Carlos began getting dressed. He needed to get to a friend’s house to borrow a phone. We were too poor and didn’t have that luxury. He hurried out as soon as he was dressed.
Uncle Enrico was speechless when he arrived and heard what I had done.
“My God, child, what were you thinking?” he said.
I had shed enough tears that evening to last my lifetime. The horror I had brought down on us all would be the end of everything I had ever known. Uncle Enrico paced the floor. He was shaking his head, trying to devise some way. He hadn’t seen what they had done to me, and Momma’s pleas for returning it fell on deaf ears. I had never seen Uncle Enrico so upset. Finally, he grabbed Momma and sternly held her arms to her sides.
“Mija,” They will kill us if we try to return it, don’t you understand this? We have very little time. We must leave. We must all leave. They will hunt each of us down and kill every one of us. “We have to leave here now.” His words didn’t register at first.
“For how long?” I asked, sounding dumb.
“Forever” was his stern answer. “Pack, pack quickly.” Now! “And take only what you need; hurry!”
How does someone tell you something like, “Just leave your life?” My world was changing right then, in the early morning hours of that day. Things would be different from all that I knew from now on.
We loaded up Uncle Enrico’s work van with every scrap of our small lives. We had to disappear forever. We traveled quietly through the night to an old warehouse that Uncle Enrico had rented for the tools and materials he used in his business. I had assumed we would go to his house at least until morning, and I was foolish enough to ask. My world continued to crash down around me as he looked at me with disbelief in his face.
“I have to disappear also.” “They will kill every one of us, my family as well!” “Don’t you understand this either?”
I felt so guilty and terrified at what I had done to the ones that I loved so much. Uncle Enrico left to rescue his family. Everything they knew and loved was going to be ripped from them that morning, too. I couldn’t deal with it anymore, and so I slept.
I awoke to the sounds of Momma talking. My aunt Sofia and my cousin Luis were there. I didn’t see Uncle Enrico anywhere. Carlos was eating some food that someone had brought in. As I began to stir, my body reminded me immediately of the abuse I had suffered the night before.
My legs still ached, and my breasts were extremely tender. Momma came over with a small glass of juice which I tried to drink in small sips. Aunt Sofia was just staring at me. I knew she hated me in that moment. I felt like shit for having destroyed their lives too. Cousin Luis came over to me and began to hug me. I winced from the pain. My breasts felt as if they had been treated like punching bags.
“I am so sorry,” was all I could say, “so very sorry.”
After a little bit, Uncle Enrico showed up driving a rental truck. It dawned on me that all worldly possessions from both families had to go with us. Aunt Theresa, his sister, was with him. He must have driven across town to bring her into hiding, too. I guessed that everything she owned was also in the back of the truck.
This was crushing my spirit; just how many lives had I destroyed last night? And after Theresa fed me and housed me for all that time, Uncle Enrico came over and handed me a wrapped sandwich. He touched my head in a loving gesture. I felt so horrible. I knew they were all hating on me for causing all of this. The adults were discussing various options and plans. Both Aunt Sophia and Momma cried several times. The voices got louder, and then urgent whispering went on. Luis was called in, and they listened to his opinions. I just sat quietly on some boxes nearby. My knees were drawn up, and I just stayed that way. I wouldn’t have had the nerve to offer any suggestions. After what seemed like hours, Uncle Enrico called Carlos and me over to where they were talking this all out.
I guessed that some decision had been reached and agreed upon. Momma and Aunt Sofia were still sobbing. Aunt Theresa just sat there expressionless. I think she was just in shock. Carlos and I walked over. I gave Momma, Sofia, and Aunt Theresa a gentle hug. They each patted my arm softly.
I have always trusted Uncle Enrico. He was a man of the world. He knew things. He had spent his life dealing with issues surrounding his situation. Raising a family here was a challenge, and he was an honest, common-sense man.
“Okay,” he finally said, “This is where we stand.” “Maria, the problem is this,” he said, holding up a package of the dope. “This is not the gang’s property; it is Sinaloa,” he said in almost a whisper.
“See here; look at these markings.” “I know of these people.”
I had also heard the name before.
“The Sinaloa cartel will kill for this.” “All hell is about to break loose, Maria,” he said, looking very grim. “The Sinaloa cartel is absolutely ruthless.” “They will not only kill us but even people we know.” “Torture is their specialty.” “There is over half a million dollars in that bag, and this heroin you took is worth at least that much.”
“Six hundred twenty-five thousand,” corrected Carlos.
My brother had been passing the time by counting the money. He had been quietly arranging the stacks of bills in piles on the floor. Uncle Enrico looked me square in the eye and said,
“Congratulations, young lady; you may have just fulfilled your papa’s wish.”
“The cartel will exact a terrible revenge on the Barrio 18 gang.” “They may kill or torture every last one of them.” “The smart ones should disappear; the stupid ones and their families will likely die in a most horrible way,” he said.
“We will survive,” he repeated, trying to convince himself and us.
“We must survive.”
Chapter 3
The plan was difficult. We had to split up. Uncle Enrico said they would be looking for us all together, so we stood a better chance by dividing into two groups. I was hearing the words, but the details were a blur. Luis would go with Carlos and me, and we would take the drugs and some cash and make our way to the United States border. We could not afford to be stopped by the authorities because the cartel owned most of them.
Momma, Sofia, Theresa, and Uncle Enrico would head west, then north, along the west coast. It was better not to know each other’s exact route. They could not be carrying any of the drugs because they would pass checkpoints and borders. Luis, Carlos, and I would travel the route by rail, like most of the poor single immigrants. There was less chance of us being stopped if we mixed in with the crowd.
Luis and Carlos knew of web sites on social media where we could make contact with our parents once we were at the border or had even made it across. They wrote these down and agreed on false names to identify ourselves to each other. They explained to Uncle Enrico that public libraries had access to the internet. We would try to leave messages, if possible, along the way. Luis warned them against using any cell phones, as these can be tracked. The reach of the cartel was everywhere.
We all lent a hand packing what would be carried in the back of the truck, but how do you stuff three families’ entire lives into a small truck? I felt so miserable. I had destroyed everything my Uncle and Aunts had built, and Momma too. Each time I picked up a photograph frame or personal memento, tears began to flow down my face. Uncle Enrico was busy attending to the details of our journey. He looked over and saw my face. He walked up to me and gently pulled my head against his chest. He rubbed my shoulder and walked me away from the truck. We walked over to a quiet corner. He pushed me down onto a little wooden box. He squatted down right in front of me, cupped my face, and lifted my chin. I looked right into his dark eyes.
“Maria, this can be a new start for all of our lives,” he said softly.
“We all love you and understand what you went through.”
Yes, they were all upset at first, but they knew I wasn’t to blame for the gang’s presence. Uncle Enrico went on to explain that life wasn’t good for his family either. The gang’s extortion demands were bleeding him financially. He had to pay extortion to live and work each time in the neighborhood. He was also about to lose his home. He hated the way things had become. He held my face up and forced my gaze.
“You have given us a chance at a better life, Maria.” “We just need to work together to make this happen.”
“I love you all so very much,” was all I could think to say.
I resolved right then to do whatever would be necessary to see that we would all be together again and in a better place. Uncle Enrico felt that we could spare no time and that we needed to get moving immediately. We couldn’t be sure how long it would be before the gang realized the drugs and money were missing. Once they discovered it, they would fan out, frantically searching for us themselves. They could only delay the cartel so long before it became obvious they had lost both the money and the drugs. Eventually, though, the cartel would learn the truth, and the vengeance would begin.
Hopefully, the cartel would think one of the gang had taken it at first. It might take the torture and killing of every last gang member for them to learn the truth. Momma hated the idea of bringing the drugs. She abhorred the drug trade, but Luis convinced us. It could be used to buy our way through to the border. And it would be an admission of my guilt to leave it behind. Certainly the cash would be necessary to pay our way as well.
Yes, running made us look guilty, but to stay was certain death. The gang would pay for their stupidity as an example to other gangs. The cartel would then come after us. So, we needed to be ahead of them—faster and farther than they would ever look. Getting out and away from San Pedro Sula would be the most dangerous part. If the gang hadn’t discovered the theft, we had a good chance. Otherwise, they would be waiting for us. We dare not go back to any place the gang might be waiting.
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