Why Did We Have to be Cousins Ch. 04

Literotic asexstories – Why Did We Have to be Cousins Ch. 04 by 32aa,32aa maOK, readers. I’ve taken your comments into account that this story isn’t over. It’s a slow build. Intense at times

Thank you Billyboy1953.

Revised the last sentence from Chapter 3

We were prepared to take our deep and heartfelt feelings for each other to our graves if we had to, in order to preserve the love and peace in our loving families… Fate had other plans.

I tried to put the weekend I spent at home for Ellen’s wedding behind me, but not totally. There were moments that weekend and moments leading up to that weekend that would remain with me forever.

The first was when I first met her future fiancé – husband. It was the first Christmas after Ellen’s final visit to my apartment when she brought him to my parents for Christmas Day Dinner. I knew she had been seeing someone after her final visit. Through her letters, I also knew that it was getting serious. But, Christmas Day dinner? Wasn’t that a ‘Family’ get-together? I found out later, that his parents had passed away a number of years ago within months of each other due to some form of cancer and his only sister lived in California and they weren’t close. So, I guess it made sense. Still… I wanted my favorite cousin to myself for the day.

Anyway, his name was Robert, not Rob. And Robert made a point of making sure that you knew it.

He seemed to be a few years older than Ellen and worked as an accountant in the neighboring town, which wasn’t much bigger than our little town of Athens. Ellen had told me that she met him through one of her girlfriends just before her last visit to my apartment.

He appeared to be a decent guy. I was pretty sure that he had his ‘happy face’ for that first impression. But something about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe a bit of arrogance?? Sometimes he would just sit back and look at the gathering of the two families doing what we did when we all got together… have fun. To me, it seemed like a ‘judgmental’ gaze.

It was subtle, but it seemed like the ‘mask’ would come down every once in a while.

We obviously didn’t exactly hit it off, that day probably for a few reasons.

Maybe it was when Ellen had first entered my parent’s kitchen for that Christmas Day dinner, and she literally leaped into my arms. I embraced her in a warm hug, picked her up by her butt, and swung her in a circle. All the while in a lip lock and her firm breasts against my chest. Ellen grinned and whispered in my ear, “Behave”.

I whispered back, “I always behave… until you tell me not to.”

She just shook her head, and whispered back, “You’re so bad.”

Throughout the whole exchange, I hadn’t even noticed Robert standing in the entryway with a not-so-pleasant expression. The rest of the family just smiled at the usual closeness of our exchange after being apart since her visit.

Or maybe it was when I gave her the Christmas present that I had picked out for her; a heart-shaped locket, where the inside was engraved with, “To my special cousin… From your special cousin”. This time the hub lingered as her tear-filled eyes met mine, then her soft lips, followed by a whispered, “Thank you… my love.”

But I think what really put me on his ‘shit list’ was when Ellen and I went for our final walk together in the snow-covered pine trees when everybody was watching football. It was during our walk that Ellen explained that because of her relationship with Robert that it would be difficult to explain, and justify, her visiting me again over the summer.

Holding my cousin in a warm embrace in the quiet of the trees, I told her saddened face that I knew that this day would come and that I was truly happy for her. We gave each other a long and heartfelt ‘goodbye’ kiss before returning to the family gathering.

As we returned, our families each gave us gentle smiles. Knowing and understanding that we needed our alone time together.

We were both met with Robert’s glare. Ellen was not intimidated. Then, as if to drive home the point, she just kissed my cheek, turned, and walked out of the room.

………………………………………

Time went on. We continued to write to each other. Sharing our lives, just as we always had… Open and honest. Ellen would write about things in her life. Family get-togethers. Her third-grade class and school events. I told her about taking the Triumph along the Pacific Coast Highway to San Diego on one Saturday, and yes any dates I had… even with a few details even though those get-togethers were far and few.

She was still living in her own apartment however, Robert was pressing her to move in with him. Saying that it would save her rent and food costs. Ellen’s answer each time he brought it up was, “No ring… No moving in together, if then.”

Ellen said it brought about some pretty heated discussions at times. Some to the point that each stormed out of whatever apartment they were in at the time. At times coming close to a breakup.

But, she stood her ground and her family backed her 100%. If Robert was going to continue to play that card, he would lose, and lose her. On a couple of occasions, Ellen’s mom sat down with her and asked if she really wanted that kind of life… controlling and dominating. A couple is supposed to be supportive, respectful of the other’s wishes, and willing to compromise on issues.

Ellen, of course, wrote to me about everything that was going on. I asked if she thought that she was ‘settling’ for what her life was giving her, instead of realizing that she deserved better… that she wasn’t ‘stuck’.

One night as I sat at my table writing my weekly letter to my favorite cousin, who I loved with all of my heart, a spontaneous thought just popped into my head. I’ve heard that when those kinds of things happen, it’s your ‘Guardian Angel’ talking to you. I had no idea who that might be, but the thought lingered.

We needed to talk.

It was something that we had never done. Don’t know why, maybe up until now our weekly letters were enough to keep us connected. But I could tell that she was going through a difficult time. Letters weren’t cutting it. She needed to hear my voice. I need to hear her voice.

I suggested that a week from the coming Sunday I would call her after the phone rates went down. Ellen readily agreed.

6:01 Sunday, my time.

“Bill!!!”

“Ellen.”

We spent the first ten minutes on just casual stuff because we each missed hearing each other’s voice.

“My god your voice sounds so good. This was a good idea. I really need to talk to someone who understands me and will help me sort through stuff. Who will not just tell me what they think I want to hear. You are my protector… my love.”

Ellen’s voice cracked. My eyes welled up. There was silence for a few moments.

“Sorry,” she softly said.

“Don’t be. I wish I was there to hold you… to love you… to show you how special you are.”

“Me too. I so miss feeling your arms around me. Our bare bodies against each other while we make love… after we make love. In the mornings when I would wake up next to you and watch and listen to you sleep. Tell me that we will do that again… somehow. Please. Promise me.”

“Ellen, my very dear cousin. The cousin who I love from the bottom of my heart. I can’t make that promise. I know we made that promise to each other at the end of your first visit. But, you’re going in a direction where that can’t happen.”

“But, I love YOU!…. Not him,” she cried into the phone.

Even being over 2,000 miles away, my heart broke. Tears ran down my cheeks.

We each composed ourselves.

“Sorry,” she softly spoke.

“Ellen, talk to me. What’s going on? Tell me. Tell me everything.”

For the next half an hour, Ellen retold me everything that she had written to me about. I broached the big question that hadn’t been raised.

“Ellen, you said that you didn’t love him. Does he love you? Does he show it, and I don’t mean between the sheets.”

I obviously couldn’t see it, but I imagined my favorite cousin squirming, blushing, and grinning.

A few moments, “Even though you said that you didn’t mean ‘between the sheets’… Yes, but not like you.”

I grinned to myself. She continued.

“Does he love me? I don’t know. I want to believe it.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want to believe it? Do you think that you’ll never find another guy that you’re attracted to? Who pays attention to you? Who wants to be with you?”

Silence.

“Bill, you don’t know what it’s like here. Out where you are there are people… girls that are all around you who are around your age. A few that you’ve told me that you’ve been to bed with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for you. I hope that you find a special girl to fill your heart. But, here… there’s nobody. Nobody that I find any attraction to. And I’m certainly not going to start anything with any of the teachers that I work with. Not that I find any of them attractive. I only met Robert through one of my girlfriends, otherwise, I’d still be a single woman.”

“Ellen, you have the sound of desperation. You’re still young. You’re a beautiful and caring person. Did I say sexy?”

“No, but you can tell me that I’m sexy all you want to,” again, I could ‘hear’ the smile.

“Ellen, men must be idiots to not see that in you. You don’t need to settle for things in your life. Be patient. I know that’s easy for me to say. Is your mom pressuring you to find someone, settle down, and have a family?”

“Not directly.”

“So, indirectly?”

“I don’t know. It’s just little things. I know she tries to help. I know that she doesn’t want to see me break up with Robert.”

“Even when you’re not happy?”

Silence. And then a big sigh.

“I know that she wants me to be happy. Why can’t I find the kind of love that we share? A deep, caring, and emotional love.”

More silence. Then a big sigh on my side.

“Me too. I think about that a lot.”

We had been on the phone for almost an hour, making it around 9:00 her time.

“Bill, thank you for this. Sorry about how long of a call it was.”

“Don’t worry about it. We… You needed this. Let’s do this. Anytime you want to talk, call my number, let it ring once, and I’ll call you back. If I don’t call back shortly, try again. Any day of the week. It doesn’t have to be after the rates go down. OK?”

“OK. But, I can pay for my own calls.”

“Ellen. Let me take care of you. I want to do this. OK?”

“OK… Bill, I love you.”

Ellen’s voice cracking.

“Ellen, I love you. Take care. I’m serious about calling me anytime.”

………………………………………………

Her outburst that she didn’t love Robert haunted me long after we hung up.

Over time, Robert backed off, at least that was what she told me. We started having regular Sunday evening phone calls. I looked forward each day to hearing the soft voice of my favorite cousin and I know that Ellen did the same. During each phone call, she shared her thoughts and feelings about her and Robert. I really tried to stay neutral. I mean, I really didn’t like the guy. And if he did anything to hurt her, in ANY way, I would be on the next plane. But, I stayed supportive and gave Ellen honest answers to what I thought, which she valued.

I could tell that she was trying to work things out. I didn’t bring up the subject of dropping Robert and moving on and neither did she. But she admitted that it was hard at times. Things just didn’t come naturally like they did with us. It seemed to her that she was putting more effort into making the relationship work than he was. I kept my mouth shut.

With Ellen’s description of the relationship with Robert, I could see where it was headed.

There was no girl in my life. Work was ‘off limits’. I wasn’t into the whole bar and club scene. So, there were just a few causal hook-ups from some single women around the apartment complex. It seemed like every six months, or so, a new and single woman would appear at either the Jacuzzi or around the pool.

It was like Ellen said in our first phone call, “Why can’t I find the kind of love that we share?”

There was only one mid-week one-ring of my phone in the weeks that followed.

Somewhere around August, Ellen wrote that Robert had proposed and that she had accepted his proposal and that the wedding was to be a Summer Wedding… July. My heart sank for a few moments but then, I knew that this day was coming. Still, it was difficult to read those words. I hoped and prayed that she was making the right choice.

…………………………………………..

July in Northern Wisconsin is beautiful. The days are sunny and warm and the nights warm and staying light enough to read a newspaper until around 9:00. And on occasion, Northern Lights… Aurora Borealis. A light show beyond words.

Thursday night I got to my parents around 7:00 after a long day of traveling. My old bedroom looked the same. My mom had made my favorite: meatloaf, baked potatoes, and garden corn that she had frozen from their summer harvest.

As we ate, over a couple of Leinenkugels, a Wisconsin specialty, they filled me in on what was going on with all the families. They didn’t know that Ellen and I had been writing and talking on a regular basis, and I didn’t volunteer any information. Instead, I wanted to hear from them their perception on Ellen’s impending marriage.

They didn’t care for Robert either. It seemed that neither family did. Each family had the same impression that I had made the first time that I met him. He was arrogant and condescending to everybody, including Ellen. He pretty much put up with having to spend time together at family functions arriving late and leaving early, much to Ellen’s disappointment. They could tell that Ellen was struggling with making the relationship work. Why she didn’t just drop the guy and move on… nobody really knew. Well, that’s not totally true… I knew, but kept that to myself. In the end, both families just hoped and prayed for the best for her, as they saw that she was determined to go through with it.

Sleep was difficult to come to me that night in the quiet of my old bedroom. My brain wouldn’t stop. My heart ached for my favorite cousin. All I could hope for was that we would find a way to keep our lines of communication open. The phone calls were going to be difficult. The letters shouldn’t be a problem, as she would be getting to their apartment before Robert could see the mail.

Ellen gave me a conservative hug and a gentle smile as we all met for the wedding rehearsal.

We danced at both the rehearsal dinner and the reception. Both times I could feel Ellen’s soon-to-be husband and then at the reception, her husband’s eyes on us as we slowly and closely danced. Maybe it was just my imagination.

The wedding party was arranged at the altar awaiting Ellen’s entrance at the rear of the church. I think that I was the most anxious as we hadn’t seen each other since my last visit two Christmases ago, as she spent last Christmas with Robert and his family, who lived in Pennsylvania.

I remembered that phone conversation right after Thanksgiving. Ellen said she had to tell me. I deserved to hear it from her and not in a letter. She confessed that she was reluctantly talked into it as Robert had spent the previous Christmas with her family and this year he wanted them to spend it with his. To say that I was deeply disappointed would have been a world-class understatement. I almost canceled my plans to go home for the Holiday, but knew that my family would be disappointed. Still, it wasn’t the same.

My favorite cousin looked like a radiant princess dressed in white.

The white bodice hugged her slim waist. The thin lacey veil obscured her hazel eyes from everyone except for me. For me, they shined as she gave me a gentle smile. Watching her being walked up the aisle by my uncle, a lump formed in my throat as he placed her hand in Robert’s hand and they turned to the minister.

When the words, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today” echoed through the quiet church I almost lost it.

And then those age-old words, “Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace”?

I inwardly grinned at the scene that would produce.

The reception was fun with all the family. Robert’s family just sat back and quietly took in how my family partied. Now I know where he got his attitude.

I was the only guy there without a date. My date was sitting a few chairs down from me dressed in white. So, I mingled and danced with a few of Ellen’s single girlfriends. And every time I looked over at her, our eyes would meet, as we exchanged the smile that each of us came to love and adore.

I had been thinking of our last dance. The DJ confirmed what I wanted…Bill Withers ‘Lean on Me’. It would be a slap at Robert right in front of families from both sides. I would forever be on his shit-list. I didn’t care. This to my favorite cousin. The woman who I loved more than life itself. The woman who was now another man’s wife. A man who didn’t deserve her. A man who I definitely knew didn’t love her as much as I did, or care for her the way that would.

But, as they say, “It is what it is”.

Lovingly cupping her face in my hands as we shared a soul-joining gaze. My green eyes joined her soft hazel-colored eyes. The music started.

‘Sometimes in our lives

We all have pain

We all have sorrow

But if we are wise

We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me

When you’re not strong

And I’ll be your friend

I’ll help you carry on…’

The tears were forming in both of our eyes and Ellen pressed into me and I whispered the words I had memorizedd into her ear…

‘…If there is a load you have to bear

That you can’t carry…

… Call me

If you need a friend

Call me

Call me’

The music ended. The room was dead silent. We were the only couple on the dance floor. We lingered. Neither of us wanted this moment to end. But we each knew it had to.

Planting a soft and reverent kiss on her forehead and pulled back so that we could, once again look at each other and share our thoughts.

Ellen knew what I meant. My mom and Ellen’s mom, who were intently watching knew what I meant with that kiss. It meant, ‘I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt. It meant, ‘I’ll come between you and whatever, or WHOever tries to hurt you’. It meant that ‘I love you’. And it let her know that she would always have a special place in my heart and that if she should ever need anything… anything at all, all she would have to do is just ask… Call me.

Each mom wiped a tear from their eyes. Ellen’s eyes were flooded. We each wanted to kiss but knew it was not a good idea. Because we each knew it would not be a cousin-to-cousin kiss.

It was probably the most open display of my affection for my favorite cousin that either of our families had ever witnessed.

Ellen leans and whispers in my ear, “Why did we have to be cousins?” Her voice cracking.

…………………………………………….

We wrote back and forth about our lives.

Me… any work-related thing that I thought she might enjoy. My weekends. The few dates I had been on and no, I didn’t go into details.

About six months after the wedding, Ellen wrote in one of her letters to start sending my letters to her parent’s address. She didn’t give a reason, and I didn’t ask. I suspected that Robert may have picked up the mail on a Saturday and found one of my letters. I didn’t want to imagine how that went over.

In her next letter, Ellen explained. She wrote.

‘Robert got to the apartment early one afternoon last week, picked up the mail, and found your letter. He didn’t open it. It was a good thing that your return address wasn’t on it. When I got home, I saw the letter on the kitchen table. Robert was sitting at the table with two empty beer cans and was working on a third. My heart sank.

‘He asked who the letter was from. I calmly explained that you and I have been writing to each other since our college days. Just day-to-day casual stuff. I knew what your letters were like, so I just opened it and handed it to him without reading it. He read it. But that didn’t satisfy him. With a smug look, he said that he was having a hard time believing that we aren’t more than just cousins. The way he said it really pissed me off.

‘I just said that you’ve got to be kidding. Things were escalating.

‘He wasn’t done, and said, ‘I’ve watched how you two look at each other. Cousins don’t look at each other the way you two do.’

‘I was trying to stay calm but it was becoming difficult, “Well, our parents have seen it since before we were in high school and didn’t have a problem with it then, or now. They even encouraged me to go visit him in California before we ever met. So, what’s your point?

‘He went on getting more agitated by the second and basically accused us of having sex when I last visited you for a whole month. I mean, he and I had only been on two dates before I came out there. His exact words were, ‘You mean to tell me that you slept on the couch and he slept in his bed the whole time you were there?’ I was getting pissed, and with a smirk said, ‘Not exactly… sometimes I slept in his bed’ paused for a bit for effect, ‘and HE slept on the couch.’

‘OK. So I lied and added fuel to the fire that was on the verge of becoming out of control. Sometimes things come out of my mouth before my brain says ‘Shut up’. I hate it when that happens.

‘His face turned a beet red. I could see steam coming out of both ears as he clenched both fists. I knew that he wouldn’t hit me… well, I was pretty sure. It was the most furious I’ve ever seen him.

‘He stormed out of the apartment but not before looking back and snarled at me, “Well, maybe you SHOULD have fucked him. You know what they say, ‘Incest is best’.”

‘I didn’t know where he went. I didn’t care. Around 11:00 I heard him stumble in through the front door. I had thrown a blanket and pillow on the couch, and shut and locked the bedroom door. After that outburst, he sure as hell wasn’t sleeping in our bed. I don’t think anything bad would have happened. I mean, I wasn’t afraid or anything. My only other option was to pack an overnight bag and go spend the night with my parents. But that would have raised questions. Questions that I didn’t want to talk about.

‘Once he discovered that the bedroom door was locked, I could hear him mumbling words of some sort of apology that I couldn’t quite make out. He was drunk. I didn’t care. The couch was his that night… and maybe it wouldn’t be the last.

‘Things haven’t been the same since. He’s distant. Seems like when he gets home at night, I can smell alcohol on his breath. I don’t think that he’s messing around. I just don’t know what to do. He really hates you. I know that’s pretty strong, but I’m afraid that it’s true. He’s so jealous of the connection that you and I have he can’t stand it.

‘He told me the next day that I’m emotionally cheating on him by staying in contact with you. I just told him that we just share what’s going on in our lives, like we always had. No emotional stuff or anything like that. Even when I reminded him that he read your letter and that’s all it had in it. No lovey-dovey stuff, or anything like that. He didn’t have an answer and just walked away. Because he knew that I was right. But not before giving me an ultimatum.

‘Either stop the letter writing, or things could go down a path that, I think, neither of us wants to go. I wasn’t sure about that, but decided to risk it. I can’t… WON’T lose contact with my favorite cousin. The cousin who I love and who I know loves me. So, that’s why I chose to have you send your letters to my parents. They know the reason… well most of the reason.

‘I have a bad feeling that whenever you plan to come back to visit he will always find a way to keep us from seeing each other. I’m afraid that I’m never going to see you again. He so wants you out of my life.

‘I love you, Bill. My dear… dear cousin. I know in my heart that if we had been born in a different place and time that we would be in each other’s arms right this very minute and forever. Why did we have to be cousins?’

In my mind, I saw a tear stream down and fall from her cheek.

…………………………………………

Ellen’s letters were becoming more despondent as the weeks went on. She even admitted in one that she knew that she made a mistake, and the wedding was only 14 months ago. He was becoming verbally abusive. Criticizing the smallest thing. Ellen said that one evening, he even said that he thought she should go on a diet to lose weight. I knew that wasn’t true. Whatever she made for their meals wasn’t good enough… ‘Not like his mom made’. Ellen said that one time she could tell that he had gone through her dresser drawers as her lingerie and stuff were all just a bit out of place. Probably looking for hidden letters was her thought.

I knew that there was more, but didn’t press. I’d wait until she wanted to tell me more.

We had always been open and honest with each other, so I wasn’t surprised that in one letter Ellen wrote about their depressing sex life.

She admitted that any sex was over in less than thirty seconds and that she would just lay there looking up at the ceiling or the headboard waiting for it to be over. He didn’t even try to get her aroused. It was his way of dominating her. At times it was painful. He didn’t care. Most of the time it had been after he had been out with his buddies, which was becoming more frequent, so she kind of prepared herself with some KY jelly. Then there were times when he’d wake in the middle of the night with a hard-on, smack her on the butt, and demand sex. She just groaned at him to use his hand. His reply was, ‘Why don’t you use your mouth?’.

What an asshole I said to myself as I read her letter. He didn’t deserve a princess like my Ellen.

A couple of times he couldn’t even get an erection. That’s when he blamed her. That if she was just sexier she’d be more attractive to him.

The thought that perhaps he was getting his sex someplace else entered her mind a few times. She didn’t want to think about that.

She was spending more time at her parent’s place and they knew why, just not all of the details.

He never hit her. Otherwise, Robert would probably be ‘pushing up daisies’ in some remote part of a Northern Wisconsin forest, or ‘sleeping with the fishes’ in a deep remote lake.

I needed to talk to her. But how? When I mentioned it in a letter, Ellen wrote back and said to call her at her parents the coming Sunday evening.

Sunday 6:01 my time.

“Bill!!!”

“Ellen!!!”

“My gosh but you sound wonderful. I’ve missed your voice. Somebody who I can talk to. Who will listen to me.”

“So do you. I assume that your parents know who you’re talking to.”

“Yes. And quite frankly, they are happy that you called.”

Ellen pretty much went through everything that she had written to me about. At times I could tell that she was crying. I pressed her on her concern that he was messing around behind her back. She didn’t know but didn’t think so. There was nobody she could talk to. Certainly none of his buddies. She didn’t even know which bar he was hanging out at.

She was depressed, alone, and felt helpless.

Not beating around the bush because we’ve always been straightforward with each other, I came right out and asked, “Why don’t you just leave him? Get a divorce. You don’t deserve a life like that.”

She was quiet for a few moments. Then in a hushed voice, “Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. But, he would never agree and I couldn’t afford a good attorney. One that wouldn’t screw me over. Then what? I’m positive that he would not go peacefully into the night. He would blame me for the failed marriage… an embarrassment to his family. He would stalk me. Hound me. Make my life miserable… his revenge for our connection. Feeling that if he couldn’t have me that nobody will… especially you. I know that my family would support my decision but, there had never been a divorce in the family. I would be the first. ”

………………………………………………

After our call, I was emotionally drained and just went out and sat in the Jacuzzi with a full glass of wine. Fortunately, I was the only one there.

What to do? She was miserable. She felt trapped. I was pretty sure that she wouldn’t do something stupid. That wasn’t her. But then again, I knew that she was desperate to get out of that. I was pretty sure that if she went to her parents that they would help in any way they could. But, that still left the problem of HIM hanging around, making her life miserable.

Leaning back after a long sip of wine. No sounds other than the swirling water. A stereo was softly playing off in the distance. I just cleared my mind and tried to relax.

It’s amazing when an idea, pops into your brain out of nowhere.

Two sentences… ‘Go get her. Bring her here”.

So crystal clear. So simple. Bring her here to live with me… forever. But how?

Over the next few days, a plan formed, first in my head, and then putting pencil to paper with a lot of erasers, cross-outs, and changes. The one fortunate thing was the timing. School had just let out for the summer. Ellen would be able to let the school know that she wouldn’t be back in the fall in enough time so they could find a replacement. Plus we had time on our end to find her a school to teach in.

Basically, I was going to buy Ellen a one-way plane ticket from there to here. I would fly back on a Thursday, stay at a hotel with a rental car, pick her up as early as possible the next morning, throw her stuff in the car, put her car in a storage unit, and fly back here. She would need to take out her half of any bank accounts and have complete records of before and after the transactions. And by half, I mean down to the penny. Just so there wouldn’t be a reason on the other end to say that she, ‘robbed him blind’.

We would be the only two people who would know about this until she was safe with me. I thought that pre-warning our parents would have caused a ‘tremor in the force’ that we wouldn’t want to deal with face-to-face. I was also positive that Ellen wanted this as much as I did.

Once she was with me, we would call each set of parents and tell them what happened as I expected them to be frantic that Ellen just disappeared. Clothes and everything. We would explain why, and what our plans were.

My hope was that after we laid out our plan for us, that we would still be part of our family. I mean… first cousins living together and possibly marrying? That would be a big pill for our conservative church-going families to swallow. I mean cousins seriously dating in our community as we were growing up had caused quite a stir. Here, we were going to live together. And, yes… the parents would know that we were going to have sex.

Ellen and I would talk later about getting married. I’d have to look into that, as I knew that Ellen would like to have a family. Maybe someday we would tell our children.

Looking for an attorney for her divorce… an out-of-state divorce would prove challenging, as I had no clue who would actively pursue it in Ellen’s best interest. Part of me decided on a woman attorney. That would be something we would have to get the ball rolling pretty quickly.

Robert didn’t have my address, so there was no possibility of him showing up on my doorstep, so I knew that she would be safe during the day while I was at work.

I need to call her. Talk about this. It was something that couldn’t be done in a letter. I was hoping to catch her one night when the ole faithful husband was out carousing with his misfit buddies.

It worked. One quick phone ring on her end. One ring back on my end. And then.

“Bill. Wow. Two times in less than a week. You must have something pretty important that couldn’t wait.”

I could ‘hear’ the grin over the phone. It brought joy to my heart. I hadn’t ‘heard’ the grin in so long.

For the next fifteen or twenty minutes, I laid out my plan. Ellen never interrupted. She listened through the whole thing. When I finished. It was quiet. She was crying. I just let her let out her pent-up emotions.

Then her quiet voice, “You would do all of that for me?”

“In a heartbeat. You don’t have to answer right now. Think about it. It’s a life-changing decision.”

“Bill, I’ve already screwed up my life once…. I’m not going to do it again. When? How soon can you get me out of here and into your arms? Into your bed with you, and you inside of me where you belong.”

“I’ll let you know. I’ve got to get the storage unit for your car set up and then the plane tickets. I should have most of the details worked out by the time we talk on Sunday.”

Things came together pretty well. The two items that needed to be taken care of right away were getting the storage unit and the plane tickets. I was shooting for the following weekend for this to all come together.

Ellen squealed through the phone when I told her that I would be seeing her this coming Friday morning.

Sleep was difficult to come for the next few nights as my brain was in overdrive. Going every detail for the umpteenth time. Hoping and praying that everything would go as I had planned.

Sitting up the street, waiting for Robert to leave was probably the longest fifteen minutes of my life. Waiting another fifteen minutes, just to make sure that he didn’t come back for something he may have forgotten was like time had stopped.

Her door opened even before I had a chance to knock. We just stared at each other for a few moments in disbelief that this moment had finally arrived. Then… I don’t think that I had ever held her so tight, as she literally sobbed and her body convulsed.

I don’t know how much later, but Ellen settled down. Her face was tear-streaked. Her eyes were red and puffy. But, then there was that smile. And then our lips reacquainted themselves… and reacquainted themselves… and reacquainted themselves.

Reluctantly I pulled back and looked back at the smiling face, “Ellen we have to get going. The plane isn’t going to wait and we’ve got stuff to do first. I hope that you’re packed, or close to being packed.”

We were at the bank shortly after it opened and on our way to the airport with two cashier checks twenty minutes later. The storage unit was on the edge of town on the way to the airport.

Ellen let out a huge sigh of relief as the plane lifted off the runway and buried her face in her hands. She silently cried as my arm embraced her in a closeness that we had sorely missed… a closeness that she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

We didn’t talk much on the flight. I think we were each coming to grips with what we had just done, where we were headed in our lives, and the two phone calls that were going to happen later.

It was a long and emotionally draining day. Between the flight from the Wausau airport to Milwaukee, the layover to change planes, and then the final leg of our journey into the beginning of our lives together we would be getting to my apartment around 7:00… 9:00 Northern Wisconsin time. We were exhausted as we made our way to my apartment.

My phone was ringing as we stepped through the door. My heart stopped. I knew instantly who was on the other end.

Taking a deep breath, “Hello.”

“Bill.”

My mom.

“What’s up,” trying to sound like my normal self.

“Ellen’s gone.”

“Gone?”

“Yes. Robert got to their apartment a bit later than usual, and all of her clothes, makeup, and a few pictures were all gone. Along with two of their suitcases. He drove around looking for her car. Went past her girlfriends’ apartments. Nothing. Her mom and dad are worried sick. They knew that she was unhappy in her marriage, but to just run off. They just hope that where ever she is that she’s safe.”

I didn’t say anything.

Then, “You wouldn’t know anything about this, would you?”

Ellen’s ear had been next to mine at the phone since the moment I answered. Remember it’s a time before speaker phones. Looking at each other the same thought passed between us…Here it is. Time to lay our cards on the table.

“She’s safe,” taking a deep breath, “She’s here with me. Right next to me.”

“Oh my God.”

Silence. Then with her stern mother’s voice that I only heard when she was upset, or when I did something that really disappointed her.

“She needs to call her mom and dad right now. Then YOU need to call us back… collect. OK?”

“I will. I promise.”

The phone went dead. We looked at each other.

“Well, let’s hope your call goes better.”

The phone was answered on the second ring.

“Oh God. Please be my Ellen.”

“Hi, mom.”

“Oh, sweety. My baby. Where are you? Are you safe? Where ever you are let us come get you and bring you home.”

“Mom. First… I’m safe. I’ve never been or felt safer.”

“Where are you?”

Taking a deep breath, “I’m with Bill.”

“Bill… Bill who… Oh my god… I mean your cousin Bill?”

This time it was her dad’s concerned voice.

“Yes.”

“Where? He’s back here? Where are you staying? Why did you take all of your clothes?”

Another deep breath.

“I’m in his apartment…. In California.”

Silence.

For the next fifteen minutes, Ellen went into the details of the last couple of days. And then more silence.

“So when are you coming home?”

I think that both her mom and dad… my aunt and uncle had a sinking feeling about what the answer was going to be, but were hoping that this was just a visit.

“I’m not. I’m staying here. I’m going to live with Bill.”

“But, what about Robert? He’s been frantic since he got home and been looking for you.”

“Yeah. I’ll bet,” she said sarcastically.

“As far as ‘what about Robert?’. In the next week, or so, Bill and I are going to find an attorney and I am going to file for a divorce.”

More silence.

“Divorce? Ellen. Why?”

“Mom, if you don’t know the answer to that by now, after all of our talks then I don’t know what to say. All I can think is that you never really listened or understood what I was going through. My calls and letters with Bill were my only other outlets. And he listened to me. And now, he has helped me… He has rescued me. And brought me to a place where I am safe and most important…wanted and loved.”

For the next fifteen minutes, Ellen went into all of the emotional, psychological, manipulative, and verbal abuse she suffered over the last nine months, uninterrupted. I knew of some of it, but the new revelations broke my heart.

We had been sitting on the floor at the base of my wall-mounted phone with Ellen on my lap. Leaning back against the wall with Ellen sitting between my legs with her back resting against my chest. My arms, which were wrapped around her, tightened into a protective cocoon at what I had just heard.

“But Ellen, can’t you two work this out? I mean divorce? Are you seriously considering that?”

Then her tone changed, from a mother’s concerned voice to one of frustration.

“So, you’re just quitting. Not even going to try to fix it. Just run away. Give up.”

Ellen let out a long frustrated sigh.

“Mom, this is why I didn’t tell you about what we were planning to do. I knew that you’d never understand. You would make it sound like it was all my fault and would try to talk me out of it. There’s a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough and knowing that there’s a better life for me, like right here.

“There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book. Mom, I’ve been turning the page of that book for the last six months, or so. Nothing has changed. Nothing has gotten any better… Things have actually gotten worse.

“That book is done, over. Bill came and rescued me and I’m staying here. If that means that I’m no longer yours and Dad’s daughter, then so be it. I’m deeply sorry but, I’ve made up my mind. I love Bill and I know that he loves me. He always has. I know that he will do anything for me because he already has. He has done more for me than just listen to me and nod his head at whatever I was saying. He really listens to me and he found a way to rescue me from HELL.

“So, unless you have anything else. Bill needs to call his parents back. I know that they are anxiously waiting to talk to him some more. I’m here during the day and we will both be here in the evenings if you want to talk some more. Please don’t throw me out of your lives. I really do love you both.

“One final thing. It should go without saying that Robert can NOT know any of what’s going on.”

“We’ll talk sweety. And no, we are not going to throw you out of our lives. We could never do that. We’ll work through it. It’s just a shock right now that you’re not just down the street from us. But, yes. We are both happy that you are safe. And we love you too. We’ll talk some more. Bye, Ellen. Take care.”

“Bye, Mom… Dad. And I love you too.”

The phone call with my mom and dad went pretty well. My mom had calmed down and her tone had softened. They listened as I went through what Ellen had been put through over the last six months, or so. They were shocked, as they knew nothing. Apparently, Ellen’s situation was not discussed between the families. It would now. They asked a few questions.

“So, now that Ellen will be living with you, and not just staying with you for a visit, are you going to look for a two-bedroom apartment?” my mom asked, but I think that she knew the answer.

Ellen and I looked at each other. We each kind of expected that subject would come up.

“No.”

Silence.

“OK. You two will be careful… right?”

“Yes, mom. We’ll be careful.”

I almost slipped and said, ‘Just like we always have been,’ but fortune stayed with me.

“Call us any time, collect. And Bill… Ellen. We love both of you. Always will. No matter what happens. Take care of each other. May God bless each of you.”

My mom’s voice cracking on those last sentences.

“Thank you, Mom… Dad. And we love you too.”

………………………………………………

Ellen and I each knew that both sets of parents would finally be talking and comparing notes. There would be many… many more telephone conversations. Both between Ellen and her mom during the day and then between me and my mom and dad in the evening. Nobody limited the calls to just Sunday evenings when the rates dropped. Too many things needed to be talked about. Communication was vital in keeping our families together.

It had been an emotion-draining day. We were each exhausted, and it was only 9:00.

Taking my favorite cousin in my arms. Our lips met for the first time since earlier that morning. It wasn’t a kiss of need… of hunger. Quite the opposite. It was slow. It was tender. It was our lips making love to each other.

“Ellen. What do you think of this? Let’s save the unpacking until tomorrow. Besides, you’re not going to be needing any clothes for tonight,” she blushed and grinned. It was cute.

“I’ve got your favorite wine… lots of it,” she grinned again.

“Then let’s soak in the Jacuzzi. Maybe a nude swim.”

“I’d like that. All of that.”

This time a playful smile.

“Then let’s come back here, take a shower, and then just see where things want to go. If you just want me to hold you. I’m fine with that. We have all the time in the world. We have the rest of our lives to love each other.”

Another long kiss held us captivated for the next few minutes.

And that is what we did. Ellen let out a relaxing sigh as she slipped into the warm and swirling water. There were two other couples in the Jacuzzi that I recognized. The guys did their best to be discrete when Ellen dropped her towel. I think that Ellen even had the attention of the two girls that sat next to the guys.

The nude swim in the dark and cool water was exhilarating. Ellen’s bare body against me, for the first time in a long time felt so natural. Even the coolness of the water didn’t take away the warmth our bodies gave to each other as we held each other in a tight embrace and our lips, once again, locked. My hands found her soft butt cheeks and gently massaged them. Ellen moaned through the kiss and pressed her breasts harder into my chest. My hard cock was not nestled between her soft thighs and delicate folds.

“mmmm. Looks like someone is happy to see me,” as she ground her mound against me and tightened her thighs around my cock.

Walking quickly back to my apartment with an engorged cock, was challenging. Fortunately, it was dark out, and late enough that we didn’t meet anyone.

The shower was just like old times: fun, playful, and sensual.

Ellen rested her head on my shoulder as the warm water cascaded down her body.

Cupping her breasts and just holding her after a long and emotion-packed day brought a closeness that we had missed so much. When Ellen’s hands covered mine we each let out a sigh of contentment.

“We’re here aren’t we?”

“Yes. We are right where we are supposed to be, where we have always been meant to be. I’m not going to let you go. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I will protect you with my life.”

“I know… I know.”

Even in the shower, I could feel her tears, as she moved my left hand up and over her heart. I swear, I could feel her heart beating.

Holding my favorite and very special cousin beside my bed, I couldn’t help but gaze into her hazel-green eyes. The same eyes that had held me in her spell each time she had visited me. The same eyes that sparkled each time we got together as we grew up with our families. And once again, our lips meet… and meet… and meet.

“Oh, Bill. I’ve dreamed of this moment ever since that night you called and told me what you wanted to do. To bring me here. To live together for the rest of our lives. I want you to do more than just hold me tonight. I want you to make love to me. And I want to make love to you. I know that technically, I’m still a married woman to another man. But that man… he’s not even that… that person, doesn’t exist. All that exists in my life is right here. The man who I’ve wanted to be part of my life forever. And now, we don’t have to hide what we feel for each other. Our families know what we will be doing tonight… and the next… and the next.

“So, Bill. My favorite cousin. Start our life together. Make love to me. Fill me with your cum. Make me yours and only yours. Because you are mine and only mine.”

We had made love many times during her visits. But tonight it was going to be on a different plane. A different dimension. Our dimension.

Ellen looked up at me with her eyes soft and relaxed in anticipation of our joining. But first. My lips gently kissed each closed eyelid. Then her cute little nose and each cheek. Leaving a trail of kisses along her extended neck and to the wide valley between her apple-sized breasts brought sighs of contentment, which were music to my ears. Ellen’s music. The music that had filled my heart so long ago. Music that I thought I would never ever hear again.

A long and an “Oh my,” as my tongue lightly brushed for one engorged pink nipple and then the other. More songs of contentment as my lips gently closed around each nipple and pulled. As my tongue swirled at that special spot where nipple met areola, Ellen groaned and pulled me into her heaving chest. My mouth slowly engulfs each nipple. I swear I could feel it grow as it ripened in the warmth of my mouth.

“More,” a hushed whisper.

And, yes, I wanted more. I wanted her. I wanted every part of her.

As my tongue, lips, and mouth made love to a nipple, my fingers twirled and flicked her other sensitive nipple that was still wet from my mouth. The melody my lover was singing was getting louder. Her breathing quickened. She was close. I grinned as Ellen fell from that first cliff of ecstasy as her body jolted three times like an electric shock had been applied to her body.

“Oh, god, Bill the things that you do to me.”

“Well, my love. I’m just getting started. There are so many more things I want and am going to do to you. Not just tonight but forever.”

“Please. Do whatever you want to and with me. I’m yours. Oh, god, I’m so yours.”

Ellen’s legs opened as a trail of light kisses made their way down her soft tummy, stopping to swirl my tongue through her little belly button. Rubbing my chin and then each cheek through her honey-blonde pubic hair felt softer and fuller than I remembered.

Light kisses followed by nibble to each of her inner thighs brought more soft coos. Casting my eyes up slightly… there it was… Ellen’s womanhood which had blossomed like a flower. Aroused and fragrant. Each petal was soft, thin, and pink. Inhaling deeply. Her aroma filled my lungs and became part of me. It was a fragrance that I had missed. And it was a taste that would soon be on my tongue.

Ellen let out an, “Oh, god,” as my tongue did a slow and broad stroke from the base of her oozing opening to her engorged pink clit which had emerged seeking some long-awaited attention. She tasted divine, like a fine wine. To be savored.

Her legs splayed to their maximum as her clit was on the receiving end of the tip of my tongue… up and down… back and forth. Repeat. Repeat. Tracing the tip of my tongue along each of her delicate folds.

The words coming out of Ellen’s mouth were unintelligible as she gave herself over to everything that her body and senses had been denied for so long. Ellen let out a prolonged groan as two fingers entered her inferno and gently swirled around that second button of her pleasure.

“Oh god… Don’t stop… Please don’t stop… It’s been so long. Bill, make me cum.”

If there had been any doubt about what was happening in my bedroom by my neighbors, that mystery was solved by the violent eruption that formed at Ellen’s core and spread through her body like a tsunami as it builds out at sea and crests once it reaches shore. Ellen’s body convulsed with each eruption. Her legs were open as wide as humanly possible.

“Bill,” pant, “Up here,” pant, “Kiss me,” pant, “I need to taste myself on your lips.”

Her tongue moved over my lips devouring her arousal. And when that wasn’t enough her tongue probed my mouth with a need.

“Bill, I need you inside of me. Make love to me. I know that you like to watch me ride you… trust me we’ll get there, and more. Right now. I just want to feel you move in and out of me. I want to feel you cum inside of me. Because I love you more this moment than anything in this whole wide world.”

The tip of my cock kissed the portal to her sexual being as if asking for permission to enter her sacred treasure. Permission was not required. Ellen reached between us, wrapped her hand around my hard cock, and guided me to where she wanted me.

That first moment of penetration and the slow journey through a woman’s hot and wet vagina cannot be described in words. It can only be experienced as we each let out a prolonged sigh and the words, “Oh my god.”

“Welcome home, my love. You have made all of this possible.”

I got into the slow and graceful rhythm that men and women have enjoyed since the beginning of time. As we mated… As we joined. Joined, not just physically, but spiritually as well. As I made love to the only person who mattered to me. Yes, we were soulmates… cousins… but that didn’t matter.

Ellen’s fingernails slowly and lightly raked across my back as I rolled my hips slowly withdrawing and slowly refilling. She offered her neck to my lips, which I gently nibbled on while fully embedded in her warmth. Her nipples were next as she rolled side to side for my tasting pleasure. Looking up at Ellen’s gentle smile as I nursed on each of her engorged nipples warmed my heart. How could any man not treat her with the love that she so deserved and craved?

Time stopped. Nothing existed outside of the world of passion and desire that we held for each other.

Pulling up, our eyes meet and all I could see was a woman being consumed by sensations that she had been deprived of for so long.

“I love you, Ellen.”

“I love you, Bill.”

Kiss.

“Bill, cum for me. Cum inside of me… Make me yours and only yours.”

My pace picked up. My pubic bone was pressing against her clit with every thrust. Ellen was close once again. I was close.

“Ellen, I’m going to cum.”

“Me too. Can you wait for me? If not, that’s fine,” she panted in her state of arousal.

Slowing, but moving side to side to keep pressure on her sensitive pearl. It was only moments when Ellen’s body stiffened one more time as her howl of release filled the room.

That did it. A dozen, or strokes later.

“Ellen.”

“Look at me. Look at me when you cum in me.”

A final and deep thrust. Our eyes bore into each other’s souls. My balls tightened. And I filled her with everything I had, before collapsing onto my lover. My soulmate. My best friend.

At first, it was quiet except for our shared breathing. I heard gentle sobs. Then tears against my cheeks followed by a body-racking sob as Ellen tightened her embrace and held me hard against her as all of the negativity, hurtfulness, and feelings of worthlessness that had consumed her for the past months came out and were expelled into the cosmos. Never ever to return.

We basked in the afterglow of our lovemaking.

“Thank you, Bill. My love. My soulmate. I can’t remember the last time that I felt like this… loved… special… appreciated… wanted for more than just my body for just a few seconds.

“I have never felt what I’m feeling right now. Even when I was here before, in this bed. So connected. So free to share my feelings with you without being judged or told that I was being stupid. I can tell you anything. I know that I can trust you with my life. Because I already have.

“I feel like a new woman. The old and defeated woman is gone. I don’t care what our families may think or do. All that I know, is that I will fight. I will fight with every ounce of my being to not let anyone destroy what we have right here, right now, and will have.

“I’m going to love sleeping with you every night… naked. I going love waking up next to you every morning, naked. Watching and listening to you sleep. And the best part is that I won’t have to leave and go home… because I will be home… right here with you for the rest of my life.”

…………………………………………….

Time went on. Ellen’s school was sorry to hear that she was leaving but wished her the best and added that if she needed any references to just let them know. All she told them was that she had moved to California to be with her best friend.

Robert was served at his work. Ellen’s attorney made sure of that. Ellen said that she wished she could have seen the look on his face as he was handed the papers in front of his co-workers.

At first, Robert was going to fight it. His true nature coming to the surface… his arrogance. No woman is going to make him look like a fool in front of his peers. Ellen’s attorney just replied, that so far, she was playing nice, but if he wanted to go that route, ‘have at it’. She would make his life an expensive hell. I mean, Ellen wasn’t looking for any alimony from him… she just wanted out.

And the nice thing was that she told Ellen that if he wanted to go that route she wouldn’t charge Ellen anything extra. She would make it personal. It would be her pleasure to give this scum what he deserved since she knew the circumstances behind the reason for the divorce.

Ellen found a medium-sized grade school that was perhaps a twenty-minute commute from where we lived. Pretty short, by California standards.

I confided in my boss, who was my best guy friend about my living arrangement, over lunch one day. All he said was ‘Congratulations. I can’t wait to meet the lucky girl’.

Over the phone, it seemed that the families had come to accept our arrangement. Conversations were frequent and friendly. The time leading up to our Christmas visit was a bit anxious for us. Phone conversations are one thing… face-to-face would be the telling moment.

In the end, there was no need for us to worry. Both sets of parents were at my parent’s house when we arrived and welcomed us with open arms and warm hearts. Ellen cried. We felt at home. Her mom, in a mother-and-daughter moment, told her that she had never seen her happier. And yes, we slept together.

It felt weird to be in my old bedroom with my naked cousin lying next to me. Ellen told me it felt weird to her too, as we spent one night in her old bedroom, naked. We, of course, behaved. Perhaps it was each of the parent’s way of coming to grips with our relationship and where it was heading. All that the rest of the family, and their friends knew was that Ellen and we lived… close to each other. Which was true.

And yes. A few years later Ellen and I got married in a little nondenominational church with both sets of parents proudly by our sides. Ellen’s dad, my uncle, was beaming as he walked his daughter up the aisle. This time he knew that she was on the right path.

Then there was the birth of our daughter, Jenna. Jenna inherited Ellen’s infectious smile and lively personality. Ellen laughed and said that she would have me wrapped around her finger in no time. She did.

So readers… this is truly the end. Hope you enjoyed it. There were parts of this chapter that were challenging to write, as I had never experienced abuse. If I messed up, please just overlook it. I did my best.

So until the next time… May the wind always be at your back and the sun on your face.

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