We Shouldn’t Have Done This Ch. 02

Literotic asexstories – We Shouldn’t Have Done This Ch. 02 by Aldenor,Aldenor In the early hours of the morning, she began to ignore me, getting ready for college in icy silence. I sensed she was troubled and carefully avoided meeting her eyes, fully aware that I’d gone much too far. As she finished adjusting her coat, I broke the ice.

– Emma, what’s wrong?

She turned back to me, her eyes gleaming with a strange mixture of anger and embarrassment.

– I think you know very well…

My heart clenched in my chest and my mouth went dry.

– I shouldn’t have done it, I’m sorry.

She probed my soul. I think she was disappointed to detect this mixture of guilt and envy continuing to boil deep inside me. She sighed, finishing adjusting her coat. Emma put her hand on the doorknob, hesitating for too long a second, before turning her beautiful green eyes towards me.

– Part of me really blames you for doing this…

A cryptic phrase bringing as many answers as new questions. With a certain insolence, I bounce off the ambiguity.

– And the other one?

My sister’s face went pale. An answer choked in her tight throat. Nothing. She opened the door and slammed it behind her. I was now alone with my examination of conscience.

The day passed far too slowly. With my butt in the chair, I struggled to concentrate on the game I was playing. Possible scenarios raced through my mind. I knew Emma wouldn’t tell my parents, but that was something. Full of remorse, I didn’t even have the heart to watch an X-rated movie on my phone. The possible scenarios for my apology spun around in my head like a hamster in its wheel. The hours ticked by and finally, I heard that everyone had gone home. But Emma didn’t come up to the room. I shivered with fear as I imagined the family dinner that was about to take place. I sheepishly introduced myself to my parents and Emma, who didn’t say a word to me. I felt she was still trapped in her own thoughts, closed up like an oyster.

Around the table, only the clatter of cutlery countered the absence of conversation. My father glared at me. I was sweating. Had Emma told him? My hands were clammy. My mother looked at my father from time to time, then at me, waiting to see from which cloud the storm would come. But as usual, she smiled at me, full of kindness and maternal love. I deduced that they didn’t know what I’d done last night…

– You didn’t go out today, Max, did you? my father said tactlessly.

The hostilities were starting.

– No, I haven’t. I’ve been looking for an internship.

He sighed loudly, trying to find the right words not to give in to his loud anger, which he knew was useless.

– That’s it…take me for a fool…

His tone was cold, incredulous, the fire smoldering beneath the ice. My mother shriveled on her shoulders, finishing her peas. And the miracle came from across the table.

– It’s true, Dad, I’ve seen him send out proposals. And getting answers. Didn’t I, Max?

Incredible. My sister hadn’t said a word all day, but she’d just saved my ass in a single sentence. I certainly didn’t release a sigh of relief, so as not to tarnish the brilliance of her brilliant action.

– I’ve got an interview on Monday. For an alternation.

My father chewed dangerously on his last piece of meat, looking at his children in turn, probing to see if a scheme was at work. But Emma was the princess of light, his beloved granddaughter, her virtue never contested, in fact or word.

– Well, he concluded simply, finally relaxing his jaw.

The meal ended calmly. I glanced at my sister, trying to make out her state of mind, without discerning the slightest clue. After wishing my parents good night, I went up to my room. Emma was already there, sitting on the edge of the bed, hands clasped, looking solemn. I closed the door and approached her.

– I think we need to talk, she began.

All my prepared scenarios wanted to come out at once, and I immediately replied without letting her unroll the rest of her speech, for fear of finding my back against the wall.

– Look, Emma, I’m sorry, I begged, before she tightened her invisible grip on the situation.

– I’m not so sure, Max. You liked it. I could feel it.

She imposed a silence. I didn’t know where to stand. Emma continued, in a voice that mixed softness and firmness, a tone lower.

– I know you watch porn at night before bed.

– You mean, since you became my roommate?

– No, I’ve known for years. I have acute hearing. You’re 19, you’re a guy, and I’d be surprised if I could hear dialogue from Josephine Guardian Angel at three in the morning.

– Emma, I can’t get enough of it, it’s stronger than me. That’s why I…

– I know, you’re hooked. Look, I’m not here to lecture you, I think it makes you unhappy, but if you need it then…just let me know when you want a quiet moment. I’ll come back later. Or if you do it when I’m around…do it discreetly.

– It makes me uncomfortable to ask, let alone do it next to you.

She shrugs. Had she guessed that one bothered me enormously but the other excited me far too much?

– I’m not the Blessed Virgin, I have my desires too.

– How do you manage to…let’s say…satisfy yourself when I’m around?

– College bathroom. Not glamorous, but okay.

– Clever.

– Like you, I’m beginning to find the time long. I can’t wait to get back to my room. My privacy. My habits.

– Don’t you have a boyfriend to appease your cravings?

– Not at the moment. And… let’s just say that I’m a bit fed up with guys at the moment.

– Why is that?

His eyes dive in the vague.

– You…well…they’re all the same. They hurt me. All of them, one day or another. They lie to me. They don’t think enough of me. They’re selfish.

– I’m sorry. I know you’ve been through a lot. I know you’ve been through a lot, you’ve already told me.

– You really suck at looking for internships, but at least you know how to listen to people. It’s a gift, you know, she adds, teasing me.

– Thanks a lot for earlier, Dad was going to yell at me again.

– Max, he’s going about it the wrong way, but he’s not wrong in principle: you’ve got to take charge of your life. Mom and I won’t always be there to save the day. Now you owe me one.

– Yes, I do. What can I do to thank you?

– Find an internship before Monday if you want to live, she adds mischievously.

– I’ll double my efforts.

– You’d better!

We sit down on my sofa and start a series, the evening becoming more comfortable, the tension now gone. But I don’t really feel her concentrating, still prey to her inner demons. Emma comes over and takes my hand. I turn to her and see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

– What’s wrong, Emma? I asked.

It took her a few seconds to answer.

– I feel very alone… Studying stresses me out. I feel like I have to be perfect all the time, and not let anyone down.

– You should learn from me for once. Video games don’t judge you. Enjoy the good times and see what tomorrow brings.

My words soothe her a little, and she snuggles up to me.

– Hmm…maybe I should let off a little steam now and then.

– Get yourself a boyfriend, or play video games!

– I prefer the latter. Want to play a game?

For the first time, I see her pick up a controller. I choose the easiest game for a beginner. Logically enough, I win hands down, but she doesn’t take offense. She taps me on the shoulder.

– I don’t care, I’ll kick your ass in real life, whenever I want.

– I demand to see!

She sticks her tongue out at me. It was the kind of intimate moment I hadn’t shared with her in ages. I felt good, and I had the feeling it eased her loneliness. We played for a few more hours, then she finally looked at her phone in spite of the late hour. She went to the bathroom, changed and came back in her usual nightwear. I rest my eyes on her form. My unnatural desire leaps into my boxer shorts like a devil straight out of a thousand years of detention. Fortunately, she didn’t pay much attention and disappeared under the comforter. I joined her there, having pulled on my boxer shorts and T-shirt, waiting for my erection to subside.

We plunged into the half-light. I turned to her and, sensing that I still wanted to talk, she imitated me. Our bodies were at a reasonable distance from each other… But after the complicity felt during the evening, I felt closer to her than ever.

– I kept thinking about how I could apologize for last night, about what you said this morning but…I had one last question. And I promise I won’t bring it up again.

I feel the weight of his eyes despite the darkness.

– I know what question’s on your mind, Max. I said it without thinking. It’s not wise for me to answer.

– I just…

– Please, Max, don’t insist. What happened last night was wrong. It was wrong. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

– Okay…can you forgive me?

– You already have. Because you’re my brother. And I know you’re the only man who would never hurt me on purpose.

– Thank you, Emma.

– Good night.

She turned and the hum of traffic punctuated my usual insomnia. I didn’t have the heart to watch a single movie on my laptop. I was trying to fall asleep. Time was suspended, enjoying the car headlights on the ceiling projecting streaks of light through the poorly closed curtains. I turned to check that my sister was asleep. I was surprised that she still wasn’t asleep. Fleeing my gaze, she rolled over. Something was gnawing at her. I could feel it, but I didn’t dare tell her. Too many long minutes went by. And then, half aloud, I distinctly heard a few words, a weight too heavy for her conscience, released abruptly in a life-saving exhalation.

– The other part of me liked it…

We shouldn’t have done this, and yet…