I preferred winding down with reading, yet whenever I tried to pick up a book, I found myself doomscrolling my Twitter feed. Instead of my usual diet of documentaries and PBS shows, I got hooked on some silly reality thing on Bravo. Rather than my usual day spent learning, I found myself wandering around the neighborhood, enjoying the scenery around me.
Kevin and I were both busy with our own lives, so we didn’t see each other. Yet, it didn’t feel like we were distant. If anything, I felt closer to my little brother than ever before. I thought of him, constantly. Everything I encountered reminded me of him in some way.
So yeah, I didn’t study. Didn’t review my notes or even crack open a book. I just let the hours race by, like there was nothing but time in the world and I needed to spend it as wastefully as possible.
By Wednesday afternoon, right before the test, I was conscious enough to know I’d screwed up. By Thursday I was aware enough to feel guilty about my wasted weekend. Finally, on Friday, when the test results were posted — that’s when cold, hard reality finally kicked back in.
Still when I looked at the screen and saw my grade, that didn’t make it any less shocking. My whole life, I’d looked for steep angles and sharp points. Hard, perpendicular lines that formed my forever mark of success.
But what I saw instead was this strange curvy thing. All lumpy and rounded. Misshapen and odd looking, like someone had strapped a couple pillows to a lamppost: B.
Not even a B, actually, a B-. How that little stupid line could make it all so much worse I can’t explain. But it did. B was for better. Build. Bright. B-, well, there’s no word that starts that way. It’s just an ugly mark on the page.
I told myself it wasn’t bad. That one grade on one test wasn’t going to be even slightly noticeable in my final GPA, let alone my ability to achieve my dreams. B is for bump. A little thing, truly, that’s easily overcome.
By the time I’d closed my laptop, I was ashamed. When I got back to my car to leave the school, I was freaking out. And so, when 2am rolled around and I finally found my way back home, I was drunk. Very, very drunk.
Like a lot of things around that time, I’d tumbled into it. On my drive home from getting my grade, I called one of my closest friends at school, another pre-med girl named Brooke. In confidence, I told her that I hadn’t done as well on the test as I wanted. She’d given me a disbelieving snort, but she was a good friend and stayed supportive.
Brooke knew about a frat party happening that night on campus and, in my weakness, I agreed. I turned my car around and headed to Brooke’s place. We pregamed at her dorm room before we headed over. I’d been to a few of those things, and they were all the same. Loud music. Louder bros. They even had the little red Solo cups.
I told myself to be careful. That a frat party was not a good place to lose control. I got sloshed anyway. The dizzying effects of the week before and that awful, ugly grade combined to help me throw caution to the wind.
Fortunately, Brooke had my back. As soon as she realized I’d had more than enough, she grabbed my arm and helped me limp back out into the cool, night air. The stars bright; the ground spinny. I think I threw up in a bush. I’m not totally sure about that part.
If this all sounds a bit unclear, that’s probably because it was for me, as well. A lot of these are details that other people filled in for me later. Apparently, Brooke tried to bring me back to her dorm room to sleep it off, but I vehemently refused. So, instead, my friend dumped me into her car and drove me home.
*
If that part before is a bit dim, the rest of it is straight up dark.
All I know is, I woke up in my brother’s bed. Both of us completely naked. I blinked myself back to consciousness. His strong arm wrapped around my middle. Like the world’s best safety belt. His hardness pressed into the cleft of my ass. His warm lips brushing the back of my neck.
“Hey,” he said, feeling me stir.
“Did we?” I felt around my body, like I was going to be able to find evidence that I’d, once again, fooled around with my younger sibling.
“No,” Kevin said, kindly. “Your friend Brooke dropped you off. I got the door before you woke Mom and Dad. As soon as you saw me, you dragged me to bed. Then you passed out. You snore like a horse, by the way.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“It’s cute,” he said, “Like cuddling with Mr Ed.”
“Wha…?”
“It’s an old TV show,” Kevin said, “Doesn’t matter. You OK?”
“I fucked up on my test,” I said.
“Oh. Well that’s OK. It’s only one thing, Jacey. You don’t want to know how many exams I’ve messed up.”
I turned back to give my brother a withering look. The expression on his face was so adorable, I could barely hold my disdain before finally smiling, instead. My brother was such a hottie. I mean, you know, for a brother.
“I just mean, like, I’m still here, right?” Kevin said. He did that cute thing where he ran his fingers through his thick brown curls. “Tests are important. I get that. But in the grand scheme of things? It’s not life or death.”
I chewed my lip. I wanted to make a smart-ass response, but my head ached from all the alcohol. And the strange, alluring scent that was filling my nose. Clean and masculine. My brother’s body pressed against mine. His hardness against my backside.
I rolled onto my back. Kevin was on his side. He looked down at me lovingly. He traced his fingers up my bare flank. My traitorous little pussy leaked out warm honey.
Oh fuck.
“So anyway, no, to answer your question, we didn’t do anything,” Kevin said.
His strong hands danced around my skin. They felt so hot, I shivered.
“But,” my brother continued, “I can’t help but notice we’re both naked now.”
A thousand thoughts flooded my mind. Our parents were almost certainly in the next room and rousing. I was still feeling the guilt of what I’d done the week before. There were plenty of other tests to come, and I desperately needed to study for them. That was the only way to turn this thing around. I may have been hungover, but I could feel my mental clarity kicking back in. If I could arrest the situation now, I was certain I’d be back to normal in no time.
And sure, my brother’s body felt amazing. His deep brown eyes held me captured in their gaze. But that’s the point: my brother. Fooling around with my baby bro wasn’t a bad idea, it was the most disastrous thing any human being could ever do. People would be more understanding if I stabbed him.
But my sibling silenced all of that with one hard, sensuous kiss.
His lips pressed to mine, and my thoughts were gone. His tongue slipped into my mouth and my brain wiped clean like it was a whiteboard. My body rose to meet his. Hands laced around his neck.
My brother kissed lower. My neck and chest. He latched onto one of my little nipples and I shifted gears once again. I let out a soft, sharp squeal.
Oh fuck!
With my breasts well engaged, his hands slipped down between my legs and found my pussy. Any lack of desire I might have pretended at was pulled away as my brother felt the sloppy wetness of my sex slosh over his fingers. I knew it, too, because he let out a little whine.
“Jacey you’re so wet,” he said.
No. Not Jacey. Sister. I needed to hear him say it.
“My sister is dripping,” he said, and I felt a little orgasm run through me just from that. Like the shock of static electricity. A tight little thing that passed quick but clear.
I reached down and found his hardness. Had he grown bigger in the week we’d been apart? It felt like a hot, pulsing, telephone pole in my hands. My fingertips barely touching as I gripped it.
“My brother’s so hard,” I said back to him.
He groaned when I said that. I stroked his dick up and down. Glorifying in the hold that I had on him. He moved his digits up to my clit. A perfectly deft touch — the right amount of tease and pressure — and I was off to the races. All those wasted years of boyfriends that could barely find the thing. Turns out my sibling knew my sex better than even I did.
I was lying there, completely supplicant to whatever my brother wanted. And that’s when he slid his mouth, wetly off my little tit. He pulled his fingers from my crotch. Pushed my grasp from his cock. I whined with need as my brother abandoned me.
“Ke…” I stopped myself. “Please,” I said, “Take care of your big sister like a good little bro.”
“I am,” he said, so confident. Any shred of silliness was gone. Burned away. I startled at the man I’d found myself in bed with. Worse, my own assurance was shattered. My brother had me. Held me. And it was truly wonderful.
He shifted himself between my thighs. Unbidden, I felt my legs curl around him. He grabbed his cock and aimed it into place. For a moment my thoughts faltered. Oh-my-God-my-brother’s-cock-is-going-in-me-no.
But it was far too late. My little bro’s big dick pressed forward into my folds and my stupid, slippery pussy welcomed him in so easily it was like he was meant to be there.
OH FUCK!
I felt my sex clamp down around his cock, like sealing him in for safety. My brother let out a low groan as he finally got his dick inside his sister.
And just like that, it was done. We’d committed this irreversible, unforgiveable act. So casually I can barely conceive it. And because it’d happened how it did, it was even worse. If we’d done it in the night. If I’d come home in that state and we’d fallen into it, that would have been excusable.
But no. We’d waited until the morning. I couldn’t say it was a drunken mistake now. Oh no. I was stone cold sober. Any hope I had of rationalization had been rendered moot. Any deniability had been destroyed.
“Oh, Jace… Sister. Oh big sis, I’m inside you.”
“I know.”
“It feels so good,” he sobbed.
“I know.”
My brother held himself in there, feeling the walls of my pussy ripple around him. It felt amazing, like there was some part of me that had always been missing this piece of itself. That pause gave me a moment to regain my wits.
My little brother’s hardness was in my pussy. I’d never had a bare cock in me before. And oh, there was a reason for that. I’d always used condoms before because the pill messed me up something awful. And now the very first time I was skin-to-skin it was sibling-to-sibling. I needed to…
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