Bartending: Competition with Benefits by skomar

It was a Tuesday, and the usual early evening crowd sat around. We were discussing the latest news in town. Now, this bar was in a small town halfway between Philly and AC. I worked here a couple of nights and every Friday. The town was not big but it was the only bar for around ten miles or so. The locals came in and kept the place busy. I kept them entertained. I made good money and had very few problems. During Happy Hour, I held Town Talk. Being that I lived 30 minutes away, I wanted to know what was going on. Tell me what is going on in the little corner of paradise. The whole bar would gossip and BS about town events. It was always humorous, never mean. I made sure of that. People used to come in, especially for the few hours we did it. This time, one of my regulars mentioned a new bartender at a bar down the road. He was talking about her being cute. Another guy mentioned she was young. Then another talked about her bubbly personality. I commented that she was new and that with customers like them, the bubbly personality would go away soon.“Sounds like someone is jealous,” someone said.

“I just hope you talk about me to the other bartenders,” I joked. “I’m not sure I appreciate youse talking about another bartender in front of me. I don’t talk about my other customers in front of you.”

We all laughed. “I feel like they you’re cheating on me.” I made a pouty face and jokingly stomped to the other side of the bar.

“We are cheating on you,” one said.

“I knew I smelled beer on your breath when you walked in,” I challenged.

“This is actually our break-up speech,” another joked. “It’s not us, It’s you,” he said.

“That’s what all the customers say when they leave me…” I said

“She knows how to treat me right,” a third kidded.

“ Is putting your bottle down at your seat before your butt hits the stool not enough for you?” I ask

“Feel free to head on down there, I’m sure I can keep your wives and girlfriends comfy and warm here while you’re gone,” I told them.

“I don’t know Sko, she is kinda sexy,” one of the ladies at the bar said.

“Et Tu?,” I said all dramatically. I grabbed my chest, “I can feel my heart breaking. You, ladies, were my last hope.“

“Maybe if you showed some skin”, another girl said.

“I am appalled that you would suggest that,” I acted all offended then turned, “I’ll talk to the owner about muscle shirts and shorts do you think that would help?”

“How about shirtless and boxers,” one woman suggests.

“Or a g-string.” another shouted.

“Yeah, one we’d lose the liquor license, and two that would definitely drive the guys out. I am trying to keep you all. Besides that bar is a clear ten miles further down the road. We all know that is just too far. This place is just closer to home and convenient. I have no worries. In the end the best bartender,” I point to myself, “will prevail. Besides, she’s got a whole town of regulars to herself. She doesn’t have room for youse. Just in case though,” I unbuttoned my shirt a few buttons and rolled my sleeves way up. I walked around flexing for a few minutes. I also managed to pick something up off the floor in front of every girl at the bar. In other words, I bent over and stuck my butt in the air in front of all the ladies at the bar. There were hoots and hollers. Everyone laughed. We traded jabs back and forth for a while. Then moved on to the next topic. They were talking about building a Wal-Mart 20 miles away. Nobody was quite sure what a Wal-Mart was but it can’t be good. The afternoon turned into the evening which faded into night. Slowly the crowd died off. I was cleaning up and figured since I hadn’t had a customer in half an hour, I’d shut down. I decided to check out my competition. Do some leg work and see what all the hubbub was. I drove down the road.

The bar down the road had a handful of people in it. I took a seat at the corner and nodded to a few familiar faces. After a minute or so, the new bartender sauntered up, “Hi I’m Emma, What can I get for you?”

“I’ll have a Yuengling lager.”

She smiled and walked over to the cooler. I noticed her hot ass in tight jeans as she bent over to grab my beer from the cooler. On previous occasions, I had sat in the same exact seat when visiting this bar. I had never noticed before that it was the perfect spot. I could watch the barmaid bend over to grab beers from the cooler. I got a great view of all her assets, Course none of the other bartenders had an ass like that to watch. Probably why I did not notice previously.

She walked back over and I put a twenty on the bar. She grabbed it and walked to the register. She was young. You only had to be 18 to tend bar in NJ, but most places would not hire you till you were at least 20. Of course, they made exceptions for hot girls and Emma qualified. She was 5’4” and probably weighed 100 pounds. Emma had her red hair pulled up in a ponytail tied with a ribbon. Her face was freckled and she had bright blue eyes. She was wearing a blue blouse that was unbuttoned enough to show just the right amount of cleavage from her breasts to tease anyone looking. She put my change on the bar, smiled, and walked over to refresh the drinks of some others at the bar. I watched her bounce around the bar interacting with the others. She was all smiles and flirty. She was giggling and joking. She looked like a little girl having fun. She came skipping back over to me. Her breasts bounced with each step.

“So what brings you in tonight?”

“Just got done work. Figured I’d grab a beer or two and relax.”

“It’s past one am, what work keeps you this late?”

“I’m your competition.”

“My what?”

“I’m the bartender from the place down the road. We were slow and I heard there was a new bartender. I closed early and figured I’d come and say hi. So… uh… Hi… I’m…”

“Sko,“ she interrupted, “I’ve heard of you.” Her eyes went thin and a scowl came across her face. “Some of the customers have talked about you.”

Ut Oh, I thought. “Wow, I didn’t know I had a reputation. I wouldn’t believe everything you hear. Sometimes jealous individuals spread lies and innuendos. Lots of exaggerations and rumors.” I smiled, winking. Comedy was my default defensive demeanor. I started to go through my mind and see if I could remember meeting her before. I’m good with faces, especially pretty girls, but I did not recognize her. “I apologize if I offended you in some way, that was not my intention.”

“You come in here claiming you are my competition. You are no competition to me. I don’t even think you are on the same level.”

Wow, snotty bitch. That’s strike one. I thought. “Ok, wow. Just an expression. I meant no trouble.I come in here often, I’m used to joking around with the other bartenders.” I smiled and put my hands up.

“Put your hands down. Look, you think just cause you work down the road, you’re my competition. You come in here acting all high and mighty.” Her voice rose, “You want competition, let’s do a challenge,” Now she had the attention of the bar. I swear I heard the music stop.

“Uh, ok, what kinda challenge who can become more psycho?” What the fuck is going on here? Went through my mind.

“You’re a real bartender right.” The bar was quiet. Now everyone was staring at us.

“Ahh… yeah. I bartend.” I was getting a little pissed at this pretentious bitch. I kept my smile and swigged my beer. I shook my head.

“I challenge you to shots of Jose.”

“Oooooh the bar,” roared

“Look what the hell would that prove? Doing shots of…” My mind froze. I stopped mid-sentence.

A little background is necessary here. Jose Cuervo and I used to be really good friends. We hung out often. One night a few years back, Jose and I had a battle. I didn’t realize I was fighting this battle. Jose did and he kicked my ass. Over the next few days, I recovered from Jose’s ass-whooping. It was not easy. Jose and I don’t hang out anymore. Never. This is a well-known fact by several people that I have gone drinking with. One of those people was Jackie, the manager of this bar.

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue or is ya scared?” She taunted me. The bar started clucking. A half dozen or so people clucking.

“Alright peanut gallery, knock it off. You got me, where’s Jackie?”

Emma smiled. Jackie walked out of the kitchen. The bar started laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Emma said laughingly, “It was Jackie’s idea.”

“I was thinking what the fuck, psycho, right up until you said Jose.” I laughed, “Then it all hit and I started looking for Jackie.“

Jackie put a marker in front of me indicating my next drink was paid for. “I was outside when you pulled in. I ran inside and told everybody at the bar what to do. Then I hid.”

“Yeah, you got me good,” I said.

“Sorry Sko had to get ya.” Jackie gave me a hug and walked back toward the office. “ I gotta finish up some paperwork. Be back out in a bit.”

“No worries, a good joke is worth it. Just remember, payback is a bitch,” I winked at her and she smiled and went back

Emma strolled back over “Really, I am sorry,” she repeated. “It was fun acting mad. I was trying to figure out how to work Tequila into the whole thing.”

“No, you were convincing. You do a good psycho, which is disconcerting but good acting I hope.” I replied.

“No, I’m innocent and cheerful, I promise.” she raised her right hand like she was swearing an oath in court. “So you are the infamous Sko. It seems everybody is talking about Sko.”

“People have been talking about me? What have they been saying?”

“They were joking that I was a female version of this guy down the street called Sko. They said you are always happy, joking, and flirting with everyone. I guess they feel I do the same.”

”Well at least it’s good things they are saying.”

“My mother goes to your place all the time and she talks about you too. She says you are a fun and happy-go-lucky person.”