He assured me that it would be all right and I kissed him which he took (correctly) that I wanted to proceed. We continued kissing and touching for probably ten minutes or so before he stopped, stood up, and held out his hand. I took hold of him and he pulled me up and escorted me to his bedroom. It was dark by now so he turned on a little lamp that had a low wattage bulb which gave us just enough light to see each other. I was actually grateful for this light because I was feeling terribly shy about Hans seeing me naked and didn’t want the full exposure of a well lit room to make him take one good look at me and run away.
I actually laugh when I think of this today. My photographs of myself during that time show a young lady who had a great looking body. I wish I could have that same body today; however, the men who see my 50-year old bodies today don’t complain and seemed turned on by what they see. I really didn’t have anything to fear and know today that Hans was probably very stimulated to see my naked 20-year old body ready to receive his body.
Hans disrobed me slowly until I stood there in just my panties. I felt very embarrassed but Hans reassured me that I looked beautiful and he then took of his clothing off and I didn’t feel so self-conscious after that. But I was afraid to look down at his penis, so I kept eye contact with him. I don’t know why I didn’t want to look at his unseen manhood since, very soon, it was going to be inside me. I suppose it was the terror I was feeling mixed with this new feeling of sexual arousal.
He took me into his arms and I felt the bulge of his penis push against my stomach. At first I was shocked and almost pulled back, but I calmed myself and soon got used to the feeling of a naked penis actually touching my bare skin.
Hans began to kiss me and I felt his hands go to my panties and begin to slide them off of me. I helped him and soon I was also completely naked before him. We sat down on the bed and kissed for a few minutes before he got me onto my back where he could have full access to my entire front area. I then looked down and for the first time I caught a glimpse of an adult’s penis for the first time.
It looked big and mean and immediately began to have doubts on whether or not I would be able to get that thing inside of me. I again laugh at myself at how naive I was at the time. I suppose for a girl that had never seen a real adult penis up close then the first one would seem like a monster to anyone. Today, I’d describe it as quite average looking. It was circumcised and probably no more than six-inches long (I believe a little under six inches is the normal size for adult males — don’t believe all the hype about sizes) and I was able to put my fingers around it.
I’m actually thankful that he was of normal size and not someone that was larger or thicker. This was bad enough that I was going to have that inside of me, make it any bigger and I’d probably have run away in terror.
Hans and I continued to kiss, touch, and cuddle each other on the bed. When he began to kiss and suck my breasts, the feeling of pleasure started to return to me as my shyness fled. This pleasure of Hans sucking my breasts was so new to me, so intense, that I wondered if I was having an orgasm as described in various books I’ve read. I turned out not to be the case but it sure did feel good. I was actually beginning to yearn for intercourse because if Hans sucking my breasts felt this good, I reasoned that a penis inside of me could only send me to heaven.
He then stopped sucking my breast and started to move down my body, kissing as he went. The pleasure wasn’t as intense, but it still felt good. However, he began to get nearer and nearer to my vagina, and I had no idea what he was going to do once he reached it. Slowly I felt him getting lower and lower as he took his time kissing and sucking me.
When he arrived at my vagina hair line I almost stopped breathing in anticipation. “What was he going to do?” I thought. I didn’t have to wait long as I felt the first lick of his tongue between my legs.
I almost couldn’t stand it. I was being licked by a man on my most private of areas and it had sent a bolt of pleasure through my entire body. I didn’t know what he was doing but I wanted more. He soon began to lick, kiss, and suck me between the legs and for the first time I began to actually lose myself in what he was doing. Hans was licking a far more sensitive area than my breasts and I was almost beginning to pant. Hans continued licking and kissing the area and when he began to focus on one spot in particular (the clitoris) I almost couldn’t contain myself.
I didn’t know what was happening to me as feelings of something good began building up within me. It was like a great pressure of something building up somewhere in my body. I can only compare it to a wave that was approaching and getting bigger as it got nearer. Hans must have known by my body’s reaction that I was getting near an orgasm and he continued to do his thing to my clitoris. Then the wave of my very first orgasm hit me.
I can see why the French call the orgasm “La Petite Mort” or “little death.” I could have been dying at that moment and wouldn’t have cared one bit. I was in a totally different world as this pleasure swept over me. I don’t remember if I made any sex noises (I probably did) but as the wave of pleasure was sweeping over me I felt pure ecstasy. I had my eyes closed tightly and could see spots of white flashing within my head. As the pleasure wave slowly subsided and went away I was totally exhausted and spent. My brain felt like electricity was fluttering around inside and I couldn’t talk. I don’t even remember what Hans was doing, if anything. He probably was sitting back watching me in wonderment.
When I had recovered enough he asked me if I was all right and I smiled as I told him that I was fine. He hovered over me and began rubbing my breasts, but after my first orgasm the small pleasure of having my breast touched hardly even register. It was like eating an orange after finishing a bag of candy. No matter how sweet the orange is you aren’t going to taste it after the candy.
Hans then asked me if I was on any birth control. I told him I wasn’t, even though I was taking birth control pills for a medical issue, but didn’t connect it to actual birth control. He asked me when I was due for my period and I had to sit and think and I realized that I didn’t know at the moment (the orgasm had really scrambled my brain) but took a stab at it and gave him a date. He did some figuring and told me that I was safe and proceeded to part my legs and mount me.
Today, I’d never allow a man to enter me with such flimsy calculations, but I was young and stupid and thank God I actually was on birth control. I didn’t argue with him and wondered if actual sex would be any better than what I just had. I was excited to find out. Hans took some lubricant from his night stand drawer and spread it around his penis and then put a few squirts between my legs before getting into position. I was on my back with Hans on top of me between my legs. I could feel his penis poking around my entrance but not able to get in. Hans had to pull back, take hold of his penis, and place it at my entrance. He repositioned himself on top of me and I felt his penis trying to push inside of me.
He managed to get his tip inside of me before I screamed in pain. It hurt like hell and it surprised me. It wasn’t supposed to hurt, was it? Hans pulled back out and apologized and put some more lubricant onto his penis and a more generous helping at my entrance and tried again. The pain came back as he began to push again. As I felt him go in a bit deeper I felt a tearing sensation between my legs, and I was suddenly fearful for my health and safety.
Hans assured me that it was all right, that he was just breaking through my hymen. I had heard of that and knew that it did indeed have to be broken and could cause some pain and bleeding. Only because of this did I let Hans proceed. I also didn’t want to leave his apartment still a virgin. If I went this far I needed to complete it. The pain continued as Hans pushed in deeper and I had to really control myself from crying out in pain. Finally Hans stopped and remained motionless. He told me that he had pushed in as far as he could go and asked how I felt. I told him that it still hurt but the pain was subsiding and asked him not to move for a little while. Hans remained motionless above me until the pain was pretty much gone.
When he felt me relax he started moving a little bit and the pain came back, but not as intense. The more he moved the lesser the pain until he was able to move freely inside of me without much discomfort. I had done it! I was no longer a virgin. A man was inside of me and I was obviously giving him pleasure if the noise Hans was making was any indication that he was feeling good.
He lasted for maybe five-minutes when he told me that he was coming. I didn’t really understand what he meant by “coming” but when I heard him grunting and giving me shallow thrusts instead of the longer, deeper ones, I knew something was up. His thrusting slowed until he had fully stopped and I heard his heavy panting near my ear.
He pulled out of me and collapsed onto his back next to me. He apologized that he had caused me pain but hoped that I had enjoyed my first time. I had to be honest with myself that even though the pleasure of my orgasm was very intense, the pain from intercourse seemed to cancel all that out.
I didn’t tell Hans this but instead that it had been wonderful for me which seemed to make him happy. Suddenly I realized that I was oozing out a liquid from between my legs. I excused myself and went to the bathroom and saw what I could only describe as an “ooze” was dribbling out of me. I then put two and two together and realized that this was Hans’s sperm.
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