“See? Now that’s not so bad. She just wants love. Feel better?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Now, how about a special treat? I was going to put these fliers up around the neighborhood. How about you come with me?”
Her ears perked up at the offer. “Does Momo have to wear clothes?”
“For this, yes. We’ll be out in the streets, not alone in the park. We just have to hide your ears and tail and get something on your feet.”
I got her to put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt, deciding it would just be best to hide her tail in one of the pant legs. To cover her ears, I tied a bandana over her head and had her wear a pair of my old flip-flops. Frankly, the whole outfit made her look like a new recruit into a Latin street gang, but it would do.
“Ok, since we’ll be walking the streets, there might be other people around. If they try to talk to us or introduce themselves, just say “Hi, my name is Molly”, leave the rest of the talking to me, and I’ll try to get us out of it.”
“But Momo is Momo.”
“I know, but Molly sounds more human. You’re just pretending. We’ll put these fliers up around the neighborhood. Who knows, the dog might find her way back home if we go out looking. Are you ready?”
Momo looked at herself, as if judging her outfit. She curled her toes in the flip-flops and fidgeted with the bandana on her head, but finally nodded. She and the dog followed me outside, Momo relishing the feel of the sun after so much time. The dog quickly did her business in the front yard, with Momo flashing an angry gaze at me.
“Why does she get to do that outside? Shouldn’t she have to use the toilet like Momo?”
“First of all, you’re now a person. She’s not. Second of all, I’m not having sex with her. I need you to be clean.”
Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my fucking cat.
We started off down the sidewalk, Momo on one side of me and the dog on the other. Both of them looked happy to be outside, Momo especially glad since her only outside exposure had been the park at night. The last time she had walked the streets like this, she had just been a regular cat. It was a lovely summer afternoon, the sun nearing the horizon but still offering hours of illuminated activity, and the warmth was welcomed. The air was rich with the smell of grass and flowers from the manicured lawns and gardens. Right about now, parents were coming home from work, seeing their kids, maybe taking their dogs to the local park. The slamming of car doors was echoing down the street. At every street lamp, we stopped and I taped up a flyer.
“So why don’t you like her?” I asked, making Momo pout.
“Momo doesn’t trust her. She’s just waiting for a chance to eat Momo and take Master.”
“Ah, so you’re jealous. You’re mad that you’re not getting all of Master’s attention, that there is another furry friend in the house.” Momo continued to pout. She was acting surprisingly human. I put my arm around her and pulled her close. “Don’t worry, she can never replace you. She’s just a cute airhead, a big pile of fur that wants to be petted and rubbed.”
“So is Momo!” she cried. That actually made me laugh a bit.
“But I can’t talk with her, I can’t rely on her, I can’t play with her in the special way we do.”
Finally, she smiled. “Momo loves Master.”
“And Master loves Momo. Now come on, let’s put the rest of these fliers up and get home. I promised you a big meaty dinner.”
Weeks passed and no one came for the dog. I never received a single phone call, and even posting online yielded no results. Either she had come from far away or nobody was looking for her, and I eventually came to realize that she was now mine. But on the plus side, Sonja (as I decided to call her) made herself right at home. I took her to the vet, got her all checked out and up to date on her vaccinations, and then dropped her off at a groomer to shave off all of that matted hair. Every day I would wake up, my dog snuggled up with me on one side and my cat-turned-human on the other. I would feed the two of them, go to work, come back, and then we’d take our evening walk. When we relaxed on the couch, I would sit in the middle with Momo’s head on one thigh and Sonja’s head on the other.
Sex with Momo unfortunately lost some of its frequency. We’d have to wait for Sonja to fall asleep in one room and then go into another. Otherwise, she would come up to us, thinking we were just wrestling and wanting to get involved. Not to mention that it’s awkward to fuck when your dog is on the other side of the mattress, watching you.
At least Momo and Sonja learned to get along. Momo still didn’t trust or like Sonja and kept her food bowl away from her, but when the dog came up to her, she would at least pat her head.
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