The Diary

Copyright 2008

My name is Jessie and I am going to share with you my most intimate secrets by letting you read me diary. This would be the thing that most girls share with their best girlfriend, but I don’t have anyone close. I’m a freshman at a regional State University. I have lived with my Grandmother for the last five years, both of my parents dying suddenly but that’s something I don’t want to talk about. I share a room with two other girls on campus now, but my Grandmother lives not far from the University so I see her often.

I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I’m extremely shy, the type that would pass you by and you wouldn’t even see me. I have brown hair, what I consider mousy brown, hanging a bit below my collar. My eyes are hazel, my skin fair. And my body is something that boys don’t gawk at, even if they could see it. I dress very conservatively. I’m an excellent student, learning comes easy to me so I devote all of my time and energies to school. That is where I met Steven. He’s a freshman also, living on the nearby Army base. We had one class together at the beginning of school and were thrown together as lab partners. He’s as smart as I am so we hit if off immediately. We’ve been study partners since that time, almost a year now. That’s all I have to say, the rest is in my diary.

Saturday, February 2

Yippeee! I think I have a boyfriend. Now I know you are wondering how come I don’t know for sure. Steven. My boyfriend. I wanted to see it in words. We have been close ever since September. It has always been studying, but we now eat together almost all the time. And we even went to a couple of movies on campus. We had been studying almost all afternoon at the library. Steven finally suggested that we go get a pizza on campus, my stomach growling finally signally that I needed food. We were walking through the park, taking the short cut when I felt it. It was his hand. It touched mine. I looked over at him, but he was staring straight ahead, even though he was talking to me. I felt his fingers touching mine and then suddenly he was holding my hand. His hand was damp, as well as mine, but we clung to each other. We continued to talk without saying anything about holding hands. I almost hated it when we had to sit down at the table. I never wanted to let go of his hand. I was nervous when we finished. Would he hold my hand again? He walked me back to my room. Holding my hand all the way.

Sunday, February 3

I barely slept last night. All I could think about was Steven. He’s a gentle boy, not like others that make fun of me. We have been close, so close that it was almost like he was my best girlfriend. And respectful. His father is an officer on the military base near the University, so I’m sure that’s where he got it from. Just like me, my Father a Chief Master Sergeant. Military grow up differently. They either rebel against the rigid authority of military or they accept it. Steven and I both accepted it. We would never question our elders. I was excited all morning, meeting Steven for lunch and then we were going to study. He also mentioned a movie playing tonight on campus. Would that officially be a date?

Sunday, February 3- 11 PM

He put his arm around me in the movie. Right after it started. I think we are officially a couple now. I never felt anything like it, putting my head on his shoulder, feeling so secure with his arm around me. I could have stayed like that for my whole life but unfortunately the movie ended. He walked me back to my dorm, still holding hands. I hoped he would kiss me, but he didn’t, an awkward moment when we said goodnight. It was though we both wanted to kiss, but were too shy.

Thursday, February 21

I went to Steven’s house for the first time. I was surprised. His father is a General. His house is this big, brick two story with vines growing up the front as if it were standing for centuries. No one was home, going into a large den to study, a flat screen TV taking up almost one wall. We had a snack as we poured over the notes for Calculus, the mid-term coming up next week. I guess we were lost in studying because we were both surprised, Steven standing up as if we were doing something wrong. I looked over at the door, his father filling almost the whole doorway. Though Steven and him looked similar in features, it was confined to their faces. For his father is an imposing man, especially all dressed up in his uniform, his chest covered with rows and rows of multi-colored ribbons. And he has a large chest as well as large arms, not a bit of fat on a well trimmed body. Steven fumbled for words, finally addressing his father as Sir, introducing me to him, though Steven didn’t say the word I wanted to hear. My girlfriend. His father shook my hand, his powerful grip making me weak in the knees. And the way he looked at me, his eyes racing up and down my body, feeling my face get flushed. He didn’t look at me like Steven did. We were getting ready to leave when his father came into the room as if he were watching us and knew. He invited me to dinner on Saturday. Or I should say he asked Steven if he wanted to have his girlfriend come over for dinner on Saturday. At least one of them considered me officially the girlfriend. I accepted without hesitation.

Saturday, February 23

I did something that I never do. I wore a skirt, even though it was freezing cold outside. I’m not sure exactly why. Was I trying to impress Steven or his father? Steven picked me up, barely mentioning my skirt, though he did tell me I was “pretty tonight”. He told me about his father on the way to his house, though no explanation was needed. I already knew about military men. Officers, especially Generals never had the decisions or commands questioned and that extended to family life. Even more since Steven’s mother was missing from the home, Steven never mentioning why, me never pushing it. Like me, it was hard to talk about missing parents. Even with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Michael, the General, asked me to call him Michael after I stammered Sir too many times while he took my coat. As he slipped it from my shoulders I could almost hear him inhaling my perfume, his head so close that I could feel his hot breath blowing on my neck. He stood back, his eyes going from my face down to my feet and back up, stopping at legs. “Very beautiful tonight Jessie. Steven is a lucky boy. He probably doesn’t know how lucky.” He turned and walked away before I could say anything, even if words would have come out of my dry mouth.

The food came out of nowhere, I still don’t know who cooked it. After dinner we went into the den, Michael lighting up a cigar and smoking it as he sipped a brandy. I excused myself to go to the girl’s room. When I came back, Steven was gone, hearing him in the kitchen. By the sound of clinking in a glass, he was making Michael another drink. I was walking by him to sit back down when his voice startled me. It was so loud and demanding. “Your skirt is crooked. Come over here.”

It was as if I were in a daze, walking over to him as he sat forward in the chair. His large hands reached for me, my eyes mesmerized as I moved closer to him, his thick legs sliding between my legs until I was straddling his legs. His hands were on my hips, guiding me forward, my body responding by instinct only. His legs were pushing along my inner thighs. He finally stopped me, his hands moving to the side of my skirt, twisting it with a powerful jerk until it moved until it was straight. I felt so strange, a man dressing me. But he didn’t stop there. His hands slipped under my skirt, disappearing from my sight as I looked down. I was sure I had an orgasm right then when I felt the hot flesh of his hand on my naked inner thigh. My panties grew wet, not damp. Wet, as if my pussy gushed cum. I could barely stand, but he was almost holding me up, my legs forced apart by his legs between mine, his hands touching my inner thighs, my muscles instinctively trying to close, his legs keeping me spread. He removed his hands as suddenly as they were thrust under my skirt, but not before one hand slipped so far under my skirt I shuddered, sure he was going to touch my pussy as it slowly moved up my naked thigh. But he didn’t, suddenly finished with me. Steven was coming back into the room, but not before Michael said it to me. “You have lovely legs. Next time wear a shorter skirt.”

I masturbated three times that night.

Thursday February 28

Steven kissed me. It wasn’t what I expected. I guess I read too many romance novels, expecting something more. It was nice, his lips soft, but there wasn’t much passion in it. I felt more passion when his father touched me. From then on we kissed goodnight each night, but the passion was still never there. My birthday was Saturday and Steven invited me over for dinner. I was disappointed that it was Steven’s idea to invite me over for dinner, not his fathers.

Saturday March 1

Happy Birthday to me! I looked into the mirror, even surprising myself. I had bought a short skirt this morning, after Steven had given me his gift. I opened it up, a black cashmere sweater. I never felt anything so soft. I bought a plaid skirt to go with it. A school girl skirt. It felt strange, never feeling so feminine before. I couldn’t wait for him to see me. But I wasn’t sure if it was Steven or Michael that I wanted to see his expression.

Michael spun me around as if I were a model when he took my coat, the short skirt pulling out as I spun. He whistled a sheepish whistle, his eyes glued to me below my waist. He moved close to me as Steven hung up my coat and whispered into my ear. “Very sexy Jessie.”

Michael’s eyes stared at my all through dinner, though he didn’t see me watching him. His eyes were glued to my breasts. I never had large breasts, though most never even had a hint how big they were because I buried them beneath layers of clothes. Tonight there was only a soft cashmere sweater that clung to them and cling it did. I felt a strangeness, even sitting up straight in the chair, finally arching my back, sticking them out for his eyes to ogle. Michael was cleaning up the dishes and I volunteered to help, Michael accepting.