My downward spiral to a becoming a slut Chapter 7 – Rape by brokenwing

When she had the bathtub ready Elizabeth came back into the room to get me. “Let me take you to the hospital,” she said adding, “Please!” I shook my head no and set the ice packs down. She helped me to my feet and slowly started to undress me. She was careful and I think made it hurt as little as it could. She gasped when she took off my bra and saw the red bite mark on my breast. And then again when she got my skirt off and saw the bruise inside my thigh. She started helping me walk to her bathroom and said one last time, “Tori, this is a bad idea I should be taking you to a hospital.” But I kept walking to the bathroom and she proved she was what I was then realizing a true friend and helped me into the bathroom. Slowly I sat on the edge of the tub and she helped me move my legs over into the water. Then I slowly sank into the tub as I made it to the bottom I looked up at her and she was crying. I reached up to her and rubbed my thumb on her hand. Through all of this I knew she was my best friend.

I sat in the tub for a long time soaking wanting to wash away the filth. The word he said to me over and over echoed in my mind, “Slut.” And I felt so much like that word. I hurt so much all over and I could see in Elizabeth’s eyes the shock of seeing the marks on my body. I tried not to look in her eyes too much as she was fighting her own tears and I knew if I looked into her eyes I might break down myself. Right now I was feeling numb and that felt like the safest feeling. She stepped out of the bathroom for a while and came back with sweats and panties and a sports bra. I sat in the tub until the water began to get cold and finally pulled the drain then let her help me out. She dried me off so I wouldn’t have to bend around and I appreciated that. She then helped me dress.

After we came out of the bathroom I asked her could I spend the night with her and she agreed and I then called home. I had to put on a happy voice and did. I mouthed at her “win” as a question and she nodded so I told my mother we were celebrating the win and asked could I spend the night. Mom asked to speak to Elizabeth and I put her on the phone. I watched Elizabeth and she put on a temporary happy face and answered my mom’s questions I’m sure verifying that I was really spending the night with her. Rather then being upset with my mom for checking on me I felt happy that she cared. Elizabeth handed me back the phone and mom told me it was okay and asked when I’d be home and I told her I would be there before dinner tomorrow.

I sighed in relief when I was able to hang up the phone. I gave Elizabeth a gentle hug and let out a gasp of relief until it hurt in my ribs. Elizabeth then turned her bed down and helped me get up and walk to sit on the side of the bed and then to lie down. She helped me get my feet under the covers and then turned the lights off except for one next to her side of the bed. She then changed in a pretty black teddy and got into bed too. She turned out the lights and lay down. She took hold of my hand and said, “I’m here if you need me for anything, okay?” “Okay,” I replied knowing the lights were off.

I tried to put it out of my mind but couldn’t. I couldn’t forget the violence, the assault, the r. . . . I couldn’t even think that word. What had I become?

To be continued.