Charles says, “I agree with you, it is only when you try to be gentle with your adversary that you are vulnerable.”
I state, “When someone is trying to kill you, vulnerable is the last thing you want to be.”
Charles replies, “I totally understand Kara’s actions, even if she tried only to knock him out, the amount of adrenaline that must have been surging to her system was probably higher than any time in her life. It is no wonder that kick killed him.”
That should make an adequate defense. She was more frightened than any time in her life, she was holding Cindy in her arms when the shotgun fired, and Cindy was the intended target. Her mother jumped between Cindy and her Ex-husband with perfect timing.
I tell Charles, “That would be true, the only time anything occurred like that was when the bear attacked, she was brave enough to come back for Michelle, and what I thought was Michelle trying to get back to her feet was Kara pulling her up. I know at that time also when I kicked the bear, I had no idea I was going to kick it that hard. The amount adrenaline in my system easily doubled my strength.”
Charles adds, “I have seen men do things nearly what you would call super human during times of great stress. I saw men react so quickly your eyes could not follow what they did, I saw one man do what three men should not been able to do. Adrenaline is amazing. It can make you so strong and so fast for a few minutes.”
I say, “It is not something that Kara deals with often, fortunately. Kara would have no idea what adrenaline would do in her system, she had not even started training with me until her sophomore year, three and half years ago. Although she is very skilled, she lacks any practical experience using her martial arts, we do not use barriers for the class to break. For safety reasons no one spars at full strength, even though skilled Kara truly had no idea of how much damage she would do.”
Charles states, “That would be your second line of your defense, if that stupid DA presses charges.”
Asking Charles’s advice feels natural and I know the man has a lot to teach me. I ask, “You think I should get a lawyer to start coordinating a defense for Kara?”
Charles is reflective before he says, “The DA may take that as a sign of guilt or a challenge. As I understand it there is not a lot of work for him in this county.”
Ms. Clark clears her throat, “I am sorry to interrupt you JJ, I am not here as a social worker right now. Is there anything I can do for Cindy or Kara?”
Thinking of how Crystal reacted, I asked Ms. Clark, “Sylvia had a will written, it named me the executor and transfers custody to Kara and Daniel. I know you are not here as a social worker, but as our friend. Could you help me explain that to Cindy? I do not want her to be fearful of her future.”
Ms. Clark smiles, “I have noticed how they react to each other, and I think Sylvia had chosen wisely.”
Smiling my agreement I say, “I do love Cindy, and wish what is best for her. Daniel and Kara seemed to fit her. The best part is I get to still be her uncle.”
Kathryn comes in with Cindy, fresh and clean from her shower, seeing Ms. Clark she nearly panics but Kathryn says reassuringly, “Miss Clark is not here as a social worker, she is here to find out if there is anything she can do to help you.”
Cindy is still somewhat hesitant as she comes forward, I say, “Cindy there is a few things that Ms. Clark and I need to discuss with you. Do not worry nothing is going to change overnight. You have a say when and how it changes.”
Kathryn brings Cindy to the couch, and I sat beside Cindy holding her hand, Kathryn holds to her other hand. Ms. Clark sets opposite us, looking at Cindy and seeing how fearful she is Ms. Clark says, “First Cindy, I believe no one will take you away from this family. I would not recommend it, and I believe none of my coworkers would also. So you do not need to worry about that, although you may see me a little more often in the near future, it is not to take you away.” Cindy relaxes, and her whole body stop shaking.
I tell Cindy, “They will be some changes, but you will tell me when you are ready for them.” Seeing the look of curiosity on her face I ask, “Cindy do you know what a will is?”
Cindy’s eyes go wide thinking that the lack of that knowledge may affect her future now fearful again. She shakes her head no. I smile to reassure her and say, “Cindy a will is not a bad thing, and it is what we write when we want others to know what we want carried out if we die. Your mother had one written, she put me in charge of making sure what she wanted would occur. When you are ready and Kara is back on her feet, you can live with Daniel and Kara. Your mother knew that Daniel and Kara loved you. She thought it would be best for them to be your new Mom and Dad. She knew she was sick and there was a possibility that she did not survive, that is why she wrote the will. Because your mother loves you, she wanted to see you happy. Nothing you did caused this, it is just that bad things happen that is why we write wills.”
Cindy asks fearfully, “Are you sure uncle JJ? Before Mommy got out of jail, I did not want her back. I did not want anyone to be my Mommy and Daddy but Kara and Daniel.”
Answering Cindy’s fearful question I say, “I am certain, you did not know how much your mother had changed. I do not blame you for not wanting her back if she had not changed. Your mother was able to show you her true self, not what the drugs made her. She proved she loves you more than her life itself, she knew if you survived you would be with parents and family who love you.”
Cindy again tearful says, “I was just getting my Mommy back, when that bastard took her away. Mommy told me he was not even my real Daddy. Uncle JJ, why did he have to do that? Mama Kara and Angel Mommy was both hurt, when Mama Kara grabbed me I heard her saying “Oh God no.” I know she was trying to jump out of the way, but there was no time. She jumped just as I heard the boom, I felt something heavy bump into us and push us backwards. That was my Mommy just before she became an Angel.”
I answer Cindy truthfully, “I do not know why he would do something like that. I do not understand people who allow hatred to destroy their own life. What he did, no one else could control. You did not cause him to do what he did.”
Ms. Clark says, “Cindy your uncle is right, no one can control what someone will do because of anger or hatred. What he did, he had decided to do. Your Mom decided to protect you. Sylvia used the only thing she had to do that.” Miss Clark begins crying and through her tears she says, “Sylvia proved she was a good mother, she proved she loved you.”
Cindy through tears she says, “I knew Mommy loved me, she never had to prove it. I knew she loved me when she got off the drugs, when she used the drugs she loved them and could not love me.”
Doing my best I still cannot hold tears back. I tell Cindy, “That is what love can do for you Cindy. It can make you stronger when you need it. Love for you is what brought her back to us. She almost died a month ago, her love pull her through that. She wanted to show you who she really was. Not the woman on drugs, she wanted to be your mother to make up for what was lost.”
Cindy is trying to wipe the tears away that seemed only to come faster. Through those tears she says, “I know what I lost now, that is what makes it hurt so bad.” She comes into my lap and puts her head on my shoulder, Kathryn and I do what we can to comfort her.
After a few more moments Cindy asks, “Uncle JJ can we go back now? I want to see Moma.”
Ms. Clark says, “I can come, I am a grief counselor. I know Cindy is grieving and that is good, Daniel and Kara will need to grieve for their friend. They will need some counseling; they may have what is called survivor’s guilt.”
Charles from the doorway says, “I will drive you. That way you can be in the back seat with Sam and Cindy.”
Through my tears, I can barely make him out, and Kathryn is worse. Charles driving would definitely be a good idea. Ms. Clark says, “I will follow you Charles.”
Twenty-five minutes later, we pull into the hospital parking lot. Charles drops us off by the door, saying he will be in shortly. Jane had driven Misty, Joan and Reese. Reese had sent Ron out for things like tissues, a soft blanket and a dozen other items. I think it was just to keep him busy.
Reese says, “I love him, but sometimes Ron is a bull in a china shop. I just did not want him upsetting Kara tonight. When he found out about the DA wanting to investigate, he said he is going to shove his prosthetic foot up the DA’s ass and leave it there.”
I cannot help but chuckle at the mental image that invoked, Sam and Crystal both have their hands over their mouths trying to hold back their giggles. Giggling Cindy says, “That is really funny Aunt Reese.”
Reese scoops Cindy up into her arms, she smiles at Cindy and says, “Cindy, we love you and that makes us family just as much as blood.”
I smile and hug the two, then we head on into the waiting room. Once inside, I noticed Daniel and Helen is not there, the Coach catches us. Pulling us over to one side, he says, “We are letting Daniel stay with Kara, and were taking turns replacing the other person. Helen just went back in, were going to let Cindy go next. Cindy you can stay as long as you want.”
Cindy says, “I did not get to speak to Sam yet.”
The Coach looking at Cindy says, “Cindy you can call me grandpa from now on. You have a few more minutes to speak to Sam.”
Cindy and Sam with Crystal tagging along goes to a corner still in sight, the two are talking quietly as Crystal shakes her head. I am not sure what Cindy asked Sam, but both girls began to hug her immediately. Sam says quietly but I still managed over hear, “Cindy you did not do anything wrong.” The three girls hold onto each other and I can tell that all three are crying.
Ms. Clark puts a hand on my shoulder keeping me from going to the girls. Ms. Clark says, “Sometimes they need peers support more than parental support. Give them a little while.”
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