back inside. “Hey, guys! There’s a catgirl out here!”
He reached into his pocket to get his phone, but we had already left.
As we drove to the grocery store, I took my first bite out of my burger and nearly melted from the taste. Next to me, Momo was giving a happy growl and digging into hers. “It’s so good!” she said.
“It is easily one of the most unhealthy and disgusting foods on Earth, but Goddammit, it’s fucking delicious. It’s been so long since I ate beef, I wanted to pig out.”
“Master, why haven’t we had beef in such a long time? Momo misses spaghetti and meat sauce.”
“I can’t cook it because Betty is around.”
“So?”
“So, she’s a cow, and beef is cow meat. How would you like it if we had cat meat one night?”
All of Momo’s hair stood on end, her tail completely erect and her eyes as wide as dinner plates. “There aren’t any places that have cat meat, are there?”
I probably could have made any number of jokes about Chinese restaurants, but they would have gone over her head.
We pulled into the parking lot of the nearby grocery store, this being the first time for both of us. I didn’t notice anyone looking at us as we crossed the lot to the entrance, but that would change once we got inside. Like Chloe, the automatic doors scared Momo, but I pulled her inside. There a handful of people passed us by, either retrieving empty shopping carts set up along the wall and departing with full ones, but as soon as they saw Momo, they stopped and stared. She didn’t seem to mind the gazes, showing a very bored look on her face.
We walked past the petrified shoppers, and after a second set of automatic doors, Momo let out an audible gasp. The grocery store was smaller than the mansion, but the vast openness left her baffled.
“So much food,” she murmured.
First, we strolled through the vegetable section, picking out greens to satiate everyone back home. Chloe, Jenny, Betty, and Peter were all omnivores, but they preferred vegetables over meat if given the choice. Shelves were lined with fresh produce, kept damp by sprinklers on a timer.
I grabbed a plastic bag and handed it to Momo. “See the broccoli over there? Go get a few big pieces.”
Momo pouted. “Master knows that Momo hates broccoli.”
“Well it’s a Master’s duty to make sure his pet is healthy.”
She grudgingly took the bag and went over, and at the moment that I turned my head, I heard her give a loud hiss. Anyone who wasn’t watching her before certainly was now. Momo walked back over with her hair and shirt wet. It seemed she had gotten hit with the sprinklers.
“Momo hates this place. Momo wants to go home.”
It’s amazing how similar the personalities are of a cat and a belligerent toddler.
“Now, now, there’s no need to get fussy. I’ll get the broccoli, you grab some cucumbers.”
Once we had gotten all the vegetables we needed, I moved on to the cheese section, but before we were even halfway through it, Momo caught of whiff of something and took off. As always, she drew the eyes of everyone around her, her ears and tail impossible to miss. Momo threw herself onto the sneeze guard along the counter of the fish section, staring down at the treasures of the sea with her mouth watering. Customers around her gazed in amazement, finally able to see a hybrid in the flesh after weeks of news coverage.
“Master! Master! There’s so much fish! Momo wants fish!”
I came over and stood her up. “Momo, don’t go running off. If you want fish for dinner, I’ll get you some.”
She pointed to some pink salmon. “Momo wants fish now! Momo wants that fish!” Her behavior was starting to draw laughs from our spectators. I suppose that’s a good thing, better they find her funny than scary.
“No, you already had lunch. Besides, I don’t want you eating raw fish.”
“Please?” She started rubbing her head against me like a drunk goat. “Please, Master?”
“Do you promise to be well behaved for the rest of the day?”
“Yuh-huh!” she said with an eager nod.
“Ok, but we have to wait in line like everyone else.”
I brought her to the end of the line and took a numbered ticket from the dispenser. Momo stared at the encased roll with mischievous curiosity, and as one would expect, started pulling out tickets one by one until I stopped her.
The person ahead of us was a middle-aged blonde woman, and I have to hand it to her, she was able to resist her own curiosity for a good while before giving in and turning around. “Excuse me, is she really one of those animal people they’ve been talking about on the news?”
“Yep, this is Momo. I went to sleep one night with a regular cat on my chest, wake up to find her instead.”
“She isn’t dangerous, is she?”
“Not at all, unless you’re a vet, then she’ll take a swing at you.” Momo’s hair stood on end at the mentioning of vets and I calmed her down by rubbing her head. “Relax, you’re fine.”
“And you take care of her like this?”
“Of course, I’ve taught her everything from brushing her teeth to cooking dinner.” I started tickling under the chin and she began to purr. “Right, Momo?”
“Momo loves playing with Master,” she said.
My sphincter slammed shut and I forgot how to breathe, waiting for the woman to respond. She simply smiled and said, “I’m sure you do.” Sometimes I forget that “playing” has a very different meaning in our house than in others.
Our time soon came and I got enough fish to satisfy Momo’s feline hunger. The man behind the counter actually gave her a piece of raw swordfish as a treat.
“Momo, what do you say?”
“Thank you!” she exclaimed with her mouth full.
Unfortunately, Momo’s promise of good behavior went out the window. The fish section had gotten her all excited and now she was wound up like she was chasing a moth at three in the morning.
“Master, can Momo have this?”
“Master, can Momo have that?”
“Master, Momo wants those!”
“Master, let’s get cake!”
Every time she saw something she liked or simply didn’t understand, she’d pull on my sleeve and beg me to get it for her. When I was a little kid, I used to behave the same exact way in the store. My mom called it the “gimme’s”, and now I finally knew how to felt to be at the other end. People started following us through the store; not directly behind us, they had the decency to keep some distance, but whenever I looked over my shoulder, I could see them, peering from around the corners of aisles, darting back when I spotted them like coyotes. I didn’t blame them, Momo could certainly draw attention.
I finally managed to get her to the checkout aisle, but by then, we had the entire store watching us. “Ok, now we put everything on the table and pay for it.”
Momo did as told and started moving the food over onto the conveyor belt. It started to move and she jumped back. “Master, what’s going on?” she asked fearfully.
“Relax, it’s just a machine.”
We continued loading our food onto the conveyor belt with the cashier doing her best to focus on her job instead of Momo, though I could see her snickering at Momo’s reaction to the belt moving. It was a relief when we finally got out of the store and returned to the car.
“Momo, I love you, but you were a pain in the ass in there.”
“Sorry, Master.”
“Just try to behave better the next time I take you out. And remember, Betty cannot find out that we had burgers for lunch.”
“Ok, you two, blow out the candles,” I said to Peter and Jenny.
We were all gathered at the dinner table, looking at the expansive cake placed before us. I had gotten it at the store with Momo, though it had been a challenge to keep her from giving into temptation and pigging out in the middle of the store. We were celebrating the rabbits’ “birthdays”, their transformations. Jenny and Peter were sitting on opposite sides of the table, and they both leaned in and gave a puff, blowing out the two candles.
Everyone clapped and I started cutting up the cake. All around me, tails were wagging in anticipation, and once I handed the first two pieces to Jenny and Peter, all the hybrids crowded in, fighting for the next slice.
“Hey, everyone, get back to your seats! Only people sitting can have cake!”
I shooed them all back and finally handed everyone a slice.
“This is so good!” Jenny exclaimed with her ears standing straight up. Peter was in a similar state, and all through the table, that same moan of happiness was being heard.
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