She drove home, her car once again threatened to overheat, in the bumper to bumper traffic, she was really pleased to make it home, the needle of the heat gauge, had risen very close to the red line, when she pulled in to the parking lot. She checked their mailbox, there was an envelope from Canada. She opened it while walking to her door. I was a card. On the front was a cartoon goose holding its wings behind its back, printed on it was ‘I have a surprise for you.’
On opening the card, the same goose had opened its wings wide the card read, ‘ME’
Underneath Melody had written,
‘I really enjoyed meeting you. I look forward
To you coming up for the summer.
Regards
Melody
Shelly was sitting in the sitting room when Arleen opened the door. “Your girlfriend just phoned.” She said.
“My girlfriend? What are you taking about? And why are you answering my phone?” Arleen answered puzzled.
“Since you don’t have an answering machine I picked up, it might have been important. Yeah girlfriend! Some Melody chick who says you spent the weekend with her, when you said you were going up North for an audition, ohhhhhhhhh, serious lesbo action honey. Why didn’t you say you swung that way earlier? We could have played carpet muncher together, when the guys are out of town?” She snickered.
“Fuck off Michelle, it’s not like that!” She retorted, clutching the card to her chest and stormed past her and slammed her bedroom door.
She sat on her bed and fumed, she picked up her phone and dialed, it had barely rung once before Melody picked up.
“Who is Shelly?
“Hi Melody, thank you for the card.” Arleen replied, slightly taken aback by Melody’s tone. “Shelly and I rent this apartment together; we share an expense, that’s all. Not that it’s anyone’s business.”
“Ok, bye!” Melody said, clicking off the phone.
There was a knock on the door. “Arleen? Are you ok? I was joking babe, don’t get all upset, it can’t be that time of the month?”
Arlene threw the phone at the door. “Shut up Shelly, just leave me alone ok?” She begged as tears began to flow, for some unknown reason. She sat on her bed hugging her knees and sobbed softly.
“Jesus girl, what is it?” Shelly asked concerned, “Why the tears hon, come on, tell me whats happening.”
Arleen shook her head, still sobbing. “I dunno, I just dunno.”
Shelly sat next to her and stroked her long dark hair.” Its ok babe, really, I’m sorry I teased you.” She said while stroking Arleen’s head. “I never thought you were a dyke, I mean you and Bradley were together for what, three years? “She said while continuing to soothe her.
“But what if I am?” she sobbed, “I dunno Shell, I just dunno I am so confused right now, just let me sleep, ok?” she asked her friend softly.
“It’s ok with me if you are, nothing can change our friendship, we’ve done some crazy things together babe, don’t let it get to you, if you wanna talk, I’m here for ya, ok? Just know this, happiness doesn’t come a knocking, you have to find it, and then that’s your choice, it doesn’t matter if it’s with a guy or girl, it’s your happiness. Don’t condemn yourself, others will do it for you no matter which way you swing.” Shelly said as put the phone back on its charger next to the bed and closed the door behind her allowing Arleen to lay down fully clothed in the darkened bedroom.
Half an hour later Arleen was still on her back, her eyes red and sore, the phone rang.
“Arleen?”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry, I don’t know why I did that, honest. Are you crying?” Melody whispered.
“It’s ok. ” Arleen sniffled.
“No its not, I’m really sorry, please don’t cry.” Melody pleaded.
“It’s ok, honest, don’t sweat it.” Arleen whispered
Arleen could hear Melody choking up on the other end. “Are you crying?” She asked
“Yeah”
“Sorry”
“Sorry I made you cry. Gonna ring off now, speak to you tomorrow, ok?”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, sure, night-night.”
“Night-night Melody.” As Arleen put down the phone, big sobs burst the silence.
Shelly came back in, hands on her hips . “What the fuck is going on?” she asked.
“I dunno.” Arleen wailed.
“Jesus girl; whatever it is, you’ve got it bad; come tell me whats bugging ya.”
It came bubbling out in half sentences as the tears flowed. The poignant silences the way there should be more when they greeted each other, the wanting to touch and hold, being tongue-tied in Melody’s presence, the changing of the lyrics from him to her. Singing while looking into her beautiful gold-flecked green eyes. How beautiful she was, the strange ache she had now that they were apart. The card and its half subliminal message.
“And she feels the same way?” Shelly asked.
“I dunno.” Arleen wailed.
“Whadda ya mean you don’t know? Then find out dummy!” Shelly said exasperated.
“How?” Arleen wailed again.
“Fuck me girl, what’s her number?” She asked shaking her head.
“You’re not gonna phone her!” Arleen exclaimed in shock.
“Damn right I am! Holy shit girl, I’ve never seen you like this, I heard that you never even batted an eye when Bradley began fucking Angie.” Shelly shot back.
“Please don’t phone her Shell, I’ll be fine, honest.”
“Yeah sure, listen Arleen, if you want her go to her, find out if she feels the same, if not get the hell outta there, come home, and we’ll find ya some cute chick to squeeze, ok?
“I don’t want a cute chick , I want her, just her!” Arleen began to sniffle again.” I just wanna be with her.”
Arleen finally fell asleep, her lips pursed like a baby, as she slept, her body coiled in the fetal position.
The following day went pretty much the same as the previous one. Arleen was not hungry, she pecked at a burger the radio station had had brought in from some burger joint, the art director managed slither his hands briefly over her blouse a couple of times, before, pulling the plug on the production and calling it a day. Her car finally overheated and she had to have it towed, all in all, not a successful day.
She could hear her phone ringing, while she unlocked the front door, she grabbed it.”Melody?” She asked.
“No, It’s Claire, hi Arleen.” Her agent greeted her. “I have good news! I have your work permit, and all your documents, for your stay in Canada. Do you want me to post them to you, or do you want to fetch them, Robbie at KLXJ tells me he’s not happy with your work, and he’s abandoning the project. Pity that could have been a permanent gig for you.”
“Claire, he’s a sleaze, my shirt has an oil slick where he tried to grope my boobs, he can keep his regular gig, I want nothing more to do with KLXJ while he’s there. Yeah, I’ll stop by tomorrow and pick up the documents for Canada. I think I’ll go up a few days early, now that things are over here, in Nashville. Is that ok?” She asked.
“Sure honey, I wont be in the office, I’ll leave them in an envelope for you, at reception, just asks my secretary. Have a good time in Canada; let me know how it’s going, if you have the time.”
Her mind was made up, quickly she dialed, and the phone was answered on the first ring. “Hey, it’s me?”
“Me who?”
“Don’t be a jackass, it’s Arleen.”
“I knew that, I was just testing you.” Came Melody’s lame reply.
“My work permit and visa are ready; do you want me to come up earlier?” Arleen asked.
“Let me ask Thel, care to wait?”
“No! You wait; I can’t do this crap, ok? I don’t understand whats happening here. I don’t do innuendos well. Maybe I’m reading signals that don’t exist, maybe I’ve got it all wrong, I dunno, but you have gotten to me. If I’m making an ass of myself, well I guess you can find yourself a new singer for your club, so, ok, here goes, I’m attracted to you ,ok? But I am not a lesbian; the only woman I ever kissed was my mother. I don’t understand what’s happening, I sense you feel the same way about me, but you never said or did anything to confirm that I’m right or wrong.” Arleen took a deep breath before she continued. “So don’t tell me you need your sister’s approval.”
There was a long silence, before Melody finally said, “Ok.”
“Ok, what?” Arleen stormed.
“I won’t ask Thel’s permission. I’ll meet you at the airport, when’s your flight?”
“Is that it? When’s my flight?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?” Melody asked.
“No Melody, I want more, I need to know, what you want.”
“Ok, you need to know more? It’s like this Arleen, you say you aren’t a lesbian, I am. You want to know what I want. I want you, I did from the first night I met you. You say you aren’t a lesbian, so where do we go? I have fallen in love with you, you say you have feelings for me, but you don’t understand them, well, when you do, let me know. I didn’t mean for this to happen, and I’m sorry, I want you to be in love with me, like I am with you, but its not easy, I understand, it’s a big thing, not just for you, for me, for us, its far more than flying up here to work . I am ringing off now. Call me when you’ve had time to think.”
There was silence, never had Arleen felt so alone, she stared at the phone in her hand. Even though it wasn’t dark outside yet, she crawled under the covers and went to sleep.
It must have been around midnight when Shelly thumped on her door, waking her up. “Hey girl, get some clothes on, I’ve brought home, some company.”
Sleepily, Arleen peeked around Shelly’s shoulders; she had brought home two guys, who were sitting in the living room, drinking beer. Unwillingly, Arleen dragged a brush through her hair, slipped into a pair of faded sweats and gargled some mouthwash, and joined her room mate and the two guys, in the sitting room. She was introduced to Elliot, who was by his own admission an accountant, and Barry, who had paired up with Shelly, and said he was a broker. A ball game was on TV, Shelly spent most of the time, playing barmaid, fetching and carrying. As the evening progressed, Barry began to fondle Shelly, who lay back, allowing herself to be groped. Eventually she and Barry withdrew to her bedroom, leaving Arleen alone, with Elliot, who was in his thirties, slightly overweight and his hair had begun to recede. He leaned across Arleen, letting his hand wander across her chest. They kissed. Arleen allowed Eliot’s hands wander over her body; she felt nothing, there was no arousal at all, just revulsion. She and Shelly had brought home guys many times, they had even done a few kinky ‘sharing the same guy,’ or swapping men after a few hours together, but tonight, all she could think of was a short curly haired, green eyed girl with big breasts in Canada. Feeling Elliot’s hand inside her pants made her mind up. She clamped her thighs tightly shut, startling Elliot, as she pulled his hand from between her legs. She stood hastily, shaking.
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