I could not tell Magda what was going on, but she could feel there was definitely something wrong between her daughter and me.
At some point, she decided to intervene… she decided she was going to talk to her daughter and try to clarify the whole issue – looking back, I understand that Magda had already some grasp of the situation and that it was something she already thought and acted upon many years ago. Agda spilled the beans out and told her everything. She said that since the first day she saw me, she knew I was the man of her life, that she could never love another man, and that she tried to go out with other boys, to do therapy, but nothing worked. She said she was very sorry, she would leave home and try to find a solution on her own, that this was not fair to her mother, who, she knew, loved Z dearly, and that she understood that Z did not see her in that way, but, at the same time she was desperate, she needed help.
To Agda´s astonishment, since she was expecting disappointment or even tough words from her mother, Magda said: “I know that for years… I was expecting that maybe it would go away, maybe you could find someone else, but I always knew that Z was the man in your heart”
“But mom…”, tried Agda.
“I don´t have answers for you now Agda, but one thing I know for sure – you don´t get to leave this house; this is your place, this is where you are protected and cherished, this is where your life is…”
“I will ponder a little better on the situation, but, right now, let me call Z so we can all talk together, as a family.”
“But mom…”, said the feeble Agda, but left the sentence unfinished.
Magda came to my room and did a brief summary of the whole situation. She asked me to go to Agda´s room so we could discuss the matter in a more sensible way.
Magda started talking: “Z, Agda, I know one thing in my life, and one thing only: you both are the love of my life; that means that the three of us cannot go their own way; we belong together. I am not impressed or surprised by what Agda is going through, I would rather have her married to someone else, to have a new member in the family, but I can understand what happened, and there is no going back.” She continued: “Guys, think about that: the two of you were always together, even more than Z and I; moreover, you never cease to talk, to discuss, to have interest in each other. When we were driving in our car, Agda was most of the time the one on the front seat; when we were watching movies, Agda laid her head on your chest, caressing it; she was always holding you, kissing you and respecting your opinions like no one, including myself.”
While my wife was so deeply pondering on our lives, I, on the other hand, was totally surprised, feeling a mix of shame and also impotent for making Agda´s life a simpler one. This was a mess!
Magda continued: “I don’t know yet the solution for this situation, but there is something I would like to ask you both. Please, go back to the way that you were before; maybe not exactly because there is sexual tension or awkwardness between you two, but you guys must go back to surfing together, to seeing movies together…” I tried to interrupt, but Magda raised her hand and continued – “I know, especially for Z, this is going to be awkward; Agda will caress you, she will throw her legs on to you and tease you as she has always done, but this time you will start thinking of her as a woman, not a child any longer. Things will develop the way they should – maybe Agda will get tired of it, maybe Z will start to avoid this physical contact but, just but, maybe… something else happens…”
I protested: “Magda, this is not the relationship I am looking for; I want things to be back to the way it was before…” I know I sounded like a spoiled kid. Magda was sharp “There is no going back, and I know that you want the three of us together as much as I do”, and added: “We love each other and everything that will or will not happen is a consequence of our love.”
Magda, in her infinite wisdom, started to give us more space, leaving us alone most of the time. In the beginning, I was very angry with her, and I felt used, but, with time, I could understand where she was coming from. Slowly, Agda and I started to spend more time together again.
Once Agda and I, were watching a movie together and she was laying her head on my chest, like she always did; but, without a warning, I sarted having an arousal… I tried to disguise it with a blanket, but it was obvious. Agda was very careful not to scare me or to make me more uncomfortable than I already was, but she carefully said: “Z, that´s OK… I know you are not feeling at ease with this erection, but this means something…”. Damn, I was being lectured by a 40 years younger girl! She continued: “Do you think you would be my first choice in life? Can´t you see I am suffering? I didn´t choose you! I don´t want to disrupt our family! I know you don´t want me and that you love my mom…” And she left the TV room running and crying, without another remark.
I went after her. She was lying in her bed, crying her heart out… I caressed her hair and said: “Agda I have no idea what to do… I don’t think I will be able to see you like anything but my daughter… but, at the same time, yes you do move something inside of me… you, I, have switched something inside my mind that I don´t think I can ever change back now… I definitely don’t want to hurt you… and you must know that, just like your mom, you are also the love of my life… there is just nothing more important in my life…”. She then hugged me and started kissing me, I couldn’t resist and kissed her back… in a light manner, but, there were tongues involved… it was not yet a passionate kiss, but it was something more than a parent would do. We continued to hug, and we started to talk again, like we usually do, and finally started to laugh a bit, about us, about what the future reserved for us, and about our crazy story; the important thing is that our connection was back – we were like we have always been, best buddies, accomplices in life.
Magda knew that something would change; she understood our pain and was very thoughtful about what was happening. One day she took me by the arm to talk: “Z as you know I have never said yes to marrying you, for all those years; I’m sure you don’t fully understand it and, frankly, neither do I, not really. I can tell you though, that I had a sixth sense, I could tell that Agda felt towards you something more than a friendship. I do not know how to explain it, but I could feel that the connection you guys have always had was something uncommon, I would say, abnormal in fact. Think about that: you cannot stop talking when you are together… you are 40 years her senior but you share a lot of her activities; she never had a boyfriend, she was always interested in being with you and you forgot about your friends and only cared about making sure she was happy. Don’t get me wrong, I am not jealous, I think it is possibly the most beautiful relationship I have ever seen; maybe this is something related to previous lives, maybe it’s because of our love, I don’t know… but I do know that I couldn’t make myself to take the final decision to marry you… it’s like she was the one deserving to have the chance, not me…”
“Magda, but this is too strange… I mean, you are my woman, you are my partner…”
“Z, I will still be all those things, but we will need to be prepared to live a different life, maybe even left our beloved town and the life we have here…”
Needless to say I was very disturbed by Magda´s words…
Never is too much to remind the reader that I have a weak point when beautiful women soles are involved… I loved Magda and worshiped her body, but her soles really have always driven me mad. Agda, on the other hand, was a bit on the thin side, less voluptuous, although really fit and strong. And, come to think of it, I have never really noticed her feet and soles before… I mean, I still remember the day when she was drunk and asked me to lick her soles, but the images were not very clear.
As I was mulling over those thoughts, I passed by Agda´s room… it was dark, but I could see she was lying down in her bed… with bare legs and her pretty ass up in the air. wearing very slim panties… and then I noticed… her soles… OMG, they were not compatible with the thinner body she had… those were strong soles, soft, and very white… I started to walk into her room… hard as a rock (what was going on with me?)… and sit down on the bed, close to her feet… I was fascinated…I wanted to touch her…but I couldn’t bring myself to do it… I mean, this is betrayal… isn’t it? Or not? Could I? Should I? I think Agda woke up and understood the dilemma that was going through… she perfectly knew how I felt about her soles at that point… and her mother´s soles… she moved her legs a bit in such a way that her right leg and feet were on my lap… It was starting to be impossible to resist… she then raised her feet and the soles were 30cm from my face… there was no coming back from it, I knew it… she knew it… she said: “…I know you love my soles.. Z, lick them…”… I couldn’t resist any longer…
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