The next time I saw her was a few weeks later, on a Friday night. It had been a while since Jessica had stayed over, but it used to be the norm. Pretty much every week she’d come over for dinner, then stay the night and all of Saturday.
She’d arrived late, it was almost midnight and my parents were already in bed. I’d been sitting in at the kitchen table, on my laptop, when she arrived. I stayed in there for as long as I could, hoping she would leave. When I realised she was staying, I wanted to go straight to my bedroom, avoiding her completely. Only problem was, I’d left my laptop charger in the living room, and my battery was running low. If I wanted to maintain my one link to the internet, I’d have to go where Rose and Jessica were now talking alone.
I couldn’t decide.
I approached the door to the living room. It wasn’t closed all the way, and I could hear them talking. I didn’t want to go in. I didn’t even want to see her. I felt the familiar flare of nervousness, shame, and fear that was my constant companion throughout my encounters with Jessica.
I just waited outside the door, chastising myself for my cowardice.
I couldn’t help but listen.
“So how come you’re not with him tonight?” asked Rose.
“We’ve just been spending a lot of time together, you know? I mean, every Friday night for weeks now.” said Jessica.
They were talking about her boyfriend, I assumed.
“So…you’ve been fucking, then?” said Rose.
I instantly felt even worse about what I was doing. This was private.
But I really wanted to hear this, suddenly.
“Well, yeah.” said Jessica.
“And it…isn’t any better?” said Rose.
Jessica sighed.
“No…it’s still not…not great.” she said.
Whoa, her handsome, popular, ‘alpha male’ boyfriend was shit in bed?
I couldn’t help but smile.
“I think it might be…” she trailed off.
“What?” asked Rose.
“It’s kind of embarrassing.” she said.
Rose laughed.
“Come on, seriously, you’re not going to tell me?” she said.
Jessica laughed too.
I guessed that they told each other everything, so this was like an in-joke or something.
“OK,” said Jessica, “Well basically it’s…uh, I don’t really know how to say this…”
“Yeah?” said Rose.
“I think he might be…a little bit too small.” said Jessica.
“Wow, really?” said Rose.
“Yeah…I think. I just don’t, you know, feel a lot from it. I mean, I’ve never been with anyone else, so I don’t really know, but-”
“Wait, wait, how big is he?” asked Rose.
There was a pause.
“Maybe…like…this size?” said Jessica.
She was gesturing, but I couldn’t see it.
Rose burst out laughing.
“Oh my God, really?” she said.
Jessica was laughing along a little too.
“Why?” she asked, “Is that not good?”
“Fuck no!” Rose giggled.
I could only assume that this meant that he was hung like a hamster, or something.
“Wait, is that when it’s hard?”, asked Rose.
“Yeah…” said Jessica.
“Wow, that is…not good.”
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