Innocence

You’re reeling from excitement as a thousand images flash through your mind all at once. Her stunningly beautiful smile weakens you, makes you remember all the good times in your life as though they happened yesterday.

Every time you think and every time you feel, she’s on your mind, in your heart and everywhere else under your skin. She’s your world. Your heart flutters every time you look at the girl and you don’t know why, you just tell yourself it’s a harmless little crush… well, maybe more than just a little, right?

But most definitely harmless!

It’s not so naive for a nineteen year-old not to have seen the signs. She’s the same age. Life isn’t so serious. There’s still so much innocence to lose.

You haven’t noticed just how close she is to you until you feel like you’ve been best friends for an eternity and endured the world a lifetime together. Your friendship is an unbreakable bond and still you are both yet so young and fragile.

No boy matters to her, you are her world. You go everywhere together and do practically everything together and, do you know what? You know you will never grow tired or bored of each other because some magical thing, some unexplained force, a secret, invisible and intangible presence between you just never allows it.

You look at her when she looks away and feel safe in knowing that way you won’t drown in those ocean blue eyes of hers that you adore so much.

You examine with awe the texture and complexion of her skin, the dimple of her cheek when she smiles and the fullness — almost the robustness — of her soft young lips.

When she draws back her long chestnut hair back behind her ear, you wonder at the sight of it and you just want to nibble on it and to make her giggle the way she does when you tickle her in any other way.

She looks back and knowing that to turn away now, you would not only give away the hiding game, you would show uncertainty and you know that the one thing you aren’t is uncertain. Your heart is spilling over with love…

So you feign a friendly little smile and she smiles back, only in her eyes you see something has gotten lost along the way. She feels the same way about you and you know it. Every time she touches you, whether it be a hand on your forearm or when she plays with your hair, desire fizzes up from the deepest reaches and tingles in your skin, dying to touch her in return.

You drop the smile, you know it’s no use pretending anymore, and then seeing the curves fading from the corners of your mouth, her smile fades too. She asks what’s wrong and you tell her in the only way that can describe what words can’t…

Your lips part just a fraction as they meet hers and her eyes have closed, then so do yours. The light shut out, the outside world removed from your senses, all you feel is the rabbit-like speeding of your heart, thumping away as your lips synch and part from each other with just a little moist reminder.

‘Wow!’ she exclaims and you giggle, apologising for not knowing what came over you so suddenly. Then she tells you, ‘it’s about time,’ giggles back and returns the sentiment, cuddling up close, pressing her warm, lithe body against yours and begins to kiss you slowly, softly and with careful passion.

Her hand strokes your face, fingers combing easily through your hair and comes to rest at your temple where her thumb strokes your brow. You look at each other like lovers that have been separated for an eternity and the release you feel inside feels like it might just bubble over.

Your feelings, the sensations of her touching you this way, of you being able finally to touch her and show her your true nature; they are turning oh so slowly from a virginal love to something else not quite darker but deeper, intensified by an underlying lust unsatisfied for too long.

The way her soft ample breast feels in your hand as her hardening pink nipple strains out through her vest against your palm, the way her heaving ribs press against yours in her heavy breathing as your kiss becomes hungry and playful, it feels like you’re in sight of heaven only moments before death.

The excitement rises within you both. Your bodies becoming an entangled mess of perspiring limbs and seeming miles of soft naked flesh, you ask her to help take off your vest and as you straddle her lap, sitting on top of her, you’re suddenly assaulted with a barrage of delicious sensations as she hungrily kisses and sucks at your own nipples and traces a wet track of nibbles and smooches down to your bellybutton.

It takes your breath away and causes you to gasp with shocked delight like falling out of your boat and into a shallow lake on a hot summer day. It excites you but scares you, the hunger in her excitement for your half-naked body.

She has one thing on her mind and just as she reaches for your belt buckle with her right hand, her left goes straight for the seat of your jeans and you jump with surprise, as is suddenly startling yourself out of a dream.

She looks up at you and comes back to her own reality. You have never gone this far before, have you?

She sees the look of uncertainty on your face and it hurts her, almost brings tears to her eyes.

That is when you know she has so much love for you that she would never have wanted to hurt you. In your moment of awakening you run your fingers in a line up both of her forearms, biting your lip uncontrollably with the pure sexual tension you’re feeling between you and her. It feels like a tornado of butterflies and yet again, the touch of your skin against hers is electrical. If you scraped along her flesh with your nails, you imagine it could cause sparks but you don’t.

She needs to know, she needs to know she won’t hurt you by expressing how she wants you and so you lean forward, trapping her playfully on either side with your arms holding you up from the bed. You kiss her right back, once again, and your tongue flexes loosely against her smiling white teeth and then tickles the tip of her tongue.

You roll over, letting her take control once more and she sits on top of you, beaming a brilliant and beautiful smile, the smile that made you fall in love with her long ago. If only this had happened sooner. She peels off her own top, exposing her tight, smooth body for your hands to explore gloriously and she feels perfect to your touch.

She bends down, again cups your face in her hands and entices you into a long, slow but deepening kiss and you imagine as your senses go into overdrive where on Earth that beautifully talented tongue of hers will end up next. She breaks the kiss, licking her lips and so do you.

You both savour the taste of each other, looking eye to eye from only inches apart and searching each other’s souls with a longing you’ve never felt before in your young and beautiful life.

You want her to take you back to the dream that you were so suddenly awoken from, to feel everything in slow motion and to feel the warm buzz of pleasure so unlike anything else in reality.

You’re dying for her touch and feel like you might die without it and so knowingly she does begin to touch you the way you want her to; gently relaxing her hand and slipping it between your ticklish bare flesh and your jeans, reaching to the core of your maddening excitement!

And it is then that she whispers in your ear-

‘So, you’ve never been with another girl?’