I’d sipped mine slowly, screwing up my face in displeasure each time. When I finished I sneaked off and found a full, unattended glass and continued. It disgusted me too at first, but I wanted to learn to appreciate the taste like the adults did, talking about the scents and flavours they could make out. After my second glass, it didn’t disgust me quite as much, but I still didn’t like it. So I found a third.
It was just like now, with her devastated expression. The pain in her eyes, and in her voice, brought a bitter feeling with it, as seeing the pain of another human should. But there was a sweetness to it. A deep, satisfying taste that felt almost addictive. There was something about her completely dejected, submissive attitude that moved me, that spoke to some deep-seated desire to see her suffer.
I let the sensation of her sorrow wash over me, savouring it, as I had with the wine that night.
Of course, I felt the effects of the alcohol pretty strongly at the time. The heady rush, the blurry vision, but it had felt good. And the morning after my little wine tasting experiment, I’d felt worse than I could ever remember feeling. My first hangover.
I buried the twinges of shame I was feeling, along with my thoughts of the past, and tried to just enjoy the moment.
But it didn’t last long.
She left quickly, without argument, and without looking back.
==
I woke later than normal the next morning, almost at noon. I got showered and dressed, and wandered downstairs to find Rose and Jessica in the kitchen. I smiled as I remembered how terrified I would have been to try to come in here, only a few weeks ago. Things had really changed fast.
Jessica was sitting on one of the stools beside the counter, and was watching the TV at the other end of the room. We usually watched the TV in here while we ate breakfast. It was a little smaller, but it got all the same channels as the one in the living room.
Rose was looking around in the cupboards. I walked in and took the stool beside Jessica. She looked up and smiled when she noticed me, and my heart jumped in my chest. I internally chastised myself. She shouldn’t be able to affect me this much with just a smile.
“Morning.” I said.
“Hi.” said Jessica.
“Oh, hey.” said Rose distractedly.
Rose seemed to give up her search and stood back with her hands on her hips, thinking.
“I’m going out for groceries.” she said suddenly.
“Oh, is there nothing to eat?” I asked.
“Nope, and we’ve got the house to ourselves today.” she said.
She seemed a little off, for some reason. She was speaking quickly, and impatiently.
“Really, all day?” I asked.
It was unusual for our parents to go anywhere on a Saturday, at least not without letting us know beforehand.
“Yep.” she said distractedly.
I shrugged and turned back to the TV. She was definitely being weird.
“So yeah,” she continued, “I’m going to head out. Might as well take the car and get a big shop done, I’ll probably be gone a few hours.”
“Uh, Ok?” I said. “Do you want us to-”
“No!” she said suddenly, “No, I’m fine on my own. I’ll…I’ll see you guys later.”
She walked quickly out to the hallway to grab her coat, and was gone a second later.
Something was up.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Jessica asked.
I got up to walk to the fridge. Inside I found that, while we weren’t spoiled for choice, there were a few things in here the three of us could eat.
“Ok seriously, why did Rose just run out of here saying she wouldn’t be back for hours?” I asked.
Jessica looked away guiltily.
“Uh…something kind of happened…this morning…” she said slowly.
“What kind of something?” I asked, sitting back down beside her.
“Look,” she said turning to me, her face serious,”This is mostly…it’s your fucking fault, Ok?”
My heart froze in my chest. Rose was acting awkward, and had just left the two of us alone. Did she know something about us?
“Jessica, what happened.” I said.
“I…I kind of…” she stuttered.
“What?” I said.
“I kind of…molested her.” she said, looking away guiltily.
“You…what?” I said.
She took a deep breath.
“Ok, so, last night after I left your room, I was really horny. Like, insanely horny. I had to sit in the bathroom for ten minutes just so I could put clean panties on without soaking through them.” she said quickly.
My heart leapt a little at how quickly and casually she told me this incredibly sexual thing, like it was no big deal. And it was interesting to hear that she’d been keeping fresh clothes in the bathroom. It explained why she could keep coming over in those revealing outfits all the time.
“So I got back into bed with Rose, and it was fine. She was asleep like always, and she’s such a deep sleeper that she never even noticed I was gone. But…I had a dream about…well, I don’t remember. But it was…intense…” she said.
Her voice was beginning to get a little breathier, a little more erotic.
“So…I woke up and…I was kind of…groping her.” she admitted quietly.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I was like, grabbing her boob and…and rubbing myself against her leg…” she said.
“Shit.” I said.
I started laughing.
“Shit, really?” I laughed, “What’d she do?”
“It’s not funny!” she said, but she was fighting a smile. “She woke up a second after I did, and she was like, ‘What are you doing?’ and I just…told her I was having, like, a sexy dream and…”
I was laughing even harder now, and she couldn’t help but join in.
“God, shut up!” she laughed. “It’s your fault, and now she’s being all weird.”
She sat back and covered her face with her hands.
“It’ll be fine.” she continued, after a few seconds, “She’s just avoiding me. It’ll be weird for like a day, and then she’ll get over it.”
I sighed with laughter.
We were silent for a few minutes as we watched TV. I thought about Jessica going back over to Rose’s bed every time we were together. Was it really possible that Rose hadn’t noticed yet? I figured that Jessica would know better than I did, and I trusted her to keep our relationship secret. I really doubted she’d lie to me. Although…maybe it would be better if I specifically told her not to lie to me. Was that necessary?
But there were more important things to think about. Despite my better instincts, I really regretted sending her away last night. We were completely alone in the house, and I wanted to make the best of it.
Neither of us had spoken for maybe 20 minutes, but it didn’t feel awkward. There was a silence, but it wasn’t a heavy one that needed to be filled. It was just comfortable.
I turned to her.
“So…you were turned on this morning?” I asked.
She looked at me, her natural, neutral expression quickly giving way to nervousness. There was a definite shift in the atmosphere. It was like she’d just realised we were alone, and what that usually meant.
“Uh…yeah. I was like, really horny.” she said.
“Are you still?” I asked, standing up.
———
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