A message came through from Thomas, this time the context of the message was not the same as usual, this was including that, BUT! This time however, Thomas suggested that the two plan to meet up and meet Face to Face finally.
Jordan closed his phone, ran to the kitchen and grabbed another beer out the fridge, took the cap off and drank the whole bottle in one quick motion.
A belch roared out of Jordan, a pant from not breathing correctly overcame him. Hands shaking, Jordan reached into the fridge and got another one and held it to his lips, turned his head and stared at his phone, unsure what emotion he was feeling in that exact moment.
A bottle of tequila were sat perfectly in Jordan’s eye line and conveniently a shot glass clean next to the bottle, Jordan did not hesitate to grab a glass and shoot down a strawberry flavoured tequila shot down this throat.
Jordan got comfortable back on the sofa, and stared for what felt hours staring at the screen. What do I say? Do I say yes? It was another fella. This is crazy! All the thoughts flashed through his mind like formula one racing cars passing on a point on the track.
Jordan agreed to meet and left his phone for the rest of the night, unsure if he should have sent it, scared of what was going to happen, what if people see him? Paranoid thoughts now started racing through.
Jordan and Thomas just eventually lost contact and did not hear from each other again.
2 years later on the same app, Thomas had appeared again as someone to decide if Jordan was interested or not.
Seeing Thomas again just brought back all of the memories from the last time they had spoken.
Part of him wanted to open the message but there was still a part of him unsure what road this lead down and what new challenges would come his way. Was it worth the risk?
Jordan replied after much temptation to not open it, but he told himself that if he was obsessing that much to NOT reply, then he clearly must have felt some attraction or connection to Thomas or why else would he be thinking about him so much why they had no communication!?
Thomas was not normally the bold type, but when he first see Jordan in his picture, he knew instantly, that was whom he wanted to be with, and he was going to do anything he could to secure that.
Thomas being braise these days, he decided to give it another shot, even thou his head was filling him with negative thoughts, making him doubt himself, he was adamant not to give up trying.
Thomas wrote out a message and then kept erasing and editing it multiple times before actually plucking up the courage and actually sending the message.
Jordan’s phone alerted him to the notification within seconds of Thomas sending.
As Jordan stared down at his phone on the counter top why he prepared himself some food. He saw it was from Thomas, Jordan’s heart began to flutter within his chest, making him go lightheaded and a sensation of euphoria, overwhelming him, it was a feeling of a wave coming over him.
It was almost comparable to that gold liquid bottle of stuff that I had been, offered in a club. It just gave me a short buzz and headache, but was fun buzz.
He opened up the message, and read what Thomas had put. Jordan, felt like his heart beat was exploding all over his body when he got to the last sentence:
“So I wondered if you fancied, giving it another go? Maybe meet somewhere you are more comfortable with if you are nervous about the idea. Leave you to your evening to mull it over. Hope to hear back from you soon, TJ x”
Jordan grabs a clean glass and poured himself a strawberry tequila, and throws it back, down his neck it went, not even touching the sides.
He turned down the hobs he was using and picked up his phone and began to reply.
“Hi TJ, yeah that sounds…” How DID it sound? Jordan thought. Even after a few years and no experience, was he ready to commit to a relationship potentially? Not just a relationship, a gay relationship with another man!
Jordan took a deep breath in.
“…Sure, sounds good to me mate, when is usually best for you?”
Almost instantly TJ replied with his preferred days, Jordan just said to leave it with him and he will check his schedule.
Again a few days before they were due to meet, plans had changed, Jordan had gotten into a relationship with someone else whom he had also been talking to alongside TJ.
Another few years passed.
New apps were coming out all the time and so Jordan found a new hook up app, so he signed up. Here he found a date. Jordan made effort and travelled down to meet them.
What a disaster that date was, wow!
Few weeks later, Jordan agreed to retry the date with the same lass again, wow the amount of sex we had was insane, 10 times in 1 night, poor lass was flat out the next day recovering from how insane it was.
This left Jordan to entertain himself in her home, so he sat downstairs and put on the television. Jordan pulled his phone out, checked his new app and just began to scroll being nosey of the people around the area.
Jordan saw that Thomas was online, as he had been popping up more frequently since he had arrived.
Jordan suddenly stopped scrolling.
There in front of him was Thomas’ picture. Just a few photos away, which if he learned how the app worked correctly meant that he was not far away.
Jordan clicked on it and it read that TJ was the closest to Jordan he ever knew, and was only just over 03 miles away.
When reflecting on this this, he felt shame and guilt come over him and cover his whole body. He began punishing himself by reminding himself that he had travelled all this was for a lass, but yet in 5 years he could not make the effort for TJ. Jordan suddenly become dumbfound as if he had just had a realisation for the first time.
If he really thought about it, Jordan was clearly scared of what others thought about his relationship choices, rather than make himself happy and potentially this was someone who would, except that he was not the usual type that Jordan would go for, it was an entirely different sex, the same sex.
Jordan this time being brave sent the first message that night.
Jordan was being so open and honest with Thomas, and yet he was not fazed that it was with another man, because Jordan did not seem to think about his gender, but just see TJ as a person ultimately.
A THIRD date was then scheduled and Jordan knew, that this, was most likely the last and only chance he had left to meet TJ, as he has cancelled so many times before.
The day had come. This was the day, the day that Jordan and Thomas would finally meet face to face. Jordan was not far away now from Thomas’ and panic and anxiety began to build.
Unbeknown to Jordan, Thomas was too anxious, and nervous, but he was happily having a glass or two of wine at home, to steady his nerves.
Jordan pulled up to the address that Thomas had given, as he started to reverse into the space, Jordan noticed in his side mirror, that TJ was stood there at his door, waving him a welcoming smile. Jordan trying to steady his breathing raised his hand and let out a forced smile.
Jordan got out the car, looked at Thomas and smiled a more relaxed, more confident smile, but his eyes gave away just how nervous he was.
Thomas invited Jordan into his home and closed the door behind him. Jordan stepped into the middle of the entrance hallway and turned to face Thomas.
Jordan just started to extend his hand when Thomas just was bold and went in for a polite kiss on the cheek, but in the cross wires, ended up kissing Jordan on his lips.
Jordan just froze in shock. Wow, he thought. That was Jordan’s first kiss with another man. It was actually quite nice, and that soft little tingle as he did, it was like little electrical pulses through his lips.
Thomas guided Jordan into the kitchen. On the side, there was two glasses.
Thomas offered Jordan a nice ice-cold glass of wine, which he got fresh out the fridge.
Jordan toasted the two of them finally meeting.
They looked each other in the eyes and clinked their glasses together.
As they toasted to the pair finally meeting, Thomas’ phone rang, it was not a call that Thomas could miss. He made his apologies and answered the apparently urgent phone call.
A woman began to speak on the other end, to which Thomas replied in the same accent and tone, NO WAY, not five minutes in to meeting and Thomas’ mother had called him.
Unaware that he was on a date, Thomas carried on talking as if nothing was going on. Thomas would on occasions, glance over to Jordan and smile. The woman on the other end of the phone could suspect that something was going on and was then probing Thomas asking him what he was hiding, to which he replied “Nothing I was just watching some kids go past the window”.
The woman never pursued it any further and took his answer as the truth, she finished off her conversation and said her goodbyes, Thomas was apologetic and explained that it was his mother and she was not aware he was on a date today. Jordan smiled and just looked at Thomas thinking how cute he thought he was and was glad to hear he had a great relationship with his mother, just as Jordan did with his.
Thomas suggested that they took their wine and go out into the garden seeing as it was a glorious, bright blue summer day. The temperature had started to cool down now, as it was 1:30pm before Jordan had arrived.
The pair sat on a swing in the garden and just talked about themselves swapping life stories, and things were really heating up between the two. A few gentle grazes passed between Thomas’ fingers and Jordan’s knee.
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