“ I’m sorry alright what do you axpect for me to say.” I exclaim with a dry mouth
“ By telling us what caused you to try suicide and not talk to us in the first place.” Adam says as Jack nod with arms crossed
I lay there knowing their right. They have been here for me the past month since May died. I needed to tell them the truth. So I start telling them of my father that died, to how I went to private school, then the summers after that. Once I tell them of my family leaving me and my mother remarried before that they shake their heads. I tell them of the night before my High school graduation as they both show anger.
“ Those bitches talk about cruel and unfeeling.” Jack says as Adam agrees with a nod before continuing “ Well Bro that’s not going to happen again. You have us to watch your back, and keep the assholes away.”
“ And besides we need you just as much Heath. We care and love you bro.” Adam tells me as Jack nods agreeing
“ I am so sorry guys. Please forgive me.” I says stating as they look at me intently
“ We forgive you, but if you ever I mean ever try that shit again I will bring you back only to kill you myself. You hear me Heath?” Jack asks with a stern voice only to get a nod
“ Ok then now to something just as serious.” Adam says as I see Jack stepping away
“ You tell him as I can’t hear that again. Text me when your done Adam ok.” Jack says walking out
“ Um ok I take whatever it is I am not going to like.” I say as Adam shakes his head
“ No your not bro, but we will help to make sure the worst doesn’t happen ok.” Adam says as I see a tear
“ Ok as to your face it’s bad. Just tell me Abs don’t keep me in the dark.” I say as he takes my right hand
“ Heath you have a condition that it’s hard to say.” Adam says as I see his tears start to show more
“ What is it man I can’t have kids? What is it?” I ask as he shakes his head
“ Heath it’s.” He tries to say before breaking down leaving me in the dark
After Jack left as to not hear the seriousness of my condition I suppose. It took 20 minutes before Adam started to compose himself before he could speak. I knew something was wrong for his tears never stopped. Adam took my right hand again looking in my eyes.
“ Heath bro before I explain the serious part of your stupidity.” Adam paused glancing down at his wrist to only look back in my eyes continuing “ I want you to know you are not the only you to know pain.”
“ Adam I know I am not the only one, but please tell me what is going on.” I state as Adam shakes his head
“ Sorry Heath first your going to listen to my story.” My best friend tells me as I sigh
“ Alright tell me then after you better explain why Jack left.” I say seeing Adam nod
“ My pain I think is not so different from yours. I have tried so many times to commit my own suicide but it never worked.” He tells me letting go of my hand
I sit in bed looking at my brother as he starts to roll up his left sleeve. He has a wide band on his watch. You know I never thought about it, but he always wears long sleeve shirts and a wide banded watch. Adam sighs looking into my eyes as he removes the watch. I look at his left wrist and I see deep gashes and lots of them.
“Heath I know your pain bro, I had a bad childhood and when I was thirteen I tried to end it. Luckily for me if you will I was at school when I tried it and someone came into the restroom and they called the paramedics. I’ve tried multiple times,drinking til I passed out. Pills like you, shit I even tried to hang myself in the backyard that I grew up in.” States Adam as if we are talking about a assignment for class
I look at him wide eyed because he always seemed so peaceful and calm like everything was good in his life.
“ After a while I realized that I was only hurting myself and no one else. I stopped and made myself a promise…I was going to leave my hometown when I graduated and never look back. That place only holds bad memories. When I got here I was scared that I wouldn’t fit in, but then I met you in the cafeteria and I liked you right away. I thought here was a guy that might accept me and be my friend.” I look at him dumbfounded as it all starts to sink in before he continues,Then I find out your my roomie, and we got along so well. You even took me to meet May and she treated me like family just like you and Jack. Heath i KNOW the pain and I’ve BEEN there. Please don’t try it again ok bro. I need you just like Jack, but you two are my only family and I don’t know what I’d do if i lost either of you.”””
After finishing that statement Adam hugs me so tight that I swear he was trying to crush my ribs
I tap his shoulder to get him to lighten up which he does. I look at him in the face and tell him,
“ I promise you Adam I won’t try it again, but will find either you and Jack. I will find and talk with you guys if I ever feel overwhelmed ok?” Adam smiles which is something he only does around jack and me and I wonder who has hurt my brother so bad that he doesn’t talk to many people and lets even less into his heart
“ So are you going to tell me what is wrong with me?” I ask as he sighs getting serious
“ Ok all the pills you took had a affect on your heart.” He tells me as I nod before hearing more “ The doctor says that your heart can’t take a lot of shock. As if you get upset or overly stressed. He states that to him you could black out or have seizures. So he is going to put you on a medication to help keep you calm, plus help your heart stay strong. That is why Jack left as he is afraid that someday if you get overly angry you might die.”
I take in all that Adam tells me only to let out a sigh. I look to see he is even afraid of something happening to me.
“ Well guess we keep all the assholes as bro called them away, or tell them to shut up if they start the drama.” I say as he chuckles getting me to join him
“ Well since I told you might as well send Jack a text telling him the coast is clear.” Adam says getting out his phone
After he sends our bro a text. Adam and I start talking about Christmas. I watch the door open to a upset Jack. He comes over to us except on the left side of the bed I am in. He takes my left hand looking down in my eyes.
“ I am not going to yell, but if you ever pull this shit again I will stick my foot up your butt.” He tells me with a stern look
“ I promise you like I did Abs I will never do this again.” I tell him as he nods leaning down half hugging me as my stomach growls before he raises continuing “ Did you fart bro?”
“ No it’s my stomach growling.” I say seeing him shake his head
“ Did you fart ewww.” Jack says as I protest before he tries to sing
“ Wild Fart
You make my heart stink
You make everything smelly
Wild Fart”
Adam and I are laughing so hard as he tried to sing to the beat of Wild Thing. Jack is keeping his tune as I feel my ribs start to hurt. As Adam goes over to gag Jack.
“ Hey stop Adam bro. I’ll stop jeez just trying to lighten the mood.” Jack says as Adam stops
“ Good as our brother didn’t fart. He is hungry so go get him something to eat.” Adam says playing big brother
“ Hey why me? And besides it’s freaking 3 a.m on a early Saturday morning.” Jack says as my eyes widen
“ Really? That late at night how long was I out?” I ask getting some serious looks
“ Five hours bro, and yes we have been here the whole time.” Jack tells me a I am floored
“ Damn I am so sorry for spoiling the weekend.” I say getting a hit to my left leg
“ I hope that hurt as your more important then a weekend. So what about Christmas as in what are we doing?” Jack says asking Adam and I
I lay there thinking on Jack’s question when I smile to my two true friends.
“ We spend it at May’s….I mean my home. I think May would like us there all together.” I answer as both look at each other then at me
“ Likes that idea as it will be more comfortable, plus the kitchen will help me.” Jack says as Adam and I look with raised eye brows
“ What do you mean the kitchen will help you?” I ask as Adam agrees silently
“ Hey I know how to cook, and Christmas I will prove it.” Jack says as Adam looks at me concerned
“ Ok bro, but if it catches fire you will owe Heath a kitchen.” Adam says as I nod
“ I promise not to burn the kitchen up.” Jack says with a sincere look
“ Alright you can cook our meal, but what is it your cooking?” I ask getting a smile
“ Surf and Turf, baked potatoes, rolls and some kind of desert. What do you bro’s think?” Jack states as Adam and I think
I lay there thinking of desert. I look over at Adam to see he is thinking hard. I know what I want to get him that will make that face very happy. Would have to get two though for us all. I also think of how fortunate I am to have them both. I never thought in a million years these two would actually be here right now. Just shows I was so very wrong.
I smile as I know of another idea I want to start on that will help me with my stress factor now. I feel such like a fool for trying to take my life, but only if I thought more clearly. I look up at the ceiling and hope two people hear me. As I send my thought quietly I speak from my soul. ‘ Sorry dad and grandma May for almost goofing up. And thank you lord for these two guys coming in my life as May did. I love you grandma and dad.’ I look to see Jack and Adam arguing over the remote for the t.v. as I chuckle. Yep this was going to be a interesting Christmas holiday.
I was released from the hospital on Sunday morning. The doctor wanted to keep me for observation. He gave me strict instructions, but also some pills to keep me calm. He stated I was not to get upset at any cost. Adam and Jack informed him I wouldn’t as they were my brothers and would make sure I stayed mellow and calm. He nods taking their promise as Jack drives Adam and I to my truck. I told them I wanted to go Christmas shopping for them. Adam tells me he didn’t want anything except us as close friends.
I smile giving him a nod, but in the back of my mind I know what I am getting him for the holiday. I get in my truck, but not before promising to call if something happens. Jack says they will go ahead, and pick up what he needed for our Christmas meal. Once we split up going different directions I make my way to the place that Adam goes to get the cake he so much loves. He thinks Jack and I don’t know, but we do thinking it’s good for him to have happiness. Once I reach the nice little bakery I park going in to purchase two chocolate chip cakes. I smile to the image I have in my head of Adam’s face. After purchasing the cakes and leave I make my way to the mall.
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