No matter how much I try, he has this hold over me. The more he pushes, the more I want to give in. The more I want to show him how I truly feel. Maybe Julie is right, maybe I just give in to that inner lust and say fuck it. Damn it, why is this so hard for me?
You know damn well why, because he’s YOUR SON.
My mind continues to flip flop on the situation as I finish my food, then as I clean up the kitchen from dinner. I toss Jason’s food in the microwave to heat it back up and proceed up the stairs to his room. Intending to use the food as a peace offering now that we had a chance to cool down a bit from our hot and heavy moment.
“Hey it’s me, can I come in?” I say after knocking a few times on his bedroom door.
“Yeah,” he responds.
I open the door, balancing his plate of food with the other hand, and walk in. He’s sitting on his bed with his back up against the headboard. I walk over and place the plate of chicken alfredo on his lap.
“I figured you still might be hungry since you only took a few bites earlier”
“Thanks mom. I appreciate it. As you know, that was Lisa calling.”
“Yeah,” I say.
“She said she made a mistake and wants to get back together.”
His words would have made me jump for joy just a few days ago but now it seems like a knife through my heart. My internal struggle with our relationship clouds my thoughts and I revert back to putting on a strong front.
“That’s good, right? I’m so happy for you,” I say.
“But what about us?” he says while looking down at his bed.
“Look honey. Lisa has been your girlfriend for a long time. You two have been through alot together. This is someone who you can have a real relationship and a real life with,” I say while grabbing and holding on his hand with both of my own. While the words hurt to say, I spoke from the heart. “Eat up and if you want to talk more about it tonight or tomorrow, I’m here.”
I smile before standing up from his bed and walking out and down the hall to my own room. I make my way to the newly remodeled master bathroom before staring at my broken self in the mirror.
Get a grip Stacy. Pull yourself together. There’s no way you two could have real life together. Let him live his life and be happy.
I turn on the faucet’s cold water and gather up two handfuls of water before bending over and splashing it on my face. I do it once more then pat my face with the soft hand towel hanging on the wall hook. I decide to change into my pajamas and watch some television in my room for the night. It’s not long before I doze off.
The days to come were uneventful. Tyler is still MIA after our last fight but I haven’t lost any sleep over him. Jason has been a little distant but seems reasonable after what’s transpired between us and now what’s going on with him and Lisa. He hasn’t said another word about her since that night. Juile…well she’s still Julie. Making smart ass remarks and teasing me constantly at work. If I was more into women, I would have probably made some more passes of my own at her.
As I pull into the driveway from wrapping up work a little early on this gorgeous Friday, I notice a silver Dodge Neon. I park beside it and walk inside the house. After entering the front door and looking around, I head up the stairs to Jason’s room. I turn the corner to his room and see him and a woman sitting on his bed.
“Hey mom, you remember Lisa right?” Jason says.
“Hello Mrs. Banner. It’s been a long time,” she says while standing up to greet me. She walks over and wraps her arms around me in a loose hug. After she lets go I smile and reply back.
“Ah yes, It has been a while. How have you been?” I say while smiling, not really caring how she’s been since she broke up with Jason but just adding to the small talk.
“It’s been a tough year but things are looking up. Right Jason?” She says while turning to look at him. He chuckles and gives an approving nod. One that any mother could see was far from genuine.
“Well that’s good. I’ll leave you two alone then,” I say.
“One thing Mrs. Banner,” Lisa says before I leave the room. “Do you think it’s alright if I stay the weekend here? Jason and I have a lot to discuss and it would save me on a hotel room. This poor college girl barely had the gas money to get here.”
“Of course. I’ll make up the spare room for you,” I say followed by a fake smile.
“Thank you so much,” she responds.
I leave the room and walk over to my bedroom in order to change out of my work clothes. While doing so, I mumble to myself, “Oh yes, please invite yourself to stay at my house while trying to guilt trip me because you have no money. Even though your parents pay for your entire college tuition and even give you an allowance still. Damn right you’ll be sleeping in the guest room. No hanky panky while in MY house. What a floozy.”
Once I change into my lounge clothes, put some fresh sheets on the guest bed and call in an order of pizza, my temper calms down a bit. After the pizza arrives I place it on the living room end table so we can eat and watch a movie. I put on a favorite of ours, Groundhog Day with Bill Murray.
All three of us are sitting on the sectional. I sit on the end recliner while Jason and Lisa are in the middle. Lisa’s taken the throw blanket that was laid across the back of the sectional and is using it to cover her and Jason while she attempts to snuggle. A poor attempt, if you ask me,as her eyes have never even left her phone. Constant TikTok scrolling, I assume.
My eyes instinctively dart over to the two of them periodically through the movie. Catching a brief moment of her trying to nonchalantly grope Jason. It’s easy to spot, even if they have a blanket covering their lower half. Jason seems to be more annoyed than anything about it. I even overheard him telling her to cut it out. She didn’t seem to like that one bit.
After the movie, we all call it a night. I make sure Jason goes to his room and Lisa goes to hers. I can tell she isn’t too thrilled about the idea but that was part of why I did it. My house, my rules.
The next day started out a bit awkward. Having another female in the house was not something I’ve been used to. Especially one that seems so manipulative. There’s just something about her that feels off. After breakfast, they both left for most of the day. This gave me a chance to work on some things around the house, go grocery shopping and even get in a few work calls. They came home around dinner time for which I prepared meatloaf.
“Just in time,” I say as I pull the meatloaf out of the oven.
“Is that…meatloaf?”, Lisa says while flaring her nostrils.
“The best in town,” I reply, not letting her squinched up face anger me.
“Hard pass for me,” she says while looking back down at her phone.
“You have to try it. It’s amazing,” Jason says, trying to coax her into it.
“I’m good,” she says, not taking her eyes off her phone’s screen.
“Well, I made a side salad, as well, if you’re interested,” I say.
“I’ll probably just skip dinner. I need to make a few phone calls anyway,” she says before heading out of the kitchen and up to the guest bedroom.
“Well, she’s charming,” I say under my breath. Not really meaning to say it out loud.
“Yeah, sorry Mom. I’m not sure what’s gotten into her.”
“It’s fine. I don’t even know why I said that,” I say, trying to dismiss it.
We both sit down and begin our dinner. The most awkward dinner yet. You could cut the tension with a butter knife. I want to say something but can’t formulate the right words. I can tell he wants to do the same. All I know is I don’t want to lose my son to some control freak.
Damn it, here comes this jealousy again.
Just as we are finishing up, Lisa comes back down stairs and asks Jason if they can talk. They take off back up to his room. I clean up, watch a bit of television and head up to my room. Not without taking a few bottles of wine with me first though. As I pass his room I notice his door is closed. I can hear them talking, possibly arguing. I go into my room, close the door and turn on the television.
An hour passes as does a full bottle of wine. I open my door and take a few steps out into the hallway in my pink robe. Jason’s door is still shut. I decide to give it another hour before I tell Lisa it’s late and she needs to go to the guest room.
Another hour and another bottle of wine later I stand up from the bed, this time almost falling over as I do. You don’t notice how much the alcohol has an effect until you stand up. I compose myself and make my way to the hallway, shutting my bedroom door behind me. I pass the guest bedroom which has the door open and nobody inside.
Okay, she needs to get her ass to her own room.
As I approach Jason’s room fully expecting the door to still be closed, to my surprise it’s open. I walk inside but the light is off and nobody’s there. I quickly leave and walk down to the first floor. Same thing, lights off with no signs of a soul.
report Where the hell did they go?
I go back up to Jason’s room and enter once more. I take a moment to look around and notice his car keys on the bedside end table along with a pill bottle. I pick it up and read the label. “Ambien: Take 1 pill before bedtime, as needed. Lisa Morris”.
As I set the pill bottle down, I notice a little shimmer in Jason’s trash can. The hallway light is just enough to reflect off the packaging. I reach in and pull it out to get a closer look. “Trojan: Ultra Thin”.
That slut. I told her not to fool around in my house. Taking advantage of my poor Jason. That’s it, she’s gone.
My blind rage deafens my ears as I only hear Jason and Lisa as they start down the hallway. If I stay here, Jason will know I violated his trust and privacy. Something I’ve always preached and respected. If I try to leave he will surely see me.
Fuck..fuck…think.
I dart into his closet that’s only a few feet from the side of his bed. As soon as I close the closet door, they both enter his room. I see them relatively clear through the wood slats of the door panel. Reality sets in that I may be stuck here for a while.
“Look, I don’t understand why you needed to go outside,” Lisa says while crossing her arms.
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