At one point during the fiasco after the huge dog just had fucked Shannon for the third or fourth time. I overheard two men discussing Woof’s ability to lick his own cock.
The taller of the two said. “Man, I wish I could do that!”
The shorter man looked over at him with a crooked smile, and said. “Give him a treat and maybe he’ll let you.”
By eight am that morning everyone was fucked out and had left or were passed out on the floor of the banquet hall. The place was trashed, just liked after the bachelor party. Dave was stretched out on top of one of the tables. Shannon was lying comatose on the floor in a pool of sperm. Woof was in the corner licking his balls and my ass was aching from sitting dazed for hours in a steel folding chair. I was the only male at the gathering that had not fucked my new wife. Even the reverend boned her twice, once in the cunt and once in the ass.
Dave rolled to his feet and staggered toward the exit.
As he passed through the door, he called over his shoulder. “Congratulations on winning the heart of the girl of your dreams and be sure to take care of my cunt.”
Then the door drifted closed behind him. I was alone in the hall of my horrors. The only sounds were the slurping of Woof’s tongue attending to his hygiene and the snoring of my beautiful slimy bride.
I sighed, got up, rubbed my ass, stretched and muttered to myself. “I hope this isn’t going to be a regular thing.”
I went to where my naked wife was dreaming of cocks and sugar plums and attempted to pick her up. I barely got her three inches from the floor and her slippery body splashed back into the cum puddle. Being brain dead I attempted this endeavor eight or ten times before it occurred to me that I was wasting my time. Looking around the room my gaze fell upon Shannon’s wedding veil.
I retrieved the black lace garment and looped it around her right leg. Then slipping and sliding on the jizim slick linoleum, I drug her over to the double doors at rear of the hall. Sunlight glistened off of the trail of cum that led back from where we had just come, it looked as though a giant nuclear radiated snail had crawled across the banquet hall floor.
I swung the double doors open and backed my Ford econoline van up to them. Then I pulled Shannon’s legs into cargo area of the van. In this position she looked like she was sitting down in a chair only it had toppled onto its back. I tried lifting her several times with my arms under hers and clasped over chest but she slipped from my grasp. I looked down at my sperm covered rented tux and wondered how I was going to explain this to the rental company. Eventually I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed two hands full of hair and rolled/shoved her through the rear doors of the van.
I found her shoes and tossed them into the truck with her and slammed the doors shut. Then I took Shannon’s veil and threaded it through the dog’s collar and led him to the passenger door and opened it. He jumped up on the seat and sat with the veil around his neck, as if he were “king” of all that he observed, even though his floppy ears were pressed to the head liner of the van. Then we made the first step on the long journey that was our new life.
I backed the van into “OUR” garage at “OUR” house and clicked the remote door control and it rattled closed. It seemed very strange to realize that the house that I had lived alone in for the past eight years was now “our” house. I pulled out my cell phone, it was nine fifteen am. I hadn’t worn a watch for the past six years except for dressy social events. I guess my wedding didn’t qualify.
I muttered to myself again. “If last night was any indication, ‘our’ house was going to be the least of the strange things that I would be getting used to.”
I went around and opened the door for Woof and he gracefully hopped down from his throne and sniffed all the new smells. I was glad that my backed yard was fenced, because it would allow me to release the dog into the yard and not worry about him wandering off.
I opened the rear doors of the Ford and discovered that a new sperm pool had formed on the floor of my van under Shannon. Shaking my head I thought, ‘If this keeps up I am going to have to get rubber sheets for my van’.
“Fuck it.” I said.
I figured she couldn’t hate me any worse than she apparently already did, so I just left her there and led Woof into the house.
I located a pot in the kitchen, filled it with water and set it down in front of the mastiff. Woof lapped the cool liquid down with gratitude. I didn’t have any dog food so opened a package of hot dogs and fed them to him one at a time. It was like putting dollar bills into a vending machine only you didn’t have to smooth them out before you inserted them. I opened the back door and hustled the dog outside. Then I took a shower and made the decision that there was nothing I could do at that moment to repair the damage that I had done to my life so I forgot about it and went to sleep.
One eye opened and I stared at the luminous clock on my night stand. It indicated that the time was now three forty five. I assumed that it meant pm because it was still light outside. I had slept for about six hours and I didn’t feel any better than when I had crawled into bed. I sat up yawned and stretched my arms above my head and heard a strange noise. I followed the sound to the front door and looked out the peep hole. Nothing there. I opened the door and my husband-in-law trotted into the kitchen, did that circle the wagons thing and when he was satisfied he had found the right spot, plopped down, put his muzzle on his paws and went to sleep.
I went into the back yard to find out how Woof had gotten out of the fence and discovered that I apparently had forgotten to close and latch the gate. After securing the gate, I took a dish towel from the kitchen and went to check on my new wife. I found her as I had left her, naked, curled up, in the back of my van, only now the sperm on her body had dried and left a crusty layer over her entire body. She appeared to have a terminal case of psoriasis.
I reached in, shook her and she groaned. I shook her again harder, and she rolled onto her back and groaned louder. I had my hand on her shin and was about to shake her again when her eyes fluttered open a she stared blankly at the ceiling of the Ford. After a moment she looked down and spied my hand on her leg, she screamed.
Then she yelled at the top of her lungs. “Get your fucking hands off of me!”
I jerked my hand from her as if she were a thirteen year old yelling rape,
Then she saw the small towel in my other hand snatched it from me and held it to her chest in an apparent attempt at modesty. It seemed that exposed pussy was not a priority when defending one’s modesty.
“Where the fuck am I?” she screamed.
“Home.” I replied.
“The fuck you say. I don’t recognize this place.”
“It’s my………..our house.”
“Take me home cock sucker.”
“This is your home.”
She yelled in frustration. “Where are my clothes?”
“You didn’t have any.”
“Well get me something to wear and I’ll walk home.”
Leaving her in the garage I picked up the wall phone and called a cab.”
Then I searched my dresser and closet for anything that might fit her. I found an Atlanta PD “T” shirt that a cop had given me and a pair of old khaki shorts that were too small for me. When I came back into the garage she jumped up and again pressed the dish towel to her breasts.
“This is all I,” and she snatched the close from my hand. “could find.” I finished.
I stood there looking at her.
“Well?” she said looking back at me.
“Well what?” I asked
Are you going to turn around while I get dressed?”
I laughed at absurdity of her request and turned around.
After a moment I said, “I called you a cab.”
Then I heard the door going into the house slam shut and I followed her into the house. By the time I got inside she had marched out the front door and was headed up the street, mumbling to herself, holding up my shorts with one hand and franticly waving with the other.
She was almost to the end of the block when the cab pulled in front of our house. I took two twenties from my wallet and handed them to him.
“See that woman up there?” I said pointing to Shannon. “Take her where ever she wants to go and if that isn’t enough come back and I will give you more.”
I watched the cab pull along side of Shannon and she bent at the waist to talk to the cabby. Then she stood up looked my way, and waved to me with her middle finger extended then got into the cab.
Shaking my head I wandered back into the house and flopped down in front of the TV. Since it was Saturday there was a college football game on so I leaned back and let my mind vegetate.
After the game I popped in a frozen dinner, gave the Woof a can of beef stew and went to bed.
I was watching my neighbor nailing a sign, with the word “pervert” written on it, to my house and Woof was woofing at him because apparently that was the extent of the dog’s vocabulary. Then I realized that someone was pounding on my front door. I opened my eyes and looked at my clock. It indicated that it was eight o’clock and I assumed it was AM because it was no longer dark outside. I got out of bed and shuffled to the door in my briefs and opened it. Something blond flew by me and Dave muscled his way inside.
“What the fuck happened?” he demanded.
“She wanted to go home.”
“This is her home.” He said.
“That’s what I told her.”
“So why did she leave?”
“You’ll have to ask her that.”
Dave looked at Shannon.
“I don’t like him.” She blurted.
“How can you not like him? Hell, you don’t even know him you crazy cunt. Why don’t you like him?”
“I just don’t.” she pouted.
“Well he is your husband and this is your house. You live here NOW!”
“Do I have to fuck him? She asked defiantly.
“No, you don’t have to even touch him if you don’t want too and he won’t force himself on you. Right fuck head.”
“Right.” I echoed not knowing why I even responded to his question.
“So what do I have to do?”
“Get me a pen and paper.” Dave demanded.
I went to the phone stand and got a bic pen, a small note pad and tossed them to him.
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