“Have you thought about what you’ll do if you drop out of university?” He asked.
I toyed with my glass. Part of me was grateful someone had changed the subject. Another part of me wanted to talk about sex.
“No. Not really.
Porn star perhaps.” I said thinking about Mom looking at my Reddit account.
“You’ll need a bit more experience than masturbation to go into porn.” She said.
I looked up. That wasn’t exactly the response I’d expected. Stuart was quiet again. Just watching. He did that a lot. It was his way of knowing a person. Watch their reactions. I knew that much about psychology from my mom. And he’d already proven he could read me.
“It was a joke.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll support you whatever you choose.”
Was this my mom? It was as though she’d been swooped up by aliens and replaced with a doppelgänger.
“Even if it was porn?”
Note to self. Don’t drink in front of Mom. Where I should be accepting an escape from the conversation I was bringing myself back into it.
“I told you. I’ve seen your Reddit posts.” She grinned.
Again I sat stunned.
“They weren’t that bad were they?”
She shrugged.
“Good, I would have said.”
Christ. I was being praised for my masturbation techniques. I didn’t have an answer to that. I looked at Stuart and turned crimson.
“Have you seen them as well?”
He nodded.
I expected to be horrified at his confession. Instead, I tingled with excitement I shouldn’t have felt.
“Fuck.”
“You don’t like that your mom has seen them. That’s understandable. But you’re not ashamed. That’s good. It shows you have a positive attitude to your body. And to sex.
Couple that with your personality type and you could be better at porn than you imagine.
You just need a little guidance and practice.”
“I get plenty enough practice, thank you.”
Was he offering?
“I imagine you have plenty of opportunities at the university?”
“Enough.”
“And do you experiment?”
I looked at Mom through my alcoholic haze. She was silent. More enthralled with the actions of the hand moving under her top. I wondered how much she experimented.
“Depends what you mean by experiment.”
It wasn’t really a question but he answered anyway. Pushing me to spill my secrets.
“Being tied up? Giving over control?”
I hesitated.
“Just my hands. I’ve let guys tie my hands to the bed.”
“A little then.
It’s thrilling to have a man touch you while you can do nothing about it isn’t it.”
I squirmed, cursing a pussy under my skirt that was getting increasingly wet.
“Yeah. A little.”
Fuck me it was thrilling. I’d have done it right that moment if I could. My mouth kept talking.
“One guy. He tied me to the bed with my bra and fed me his cock for hours. Wouldn’t untie me when I needed a pee. He made me do it in a jug. I called him everything but it was so fucking hot to have a guy watch me pee.”
I squirmed at the memory. He’d been one of the few I’d invited back for a repeat performance.
“And have you ever been with a girl?”
“No.”
I knew my face had given me away and drunk lying was impossible.
“Well.
I have this friend at uni. Helen. We were on a night out and wanted to impress some boys. We had our clothes on and everything, but we smooched.”
I hesitated.
“And I might have dry-humped her leg.”
“Did you cum?”
I looked at Mom as she asked, looking inexplicably excited by the idea. I pulled an embarrassed face.
“I might have.
Okay. Yeah. I did.
But it wasn’t a lesbian thing. Just … too much enthusiasm.”
“And what about other things?” Stuart pressed.
“Have you discovered anal yet?”
I shook my head before my thoughts caught up. I’d answered that without intending to. And at least this was one I could deny with honesty.
“No.”
I looked at the wine and cursed its ability to loosen my tongue.
“Scares me a little. There’s a story going around about one girl who did it and ended up in Emergency because it tore her. I don’t know if it’s true though.
I’m just not keen on having my ass stitched back together.”
“Happens.” Stuart said honestly.
“If you do it wrong. The secret is lubrication and relaxation.”
“Once everything is stretched it can be amazing.” Mom added to my shock.
“You do it?”
“Yes. All the time. You should practice with a butt plug.”
Christ. I’d expected this to be a convo I had with Helen. Not my Mom.
“I have one of those. I use it sometimes when I’m with a guy taking it from behind.”
My cheeks were burning but I couldn’t shut up.
“It’s hot. The idea of being penetrated in both holes at once.”
“Then you’re halfway there.” Stuart said.
I stared at him as I sobered a little. I’d just told a man I hardly knew my deepest secrets. And worse. I’d told my Mom. She was proving to be nothing I’d ever imagined about her. I didn’t generally think about my Mom having sex. That was supposed to be gross. But when I did it certainly didn’t involve her taking a cock in her ass. But then I’d never imagined I’d be sitting there watching her squirm while her tits were played with.
My eyes went back there. Her dress was unhooked from her shoulder and as he squeezed, her fleshy mound rose up. I saw the upper ring of her areola peek out. I stared.
“Does that feel nice?” I asked.
I could feel my mouth watering. If they’d leapt on me at that moment I don’t think I could have controlled myself.
“It does.”
Mom smiled and I looked away.
I put my glass down with an unintentional clunk. I was feeling so horny and worried about what else might pass my lips if I spoke with any more alcohol clouding my head.
“You know. This week isn’t turning out quite how I thought it would.”
“Well. We’re all adults now. No harm in discussing these things.” She said.
“The birds and bees for advanced students.” I laughed.
I sipped more of the wine, noticing Stuart’s eyes firmly fixed on my legs. I felt the rush of a thrill and sort of accidentally brushed my hand over my lap to pull the skirt higher.
My heart beat faster knowing I was perhaps an inch away from exposing my damp panties. Unconsciously my knees parted. Now he could see. My eyes went back to Mom, just as she crossed her legs the other way. I saw her thighs, all the way up, shapely and smooth. And for a split second, I saw her crotch. There were no panties.
“I should go to bed.” I said putting my glass down.
A moment’s sense had come to me.
“I’m gonna have one hell of a headache in the morning.”
I locked my door as soon as I was in and took a deep breath. I was burning up. A fire that came from between my legs to consume me. I tore away my skirt and panties before falling onto the bed with an overwhelming desire to make myself cum.
I snatched a pillow and pushed it beneath me. Clamping my thighs around it I started grinding myself against it, rubbing my clit on the material.
“Oh fuck.”
I was panting, pressing hard against the source of my pleasure. I reached up, stretching to grab the head of the bed.
“Uhhh.”
My grinding became a frenzied humping as my mind was filled with images of Mom and Stuart. His hand on her tit. The tiny glimpse of her smooth pussy.
I was lost to my urges. Twisting and rubbing my tits against the bed to make my nipples ache.
“Mmmh.”
My head swam with alcohol and erotic thoughts as my ass went up and down with a frantic vigor. I felt so damn good as the pressure built toward a crescendo. I gripped the bed frame harder and imagined being tied while Stuart fucked me.
“Uh. Uh. Uh.”
Is that what he did to Mom? Did he tie her down ever? Was that another likeness between us I was yet to experiment with fully?
“Oh fuck.”
My hips were doing overtime. Grinding and humping.
When it came, it was all-consuming. Euphoric.
“Uh, my fucking god.”
My legs shuddered and weakened as my groin exploded, snapping like a coiled spring. Ecstasy raced through my limbs and up my spine, sapping every last drop of pent-up energy from me.
“Fuck.” I gasped taking deep breaths.
When I finally sat up and checked myself I was soaked in my juice. My fingers wiped up a little and I tasted myself. I kinda liked the taste when I was horny. I instantly wondered if Helen tasted that good. Christ, was I becoming a lesbian? Drink less, I ordered myself. Before you do something stupid.
I looked again at the mess between my legs. A puffy wet pussy covered in juice and sweat. I needed to go clean up. For that, I pulled on my skirt and headed out onto the landing. Just my luck that Mom was coming up the stairs.
“You okay honey?” She asked, her eyes glam ring me up and down.
“Yeah. Just need a pee.”
She grinned knowingly and I colored up.
“It gets me like that as well.”
I was so glad I was still numbed with alcohol that my mom guessing I’d just masturbated didn’t send me into a gibbering wreck.
“I’m sure you’ll sleep fine now.”
I froze momentarily and my eyes turned sideways to avoid looking at her.
“I will. Thanks.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. We all do it.”
I escaped to the bathroom before it could get any more awkward. I sat on the toilet and put my head in my hands as the sound of my pee hitting the water echoed in my ears.
The room span and nausea refrained me from the horror of reliving the evening’s conversation. No more drinking or I would find myself doing something very stupid.
Oh shit. I suddenly realised I was topless. In my alcohol infused state I’d only pulled a skirt on. I’d need to make a dash for it when I was certain Stuart was behind a closed door.
Permissions and Struggles
“How are you finding Stuart? He’s wonderful isn’t he.”
My head still hurt from last night and having breakfast laid out in front of me wasn’t doing wonders for my stomach. I stuck with the coffee.
“Yeah. He’s okay.
Seems good for you.”
“Oh, he is.
He’s so positive about everything. Makes me realize how repressed I was before.”
I looked at my mother. I’d never seen her in just a dressing gown this late in the morning. She was someone who dressed as soon as she got out of bed. Now here she was lazing around, naked except for that gown. Not once this past few days had she been keen on dressing early. Or in anything restrictive. This was a woman who constantly looked prepped for a meeting. She always wore a bra. She hadn’t once this week.
I thought back to that first evening. What I’d heard her say through the door.
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