This all started five months ago and I knew nothing about it. I didn’t understand what was going on, had found nothing similar to this online, and hadn’t taken a single step out of Square 1. What was I supposed to do? Where was I supposed to go? Where could I live that would let me provide for the girls but keep me far away from any animals? And even if there was a place I could go, my finances were all wrapped up in this house.
It took a long time, but at last I regained my composure, my grief receding to bearable levels. Taking a deep breath, I opened the closet door and pulled myself out. Part of me didn’t want to leave my tiny sanctuary, but it felt good to breath fresh air and stretch my muscles. From the lighting outside, it looked to be late in the afternoon, probably close to 24 hours since I first went in. In the bathroom, I checked my appearance. Gaunt was the only word that could describe me. My bloodshot eyes were sunken and my face and body were pale and emaciated. It had only been one day, but it looked like I had been trapped in some POW camp for a month.
I staggered downstairs and found the girls all on the mattress by the woodstove. They stared at me and shock.
“Master!”
As one, they tackled me, each of them crying. They knocked be over, but I managed to grab the banister and slow myself down, just sitting on the stairs while the girls soaked my pants with their tears.
“I’m sorry, girls. I’m sorry for waking you worry.”
I felt much better after eating some cereal and drinking some hot coffee. It wasn’t until I came downstairs that I regained my appetite, and it was the hungriest I had ever been. The girls and I were sitting around the kitchen table, the three of them watching me eat with tear-streaked faces.
“Girls…”
“We’re sorry!” they all cried.
“Wait, what?”
“We’re sorry for what we did! Please forgive us!” It was amazing that they were all saying this in perfect synchronicity. But what were they apologizing for?
“Girls, you didn’t do anything wrong. I know I told you to always be honest with me, but actually, I’m glad you waited to tell me. It really would have been a depressing Christmas. I’m not angry at any of you. I just feel guilty about her, about what could have been. It so easily could have happened any of you and I’m terrified because it will probably happen again. She died and it’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault! Nothing is Master’s fault!” said Momo.
“Master took care of us and gave us a home!” said Sonja.
“We love Master!” cried Chloe.
I smiled, feeling my heart swell and unable to speak. I took me a moment for my throat to stop hurting.
“Come on, let’s all get nice and cozy.”
The girls and I all ate, and once I turned off the generator, I followed them to the bed and crawled under the covers with them. I was covered head to toe in blankets, with Momo clinging to one arm, Sonja clinging to the other, and Chloe lying on my chest. The girls were all holding me extra tight, as if to make up for lost time.
“I love you girls. I love you with all my heart.”
And I did love them, more than I had ever loved anyone else. But for their sake and mine, perhaps it was time for the world to know about them.
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