We also quickly made the shocking discovery–much to our chagrin–that condoms were not the reliable method of birth control that Hollywood film makers had always led us on to believe. The third time that Ray and I ever had sexual intercourse together, the stupid condom broke. And as fate–and Murphy’s Law–would have it, the condom broke while Ray was balls-deep inside me, humping away. And yes, he did ejaculate his whole wad of sperm deep inside me, right up against my totally-unprotected cervix.
About a week or so later, when my next period finally came, I was never so happy to have my pussy start bleeding. And as you can imagine, Ray was just as relieved as I was.
After that, for the six weeks or so, Ray and I began using spermicidal foam in conjunction with the condoms as our go-to birth control measures, which was a damn good thing, since about every third or fourth condom would break inside me while Ray was humping away.
And that still left us both feeling less than comfortable, because the spermicidal foam was never meant to be used by itself, since it was much less effective at preventing pregnancy than several other types of birth control that were available to us back then.
So I finally went to the doctor and got on The Pill. And that ended our birth control dilemma. The Pill allowed Ray and I to freely revel in our sexuality without either of us having to worry about my getting pregnant.
Over the course of the next several months, Ray and I candidly talked about each other’s private sexual fantasies, our earlier romantic relationships with other people, our sexual preferences, and various other often-taboo sexually-related topics. We did this, usually as a prelude to our lovemaking.
During this same time period, Ray and I experimented freely during sex, as we both tried new things. We also coached each other on how each of us could become better sex partners for the other person. And through this extensive sexual coaching, Ray soon discovered that I had some very unique sexual tastes and desires.
As Ray and I kept on experimenting and coaching each other, our lovemaking quickly transformed into something that had little resemblance to what it had been, when Ray and I had first begun having sex together.
At one point, Ray admitted to me that my unique sexuality really baffled him. And he couldn’t believe that we both had so much in common, when it came to our sexual preferences and desires.
Then one day, Ray and I were lying naked in bed together in the late afternoon, talking and fondling each other’s genitals, like we always did during the earliest stages of our foreplay. We started talking about our ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends, and about how “far” we had gone (sexually) with each of them, during our past relationships. And that’s when Ray decided to share his own “dirty little secret” with me.
Ray’s “dirty little secret” turned out to be that the first person he ever had sex with was another boy. Ray told me that, back when he was much younger, his close long-time friend, Chris–who was a year older than him–seduced Ray into having sex, by offering to suck his dick. Ray also admitted to me that, after Chris had finished sucking his dick, he had ended up sucking Chris’s dick too. Ray then described exactly how everything happened between him and his friend that evening.
I was intrigued and blown away by Ray’s confession. Needless to say, I found it to be both exciting and erotic that my future husband-to-be had actually jacked off and sucked another boy’s dick. And I admired Ray for his having been completely honest with me about his sexual past.
I knew that I needed to do the same thing, and tell Ray all about Freddy. But I was scared that Ray would get angry and break up with me, when I finally admitted to him that I had been lying to him all along about my being a virgin when we first met.
Not only that, but at this point, Freddy was not at the top of my list of intimate things that I wanted to discuss with my lover. Chris was. And so during the next few days, every time that Ray and I had sex, I found myself bringing up the subject of “Chris” during our foreplay. I just couldn’t help myself. The lingering curiosity was overwhelming. I felt like I just had to find out as much as I possibly could about Ray’s “dirty little secret.”
And Ray didn’t seem to mind my barrage of probing questions. He patiently answered each and every one of my questions–even the most embarrassing ones–as he went on to share every little detail with me about his sexual encounter with Chris.
Two more weeks went by, as I continued to struggle with my own dilemma of not knowing when or how I should bring up the subject of “Freddy” to Ray. And then one day, Ray and I were lying naked in bed together, talking and fondling each other’s genitals, as we were getting in the mood to have sex. And that’s when something came over me, and I decided that this was the right time to finally share my “dirty little secret” with Ray.
So I asked Ray point-blank how he would feel if he found out that I wasn’t a virgin when we first met. And then I went on to eventually tell him all about Freddy.
And Ray just kept on asking me questions. And I kept on answering them as best as I could, until I was finally finished telling him my story about Freddy.
“So how do you feel about everything that I’ve just told you? Come on, be honest with me,” I asked Ray.
And Ray told me that the whole thing turned him on a lot. And he said that if I would let him fuck me, he would prove to me just how much my telling him about Freddy had turned him on.
I was giggling away in anticipation as I spread my legs wide apart, so that Ray could mount me in a missionary position. He eased the head of his rock-hard penis into my sopping-wet honey pot, all the way up to the hilt, in one slow smooth thrust. And then he just left his dick in place, without moving it around at all.
At Ray’s suggestion, I had my eyes closed the whole time, and I was pretending that Ray’s dick was Freddy’s dick. And that was pretty easy for me to do, because as fate would have it, Ray’s erect penis just happened to be about the same size around as Freddy’s was, despite the fact that Freddy’s hard-on was longer than Ray’s, by at least an inch or more.
But more importantly, I was also pretending that Ray’s balls were Freddy’s dark-skinned, Mexican-American balls. The same sexy balls that I had curiously felt out and innocently played with in the bathroom that Sunday afternoon, so many years ago. The same sexy balls that had released their sperm up through Freddy’s long urethral tube to fertilize my baby-making hole that day–without me even realizing what was taking place down between my legs. And all of these kinds of thoughts about Freddy’s balls were getting me incredibly excited.
Then I felt Ray’s dick pulsate one time. And I knew exactly what that single strong pulsation meant. I had seen it happen before many times, right in front of my own eyes. So I knew that a little thick glob of Ray’s sperm would soon to be oozing out of his piss-hole slit, directly into my vagina.
Actually, I was pretending that the sperm that was just moments away from oozing out into my vagina was Freddy’s, instead of Ray’s. And that taboo thought quickly took me right over the top, and made me cum hard. I began squirting and gushing all over Ray’s dick and balls.
Within a few seconds, Ray’s dick started pulsating like crazy inside me, and he began orgasming, right along with me. However, there was no passionate kissing, or hugging, or body-groping going on between us–only the pure, raw sexual act of copulation that was taking place down between our legs. It was an incredibly erotic experience!
This experience also helped me to realize that my confession to Ray about Freddy had been the right thing to do. In fact, I felt bad that I hadn’t been honest with Ray much sooner in our relationship. Here I had been worrying all this time that Ray might get mad and break up with me if I told him about Freddy, only to discover that Ray gets really turned-on by the whole “Freddy thing,” just like I do.
Over the course of the next few weeks, every time that Ray and I had sex, either he or I would bring up the subject of “Freddy” at some point during our foreplay. And of course, that would inevitably raise our level of mental sexual excitement, and it only made the sex that much more enjoyable for both of us. So sharing my “dirty little secret” with Ray turned out to be a very good thing indeed.
Looking back on everything, I can honestly say that, without Freddy, I know I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.
For instance, before my experience with Freddy, I used to fantasize about the usual type of stuff that young girls tend to fantasize about. And naturally, that also meant that I experienced rape fantasies from time to time, just like virtually all heterosexual girls and women do, according to everything that I’ve read on the subject.
But after my experience with Freddy, the only types of fantasies that really turned me on were sexual assault/rape fantasies. And so nearly all the various sexual situations that I tended to fantasize about on a regular basis were automatically transformed into fantasies that involved me being sexually molested and then raped. And that’s still the way that things are for me nowadays, when it comes to my sexual fantasies.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a masochist. And I don’t enjoy pain at all. So I don’t ever fantasize about being physically threatened or hurt, or tortured. It’s just that, in my fantasies, I tend to imagine myself being “taken and overwhelmed” (in other words, bullied, intimidated, blackmailed, tricked or verbally threatened) into having sex with some guy or another, while I do nothing but completely cooperate with that guy, as I’m letting him “have his way with me.”
This “guy” in my fantasies might be a total stranger to me, or he might be a celebrity on TV or in the movies, or he could be someone that I know in real life. It just depends on my mood at the time that I’m having the fantasy. However, I have to admit that most of the time, my rape fantasies tend to involve guys that I know in real life. And as you should have already figured out by now, the one guy that I tend to fantasize about the most just happens to be Freddy.
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