Seemingly the next instant she awoke to the familiar sound of her brother in the kitchen and that sweet aroma of fresh coffee brewing. She never could understand how Jeff always seemed to wake earlier than anyone. He had done so since they were young. She also had a hard time understanding how he could be up and productive after their session of drinking and romping the night before. She stirred inside the sleeping bag and was reminded of the taboo encounter by the slick dampness that lingered in the scant fabric of her thong. All at once she hopped up and snatched the lounge trousers she had shed the night before and bent forward to step into them. A quick glance toward the kitchen saw her brother sneaking a gaze at her ass while in the compromising position. She grinned to herself and hoisted the clothing over her hips.
“What’s for breakfast?” she said, sauntering over toward the table and sitting down.
“Just some eggs and sausage, I think. Didn’t want to create a big pile of dishes to clean up before we leave.”
Jeff stopped to pour a cup of coffee for his sister and walked over to set it in front of her. Katy looked up at him in a way that a schoolgirl might look at a crush walking by. She caught herself and thought that it must be the same look that Bethany had a distaste for since their sibling wedding dance. She smirked at the notion that, in the end, Bethany was right to grow weary of the bond that Katy and Jeff shared.
“Well I’m planning on enjoying it! It will probably be a while before a handsome man makes me breakfast again!” she replied, smiling as she hoisted the steaming cup to her lips.
“Oh, certainly not very long?” Jeff shot back at her before returning to the cooking.
Katy looked back toward the heap in front of the fireplace and then shot a look up toward the loft. She thought it a wise plan to roll them up before Bethany made an appearance.
She unzipped them back into two separate sleeping bags and grinned to herself when she saw the wet spot still underneath where she was sleeping as evidence of what happened. Soon enough she had them rolled and neatly strapped and returned to her spot at the table.
“Um… you better let me take them back to the house and wash them.” She said softly toward her brother. He looked toward her confused, but after seeing the look in her eyes, responded with a chuckle and began to plate out the morning meal.
“You think she’s the one who does the washing?” he said, pausing to grin while setting the plates down. “But you’re probably right anyway.
Katy rolled her eyes at that notion just as Bethany descended the stairs and sleepily sat herself down at the table. As much as Jeff was inclined to rise early, Bethany was not, and she sat and ate her breakfast and drank her coffee gingerly in relative silence. She also had the classic squint of someone who was fighting off a hangover as she seemed to be constantly adjusting to the light.
The trio finished eating and Jeff cleaned up the kitchen and took care of the sealing up the cabin for the remainder of winter while Katy and Bethany packed their things. Katy packed her luggage into the backseat of her brother’s truck, and upon reentering the cabin, found Bethany’s things stacked by the door while she sat on the sofa, engrossed in her customary phone scrolling. Katy glanced around searching for her brother, but seeing his long shadow moving across the window of the door to the back porch, she concluded he was closing the hot tub. With an annoyed grimace, she began to lug Bethany’s things out in the cold so her brother wouldn’t be left with it.
Soon enough they were all heading out into the snow toward the vehicle. Both Katy and her brother took one last look at the landscape and soaked it in. The taboo deeds of the previous night aside, concluding their first visit to cabin without their father both weighed heavily on their thoughts. Katy’s eyes scanned the lake one last time, the mid-morning sun was clear and the light reflected from the frozen lake in a way that was difficult to look at straight on. A tear was forming in the corner of her eye. She lifted her mitten covered hand to her face to wipe it away and suddenly felt her brother’s arm wrap around her.
After a moment in her brother’s embrace, Jeff spoke. “Let’s get home sis.”
She could tell from the waver in his voice that the moment was equally heavy for him and she slipped her arm around his back to return his side-embrace. The moment was cut short by the sound of the door of Jeff’s truck being shut with more than adequate force by Bethany. Katy rolled her teary eyes and the siblings made their way back into the truck for the drive back to civilization.
The ride back to the town where they all lived was no more comfortable for Katy than the ride up the mountain had been. The journey was prolonged by the frequency of stops that were requested by Bethany who was still recovering from the evening of drinking and not handling the trip well. It was while parked during one of these requested pit stops that Katy had the opportunity to talk to her brother in privacy.
“So…” she began as her brother peered up into the rear view mirror. “I was thinking of not going back for the spring term.”
Jeff turned around fully in his seat to look at her directly. The look on his face was the very same “concerned” look that their father had given them both on occasions where something didn’t meet his approval.
“Don’t look at me like that!” She quipped preemptively.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? It will be harder to start back up the longer you’re out.”
“Listen… I haven’t been able to focus since… well… since Dad died. It’s basically a train wreck in progress anyway.”
Jeff’s “dad look” persisted but he said nothing and allowed her to continue.
“Besides, I’ve got no debt, the house is paid for, I don’t really need anything at the moment and I’d like to focus on counseling before getting back to studies.” She stopped and locked eyes with him. His visage was one of a concerned guardian, much like when she was younger and he was watching over her. She continued, “And… I’ll be closer to you.”
The look in his eyes softened and the muscles in his face relaxed before he responded.
“You know I’d love nothing more than to have you around all the time… especially now… but are you sure that’s the smart play?” His eyebrow raised as if pleading with her to reconsider.
“Jeff, I’m not exactly asking your permission,” she said trying to suppress a mischievous grin. “As long as you want me around as much as I hope you do.”
“Oh God, Katy… you know I want you around. Even before… well… all that. I’m just trying to make sure you’re not making any rash decisions.”
Katy could hear the multiple tones in his voice. The familiar tones of support and genuine love were mixed and colored by the new tone of desire. But there was another that her senses detected that worried her. It felt like guilt was bleeding into his voice. She couldn’t tell if the guilt was over what had transpired between them the night before or if he thought that he had something to do with her not going back to school in the spring.
“You know that I was planning on taking the term off even before this trip… it’s got nothing to do with… us.”
It felt different using the term “us” to describe them. All at once she was bombarded by the multitude of real life impacts their continued trysts might cause. The thought bothered her but did nothing to reduce her desire for them to continue.
Jeff kept looking her in the eyes as if he could read everything she was thinking. Katy had never been able to hide much from him.
“Just wanted to be sure,” he said with a grin. His eyes softened into a sparkle and he reached his arm around the seat to lay his hand on her knee and give it a squeeze.
Their conversation was cut short by the return of Bethany. She climbed into the passenger seat, sunglasses donned and a fresh bottle of sports drink in hand.
“Please let’s go before I need to stop again,” she said in a quiet and pained voice.
If Katy had been marginally annoyed by Bethany’s voice prior to this trip, it had now grown into full-on loathing. She found herself having to intentionally control her facial expressions whenever she heard Bethany speak. Her taboo liaison with her brother only cemented the idea in her mind that Bethany didn’t deserve his devotion or the pleasure that he offered to her. Katy had to chide herself though, and wonder how much of her ire that Bethany earned and weigh it against any jealous feelings she now had since she and her brother had opened that door. She knew better than to think that she and her brother would ride off into the sunset and be a couple, but also could not deny that the desire for exactly that was beginning to take its first root in her heart.
By the time that Jeff had pulled his truck into the drive of their father’s house, Katy had already reasoned her way in and out of how things could and should play out several times. Each time she determined that pursuing any further “grief relief” sessions with her brother would be foolhardy, she would then remember the pure satisfaction and love she felt in his arms on the floor next to the fire. Then quickly thereafter she would find herself fighting off waves of guilt for allowing her grief and frustration to put her brother in a situation that would jeopardize his marriage and well-being.
Katy extricated her bag from the pile of luggage next to her and reached her arm around the driver’s seat to hug her brother. She didn’t even bother to check for any cross looks from Bethany as she felt his arm cover hers before she opened the door of the truck and stepped out into the cold. As she left the vehicle, her brother followed and brought the sleeping bags while Katy dug out her house keys from their place in her pocket.
Her brother helping her carry things was not something that Jeff hadn’t done many times over in the past. Their father had raised them both to be helpful and considerate and especially hammered that ideal into Jeff. Katy thought to herself that Bethany must not have received similar instruction. But this time felt more personal. The sly grin he wore while he followed her to the door belied the burgeoning level of closeness that they had begun to experience the night prior. Katy felt her heart flutter even at this simple gesture in its new light.
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