One Night Ch. 01-02

Literotic asexstories – One Night Ch. 01-02 by TheDarkAngel13,TheDarkAngel13
* O N E * N I G H T *

Part 1: How It All Began

December 10th 2006

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{Author’s note: The first part of this story 1000F0000% true with only names changed. With the beginning of chapter two, we enter my fantasy of what life would be like if “Jake” loved me back. I began writing this story over 4 years ago; I met him 6 years ago; told him how I felt 5 years ago… I am still as in love with him now as I was back then. We’re good friends and care a lot for each other. I hope this story makes you happy, imagining true love coming to life. Also, if there are any typos or bizarre words, it’s because I used find/replace to “change” our names, so something might be out of place. Everything, for the most part, should be in order, though. Please enjoy and comment.}

To be with him.

That was my deepest desire, my most secret hope and my most impossible dream.

His name was Jake and he was one year, one month and one day older than me. He had dark brown hair that he liked to keep a little shaggy and cute, nerdy glasses; his eyes—huge and a shining, chestnut brown—were the most beautiful I had ever seen; he wore band and cartoon themed t-shirts and baggy jeans; he was just a shade shorter than myself, but what little he lacked in height he more than made up for in personality. He was smart, funny and, when he wanted to be, unbelievably kind. Part of what attracted me to him was the fact that he was just a little bit fruity. He had the vibe of a gay or bi boy; he giggled instead of laughed, had feminine gestures and grew his nails so they were longer than most girls, but kept them neat-looking and pretty. My weak spot, it turns out is semi-homosexual guys… Who’d have thought?

I met him at the video and anime store he worked at. I started going there in June of 2005. At the time, I was not what most guys considered attractive: 5’3″, 187 lbs, and not exactly beautiful.

But Jake didn’t seem to mind the fact that there were far prettier girls out there than me. He made me laugh; he said nice things about my drawings and started showing me his art. We both liked anime, so we drew each other pictures of our favorite characters. He made me feel like I was so much more than I had always thought I was.

Around guys, I had always been so shy: I got very nervous around them, I had trouble making conversation and I was completely unable to make eye contact. But somehow, Jake was different. He made me feel comfortable and I was a different person around him.

In August of 2005, I got tired of hoping for him and dreaming about him, so I decided to do something about the fact that I didn’t think I was pretty enough for a guy as good-looking as Jake. I started eating less, snacking only on yogurt and fruit, and doing sit-ups, push-ups and yoga stretches. I practically starved myself and my mother, a sugar and caffeine addict, kept trying to cram candy and ice cream down my throat, so I was lucky I survived.

But despite it all, I managed to lose about 43 pounds, reaching my current weight of 145. I went from a size 17 jeans to a 7—five whole sizes. Even my rings and shoes were too big for me.

People, men especially, started looking at me differently. I took better care of my face, hair and nails, bought nicer clothes, even a new swim suit and a miniskirt, and realized that I was beautiful. Perhaps even beautiful enough for Jake…

So, after an entire year of smiling, laughing, sharing artwork, free sodas from the store machine and letting me pick my prize in the store’s “$1 Dice Roll,” I finally decided to tell Jake how I felt about him. With the urging of my sister and cousin (ages 13 and 10 at the time, respectively), I cornered Jake on the first of July.

To my horror, he told me he didn’t like me, or any of the many other girls who apparently were in love with him. He liked being alone and miserable—he deserved to be alone. He wasn’t worth my time, he was cold and selfish, he didn’t want to be a burden on other people, he was a bad soul—a bad person…

Oh how devastated I was. But I picked myself up. I refused to be sad about it, mostly because I felt too bad for Jake hating himself to feel sorry for myself.

But when I went back to see him later, he was cold to me. This hurt me because he himself had requested that we remain friends. Why was he being so mean? He said it was all cool.

But eventually, he warmed back up to me after my fuck-up. He smiled at me again… like he did back when out friendship was new. He laughed and joked with me. He even told me he liked my new shade of hair color—deep red, like the X-Men character he adored, Phoenix.

I never stopped feeling that way for him, even though we were—and could only ever be—good friends. When I looked at him, listened to his voice, was close to him, I felt like I was at home. He just made me feel… well, to use an old cliché… right.

In mid December, he started telling me about his new apartment, located right behind the mall that he worked at. Jokingly, I looked at my sister, who was with me, and said, “Sweet. Now all we need is someone who can find us some drugs and we can have one helluva party!”

I don’t know why, or how, but somehow, Jake took my joke a little too seriously. His face took on the puppy-dog look he often gave without him, I suppose, even realizing it.

“Well, we’re having a New Year’s party there… Ya’ll are welcome to come if you like,” he muttered, looking as if he thought we would turn him down.

I paused, taking a moment to realize what he meant. Then, wide-eyed, I said, “Did—did we just get invited to… a… a party?”

“Well, only if you wanna. It’s nothing. You don’t have to go…”

I left that day feeling like I had accidentally stumbled upon the secret of happiness. I had gotten invited to Jake’s house! I would get to be near him in a social setting, drink from his fridge, talk to him without having to worry about getting home…

The only problem lay in how I could get to his house on New Year’s Eve. I had no driver’s license and my family lived a good hour’s drive from the mall and Jake’s place. What would my mother say?

I realized that I didn’t care.

I decided I would bum a ride from my friend, Lily. She had a car and was willing to pick me up at my house and drive me all the way into town to drop me off. She even said she could pick me up whenever I needed her; she usually didn’t go to bed until around three in the morning, anyway…

* O N E * N I G H T *

Part 2: A Very Happy New Year

December 10th, 11th & 12th 2006

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Author’s note: at this point, the story switches from complete fact to complete fiction.

(December)

At a quarter to eleven on Sunday night, I stood before Jake’s door, my heart beating so rapidly in my chest that I thought it might explode and kill me. I was dressed in my cutest, tightest jeans and a soft black t-shirt bearing the glittering words “I WISH I WAS A ROCK STAR” across the chest.

I knocked, terrified of what may happen.

After a seemingly eternal wait, the door opened and I saw his beautiful face peek out at me.

“Hi,” I said, feeling the heat on my cheeks.

“Sam,” he sighed, smiling as he opened the door to let me in. “Come inside…”

I stepped inside the small but neat space and turned to look back at him as he locked the door. A long-haired calico kitty mewed at me from a wide opening to the right that was probably the kitchen. All pretenses abandoned, I threw my arms around Jake’s neck and hugged him like we were best friends.

“What was that for?” he asked, feigning shock.

“I just felt like it…”

He smiled and led me into the living room where I expected other people to be seated, chatting and drinking soda or beer.

“Where is everybody?” I asked, looking around the space.

“Sam,” said Jake, stepping around so he was facing me, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before, but…”

“But?” I prompted, feeling a twinge of unease, but also a thrill of unprecedented hope.

“Sit down, please, Sam,” he asked, gesturing to the tan garage-sale sofa. I did as he asked and he sat beside me, saying, “I’m not really having a party. I was just desperately hoping for a way to be alone with you for a while. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for so long, but I was afraid…”

“Jake, you could have called me anytime,” I deadpanned, still not forgetting the time he asked me for my phone number but never called me.

“I know and I hate myself for fucking with you all those times. When you told me you liked me nearly six months ago, I thought the world had ended…”

“Make sense, please,” I begged, staring at him in confusion.

“Sam, I have always liked you. Always,” he sighed, defeated. “But I could never tell you because I know you’re too good for me. I adore you, think you’re the most awesome girl I have ever met, but I didn’t want to tell you I cared about you because I thought if I did, we’d end up dating and I would break your heart ’cause I’m such a screw-up. But I’ve been thinking… and talking to some people who mean a lot to me, and I’ve realized that if you like me as much as I know I like you, then maybe, it’s worth the chance that we can be happy together…”

As I listened to what he said, I couldn’t believe it. My heart started beating against my ribs like a caged animal trying to escape and my breath slipped from my lungs. I cared about you…

“Jake,” I whimpered, overwhelmed, “I—I love you, I’ve been in love with you for so long and you actually… you’re interested?”

Shaking his head in frustration, Jake said, “I’m not sure if what I feel is love, Sam, but it is so much more powerful than anything I have ever felt in my entire life… I asked you here tonight in the pathetic hope that I could ask you to be my girlfriend. I’m frightened by how I feel for you and how good it feels when I talk to you, when I’m near you. You look at me and I feel right. You talk to me and I feel like I’m worthy. You smile at me and everything else just goes away. You know all those times you thought I was being cold ’cause I sort of ignored you?”

“Yeah…”

“Those were days when either I had woken up from a spectacular dream of you and was pissed at myself for it or was feeling depressed over something stupid. Don’t ever think for a second that I ever stopped caring about you. I’d rather die than hurt you. Believe me, that’s the main reason I never said anything before now…”

“Was there something in particular that convinced you to change your mind?” I asked, holding back tears of joy. “Or you just finally let the overwhelming evidence that I was crazy about you sink in?”

“A couple weeks ago,” he said, grinning, “you offered to share the money you got on your birthday with me. Do you realize how much that small gesture would mean to a poor boy like me?”

“Honey, my family was always poor. Sharing was sometimes the only way to survive,” I said, shrugging.

“But Sam, no one had ever offered to share anything with me. Looking back, all you ever did was share with me. You offered me food, drinks, cards, drawings… You offered me your love and I was too foolish to take it…”

“Jake,” I whispered, reaching across his lap to take his hands in mine, “all I have ever wanted is you. I love you—even if you don’t want me to… I want you to love me like this. I want you to look at me and feel this overwhelming desire, this deep, aching affection that I feel for you every waking moment. Do you know how many nights I have dreamed about you? More than I can count, honey…”

Jake stared down at my hands as they clutched his. I looked up at him and saw the sadness in his eyes as he stared.

“Why do you look so sad, hon? We can be so happy…”

“Sam, I have wasted my life doing things that mean nothing to me. The job I have, I get treated like crap… All the girls I have ever been with, they never really cared about me, or I them, admittedly. But for some reason, the fact that the last two decades have been wasted means almost nothing now, simply because you are here with me… Does that make any fucking sense?”

Leaning down to lay my head on his shoulder, I smiled and said, “It makes perfect sense. I adore you, Jake. I just wanna be here with you tonight. It means the world that, of all the women who adore you, you fell in love with me. I want to give you everything I have ever had to give, if only you would let me love you the way I need to.”

“God,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he rested his head on mine, “it feels so good to feel you here, laying on me like this…”

“Jake, can I kiss you?”

“What?”

“I know that it’s sudden, but you know me, I’ve lived such a sheltered life and, well… I’ve never been kissed before.”

Jake sat up and looked around the room, his eyes settling on the clock where it read 11:04 P.M. He slowly smiled and said, “So I guess you’ve never kissed at midnight on New Year’s either?”

Feeling my heart rate pick back up, I shook my head and said, “Nope. I always hated New Year’s ’cause it seemed like one more year had been shaved off my life. I’m always one year closer to death but no closer to happiness. Besides the fact that I wanted to be with you, I came here tonight so that I wouldn’t have to sit out in the cold, alone, being all emo and wallowing in my own misery. I would love to kiss you at midnight, honey…”

Jake smiled, looking down at me beside him, and said, “Can I just lay here on the couch and hold you ’til then? I didn’t actually think this would work out, so I have no idea what to do now.”

I grinned and sat up, brushing his unkempt bangs back from his beautiful eyes and said, “I think that would be the perfect way to kill the hour. I’ve always wanted to feel you holding me…”

We stared at each other for a long, beautiful moment, but my stomach growled, breaking the peaceful silence.

“Sorry,” I muttered, embarrassed.

“Don’t be. I’m starving. I forgot about dinner, actually… Can I fix you something?”

“Let’s see,” I said, following him to the kitchen. “I can make us some sandwiches, if you have makings.”

“Hmm, well, I did buy some bread the other day, so that might work. I’m sorry I don’t have mayonnaise,” he said, bending over and looking in the refrigerator. “You know I hate it…”

At that moment, my eyes drifted down the backside of his jeans and I blushed, never being the kind to stare at people’s butts before. But somehow, I couldn’t help but look at Jake that way. I felt a heavy rush of something I had forgotten about deep in my belly and I suddenly wondered where the night might lead.

Turning around, Jake caught my odd stare and grinned, saying, “I have some turkey here… Wait… were you just staring at my ass?”

Still blushing, I nodded, feeling very stupid.

“S’okay… Can I look at yours in return?” he asked, playfully poking me in the arm.

I sighed in relief. Jake always had such an amazing sense of humor, so he never let anything bother him. Giggling, I turned around, briefly giving him a view of what my very tight jeans covered.

“Sweet,” he said, giving my rear a playful smack.

“You’re evil,” I said, grinning as I took the sandwich makings from him.

“But you love me anyway,” he said, smiling at me across the counter like I was the light of his life.

“You like mustard?” I asked, pretending to ignore him.

“Mustard, please, but no pickles. I see your hand keeps reaching for them…”

“Me likes the pickles,” I said, popping one into my mouth.

I glanced up as I did this and saw a look in Jake’s eye. I grinned and very slowly put another slice between my lips, taking a long moment to lick the juice off my fingertips. A flush slowly crept into his face, but other than that, he made no attempts at a response.

After our supper of cold sandwiches and Dr. Pepper, Jake sat down on the sofa, motioning for me to sit on his lap. Giggling, I did so and he put his arms around me, falling back and holding me there on his belly.

Very comfortable, we laid there for so long, listening to the local alt-rock station and talking. I sighed as I felt his strong, warm arms around me, holding me so close. He very briefly brushed his lips across the top of my head and I knew I would never love another human being the way I loved him.

“Oh, this is my favorite song,” I moaned as Green Day’s “When I Come Around” played over the speakers.

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. This is the song Lane, Maria and I play all the time together. It’s so beautiful. You have no idea what it’s like… That thrill of standing there, guitar in hand, and actually playing your favorite song with other people! It’s beyond description.”

“I’ll bet… What other songs do you like?” Jake asked, showing genuine curiosity.

“Stevie’s cut of ‘Little Wing’ and a helluva lot of other Green Day tunes. Also, my friend Pauline has a lot of great songs. I adore Fall Out Boy and Barenaked Ladies, Brad Paisley and The Killers, Pearl Jam and Death Cab For Cutie, Blink-182 and Ozzy, Weezer and My Chemical Romance, Blue October and Kevin Fowler, Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins, System Of A Down and Sublime…” I said, ticking each one off on my fingers. “Music is my life, Jake. Until I met you, it was all that kept me alive.”

“Wow, Sam… just wow.”

“What music keeps you going?” I asked, holding his hands where they rested on my tummy.

“I like Green Day, SOD, Blink and FOB, too, but I also like The Used and Riverboat Gamblers, and I love Hellogoodbye” he said, resting his chin on my head. “Not sure if I have a favorite anything, though.”

“Oh, I adore Riverboat Gamblers,” I said, giggling. Getting an idea, I said, “Jake. Do me a favor and figure out what your favorite song is, okay? Or at least one you really love. I wanna know so I can play it for you someday…”

“God, you’re amazing,” he whispered, brushing his lips across my ear, sending a chill down my spine. Feeling me shudder, he added, “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. No one has ever had this effect on me, honey. You’re the first of a lot of things…”

I felt him smile against my neck as he said, “Can I be the first of other things?”

Knowing exactly what he meant, a tiny whimper escaped my lips before I had the chance to stifle it.

“Is that a yes?” Jake playfully asked, nuzzling me.

“Eventually,” I managed to say before I lost my voice.

I closed my eyes and, realizing that it was getting late, quickly looked up at the clock on the radio. It read 11:51

“It’s almost midnight,” I whispered, turning to look up at Jake.

“Oh, you’re right,” he said, following my gaze back to the display.

“You wanna go stand out on the balcony? I like to be outside, breathing the fresh air at the beginning of the New Year,” I said, sitting up.

Smiling, Jake stood up and, taking my hand, said, “I’d love to.”

I followed him outside, holding his hand. We stood leaning on the rail of the second story balcony as fireworks popped on the distant horizon out in the country, as they were outlawed in the city.

“You’re lucky your porch faces west,” I said, gesturing to the black outline of hills. “You have a very distant glimpse of the Hill Country.”

“Compared to this ugly part of the city, yeah. I am lucky,” he replied, moving to stand behind me.

I sighed as he very gently put his arms around me.

“Jake,” I said, running my hands along his smooth, bare arms, “how will we know it’s midnight?”

I felt Jake’s right hand leave me as he reached for something in one of his pockets.

“I set my cell phone to that anatomical clock you can call,” he replied, holding up the little flip phone. “I set everything to it.”

“Erm, anatomical?” I said, giggling.

“Well, whatever,” he muttered.

“I think you mean the atomic clock…”

“Yeah, that one.”

I managed to stop snickering and finally sighed, enjoying the sensation of his body against mine. How many Decembers had I stood outside alone, waiting for my future to come rolling in and sweep me off my feet? I never knew that it would be a New Year’s Eve “party” that would finally bring me that future.

For a brief moment, I had to suppress a snicker as I recalled the lyrics of one Blue October song: “18th Floor Balcony.” It was a beautiful little ballad about two lovers standing on a balcony, realizing what they meant to one another. “Three minutes,” came Jake’s voice from behind me, snapping me out of my reverie.

“Three more minutes left in this year. I saw some of the best—and worst—moments of my life this year. I figured out that I was beautiful, I started a band, I made some amazing friends, I wrote some pretty damn good stories, I overcame so many fears, I had some breathtaking fun, I learned so much… and I think I finally won over my true love,” I said, turning in his embrace to look at him.

“Sam, I told you,” whispered Jake, “I’m not sure if I am in love with you.”

“Doesn’t matter if you’re sure or not,” I said, smiling sweetly. “I can feel it in your touch, hear it in your voice: You love me. And tonight, you admitted that you’ve felt that way for so long…”

“I am sorry I never told you how I feel,” he sighed, but I placed my fingers on his lips.

“Shh, baby. Don’t ever worry about that. What matters is that I’m here now and we can see what will become of whatever it is that has grown between us. I’m just thrilled that I have finally gotten this chance…”

“Sam,” he whispered, leaning so close to me. I felt his breath ruffle my hair, warm in contrast with the still, frigid midnight air, as he said, “Thirty seconds.”

“I’m so nervous,” I said, reaching up to put my arms around his neck.

“Why?”

“‘Cause I’ve never kissed anyone before. How will I know I’m not screwing up?”

“‘Cause I’m gonna show you how,” murmured Jake, bringing his mouth so close to mine that I thought our lips would touch.

With a whimper, I asked, “How long now?”

“Five… four… three… two…” he whispered, casting a glance at the phone in his hand where it rested on my shoulder.

“Happy New Year, baby,” I whispered, leaning toward him.

Setting his phone on the railing as cries of mirth and the rumble of fireworks and gunfire in the distance marked the change of the clock, Jake whispered, “Happy New Year, Sam,” and our lips met.

I moaned against his mouth as a very different kind of pyrotechnics erupted from somewhere deep inside my body, burning my skin where he touched me. I had never felt anything like that kiss, but I had so often imagined it, or dreamed of it. Now, feeling the warm, loving arms of the man I desired wrapped so tightly around me, I knew I had found happiness.

Giving in to his urging, I opened my mouth, feeling his tongue slip between my lips. All the times I had thought about what I would do when I kissed someone flew away on the gentle but cold breeze now drifting down from the hills. It finally occurred to me to kiss him back, but I wasn’t sure how. Acting on a whim, I slid my tongue past his into the warm wetness of his mouth, tasting him for the first time.

He too moaned as we stood there in the freezing-cold wind of a new January. But I didn’t feel cold. I felt his body, hard and warm, against mine, felt his hands—his left in the small of my back, his right cupping my cheek, turning my mouth into his—holding me tight, felt his soft, warm lips pressed so firmly against mine.

After what felt like the longest, sweetest year of my life, Jake broke the kiss, leaning back and opening his eyes to meet mine. I realized I was smiling like an idiot, but he didn’t seem to mind; he too wore a very goofy grin.

“How was your first kiss, Sam?” he asked, running his thumb across my cheek.

“Better than anything I have ever imagined, Jake,” I replied, trying hard to suppress the whimper in my voice as I did so.

“Sam,” he breathlessly said, “when do you have to be home?”

“My folks’ll be in bed. They won’t know I haven’t came home ’til about nine tomorrow…” I said, gazing at him with the wickedest smile I could.

“Oh, God,” he whimpered.

“May I stay?” I asked, slipping my hands down his waist to slip inside the back pockets of his jeans.

“Only if… if you want to,” whispered Jake, goosebumps arising on his skin as he did so.

“Do you want me to?” I asked, still smiling.

“More than anything.”

“This would be my first time… Help me make it right, please. And, Jake?”

“Uh-huh?”

“It won’t be your first, will it?”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” I said, smiling at him, more sweetly this time. “I only want you, so nothing else matters.”

“Sam… are you sure I’m the one you want to spend your first… night… with?” he asked, holding my face in his hands.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life,” I whispered, taking his face in my hands as well and bringing our mouths together once again.

As the fire of desire passed from my mouth into his, Jake reached behind me to pick up his cell phone. I heard the little be-doop as he turned it off and, still keeping our mouths pressed tightly together, he began to guide me back inside.

One-handed, he slid the patio door shut behind us and we continued into the living room. But sadly, he had to break the kiss so he could turn off the radio and all the lights.

In the second that we were no longer connected, I ducked out of his arms and ran toward the kitchen. Jake, catching on quickly, pursued me there and grabbed my wrists, pinning me against the fridge.

“Why do you want to escape?” he whined, kissing me again.

“Because I thought you’d like a chase…” I replied, smiling that wicked smile again.

With a little moan, he let me go and I took off running, Jake right behind me. Catching me again, he pinned me in the doorway of the bedroom and nuzzled my neck.

“Last chance to escape for real,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my collarbone.

“Why in God’s name would I do that?” I deadpanned, bending down to kiss his cheek.

“Sam,” he whimpered, not sure of what to say.

“I want you and only you. Do you have any idea what I would do just to stay here tonight?”

“I have a few ideas,” he said, finally grinning again.

“Wanna see if they’re right?”

“When did you become such a flirt, Sam? So sexual?”

“When a night with you came into play.”

“You’ve er, thought about this a lot, huh?”

“Sad to say, baby, but yeah. I’m in love with you. And, unless I’m more insane than I first considered, I have loved you since the day I was born. I was put here to love you, ’cause I sure as hell can’t seem to do anything else that feels as right as this…”

“Sam, I want to be your first. Let me make this the best night of your life… Help me make sure it never ever ends…”

The smile fading from my lips, I took his hand and led him into his own bedroom. It was small, and a little cluttered with dirty clothes and a few leftover boxes from his recent move, but warm and cozy. The bed was a big, comfy queen-size, and it looked soft, inviting and comfortable, so I gently pushed Jake back on it so that he was sitting on the edge.

“Oh, Sam,” he moaned as I climbed into his lap, resting my knees on either side of his hips.

Slowly, he slid his hands up, from my ankles, to my hips and to my shoulders, holding me there. As his breath picked up, revealing his own desperation, almost equal to mine, I licked my lips and bent down to kiss him.

As he moaned, enjoying my new daring approach, I let go of his arms and reached down to lift my shirt up over my head, breaking the kiss for a moment. When I had tossed the soft cotton unceremoniously to the floor, Jake leaned back, gasping as he saw me.

“Oh, God… You’re… Oh, Sam…”

“Coherency is vital, Jake…” I said, giggling.

Feeling the rush and heat of desire radiating out from my center, I took his head in my hands and drew his face toward me. Instinctively knowing what I wanted, he pressed his lips to the smooth place between my breasts, only partially obscured by the white lace of my bra.

I closed my eyes and sighed, at a loss for words to describe how it felt being that close to him. He smiled against my skin as he reached around to unhook my bra.

“Not yet,” I said, pushing him away.

He moaned again, this time in frustration, and said, “You’re fucking with me, Sam…”

“No, Jake. I do believe that I am gonna fuck you. There is a difference.”

“Oh, fuck me,” he whimpered, grabbing me and falling back on the bed with me on top of him.

I licked my lips again, enjoying the look in his eyes whenever I did so, and slowly drew my hands up his neck to his face, sliding his glasses down his nose.

“You have such beautiful eyes,” I whispered, pressing gentle kisses to each of them in turn.

“Yours are beautiful-er,” he said, taking my glasses off, too.

I grinned and then giggled as I felt the warm tender kisses all over my face.

Desire, hot and dangerous, flared inside me and I knew my life would be forever changed by the next morning. But I didn’t care. Nothing mattered—nothing had ever mattered—except Jake and my finally getting to love him.

Our mouths met again, more urgency blooming with each kiss. I had never wanted anyone like I wanted him and I could only hope he wanted me just half as much.

“I need you, Sam,” he whispered, nuzzling my cheek.

“I need you more than you’ll ever know, but please, do me one favor, Jake…”

“Anything.”

“Let me take this is as slow as I need to, okay?”

“Your first is scary… I remember. Of course, Sam,” he sighed, stroking my face with his fingertips. “I’d love for this feeling to last all night…”

As his hands cupped my face, he drew his thumb across my mouth, tracing the outline of my lips, now parted in desperate desire. With a sly grin, though, I opened my mouth and took his thumb between my lips. A tiny whimper escaped his mouth, but he let me continue.

“You like that?” I asked, sitting up on his belly as I took his hand in both of mine. He nodded and I said, “Good, ’cause this is something I’ve been wanting to do for a damn long time…”

“What’re you gonna…?” Jake started to say, but his voice faded as I pressed his fingertips to my lips.

Starting with his index finger, I pressed slow, tender kisses to each of his fingers, opening my mouth just a bit more with each one. I kissed the open palm of his hand, drawing my lips down to his wrist where I then very slowly drew my tongue partially down his arm, blowing cool air on the dampness I left behind. Jake moaned, dropping his head back on the bed, losing himself in desire.

“Sam…” he started to say, but I interrupted him.

“I’m not through…”

“Oh, God…”

I licked back up to his hand, lapping slowly at the soft, pale skin of his palm, and then took his index finger into my mouth, sucking on it and very gently biting it. I felt his chest rising and falling under me as he breathed harder and harder. Not exactly wanting to stop, I gave his wrist a final French kiss and let go.

“Dear God,” sighed Jake, his body relaxing for a moment under mine.

“Did you like that?” I asked, pressing the palms of my hands flat against his chest.

“Yes… It was amazing. I actually almost… er… Well, you’re amazing.”

Giggling, I climbed off of him and he moved, lying back on the pillow and looking expectantly up at me. I grinned and crawled over to him, my eyes only briefly lighting on the hardness behind the front of his jeans. When our eyes met, I realized we were both flushed, but we didn’t seem to care.

“Can I take your shirt off?” I asked. “There’s something else I wanna do…”

“Keep this up, Sam, and I won’t ever let you go home,” he replied, reaching up to run his long, sexy fingers through my hair. “You’re doing things to me that I never even knew could feel good… Go ahead, strip me naked. I am all yours…”

With a naughty smile, I slipped my hands under the hem of the soft, grey t-shirt and pulled it up over his head. Jake sat up for a second so it would come off then he collapsed back on the pillow. I threw his shirt over the edge of the bed and pressed my lips to his, kissing him even harder than before. We both sort of whimpered and he gently rested his hands on the firm roundness of my butt.

“Oh, I ought to take my jeans off so I can feel your hands on me while I do this to you,” I muttered, straightening.

“Lemme help,” Jake gasped, reaching up to undo the pewter buckle of my silver guitar-print belt.

I gasped as he jerked the tight denim off of my skinny hips, revealing the white Victoria’s Secret bikini beneath. I flopped off of him for a moment so I could tug the jeans down my thighs. When I was left dressed in nothing but my white bra and panties, I straddled him again.

“What’re you gonna do?” he asked again, his face clouding for just a moment with apprehension.

“Nothing special,” I said, grinning impishly.

I kissed his lips for a very brief moment, and then drew my lips down his neck, lapping at his collarbone, one of the sexiest parts of anyone’s body, in my opinion. He lightly rested his hands on the backs of my thighs as I did this, gasping for air. I smiled at the fact that I could do this to him, arouse him that much, drive him that close to…

Opening my mouth, I slowly drew my tongue down his chest, licking at his smooth, golden skin like a dog. Desire had overcome me, driving any and all rational thought from my mind so that all I could think of doing was pleasing Jake.

As I went lower, he slowly brought his hands up, first to my hips, then to my back, pressing his fingertips into me when I did something particularly well.

When my wet kisses had reached the waistband of his jeans, I stopped, slowly slipping my tongue under the edge of the rough fabric.

“Don’t stop,” he whimpered beneath me.

“I will. For now.”

“Oh, no… No, no, no, Sam. Keep going. Keep going, please,” he gasped, gently digging his fingernails into the delicate white skin of my legs.

“Well, if you insist.”

With the nimble fingers of a guitar player, I undid his belt and the button of his jeans, pausing before I slid the zipper down. Jake moaned, pressing his hands firmly against my back, urging me on, so I unzipped the jeans, incrementally hitching them further down his hips.

Finally tiring of my delay, he reached down and took the pants off himself, tossing them aside. I grinned at his desperation, amazed that I could do that to him.

“Stop grinning like that, please,” he sighed, putting his hands back on my shoulders. “I am begging you now to touch me, Sam. You’ve pushed me this far… Turning me on without a thought of what it was doing to me. Please, just let me feel your hands on me… please…”

With a knowing smile, I gently brushed my fingers across the thin white fabric that was all that lay between me and Jake. I had never touched a man and frankly, had no clue what to do. But I knew that instincts always kicked in at times like these, and, as Jake moaned beneath me, I knew I would find a way to make him happy. I slid my hands under the waistband of his briefs and tugged them down.

“Oh, dear God…” he gasped, looking down at me as I very gently took him in my fingertips.

“Tell me what you want,” I said, smiling at him.

“I don’t know exactly,” he said, his eyes popping. “But I think you will…”

Biting back a giggle, I took him in my mouth, sliding my tongue along underneath. He felt so good to me, so hard and hot against my lips; the taste of his flesh was like nothing I had ever imagined. I then wondered how I could ever consider myself gay—like I did over the last summer.

“Oh, God… God this is… oh…” he cried.

Jake kept whimpering and moaning incoherencies as I pleased him, licking underneath him and pressing hot kisses against his body. I felt his fingernails in my flesh as I nipped at the end and he gasped, “Oh, not so hard, please…”

“You don’t like it that hard?”

He shook his head, closing his eyes as I sucked on him, losing myself in the fact that I was causing him so very many different kinds of pleasure and pain.

“I’m gonna stop now,” I said, pulling back. “I want this to wait until… well, later, okay?”

“If you must,” he sighed, clearly disappointed at the loss of contact.

“I thought you wanted to make this feeling last all night?” I said, grinning coyly at him.

“That was before you… you… before you touched me, Sam.”

“You liked it all, then?”

“Oh, very, very much so.”

“Then, do you suppose you could show me some of that same pleasure?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh,” he whimpered, taking in my partially-covered body.

Giggling, I pushed him out of my way and laid down where he had been, reaching my arms up to touch his face.

“Take me,” I said, my voice somber.

“Yes’m.”

“My bra first,” I gasped, feeling the heat from his hands as he slid them around me.

I put my arms around his neck to hold me up as he undid the clasp. I then lay back down as he held the soft lace against his chest for a moment, gazing at my bare breasts, the cool air of his room making my nipples stiff.

“I’m sorry I’m not… not very pretty. I’m sorry my breasts aren’t very big…” I said, feeling guilty that my body wasn’t supermodel-perfect.

“Shut up,” whispered Jake, pressing his lips to mine. “You are one of the most beautiful women alive—inside and out. Don’t ever doubt that you’re sexy, Sam, ever. You drive me crazy. And so what if you’re not a thirty-six double D? You’re still sexy, gorgeous and are turning me on big time right now, okay?”

“I’m gonna cry if you don’t shut up, Jake,” I said, giggling.

With a smile that I realized I had never seen before, one so sweet and tender, he bent down and pressed a kiss between my breasts. A sigh escaped my mouth and he slowly brought the kiss up to my left breast. Gently cupping my right in his left hand and holding on to my shoulder with his right, Jake opened his mouth and took my nipple in his lips, drawing a moan from deep within me. I wrapped my arms around him, bringing his face closer to me, and pressed a sloppy kiss against his hair.

“Oh, God, how I want you,” I whimpered, never before knowing what it felt like to have a man please me like that.

“I want you more,” he sighed, slowly slipping further down my body to lap at the hollow of my hips, just above my panties.

“Take me,” I said again, raising my hips so he could take my underwear off.

Gasping, Jake slid the panties down, revealing to him the part of me that no one had ever touched before. I kicked the white cotton from around my ankles and very slightly spread my legs, showing him how much I wanted him—needed him.

“I’m yours, Jake,” I whispered, taking his hands in mine to press against my belly. “Show me pleasure like I never knew… please…”

“Gladly, Sam…”

A seductive smile parting his lips, Jake bent over me, gently pressing a kiss to my inner thigh. One kiss at a time, he made his way up to my… up to me. Sliding his tongue along the tender flesh of my body, he tasted the wetness that flowed from within me.

“Your honey tastes so sweet, Sam,” he whispered, lapping at me.

“Shh, don’t call it that,” I sighed, taking his head in my hands. “Sounds dirty… Give it a sweeter name, like rain or something.”

“Rain…” he repeated, slowing his pace. “Perfect. Beautiful. Romantic… Like you. Sam, I wanna drown in your rain…”

“You may if you keep pleasing me like this.”

I then loudly gasped as his tongue flicked over the tenderness of a certain spot.

“Oh, sorry, did I touch something?” he asked, grinning wickedly up at me.

“Uh-huh…”

“Want me to stop touching it?”

“No…”

I whimpered as he did it again… And again and again and again…

“Jake!” I cried. “It feels so damn good, baby…”

“Tell me you like it, please.”

“Baby, I love it.”

Parting me with his fingers, Jake drew his mouth slowly down to my center, sliding his tongue inside me.

“Oh, sweet God,” I moaned, gripping his face and pressing him harder against me. “Deeper, please…”

He lapped at me inside, moaning a little as my desire flowed over him. I couldn’t help but call his name as he brought me closer and closer until…

“Don’t stop!” I cried, frustrated as he left me.

“I want this to wait until… well, later, okay?” he said, grinning mischievously at me.

“You are evil,” I sighed, catching my breath.

Teasing, we had each brought the other to the brink of oblivion, and then cruelly ripped them back into reality. But Jake was only retaliating to what I had done earlier.

“Fine. Later,” I finally said, reaching up to wipe my rain off his mouth. “Come inside me.”

“Is that a demand?”

“No. It’s a plea. Please, come inside me. No one but me has ever been there…”

“No one but you, huh?” he said, still grinning.

“Don’t make fun of me, Jake. No way in hell you can tell me you’ve never made love to yourself in pure desperate loneliness,” I sighed, pursing my lips.

“Almost every night,” Jake deadpanned.

“But neither of us ever have to do that again,” I said, smirking up at him. “We have a real lover to call our own…”

“I want to sleep with you… When this is over, you will stay with me?”

“As long as you’ll let me, baby,” I said, brushing what might have been tears from the corners of his eyes. “Now, I want you inside me…”

With a little moan of lust, Jake lay down on top of me, wrapping his arms around my body and drawing me as close to him as he could. I whimpered as our bodies collided, welcoming his weight all over me, his arms around me, his lips on my ear, his love so close to me…

“Jake—inside me. I am begging you!” I cried, arching my back so my hips pressed against his.

“When I feel like it,” he whispered, kissing down from my ear, to my neck and to my collarbone.

“You’re the one fucking with me, now,” I growled, pressing my fingertips into his back.

“No. Shortly, I am gonna all out fuck you, Sam. Big difference.”

“Stop talking, you ass,” I said, grinning before I kissed him hard and passionately.

Jake whimpered against my mouth and I reached down to finger him, eliciting a pained moan from him. Ignoring his hand creeping down to stop me, I brought him inside me. It didn’t hurt since I had been there many times, but it was a shock. I had never before felt anything inside me like him, like his love. I ached so that I broke the kiss to call his name, begging him to stroke me.

“Fuck me, Jake,” I whimpered, kissing his cheek as he pressed his hips to mine, going deeper inside me than I knew was possible.

“That’s not how you like it, though, is it?” he asked, stroking the side of my face with tender, loving fingers. “You want it slow and easy, so tender you could cry, right?”

“Uh-huh,” I murmured, holding back tears.

I never actually believed I would get to make Jake mine. Yes, I had dreamed of it many times and spent many an hour blissfully imagining it—he was, in fact, the fantasy I masturbated to—but I never knew I would get to hold him, feel him inside me, pleasing me so.

“I’ll make love to you like you always imagined, Sam… Slow, but hard, right? Deep and then deeper, stroking your very heart and soul, right?”

“You can read my mind?”

“Your body. I can tell. That’s who you are. A hopeless romantic who wants it to be like a fairy tale…”

“Jake… however you do it, please do it now. I’m not sure how much longer I can last…” I begged, arching my back again.

“You think it’s hard for you? I’ve never gone this long…” he said, grinning again.

“Please,” I whispered, begging for him.

Placing firm hands on the curve where my neck joined my shoulder, Jake drew back then slowly fell into me, pressing his body as hard against me as possible. I threw my head back and moaned as he did it again.

“Harder, Jake, harder!” I whimpered, feeling that oblivion once more creep closer.

I felt him, so deep inside me, stroking the deepest part of me. I wondered if he was enjoying it as much as me, I wondered if I pleased him the way he was pleasing me…

“I love you, Sam,” he finally whispered, pressing a lustful kiss to my ear as he paused his rhythm.

I moaned when he stopped, but felt tears come to my eyes as his words sank in. Were those simply words uttered in the heat of desire? Or did he mean it? Did Jake love me the way I had always hoped? At the moment, it didn’t matter either way.

“I love you, too!” I gasped, taking his face in my hands so I could kiss him. “I have always loved you, Jake… Do you mean it?”

“Uh-huh,” he whimpered, pulling back to start fucking me again. “More than anything. Sorry it took me so long…”

“Shut up and fuck me, Jake,” I said, kissing all over his face. “I love you—and need you—so much more than you will ever know…”

Tears fell freely from my eyes as he stroked me, over and over again. Each time bringing us both closer to that moment we both were screaming for.

“Harder, Jake,” I moaned, arching my back to match his rhythm and perhaps thrill him as much as he thrilled me.

Fire burning deep down in my body, I moaned and whimpered, aching in places I didn’t know I had. I felt the heat between our bodies intensify with each breathtaking stroke. Even Jake kept closing his eyes and moaning.

Through the sounds of love that came from my throat, I managed to whimper, “Are… are you… c—close… Jake?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, nuzzling my neck again. “You?”

I nodded, unable to form words as I teetered on the edge of that fabled oblivion. Jake, so deep inside me now, was stroking a part of me I never knew a man could reach. A part of me that gave such blissful pleasure that it hurt and just when I thought I was about to come…

“Oh, Sam!” he cried, squeezing me tightly. “I—I love you… Sam…”

I felt him suddenly shudder and I realized he had come, pouring himself into me. Trembling, he moaned in pure bliss, but didn’t stop stroking me, waiting for me to finish.

“Once more, and harder,” I begged, thrusting my hips hard against his.

He nodded and did as I asked, kissing my lips one last time.

In one beautiful stroke, I toppled over the edge, falling with Jake into the bliss only love like that could bring. I cried out, moaning as loudly as my throat would allow.

“Jake!” I moaned, squeezing him as he had done me. “Oh, God… Jake!”

One more stroke and I felt the brilliant white light of the orgasm slowly fade, revealing Jake’s beautiful face to me, shining with his sweat as he grinned, holding me against him.

“Oh my God,” I gasped, clinging to him as my whole body trembled. “Oh my God…”

He giggled as we clung to one another, both of us tumbling down from the beautiful peak we had reached. I loved that giggle.

“Sam,” he said, his pretty mouth parted in such a sweet, childish smile, “you were amazing. This was the best! I love you so much…”

I leaned up and kissed him, unable to think of words to convey how I felt at that moment, hoping the kiss would do it better.

With another giggle, Jake broke the kiss, nuzzling my neck. I adored that sweet, innocent side of him: the giggles, the hugs, the giddy joy he sometimes displayed; he was like a child in so many endearing ways.

And he was mine in so many intimate ways.

“Kiss me again, Jake. It’s all I can do to keep from drowning in this…”

He didn’t hesitate; he took my face in his hands and brought our mouths together in another tender, but still passionate, kiss. His tongue found mine and sort of lapped all around it, drawing a moan from deep within me.

Pulling back, though, he said, “I’m not ready to start this over, Sam… Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m sorry. I am, I just… I’m just afraid of falling asleep. What if I wake up in my bed and find it was all a dream?” I said, looking down at his sweet face.

“It’s real, Sam. Real. You are real, I am real… this night was real. Believe it, baby.”

I finally smiled again, wrapping my arms around him and rolling so we were beside each other. Only briefly did I mourn the loss of our connection as I nestled myself under his left arm and rested my head on his chest. He wasn’t what one could call buff, but I thought his hard, smooth, tan chest was perfect; I had always thought him beautiful and hadn’t seen anything tonight to counter that notion.

Beneath my head, his heartbeat slowly returned to normal, the rush of love over. I watched as his chest rose and fell as he sighed so contently. A glance upwards showed that he was gazing lovingly at me.

“Stop staring, you’re making me blush.”

“I like making you blush, Sam… I like making you do a lot of things…”

“I liked making you beg for more,” I said, grinning wickedly.

“Well, no complaints here. What are the odds of you and me sneaking to the bathroom for a quickie next time you’re at my store?”

“You dirty bastard,” I growled, failing to suppress the satisfied grin on my face.

“You know you wanna try it.”

“Actually, yes. But long before you suggested it… Before, even, I told you I like you…”

Jake’s eyes bugged out as the realization of what I meant hit him.

“You dirty-ass slut,” he said, giggling like a little girl. “I could have had you any time, huh?”

“All you had to do was say the word,” I sighed, ashamed of my own weakness—him.

“Sam,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead, “don’t ever change. This world will change around you and people will change, your feelings and needs will change but please, always remain the woman you are now. It is she I fell in love with and she who clearly has the world wrapped around her finger. Everyone adores you—especially me. I have never met anyone quite like you and I thank you for being you. Just promise me you’ll always be you…”

“I wouldn’t change for the world,” I said, grinning as I tilted my head down to kiss his tummy. “But there are aspects of my personality I wish I could change…”

“Like what?” asked Jake, looking rather surprised.

“Like how selfish and shallow I am—”

“You’re not selfish—”

“Yes I am.”

“—or shallow, Sam, you’re—”

“I’m not perfect.”

“Exactly, so don’t ever expect to be perfect. We’re all selfish and hateful sometimes. Great thing about love is that it doesn’t matter. I’ll always love you no matter what wrongs you occasionally do. So will your mom, your sister and your dad, the people who are your real friends. You’re an amazing person and just because you sometimes display undesirable traits doesn’t mean you’re a bad person—oh… I get it.”

I snickered as Jake realized something I had been trying to pound into his head for ages. He thought he was selfish and cold and bad, and I believe I’d just cured him of it.

“Well,” he sighed, grinning, “let’s call it even, okay? Neither of us is perfect, but we both try and hell, we love each other, so it doesn’t matter either way.”

“Bingo,” I said, stifling a yawn.

“Sleepy, Sam?”

“Uh-huh…”

“All I ask is that you be there when I wake up…”

I raised myself on my elbow to look down at him. He was smiling sweetly up at me, his eyes still shiny. It was then that it hit me what I had just done.

“Oh, God,” I whispered, turning from him and sitting up.

“What’s wrong, Sam?” he asked, reaching up to press his hands against my shoulder blades. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I sighed, hugging my knees as my face flushed several different shades of pink.

“No you’re not. Did I say something? Hurt you?”

“No, I just… I can’t believe this actually happened. I never knew either of us was capable of all the things we did tonight. I mean, I fantasized about you! How could it be that I actually laid down with you and cried out for you to fuck me?”

With the giggle that always makes me question his sexuality, Jake said, “But we are capable. That’s the thing about being human. We all need the same things: food, sleep, water, air, love—in all its many fine forms—and we are bound by our human limitations. You and I are no different from any other pair of animals on this planet. Nor are we any different from any given pair of lovers. We’re madly in love with one another apparently; we have a right to fuck. But it wasn’t fucking, Sam…”

“It wasn’t?” I deadpanned. “Sure felt like it to me.”

“I mean, like when you said to say ‘rain’ instead of ‘honey,’ that’s sort of how I see loving and fucking. Fucking is something you do in a cheap motel room with a perfect stranger. Loving is what you and I did… and oh, how we did do it…”

Caving in and looking over my shoulder at Jake, a few more tears slid down my cheeks. Behind me, he was laying on his side, inching closer. He looked up at me and smiled sweetly, making me ache again.

“You have a way of saying things, Jake,” I said, smiling back.

“Thanks,” he replied, nuzzling me in the small of my back.

As a shudder tumbled down my spine, I tossed my head back and sighed. Jake slowly drew his fingertips down from my shoulders to where his lips were now brushing against my bottom.

“You’re skin’s so soft, Sam,” he whispered, clearly exhausted as his eyelids drooped.

He tasted my skin for just a little bit longer before he sat up and put his arms around me, kissing the back of my neck. I couldn’t help but let out a tiny squeak of pleasure; the back of my neck was a very sensitive, sensual part of my body.

“Oh, Jake,” I cooed, lolling my head back on his shoulder. “That feels so good… Oh, but if you keep this up, baby, I’m gonna get all turned on again…”

“Then I should keep it up, right?”

With a soft laugh I said, “But aren’t you tired?”

“Exhausted, Sam,” said Jake with a sigh. “But for you, I’d stay up all night…”

I giggled as his breath ruffled the soft curls of my hair that fell on my neck, tickling me. He giggled too and softly blew on me again, stirring my hair.

“I love you, Jake, and I don’t wanna keep you up all night. Can I love you again in the morning?”

“I’ve never loved in the morning,” he said, leaning around me to look at my face. “I’ll bet it’s amazing…”

“Same as loving at night accept we can see one another. Oh shit.”

“What?”

“I don’t want you to see me in the daylight…”

“Shut up, Sam, you’re gorgeous,” Jake purred, nuzzling my shoulder. “Besides, I can see you fine with the streetlights shining in. You’re still beautiful.”

“You’re either the sweetest man alive or the greatest liar ever born,” I said, shaking my head.

“Come lay down with me, Sam. I’m so tired and all I can think about right now is how it would feel to fall asleep in your arms. You’re so amazing…”

I turned in place and smiled at him, leaning close enough to brush the tip of my nose across his cheek. He did the same, only he added a soft kiss to my chin.

“I love you, Jake,” I said, letting him pull me down on top of him.

“I love you even more,” he replied, holding me down so I couldn’t move.

I rested my chin on his chest and stared up at him, simply in awe of the fact that I was there in his arms, in his bed. He grinned, staring back at me, and giggled.

“I love the way you laugh,” I said, folding my arms under my chin. His face flushed a little and I added, “I love the way you smile, the way you talk. I love the way you make love and the way you touch me. I love the way you look in this darkened room and I love the way you look in the cold lighting of your store, smiling at me from behind that counter. I love every damned thing about you, Jake. I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love you.”

The grin disappeared from his face as Jake opened his mouth to say something. He paused though, seemingly unable to find the words. Instead, his face darkened as tears formed at the corners of his eyes. He hastily blinked and wiped away the moisture, stifling a whimper.

“Jake!” I cried, reaching to take his face in my hands. “I’m sorry! What’d I say, baby? Don’t cry, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

“Hush, Sam. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“What’s wrong, Jake? Tell me.”

He shook his head and, putting his arms back around me, said, “I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that… well, what you said. It’s so… so… so sweet. I never knew anyone could love me like that. I always believed that all I did was hurt people, make them wish I would go, but you… You honestly care about me beyond any caring I have ever known. I don’t deserve to be as happy as I am now… with you…”

“Oh, Jake,” I cooed, inching further up his body so I could kiss him. I pressed my lips firmly against his and kissed him like he had kissed me that first time. When I finally broke the kiss, I said, “Don’t ever doubt your worth, Jake. You’re the world to me and you make me happier than I have ever been. For as long as I remember, you have been the one thing that has kept me alive. When I fall asleep at night, it’s you I think of; you’re the thing I dream of and long for. You’re my naughty fantasy and my fairytale dream. You’re everything to me. You’re my everything, Jake.”

“Sam,” he whimpered, gazing up at me as his eyes continued to shine. “Don’t ever leave me. I need you. You’re the first person to ever make me feel like this. And you’ll surely be the last. Please, please don’t go…”

“Never,” I sighed, nuzzling the side of his face. “I’ll stay here ’til you’re sick and tired of me.”

“That will be one hell of a long time.”

“Thank you for letting me share the new year with you, thank you for letting me share your bed and thank you, Jake, for being my first,” I said, unable to tear my eyes from his, so deep and clear.

“Thanks for letting me be the first… I’ve never been anyone’s first before.”

I felt myself blush as I grinned up at him, exhaustion overtaking me. With a yawn, I muttered, “I’m so tired, Jake…”

“It’s the middle of the damn night,” he said, snickering. “It’s no wonder.”

“Hold me ’til I’m asleep, Jake,” I begged, already beginning to doze in the warm comfort of his arms.

“What if I want to hold you longer?” he said, tilting his head down to kiss the top of mine.

“Don’t ever let me go,” I sighed, not knowing what else he said as I felt the darkness close in and I lost all conscious thought.