“You want it now, though?” she inquired.
I felt heat begin to build in my cheeks at the fact that I had to openly admit I wanted to fuck my mother.
“Yes,” I said plainly.
“What exactly do you want?” she asked, staring intently at me.
It was my turn not to look at her.
“Jeremy, you’re asking me to take part in something but I’m not sure what exactly it is you’re wanting me to take part in,” she said in her motherly tone.
It became clear to her that I was unimaginably uncomfortable. It was an odd feeling for me that I was able to commit all the acts we’d done to that point without a second thought but talking about it in conversation with Mom was seemingly out of the question.
Mom sighed lightly.
“You seem okay with me touching you, performing oral sex on you, and you touching me. Is that all you want or is there more?” she asked.
“More,” I blurted out.
“Can you tell me?” she asked, reaching across the table and putting her hand on my only good wrist, preventing me from eating.
I looked up at her in thought.
“I want to see you naked,” I admitted softly.
“Anything else?” she asked.
“I want to have sex with you,” I said quietly, but proudly.
“I see. And why did you think I was upset last night?” she asked, her hand still preventing me from eating.
“Because I think you did something against your will,” I said, unsure if that was what I meant.
“What do you mean?”
I was becoming irate with all her questions.
“I was getting worked up and maybe crossed the line,” I said vaguely.
“Now, you’re going to have to excuse my bluntness and perhaps my language as I try and paint a picture for you, okay?”
I nodded.
“As I recall the events that have transpired between us, I don’t recall you restraining me. I don’t recall you forcing your pen… dick into my mouth. I also don’t recall me telling you to,” she paused to dredge up the ability to use sexual language with me, “cum anywhere but in my mouth. I also don’t recall you forcing me to very nearly have sex with you. Understand what I’m saying?”
“Okay, so you’re saying I didn’t cause you to be upset. If I didn’t do it, why were you crying?” I asked.
“That, son, is what we need to explore this morning. I want to discuss it somewhere more comfortable, though. Let’s do the dishes and get comfortable, alright?”
I smiled, nodded, and gathered up the plates. Mom helped me rinse the dishes and fill the dishwasher. She hummed happily the entire time. Her happiness made me happy. It didn’t matter what the outcome of the pending discussion was going to be. I was glad that she was happy. We wiped everything down before going to the infamous living room to talk.
She sat playfully at the end of the couch and tapped the seat next to her. When I sat, she turned to face me and took one of my hands in both of hers.
“Parents instill in their children lessons and behaviors that they exhibit. What they often leave out are some of the personal things they’ve learned throughout life. I suppose we do that because they’re personal to us or maybe because sometimes the lesson learned is more valuable when you learn it on your own. In this case, I find it important that you know because of what happened. I assure you, I never sat with your other brothers or sisters and discussed these things,” she said, finishing the mini speech in almost a laugh.
She paused to ensure I was following her.
“Women cry at nearly the drop of a hat, not always when bad things happen to them or when they’re upset. We sometimes cry when we’re overwhelmingly happy or, in this case, when an exciting thing happens to us that brings about a new level of happiness and pleasure. You said you got worked up, but you didn’t stop to consider that maybe I did too?” she asked.
“No, I guess I didn’t. I didn’t think you wanted any of this,” I admitted.
“Jeremy, I told you that I knew you didn’t force anything on me.”
“No, Mom, I know. I just meant at that time, that’s what I was thinking.”
“Oh, right,” she said in a breath of relief. “So, you understand what you were feeling, I was also feeling,” she asked.
“I guess. Then what exactly got you emotional like that?” I asked.
“Well, I think it was because I had an orgasm with the least likely person imaginable at the time. It wasn’t only that, but it was more intense than usual.”
I smiled proudly that I could help her achieve that.
“Does that mean you want more?” I asked cautiously.
She stared blankly at me for a long time. I knew she was thinking about how to answer me.
“Baby, I want that every minute of every day. There are too many things to consider, though. For one, what we’re doing is wrong. So wrong! When you told me that you didn’t mind it, I didn’t understand but I’m starting to see what you mean.”
“What else?” I asked.
“Well, your father. He hasn’t given me any reason to seek the attention from another man,” she said.
“Anything else?”
“Are you dismissing my reasons?” she asked in a frustrated tone.
“Absolutely not. I want to understand!” I informed her truthfully. “So far, though, I’m getting you want what happened last night, but not with me. Correct?”
She let out an exhaustive sigh and slumped a little as if she felt defeated.
“Baby, I just don’t know. All I can tell you right now is that I’m not ready to give my body to you. Nor am I ready to allow you to see me in my most vulnerable state.”
I was disappointed to say the least. At first, I wanted to make Mom a conquest of mine, but by the time that discussion was being had, I wanted more.
“Baby don’t be upset with me. You have to understand where my fears come from,” she said in a pleading tone.
“What are you afraid of? Do you think I’ll want to change your relationship with Dad or want to enter into some relationship with you?”
She furled her brow a little, “Don’t you?”
“Mom, no! Listen, there’s very little I can think of that would ever make me not love you as I should. I also cannot think of any reason why I would want to break up your marriage. Granted, I think you could be happier, but I doubt you’re lonely or uncared for. I just…”
I must have paused a little longer than her liking.
“You just what?” she asked.
“I’ve come to find you attractive, which I’m aware would make Freud proud, and even though you’re my mom, I get horny when I see you in certain stages of undress. I imagine things. Above all else, I have imagined different ways we would have sex and how I could please you. So, that’s the deal. I’m attracted to you, and I want you.”
I put it all out on the table and waited impatiently for her response.
“Well, like I told you, you’ll have to be happy with what you get when and if you get it. You must let a girl have her secrets and, in time, she may reveal them. That time won’t be today, though.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, though I had my suspicions about what she meant.
“It means I don’t always share everything with you! That’s what it means,” she said deviously.
“What do we do now?” I asked, feeling a little rejected.
She got up off the couch, stood in front of me and shoved me back hard, forcing me to lay on the couch. She quickly straddled my knees and pulled off her top. I’d never seen Mom’s tits, but they were glorious. They were large, natural globes that sagged only slightly. Given her age, she was the image of perfection to me.
“I’m not at the brick wall yet, babe. I’m willing to show you things and do things with you until then. I don’t know where that wall is, but it’s not here. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to suck on you until you cum in my mouth again.”
I was initially shocked at the sudden step she took to re-engage in those acts with me. That was by far the most direct Mom had been with me. It turned me on so much when she talked to me like that. She was a desirable woman and that made me want her even more. I could only imagine that she spent the significant amount of time between our first and second encounters thinking about the ramifications of what happened. I felt as if she had justified to herself all the actions that had transpired.
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