Little Steps

I had never kissed before, but I knew from the moment he put his lips on me, this wasn’t exactly how a first kiss was supposed to be. His tongue was in my mouth in no time, and it felt like a dream as our clothes started coming off. It was when I saw his erection for the first time that I started wanting to put on the brakes, but he wasn’t having any of it.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. I cried, but afterward I told him I loved him, and he held me and kissed me more. I guess technically he raped me, but I didn’t fight very hard. I don’t know if I am stupid for not being mad at him, or if I really had wanted it. We snuggled in his bed for a few hours, and when the pain had faded enough, I asked him to try it again.

It still hurt, and I almost asked him to stop as soon as he pushed into me again, but I really wanted to impress him, so I held back the tears, and tried to be as sexy as the girls I had seen in porn. He looked a ton smaller than all the guys in the magazines, but he felt like he was splitting me in half. I got on my hands and knees and let him take me doggy style, and that’s when I started enjoying it. The pain was still there, but now his sack was slapping against my clit, and I came almost immediately. We spent the next year having sex about twice a month.

When I was twelve, my idol went off to high school, and I never heard from him again. Apparently he and his dad had moved, and he hadn’t told me. I was so mad and so heartbroken, I got revenge in the only way I knew how. I found a high school student at the park and fucked him. I didn’t even know his name, just that he was older than my idol, and he ended up being way better in bed.

That was the year I stopped sharing a room with my brother. The only times I really shut him out were when I was changing, or when I had a guy over. I found that as much as I loved sex, my favorite part was having them cum in my mouth. It felt nice having that warm splurt in my pussy, but I honestly love how every guy tasted a little different, and I was a little afraid I would over work my birth control.

Over the next two years, I had sex with about a dozen different guys. Some only once, and some nearly every day for a month. I started doing anal the first time I had a persistent boyfriend and I was on my period. It hurt so bad I swore it would never happen again, until I found out you are supposed to use lube.

My freshman year of high school, gym class taught me that I was bisexual. I was usually the last one out of the shower, cause I waited and had a tiny bit of fun before getting out, but one day another girl waited till we were the last two. She told me she was a lesbian and she thought I was beautiful. She asked me out on a date.

I remembered my idol, and grinned at her and told her that I would if she were a good kisser. I can pretty confidently say, girls are better kissers than boys, hands down. We made out until we heard foot steps coming to check on us. We met up after school and went back to my house. My parents were thrilled I finally had a good female friend. I don’t think they suspected that after the parade of guys I would be interested in women.

She was amazing. She was better with her tongue and her hands than any guy I had ever been with. I loved every second I was with her, and we started officially dating the next day. We were together for over two years, and my reputation as a slut faded away, since I hadn’t banged a guy since I started high school. At least not until the beginning of my junior year.

My girlfriend was busy and wasn’t able to come to one of my soccer games, so I was feeling a bit down. One of the assistant coaches, volunteering while he was on break from college, started hitting on me. We hit it off, and an hour after the game, he had me pressed up against the back of the utility shed and our pants around our ankles. I kind of wish I had just kept it a secret, but I wanted to be honest with my first real commited relationship, so I told my girlfriend that night. She walked out on me without even saying goodbye.

She was a lot nicer about it than I deserved, really. She never gossiped about me, and we even ended up being something close to friend again, but I know I really hurt her. She stopped keeping in touch when we graduated from high school.

So there I was, a junior, seventeen, and I had just been dumped for the first time, by my first girlfriend. I was as heartbroken as when my idol had moved without a word. I spent a lot of time alone in my room, naked and curled around my pillow so I could smell her and pretend she was still there. My brother was really worried about me, and he started playing video games in my room with me, letting me cry, and talking to me without expecting a response.

A few weeks of that did wonders for me, and soon I was playing right along side him. We started hanging out at school again, and we mixed our friend groups a bit. Mostly, his friends started dating my friends, which just left us feeling awkward.

I really should have known better than to walk in to a fourteen year old boy’s room without knocking, just after he went to bed, but I was so used to just coming and going as I pleased that I didn’t think. I caught him right in the middle of stroking himself, and instead of turning around and leaving, I freaked out and ran into the room before closing the door.

I stood there awkwardly while he just gaped at me, hand still wrapped around his dick. Finally, I sighed and shrugged and told him not to worry about it, I do it too. Of course, being my twerpy little brother, he made a joke about me jacking him off, and being the cool older sister that I am, I had to call his bluff.

I guess we just forgot that we were siblings for a while. I gave him a hand job, then a blow job, and then we fucked. Apparently I was his first, but even though he was average sized and lasted an average amount of time, I think I loved having sex with him more than any other guy I had been with. It was completely different, because we really knew and loved each other. There was no degree of separation like there had been with all my previous boyfriends. We gave ourselves to each other without holding anything back.

After a brief freak our the next morning, we decided neither of us wanted it to be a one time thing. A few nights a week, he would come over to my room, or I would come over to his, and we’d spend the night making love that left us breathless and deliriously happy.

Then he got a girlfriend. I guess I knew it would happen eventually. He was a handsome and sweet guy, and I had introduced him to all my friends. It still felt like a serious betrayal. We argued about it until after midnight, then like a switch had been flipped, we were in bed. He hadn’t even kissed his girlfriend yet, and he was already cheating on her with me.

After that, I always felt like I had won. I was still a bit jealous, but I was spending most of my time away in college now and kept myself busy with other guys. I discovered that if you really want to get laid, just go to a frat party and pretend you’re drunk. I think I had more guys in the first three weeks than I had before in my life, and that felt like a pretty big accomplishment.

I found two guys who were okay with an open relationship, and I started meeting guys and girls through them. It was pretty fun, but eventually I needed to start focusing on my classwork and it was usually just once a week at most that I would go out with the two of them. Usually, they would pick up another girl and they would each take turns with me and the other girl, but sometimes they would just take turns with me.

My brother and I kept up our affair and managed to keep it a secret until the beginning of his senior year of high school. I was home on break and we were so excited to see each other that we locked ourselves in his room while our dad was home. He had barely gotten inside of me when we found out exactly how unlocked the door actually was.

I had never been terrified of my dad before. I expected him to yell or even hit us, but instead he just put a hand over his face and leaned against the door frame. He asked us to explain what was going on, and we told him in bits and pieces how it had happened. He walked out of the room, leaving the door wide open, and went straight to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of wine and three glasses and came back to my brother’s room. We drank together, and he explained to us that he didn’t care, and he’d keep it a secret on the condition that I spend some time with him too.

I was beyond shocked, and I told him I wanted some time to think about it. Instead, he unzipped his pants and told us both to have another drink. After a few drinks, my brother and I started fooling around again, and didn’t care that he was watching. Our dad jerked off a bit while my brother fucked me, then he climbed into bed with us.

It should have been a really traumatizing experience, but I barely remember what happened once we all three started going at it. The wine probably didn’t help.

The next day my brother was at school, and my dad came to me sober. He apologized and said he wouldn’t say a word, but I told him it was alright. While we fucked, I told him about some of my sexual experiences in college and he told me that he shares my mom with some of his friends. He says he knows I am his daughter, but there is a chance my brother isn’t, since he started sharing her the year after I was born.

He told me that he and mom had actually met and hit it off over shared fantasies of some of the more taboo sexual kinks, like incest. He never let her have sex with a dog because he was afraid she would catch some sort of disease, and they never did anything with any underage children because they didn’t want to go to prison for the rest of their lives, but he said that once I had started high school, they started dressing up and roll playing as me and my brother.

He asked me if I thought my brother would like to fuck our mother, and I told him I didn’t know, but that I would ask him. I finished my dad in my mouth, and he told me that he wished we had started this years ago when my mouth would have barely fit.