Just this Once by forgotmyantidepressants

Just this Once by forgotmyantidepressants

Mackenzie

I emptied almonds into a glass container, the nuts making a loud noise as they hit the bottom. The bright summer sun filtered through the kitchen windows, highlighting the patterns in the marble countertop. After sealing the container, I packed it in my backpack along with my water bottle, collapsible insect net, sketch pad, and pencils. I was filled with excitement as I stowed away the almonds, knowing it was going to be a great day with hot and sunny weather. I was looking forward to seeing Danaus plexipuss and Papilio glaucus butterflies among the milkweed plants, sipping on nectar. I couldn’t wait to sit outside and sketch the beautiful butterflies in the leather bound sketchbook my Grandma had given me. It was the perfect way to enjoy a leisurely summer afternoon.

“Are you fucking kidding me with those pants?”

I turned away from the cabinet, my step-brother Adam sneering as he stepped into the kitchen and tossed a red t-shirt on the counter before pulling open the fridge. Only a few more weeks of his obnoxious presence and then he’d go back to school for football training camp. I’d chosen a school out of state to get as far away from him and our parents as I could. My mother tolerated my geeky naturalist tendencies, but Adam and his father were a constant source of teasing and ridicule.

I did my best to ignore his half-naked body, instead zipping up my backpack and moving to the bench by the garage door to pull on my hiking boots. Adam pulled three hard boiled eggs and a bottle of water out of the fridge, slamming it shut before turning to set his snack on the counter. The sunlight coming in brought out the subtle auburn tones of his chestnut chair. Maybe it was a good thing he was such a douchebag. My step-brother was hot.

The sneer faded from his pouty lips as he peeled an egg and popped it into his mouth. His hazel eyes fell to my chest as I leaned over to tie a bootlace. My cheeks flushed hot and I buttoned my tan work shirt up to the collar.

Adam snorted. “I can’t believe I have to drive forty-five minutes to take you to some stupid park so you can look at bugs. Your Mom is an asshole for not making you get a driver’s license.”

I pulled my other boot on. “Don’t call my Mom an asshole. I can’t believe she lets you come back here after all that shit you pulled your Senior year. If anybody’s an asshole, it’s you and your friends for destroying my Mom’s house.”

He cracked another egg on the edge of the counter, thick cords of muscle in his bare arms making him look like a statue of a Greek god. They were douchebags, too.

“Last time I checked, my Dad’s name is on the deed,” he said before popping the whole egg into his mouth.

“That’s because my mom is a backwards dipshit. This was our house before you losers moved in,” I snapped, clutching my backpack over my chest.

His sneer returned as he reached for his last egg.

My mother had horrible taste in men. It was her greatest flaw. I vowed to never marry after her second husband ran off with the nanny she’d hired to babysit me while he lifted weights in the basement. Greg was her third husband. With him, came the horrible Adam, who’d made my life hell until he’d gone away to college last year.

Adam closed his eyes as he downed his water bottle, and I couldn’t help but appreciate his tall, muscular physique. The waistband of his underwear poked out of his white athletic shorts and I tore my eyes away. Rumor had it that Adam had a huge cock. Girls, and a few guys, had teased me about it all throughout high school.

He threw the bottle away and pulled on his t-shirt.

“The recycling is right next to the garbage can! I swear you and Greg do this shit just to piss me off.” I stood and strode over to the stainless steel garbage can, my boots heavy on the floor.

Adam rolled his eyes as I fished the empty plastic bottle out and threw it in the proper receptacle. My mother was supportive of my conservation efforts, but she refused to stop buying big packs of single use plastic water bottles.

He shuffled over to the bench, grabbing a set of car keys off a hook before flopping down on the bench. “Let’s get this over with.”

###

I scrolled through my phone, searching for happy music to blast on my way to do something I loved while Adam slipped back inside the house for his running shoes. There was a mile-long gravel path that looped around the park, and Adam decided he wanted to go for a jog as soon as he opened the car door. I settled on an indie band known for using mandolins, acoustic guitars, and banjos, closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the headrest as my brain released a rush of endorphins at the twangy melody. The mechanism in the driver’s side door clicked, making me jump.

Adam tossed his shoes in the backseat and flopped inside, reaching behind for his seat belt. “We’re not listening to this Renaissance Fair bullshit. Pick something else.”

I rolled my eyes as I picked up my phone, wracking my brain trying to think of something we’d both enjoy as he pressed the garage door opener he’d taped to the dashboard of his old, but reliable, Honda CRV. Adam liked heavy metal, so I picked Black Sabbath. It wasn’t my favorite, but who can’t appreciate Ozzy? He didn’t say a word as his pretty eyes flickered up to the rearview mirror, one hand on the wheel and the other reaching over to grip my headrest. He backed out into the sunlight and I couldn’t help but smile. There was a particular patch of milkweed hidden a quarter of a mile off the main path and I suspected the butterflies wouldn’t be able to resist.

“How come you don’t want a driver’s license? You think everybody should just drop everything and grab their keys every time you want to go somewhere?” He stopped, checking for oncoming traffic before backing onto the main road and putting the car in drive.

“I’m trying to keep my carbon footprint as low as possible. Our society is addicted to fossil fuels.”

Adam scoffed. “And one less driver on the road is going to solve climate change?”

I should’ve known better than to take the bait. He was just looking for something to argue about. But the way the sunlight brought out the subtle red-gold highlights in his beautiful hair made me grind my teeth in frustration. Why did my mom have to marry Greg? Adam’s life as Mr. Touchdown USA would be no different and I would’ve been perfectly happy admiring him from afar in the science labs at school with all the other nerds.

I sighed. “It’s about setting a precedent. I’m trying to lead by example.”

That time he laughed; a haughty bark of mocking laughter sending a ripple of embarrassment over me. “Who do you think you are, Mackenzie? Nobody gives a shit if some airhead eighteen year old girl from Ohio won’t get a driver’s license because global warming is bad.”

I ignored him, rolling down the window so the summer air could rush over me, lifting my dark blonde hair off my shoulders. I gathered it into a messy bun and secured it at the top of my head, tensing when I caught Adam watching me out of the corner of his eye. I kept my eyes on the woods as we raced past. In all honesty, it was kind of sick. Farmers had stopped working this land generations ago, slowly selling parcels of property to wealthy people who wanted to pretend they lived in the country. I leaned forward, turning up the music and shuddering at an ugly housing development on my right.

“Is Danny gonna miss you in Kent?” asked Adam.

I shook my head. “What are you talking about? He was ecstatic when he got into the fashion program. It’s one of the best in the country.”

“But you’re his girlfriend. Studying biology at freaking Rutgers.” He failed to hide the contempt in his voice. “I can’t believe you convinced Greg and Pamela to let you go to school out of state. I guess they’d have to drive you to any school, though. You being a freshman and all.”

I bristled. “I didn’t have to convince them of anything. My mom told me I could go to school wherever I wanted and your dad wanted me as far away as possible. That’s the only thing he and I have ever agreed on.”

Adam chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “He never tried to hide it. Dick.”

My mouth dropped open and I snuck a peek at him, aloof and relaxed as he drove us along a freshly paved back road, the smell of asphalt making my stomach churn. I’d never heard him say anything derogatory about his dad in all the years I’d known him. Not ever.

I closed my mouth and rolled up the window, pretending like I hadn’t heard that. A very tiny, very pathetic part of me appreciated his acknowledgement of his Dad’s dickishness. I loved my mom with all my heart, but she’d always ignored Greg’s bullshit.

Even with Ozzy going off the rails, the silence between the two of us grew long and awkward. I didn’t mind, preferring uncomfortable silences to uncomfortable conversations in all circumstances, but Adam couldn’t stand it.

“Are you and Danny gonna try and do the long distance thing?” he asked, eyes on the road as he slowed to a stop, the red on the sign faded from years in the elements.

“You don’t know Danny’s gay?”

He arched his eyebrows and turned toward me, genuine amusement lighting up his face. “What?”

I nodded, fiddling with a zipper on my cargo pants. “Our whole relationship was a farce to keep his religious nutjob parents off his back. He had to fight to get their approval to go to Kent for freaking fashion of all things. Said he wanted to bring a Christian perspective to the fashion industry. They wanted him to go to some Bible college in Pennsylvania.”

“Wow.” Adam rubbed the back of his head, the car accelerating. “There’s tons of gay guys down in Kent. He’s gonna have the time of his life.”

“I hope he does,” I said. “He’s had a hell of a time hiding from his parents for years.”

“So you’ve been pretending to be his girlfriend for all that time?”

“Of course. He’s my best friend.”

Adam actually smiled, a single dimple in his right cheek making me swoon. “You’re a good person.”

I looked away, scanning the landscape around me, begging the trees, houses, and other gas guzzling vehicles to distract me from the hottie in the driver’s seat. A strange sort of happiness bubbled up within me at his praise. “Thanks.”