Suddenly the images in my mind cleared.
She was calling..calling out..to..to.. me! Oh, Raja, Raja, Raja..ah..ahh my son! Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeesss! Hard..harder..uff! Uff!! ‘ She slammed up against the man as he pushed down on her. And the man above her, pummeling her with his dick, his balls banging on her cunt, was…was..me!! I was fucking my amma. I was crying out her name ‘amma, amma, amma…ah..ah…ahhh! Suddenly she shook and vibrated and reached her climax. At the same instant, the man reached his climax, and with a deafening roar slammed and ejaculated into her.
I pumped my dick one last time and I leaned over the side of my bed. Thick streams of cum spurted gloriously from my cock and fell like raindrops on the marble floor. Fuck! I had fantasized about my amma. My jerk-off was great! The sensation was like nothing I had experienced masturbating previously. Shit, god-in-heaven! I wanted to fuck my mother!!
The next morning I woke up with an enormous hard-on. I knew what I did last night was wrong, obscene, dirty and incestuous. But I couldn’t help it. I stroked my cock on the way to the bathroom, knowing fully well that I would jerk off into the toilet thinking about amma once again. I was a lousy bastard. Yes.
As I walked past the open window of my upstairs bedroom, a movement down below caught my eye. It was amma. She was doing her usual morning gardening routine. How many times had I seen her from my window this way? Almost every day. At least a million times, and I had thought nothing of it. But today was different. I had a huge, erect, veiny cock in my hand and amma was the reason. I stopped and observed her. And stroked my cock. I was masturbating, watching my amma!
She was bending this way and that. Her beautiful thick thighs were outlined against her sari. Her backside was taut and tight and as she rose from a squatting position, her ass-cheeks pinched her sari and made a nice wedgie and her buttocks were clearly outlined. As she turned towards me I could see that her pallu was drooping, exposing her blouse. The mounds of her breasts and the deep valley of her cleavage were visible.
My amma was a normal small town housewife. Not sexy or seductive, but I guess alluring and attractive in an old fashioned way. I admit I had never, ever thought or seen my mother in a sexual manner. But All this had changed in a matter of days. I realized that amma was only about forty-four or forty-five. Still young. Still physically fit. I was fantasizing about her. Why not? And now, here I was, standing at a window, looking down at my amma, who was innocently going about her work, entirely oblivious of her grown up, twenty-five year old son, jerking off to her.
I don’t recall how long I stood there. I stroked myself, slowly. Stopping and starting many times, until I could hold it no more. As amma finished her work and started going back into her house, I came. My cock erupted and loads of my semen slammed against the wall. I imagined my cum soaking her swaying backside. My whole body shook for a very, very long time as waves of forbidden, taboo pleasure rolled over me.
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I avoided eye contact with amma for a while, but she came to know something was amiss and a few days later she confronted me when appa was not around.
“Come, Raja. What is wrong, tell me. I won’t bother you with talk of marriage for a while if that is what is worrying you.”
I could not gather the courage to tell her what was on my mind. “No. no, amma,” I stalled. “All is well, nothing’s the matter.”
She would have none of it. “Come now, Raja. I am your mother after all, even if you are twenty-five years old…”
I sat at the kitchen table and it all came out. I could not hold it back anymore.
“Amma, why did you do it?”
“Do what?” She asked.
“I mean..appa told me all about it..”
“About what, Raja?” She asked, and sat down across from me at the table.
“You agreed to..you know. Appa said that you and him are.. are not…were not..since I was born”
Her eyes grew wide as she realized what I was about to say. “Raja! What did your father tell you?”
“Why did you agree to that amma? That stupid Swami said something and appa believed him and..and.. All your life, amma. Why? Your life has been so..so”
“Stop it, Raja. I can’t believe that man, your appa, told you all this. I can’t believe that you and I are talking about this. Just stop!”
“Amma, I am not a child anymore. We can talk like grown ups, about anything. You, you should have not …”
“What? What was I to do? If a man does not want to live..have me as a wife..what should I do? What could I do? Run away with someone? What would have happened to you, to me? What would people say? ”
“So you did this all for the sake of our family? Why? Why, amma?”
Amma had started crying now, “Yes, for you. For us. For our family. Yes. So I wasted my life listening to your stupid appa and that rotten swami. You don’t know how bad a man he is…”
“What, amma? Swami is bad, how?”
“What can I tell you? You will not believe me. You know why he told all this to your appa? About how your appa should lead his family life? He.. he…aiyoh! I haven’t told this to anyone…”
“What, amma? Tell me, I will fix it.”
“No, you cannot. He is powerful, so powerful. All will believe him..him only and…and not me!”
“What, amma? What did he do?”
“Aiyoh! Raja, One day he came to our house..you were not even born yet..and then he..he wanted me to..aiyoh..how can I say it…he wanted me to..lie down with him!!” Amma sobbed, and hid her face in her hands.
“What! That swami..that fucker! And..and appa has..he did not know?”
“I refused..and that’s why he..he..told appa.. To stay away from me! Oh god..” Amma‘s tears flowed down profusely.
I went and hugged her. I realized I hadn’t done this in a very long time. She was surprised, but she pressed my arms.
“I have wasted my life, Raja!” she finally said, wiping her face and calming down a little after a while. “So, you don’t waste yours. Go find a girl and settle down. Lead a good life. Look after your boys.”
“No amma. I don’t want to marry someone. There will be no other woman…”
“Don’t be silly Raja! How can you be single and alone? You need a wife. Your children need a mother. You need a woman in your life.”
“No amma. You.. you will be the only woman in my life from now onwards.”
“What are you talking about?” She whispered, wide eyed.
I didn’t know I had the courage to say it. But I did.
“Yes. You will be my woman. I will be your man, amma. I will show you what it is to be a woman, to belong to a man. That is how it is going to be.” I whispered back.
“Raja!” she hissed. “What..what..” Words failed her. She was in shock on hearing me.
“To hell with appa. To hell with that fucking Swami-ji..” I hissed.
Amma was frozen like a statue. She stared at me as I quietly walked out of the room.
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It was now amma‘s turn to avoid eye contact with me. I think she was still trying to figure out what I had meant when I said those words to her a few days earlier. But I was biding my time.
Appa went to the nearest big city once every other month to get the provisions for our stores from the warehouse. I knew that he used this opportunity to visit at least a couple of different whore houses. Heck, I had even done that a few times. But this was my chance to have amma alone in the house, all to myself.
That evening she was sitting on the sofa and reading a magazine but I could tell she was scared. I went and sat beside her. My little boys were playing by our feet. I inched closer to amma.
“No, Raja, No! ” She exclaimed. “Do you even realize what you are going to do? I am your mother. You are my son. Are you out of your mind? How could you even think of this? Chee-Chee, This is so bad. It is a sin before God and man. This is very, very wrong. I can’t believe you and I are talking about this. Please go away, Raja. Please. I beg you. It will all pass. It will all be OK in the morning. Go, Raja, Go!!”
I had come this far, and I was not willing to leave.
“Raja, please!” She implored. “I am helpless against you. You know that! Please do not do this. For the sake of your sons, don’t”
“Amma,” I said, softly. “How can I explain what is going on in my head? I never thought I would be doing this. But this has been in my mind for the past few days. I hate what has happened to you, what appa and that swami made you go through until now in your life. I absolutely hate them. You are still young amma. You need this, you deserve this. You need the touch of a man. I cannot see you like this. I cannot let anyone else have you. Even appa. I will not, I cannot, let him touch you from now on. It has to be me. Only me!”
“Raja!” She said, and I could see her resolve weakening. “Aiyoh! My god. Help me. What are you going to do, Raja! No. No.. No…” She buried her head in her hands.
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