“You’ve got to show me how you do that,” I said, “do you keep a match in your palm or something?”
“I can summon the flame of hell-fire at will.” Lucy smiled. It was a little weird that she was staying in character after the party, but I didn’t give a shit. She could extinguish that square on balls if it meant she’d lick them.
“You were talking about Rachel?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Lucy said, blowing out a smoky shape of a woman bending over (how fucking cool was that?), “Rachel is in hell and needs you to have sex with her.”
“What?!” I yelled. Why is it that the hot ones I bring home are always fucking crazy? This is Allison all over again.
“Your sister, Rachel, is in hell with God, in my therapist’s office, waiting for me to bring you over to have sex with her.” Lucy said in a very matter-of-fact way. This bitch was hot, but not hot enough to ignore the red flags flying from every post of my mind.
“Ooooookkkkaaaaay,” I said, getting up, “you need to leave.”
“Oh, you still think I’m a cosplay slut you met at the party last night?” Lucy laughed, “I thought I dropped enough hints, but apparently, I was too subtle. Why don’t you look out your window?”
“Why the fuck-”
Welp, my hyper-religious parents were right all along. Hell was real, I was a sinner, and now I was being punished. Outside my window was a sea of lava, and billions of naked bodies writhing in torturous…wait, no, they’re all fucking; not so bad after all. I didn’t recall dying last night, but given how much alcohol I remember consuming, my death was probably embarrassing as fuck, and posted on LiveLeak by now. I hope I didn’t shit myself. I definitely shit myself.
“Satan,” I said to the beautiful queen of evil, “did I shit myself when I died? Because I have this problem where if I drink too much-”
“You’re not dead, Brian.” Satan laughed, “you’re just visiting, like your sister. And call me Lucy.”
“Right,” I said, snapping my fingers, “you want me to fuck my sister. I’m not doing it.”
“It’ll only be for a little-”
“I. Am. Not. Having. Sex. With. My. Sister!” I yelled. “End of story! Now take me back to my apartment so I can smoke my bowl in peace!”
“Have you ever seen those movies where someone makes a deal with the devil, and then they get everything they want?” Lucy said, standing up and walking seductively to me, “I can give you anything you want.”
“I want you to leave me alone,” I said, “and not ask me to have sex with my sister.”
“I could give you fortune-”
“Not interested.”
“Fame?”
“Don’t need it.”
“All the women you could ever desire? I could suck your-”
“I can masturbate.”
“Holy shit,” Lucy grumbled, “you and your sister are the two most stubborn fucking people I’ve ever met. I had my fist eight inches up her ass yesterday-”
“I don’t want to hear about that!” I grimaced. “What are you doing with her anyway?”
“God and I make these bets,” Lucy explained, “where God makes a human of pure spirit, and I try to corrupt them. So far, Rachel has passed the first test. The second test is where I find her deepest, darkest fantasy and make it a reality. And you, Brian, are that fantasy.”
“What the fuck,” I said, “Rachel wants to have sex with me?! She’s a fucking Jesus-freak! She goes to the confession box for just thinking about things!”
“And she’s been thinking about you, and what you have between your legs for quite some time.” Lucy smirked, “I guess she suppresses these thoughts so deeply, she won’t even confess them to a priest. But she confessed them to me, Brian. Your precious little sister wants you balls-deep in her virgin pussy.”
“What the fuck…” I said, sitting down on the couch in shock.
“The origin of this depravity lies somewhere in the pages of your history,” Lucy said as she walked behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders, “let’s take a look, shall we?”
A book appeared in my lap, and Lucy opened it. Her hands were delicate, with long fingers and black nail polish. She paged though the book of empty sheets and then stopped.
“Here….” She hissed, “this is where it all started.”
The page came to life in a screen of moving colors and then focused. It was from the viewpoint of my eyes. I was yelling at my parents, pointing an accusing finger at them, and then gesturing to Rachel sobbing on the floor. She was fifteen at the time, and she’d just been caught texting a boy from school. It was nothing salacious, it was an innocuous “hi,” but it was enough for my parents to come down on her hard. I defended her, I stood up for her and tried to explain reason to my parents. I told them they were ruining her, that she’d never function as an adult if they kept treating her this way. They threw her in the closet and screamed passages from the bible at her. I tore her from the closet and punched my old man in the face when he tried to stop me.
That was the last time we ever saw our parents. Rachel lived with me until she graduated high school and went to ASU. I feared that the damage of her youth was permanent, that she’d never escape from the shell our parents put her in. She prayed every day, she followed the word of God to the letter, and she wore a cross at all times, not even taking it off in the shower. She never had any fun, never made any friends, and she barely talked to anyone but me. All I could do was encourage her to be herself and hope that she’d open up to new experiences. And ever since I had dragged her from that hell-hole of a house, she’d wanted to fuck me. What the fuck.
“That was quite the thing you did for her,” Lucy’s voice whispered in my ear, “no wonder she sees you the way she does. You saved her, Brian, and that night, she touched herself for the first time, thinking about you.”
“Get the fuck away from me!” I growled.
“That’s not how this works,” Lucy whispered, her voice a mix of lust and malice, “you see, Rachel’s stuck here until she either passes my test, or fails it, in which case she’ll willingly join me in hell. God thinks Rachel could be the next messiah, and Rachel really pines for God’s approval. If you don’t help me, Brian, then Rachel can’t pass her test, and she’ll stay down here forever, stuck in my therapist office, waiting for you to save her, once again.”
“Jesus Christ,” I exclaimed, “you really are an evil bitch.”
“I’m not so bad once you get to know me,” Lucy laughed as she massaged my shoulders, “God however, God is a piece of work.”
“He gambles with innocent people’s souls,” I sighed, “he sounds like a real old-testament asshole.”
“She, Brian, God is a woman. And she’s not an asshole; she really does try to do good, it’s just…she’s kind of stupid. I mean, she knows everything in the universe, but her judgement is poor, to put it nicely.”
“So, I have to have sex with my sister to save her soul?” I said.
“That’s right,” Lucy replied, “and really put your back into it, Brian; Rachel needs to feel like you’re not just doing her a favor.”
“You are a disgusting person, Lucy.” I said, tilting my head up until our eyes met.
“And once you do what I ask,” Lucy smiled down at me, her hands sliding from my shoulders and tracing down my torso, “you’ll get to see how disgusting I really am.”
RACHEL
I woke up from my trance to see God’s beautiful face smiling down at me.
“What happened?” I asked her.
“You confessed your darkest fantasy to Lucy.” God said, her hand gently petting my hair.
“And?” I asked, “What is it?”
“You…” God said, “You want…to fuck your older brother.”
“What?!” I screamed as I shot up, “No, no, no. No I do not!”
“It’s OK,” God said, putting her calming hands on my shoulders, “it’s a little on the freakier side of things, but it’s not unheard of. I’m not one to judge; I mean, if I had a brother I’d have definitely fucked him by now.”
“It’s unnatural!” I cried, “It’s an abomination, a sin!”
“Hey, honey,” God said, “let’s pump the brakes here, OK? I’m the one who decides what a sin is, and I know you read the bible; there is a ton of incest. I mean, Adam and Eve? How the fuck do you think they got grandkids?!”
“I guess, if the bible says it’s Ok…”
“That’s the spirt!” God said, “For once, telling someone to read the bible was actually a good idea!”
“I know you’re testing my faith-”
“It was a joke, Rachel.” God laughed, “Reading the bible is a terrible idea; I didn’t write that shit.”
“I will remain faithful to your word, even if you try to sway me otherwise.” I smiled.
“Oh,” God beamed and pinched my cheek, “you are just too perfect.”
Lucy and Brian appeared in puff of black smoke. Brian looked more than a little confused, and I hoped Lucy had brought him up to speed on our situation; I didn’t want to be the one to tell him what he needed to do.
“Rachel!” Brian exclaimed when his eyes met me. He embraced me tightly, and I hugged him back.
“Brian,” I said, pressing my face into his chest, “it’s so good to see you!”
“You and mom and dad were right all along,” Brian said as he pulled away, “all of this Jesus bumbo-jumbo is true.”
“Most of it’s actually bullshit.” God said, extending a hand to Brian, “Hi, I’m God.”
“Hi…God.” Brian said, awkwardly shaking the almighty’s hand.
“I take it you’re not a fan?” God chuckled, “Is it because you didn’t believe in me?”
“It mostly has to do with what you and your red friend are asking me to do,” Brian said, scowling at God before turning to me, “Lucy’s full of shit, right? You don’t actually…”
“She’s not,” I said, hanging my head in shame, “I’ve…I’ve always…ever since you…”
“It’s OK,” Brian said, holding me close as I cried into his chest, “Mom and Dad never let you do anything. You were stuck in your room for most of your teen years, when you should have been out with friends and flirting with boys. It only makes sense that you became attracted to the one boy you spent any time with. It’s not your fault, Rachel, it’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry, Brian,” I sniffed, “I’m sorry you have to do this.”
“It’s alright,” Brian said, pulling my face off his chest, “it’s OK, Rachel. You’re my sister, and I’d do anything for you. I never thought I’d have to do this, but I’ll do it to keep you safe. I love you, Rachel.”
“Oh, my god,” God sniffed as she wiped away a tear, “that was so beautiful!”
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