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“SPONGE BATH TIME!!” That’s what I woke up to. And it came from the ugliest, hairiest, big-ass nurse I’d ever seen.
Splotches of baby-blue eye makeup, her cheeks were a frightening shade of red and her lips were pursed in an I suck lemons for a living pose. They’d given me another pill around six A.M. so I was out of it, (that nurse actually went around to confirm I was just the only one in here) but not enough that I couldn’t fall out of bed with a HELL NO!
That laugh. That deep booming, your a dumb-ass laugh, was mixed with mom’s musical giggle. Was Popoff in drag. “You fucking son of a…” Almost stood up to say that but stockings. Yeah. Couldn’t really stand up to confront him with those hanging out the bottom of my bedgown. Thankfully though she’d tied them when I was still hard so they slipped off and got put in my bag unnoticed. “Your a dick you know that, and the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.”
He just grinned and passed me an ice-cold pint of champagne. I got very clear-headed when I saw that. “WE FUCKING WON!!” As ugly as he was he got hugged, and not the bro kind, it was full on. Mom took the opportunity of an exposed hospital gown ass to pinch and reminded me she was driving me home.
The questions about what, when, how, and who went unanswered.
“You’ll have to see it to believe man.”
Mom chipped in, “And then some.” A suitcase was thrown on the bed and ten minutes later I was dressed and outside looking at my car. Popoff split with Misty who told me, ‘You’re going to the stuffing hugged out of you’, that left me with mom, and my car.
“I’m too messed up to drive mom. Why my car?”
“I know that. You didn’t see me giving you any keys did you?” She opened my door (passenger) and I was pointed to sit. “I said if I didn’t come up with a better idea.” My door was closed, she got in, turned the engine over and we left. “Give me the prescription.”
A drive-through pharmacy was the first stop, the second one was way left field. A boutique food store. Mom didn’t appreciate my joke.
“Got a craving for pickled pig toenails?” I got the ultimate mom shut the hell up stare.
It was actually very interesting. All kinds of weird named food stuff in there. I’d never seen a truffle. And could not believe there were that many kinds of cheese and bread. Some of the stuff?
Would not have eaten it on a bet. It was what happened while in that store that hit me though. People that I would have never thought liked hockey, much less sports, all had watched the game. There were pats on the back, glad your okay’s, two little guys even wanted me to sign an autograph (I did because mom gave me a solid look). I knew our town and area were fans, but this was the city, and we had fans here too.
Why that’s important is because it put a scope of life sense into my cognitive. Not quite the butterfly ripple effect but it made me realize just how much we all can, and sometimes do, change people we don’t even know. Never mind the ones we do. That was about to come up, and I can’t prove it, but I know mom knew what she was doing with that shopping trip.
There’s a rest stop that is weirdly located almost central to all I know. Nobody ever stops here, there’s no need. It’s a half hour either direction from a superstation, you hit them before here. Why the state keeps it going I don’t know, but it backs up onto a piece of grandpas land and we come here to think about him. That usually means a heavy situation.
“Mom?” She put a finger to her lips, told me to get out, and grabbed the bag of expensive goodies.
“Screw the tables and fire pits, come sit with me.”
Sit with me meant a checkerboard blanket we’d used on every family picnic thrown down next to a barbed wire fence. While mom unpacked the goodies she asked me if I knew this place.
“Yeah, we come here… when things are heavy. Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
A cracker loaded with everything was presented to me.
“Eat this.” I might of forced the question, but it had been almost a day since I’d eaten, and man the smell. Olives and salmon, some kind of cheese, all on a toasted piece of lightly spiced bread. It went down with no hesitations. She made three more before the first one went down. her way of making sure I didn’t start yaking before she told me what she had to say.
“You see all that land outside the fence? That’s yours.” Mid chew eye opener. “Your grandfather kept all these acres for you when you got married.” Ever gagged on a chunk of mystery cheese? “AND YES, I know he probably didn’t think a wife would be one of his daughters. But, he wasn’t without his secrets also.”
“Oh man. Are telling grandma was his sister?” Mom had a slight choking fit on her bit of food.
“No. Your grandma was not his sister just one of his wives.”
“Well, that’s goo… WHAT?”
She held up five fingers and one thumb. “And he loved all of them.”
My mind went into a hell race. “Okay, so wait. How many kids did he have? Is Cathy from the same wife?” I went ballistic on asking very stupid questions, so far as to wonder if some of our family friends were related. Mom found all of that very amusing.
“Your papa had two girls with one wife. J and C, which he took great joy in joking that the two of us were jui-cy.” Ever lose an olive chunk out your nose? Cathy is my sister and your aunt, and I am your mother.” She got on her hands and knees to give me a don’t give a damn who sees kiss. “We both love you, both want you, and both cum very hard when you fuck us.”
That was about as point-blank as you can get, when I said mutual she cracked. “You are such a goof sometimes. Look past the wire, what do you see?”
It may have been gifted to me on my marriage, but land didn’t sit to waste. It had been rented out and furrows of newly planted seed ran in a geometric hedgerow to the horizon. “A lot of learning, you know I can’t grow mold never mind a crop. Mom, was the doc lying? Am I out of the hockey business? Is that why you brought me here?”
I got a knuckleball to the forehead.
“OWWWW!!”
“You were supposed to see new, old. In other words, you learned and lived. And now have an option if you decide to change.” She started to pack up and I felt bad like I’d blown it. “However.” My crotch was grabbed. “Like I told you. I didn’t masturbate. So it’s time to show you what you can’t see from the fence. Your gonna get wet.”
She didn’t say a damn word all the way to, and through the gate to ‘my’ piece of land. In the middle of what looked to me like acres upon acres of torn-up sod was a lake, not the size of Eerie, but not a fish pond either. Mom pointed out another feature too. The land had been graded so If you so felt inclined a house could be built to overlook the lake and acres.
The lake and the grade were all surrounded for a good hundred yards by grass and fruit trees, all of that was enclosed by a whiteboard fence. “Mom, this place is beautiful.”
“Go look at the lake, I have to change.” I got waved on when I asked into what and headed to the water. The closer I got the more emerald blue it got. The water was pristine and you could feel the coolness of it as you got closer. When I put my hand in I shuddered, it was spookily perfect in temperature, like Goldilocks ran the damn place.
“Feels good huh?”
“Scaringly soo… god damn mom!” What she had changed into was a mind blowing bikini. It wasn’t micro, and it wasn’t maxi, it had been built just for her. The triangles of fabric that held her breasts in place were perfectly wide enough to not show her areolas but slid right under her boob drop like loving hands. The one between her legs was a second skin, and that camel toe from the hospital was in dick-aching display.
The whole thing was made out of an iridescent type cloth that glited rainbows with every movement. On her feet? Flip-flops, and again, how the hell do you make a very un-sexy article of clothing hot??
“So? You like?”
“You could have any guy, anywhere, anytime. Your fucking perfect.”
“What a coincidence. I have the guy, in the right place, at the perfect time.” She gave me that succubus look again. “Now strip and get in the water.” She flipped her flops off sashaying by me while my pieces of clothing went everywhere (I still have a mental picture of that green-blue water sitting right at the bottom crease of her butt cheeks before they were enveloped). Basically, I acted like a dog leaping after a stick someone had tossed into a lake. You blame me?
We spent the next forty-five minutes frolicking like kids. She dunked me, I splashed her, we giggled and laughed and I spoke up. “Man, tell me I’m not a kid anymore!” Mom was a good ten feet away from me when I said that, and very slowly, with that look again, swam towards me. She kept her body off of mine but kissed me deep, slow, and passionately. Then her hand slid down to my cock.
“Okay, you are most definitely not a kid anymore. Your father couldn’t stay hard in this water, your throbbing, wanna make it worth my while son?”
“Most definitely mom. Very definitely.”
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