Each stroke with the bamboo stick the commander placed with full force right in the middle of the udder flesh, which burst open, tore until the blood splashed. I gasped for breath like a fish in the air and tasted the iron taste of my blood. No scream, no whimpering, not even a howl or whisper did I produce. Only begging I looked into the empty eyes of the prisoners, in which I saw horniness and contempt but no pity. Every blow on my bleeding tit flesh shook me and my wounded body in silence, but I was unable to faint. When my hanging udders were only mush and the commander looked at his work with a smile, the prisoners were driven into the fields. The sun was already high in the sky again.
It was a sultry and hot day, on which luckily the sun was hiding behind high veil clouds. The soldiers cleared the place, removed the ashes from the fireplace, packed everything up and disappeared into their camp. It had been an exhausting night for them. Meanwhile I stayed nailed between the wooden scaffolding and wanted to be dead rather than alive. Mosquitoes and ants maltreated me during the day, but I didn’t notice that any more in my delirium.
When the horses and whips of the guards could be heard far away, one of the soldiers took a sponge and hose and washed the encrusted blood from my body. He did not care that he reopened many of my wounds. All he cared about was that the queue of prisoners on their way to the shelters could parade close to my scaffolding and see my broken body without a soul. I myself had to look everyone in the face from my swollen eyes and encountered looks of disgust and hatred. Like the body of a hanged man impaled on a stake outside the walls of the city, I served as a trophy for the powerful as well as a deterrent for the ruled. Some of the prisoners, when they passed by my place, still pulled up their nose and snotted in my face or at my feet. It seemed to me that if they had had their way, my body would have been desecrated and beaten even more. I was, that much was clear, even lower and more worthless than them.
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