Dinner went well. Who would have thought that an old guy like Clarence could eat a 16oz prime, a large bake potato, steamed corn and still want dessert? The cost didn’t matter to me, I simply found myself amazed at the mans appetite. I guess once a farm boy always a farm boy. Speaking of farm, we followed him to the homestead. He hadn’t exaggerated one bit. The buildings were definitely in need of repairs and the house was seriously outdated. Clean, but outdated. Once again, I let Elka do the talking, hell, I didn’t need to be in charge. We would talk it through later anyway.
As they sat on the porch haggling about price I walked around looking into the out buildings. By the way, that porch was something we had always dreamed of. It was three sided and deep, probably eight feet from the edge of the porch to the house. It was obvious that the barn hadn’t housed any animals in a very long time. I saw a half dozen barn cats and there was likely another half dozen hiding. Looking in the old machine shed I saw a Farmall M sitting to the side with flat tires all the way around. Since I was familiar with it from my boyhood farm job days I stepped inside to look at it more closely.
Little did I know the treasure awaiting me. To the back of the building behind the tractor sat an old car. I wasn’t sure what it was until I was within ten feet. Those were the taillights of a ’56 Chevy. My heart was racing as I tried to see what condition it was in under a blanket of pigeon manure and dust. It didn’t look beat up or rotted out. The tires were flat, I assumed it must have been sitting a long time. I was walking on air as I made my way back to the porch. Elka stood, put her arms around my neck and gave me quick peck.
“Guess what Romeo, if you’re in agreement we’re gonna buy this place. Lock, stock and barrel. It’s ours when Clarence moves next month.”
I was giddy as a school kid. “Does that include the tractor in the shed?” Clarence nodded. “And what about the ’56 Chevy, is that included?”
Clarence sat forward, “You don’t want that son. Belonged to my boy, he ruined the engine, been sittin in the shed for over 30 years. It’s junk, I’ll call Stewart the junk picker to come get it.”
I wasn’t about to let that car get away, “No sir. I want it. I’ll pay you double what the junk guy will.”
He stared at me, looked at Elka who nodded and spoke, “That’d be four hundred smackeroos son, sure you wanna do that?”
I reached for my wallet, pulled out four crisp hundred dollar bills and handed them to him with the comment, “Damn right I’m sure. Baby, we got us a 1956 Chevy. Always wanted an old car, now I’ll have one.”
Clarence jumped in, “Yeah but the motors no good.”
I laughed, “There are lots of engines out there, and tires and anything else it might need. It will be a good winter project.”
He laughed,” It’s good to see you young love birds excited about livin here.”
Elka and I stared at one another longer than normal and then turned away. We shook hands, Clarence said he would contact his lawyer in the morning, we agreed to have $30,000 in escrow along with the offer to purchase. Using his lawyer would save us money and it made sense. The ride back to the motel was quiet, neither said a word until we were getting out of the truck.
“Lars, will you get me a bag of chips from the machine, I feel like something salty. Oh, and a DP to, I’ll share it with you.”
By the time I was back at the room she was in a nightie removing makeup getting ready for bed. I took a whiz and walked to my side of the room. Without thinking I was undressed to my underwear when I heard a soft “a-hmm”.
“You do realize you just undressed in front of me don’t you?” Elka asked.
I grabbed my laptop, slid between the sheets sitting with my back against the headboard.
“Yup, I know. I didn’t think it was an issue, after all you met me at the door half dressed and thought nothing of it.”
Sitting next to me on the bed she reached across my body, closed the laptop and announced.
“We need to talk. Aren’t you curious as to what I agreed to pay for the farm?”
I chuckled, “Oh yeah. That’s right, we bought a farm didn’t we? Okay, how much?”
She sat close with her feet tucked under her butt. “It’s 270 acres, 240 of it tillable. All but thirty is rented out, he used to run beef on that 30 acres. The house needs a new septic field and the well water is horrible. When the city did improvements for future housing they ran water in front of his property. We can hook up to that which will take care of the nasty smelling water. There are plumbers in town who can contract to have a new leech bed put in for the septic. The furnace is 42 years old and the house hasn’t seen a lick of paint since his wife died a decade ago.”
I was staring at her, “Holy shit El, what the hell did we get ourselves into?”
“Yeah, see, those were all the things we were haggling about while you were in the sheds. He said one of the real estate firms offered him two seventy-five as is. I brought up all the repairs needed and the fact that we were cash customers, not developers. No surveys, no inspections, no waiting for a mortgage approval, no dealing with lawyers for huge land developers. Then I offered him two twenty.”
“Well he obviously said yes since you two were shaking hands when I walked up.” I said.
“He did. He will be out by the time his month is over. You and I are going to live in the apartment above the store until he’s out and we’ve made the necessary upgrades and taken care of the water and septic.”
I sat back, “Where are we money wise with all this buying stuff?”
She yawned and spoke, “We’ll still have over a million in the bank and when we sell the house we can add to that. Don’t forget lover boy, this store is going to make us money.”
I looked at her and asked, “Lover boy?”
“Get used to it.” She said. “It will be the way we live from here on. Remember, we’re Mr. and Mrs. Stanley. I need to sleep, can’t the computer stuff wait until morning?”
It could. I watched as she moved away from me, then stopped and leaned close. “You’re supposed to kiss your wife goodnight. Pucker up buttercup.”
With the lights out and the sound of her soft breathing I lay in the dark with my mind moving at warp speed. How was she so comfortable with the situation? Furthermore, why was I so reticent in letting her know my true feelings. But wait, she’s my sister. Oh my, what a mess my mind is, I need to find clarity, and soon. Sleep eventually found me although it was already the early hours of morning before it did. I awoke to her moving about the room trying to get ready for the day. When she noticed my eyes were open she flopped onto the bed next to me laying on her tummy with her hands under her chin.
“You were sleeping hard, was it a rough night?” I silently nodded. “Well I slept great. What was worrying you?”
I moved to opposite edge of the bed trying to get from beneath the covers and go pee but she grabbed my arm.
“I’m serious lars. What kept you awake?”
I leaned toward her, kissed the top of her head and whispered, “I don’t think you would understand, now please, I need to pee like a racehorse.”
I hadn’t given thought to the fact that I was sporting morning wood, when I stood I realized it all too late. I quickly looked down to see Elka’s face buried in her hands as she giggled like a 12-year-old. In my haste I hadn’t grabbed clean underwear or clothes to dress in, thinking I needed to just bite the bullet and just go get those items I heard a knock on the door. Opening it slightly she handed me a pair of underwear and my jeans.
“Thanks, I forgot them.” I said.
She smiled, “That’s why you need a wife.”
Eating breakfast at the diner an older lady approached the table, introduced herself as Ruth, then smiled and asked.
“So how are you two love birds this morning?”
I was silent, Elka looked at me, then the lady, before she said softly, “As much in love as we’ve ever been. Thanks for asking. What is it that you do Ruth?”
“I’m semi-retired. I worked as a chef for thirty years, moved back here to take care of mother. Who sadly passed away last year. Now I do an occasional catering job but mostly sit on my butt and watch the world go by. After years in a hot crowded kitchen sitting on the porch feels pretty darned good.”
I hadn’t as yet spoken to Elka about the conversation I’d had with Cindy the day before. I was grinning to myself as Ruth walked away. Elka jabbed me in the ribs.
“What’s so funny?” She asked.
“Not here. We can talk at the store. I want to be there right away when Clarence opens. If we leave now we can get there on time walking. What do you think, should we walk to work today?”
Her brows were furrowed and her eyes squinted when she asked, “Are you gonna hold my hand like a good husband?”
My mind was racing, think quick Lars, think quick. “How about this, you can take my arm going and I’ll hold your hand walking back later.”
She smiled, “Yeah, that’ll work. Let’s go.”
The breakfast had come to just under thirteen dollars. I tossed a twenty on the table, got our waitress attention, pointed to the money and called out. “Thanks.”
She nodded and waved goodbye as she took another order. Elka was in her glory as we walked along, greeting folks, rubbing her breast against my arm and acting all lovey dovey. I was in deep shit and I knew it, there would be no way I could keep my hands off her long term. Just before we reached the store she stopped, as we looked at each other she spoke.
“Let’s make a rule. How about you take care of the nuts and bolts and all that stuff. You set up the computers and all that junk but let me run the store in general. I know what people want and let’s face it, you’ve never been a people person. One more thing, neither of us makes a purchase or deal over a thousand bucks without talking to the other. That way we’re accountable to each other.”
I gave it about thirty seconds of thought and agreed. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and said.
“Great, lets go make some money.”
The next week seemed to fly by. We were looking forward to the time we could get contractors involved to upgrade and make the old farmhouse comfy for the upcoming winter months. Most days we spent time on the floor talking with folks, getting to know what was where and what it might be used for. Elka had electricians in right away to install new lighting, what a difference, one could actually see what was on the shelves.
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