“My haven’t you grown up. It’s a shame that the rest of the people in this narrow-minded little town can’t grow up like that. I really wasn’t going to apologize for the decisions your Father and I and your Aunt and Uncle have made. As you say. Those are our decisions to make and I’m glad to hear that you respect that.
“What I wanted to apologize for was keeping it all a secret from you. You shouldn’t have had to find out from your sister at Christmas the way you did.”
I chuckled. “Yeah it did come as a bit of a surprise but I recognize your need for secrecy.” I shook my head. “If the blue nosed characters in this town found out how you and Dad and Uncle Lou and Sherry are living they would probably excommunicate you from the Church and drive 70 miles to Rexburg to buy the things you sell in the store. It would break you. Also in a town like this if you aren’t in the Church you are a nobody. I knew a couple of kids like that in school. They were treated terribly, as if they were invisible.”
“So you’re not mad about our keeping it a secret?”
“Not at all. But tell me, how long have you and Dad been drinking coffee and keeping that a secret. I never had any before I had some in Idaho Falls over Christmas with Dad. I enjoy it, but it’s hard to find in Provo.
“Well that’s not a surprise in Provo,” she responded. “Perhaps your Dad and I should have let you go to Berkeley. I imagine Provo is pretty stiff-necked.”
“No. no. BYU is fine. I can go to Cal for graduate school if I want.” I didn’t want to get into a discussion about what it was that I was enjoying about BYU and Provo (that is Sandra and Lauren).
“The coffee? For years,” she said with a laugh. “That was another one of Sherry’s ideas. While you were still around we used to have coffee up at the Ranch or Lou or Sherry would bring a thermos of fresh coffee down for us. Lot a trouble to go to to hide a coffee habit from your kids.”
“Hmmm. What other ideas did Sherry have?”
“Are you asking about our lifestyle?”
“Yes, but don’t tell me about anything you don’t want to talk about.”
“No. no. I don’t mind telling you at all. After all now that we are no longer keeping secrets you are part of the family. It didn’t all start with Sherry. Your Dad and I had a great sex life for years. But a few years after you and Karen were born our sex life just went flat and we couldn’t figure out why. Neither one of us was getting anything out of our relationship with the other. At least not sexually. We still got along fine, but the pizzazz of the sex was gone and we both missed it. Then your father started a relationship with Christine, his friend in Idaho Falls. They met at a Church function. Dad was pretty active in the Church in those days.”
I laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Just the idea of my zealous Mormon father preaching the Church values while he was having a secret affair with another woman.”
“It happens,” Mom said. “Way more than anyone in the Church wants to admit.”
“I know,” I said, thinking of Sandra and her family.
“But your Dad felt so guilty about it he told me everything. At first I was furious, but eventually I decided that I shouldn’t object. At least one of us was getting laid and enjoying it. That’s what I told him in those exact words. But I told him that if he could cheat like that then I could too. We both agreed, but we knew we had to keep it a secret or the old blue nosed characters in this town would run us out on a rail.”
“The problem was that I didn’t have a lover. I had never been with anyone but your father and I didn’t know where to start. That’s where Sherry came in,” she said with a laugh and a shake of her head. “Sherry and I had been close friends for years just as Lou and your Dad were. Lou knew what was going on but Sherry didn’t. Her first reaction was to be pissed at your Dad for cheating and pissed at Lou for not telling her.
“Once I talked her down off the ceiling and convinced her that your Dad and I were in agreement on having outside lovers she calmed down and then I went on to explain my desire for a lover of my own and how hard that would be in a small town.
“That’s when I learned some things about Sherry I hadn’t known. She told me that before she met Lou she had a lesbian relationship with a roommate in college. She also told me that when she and Lou married they had agreed that she could have women lovers from time to time so long as the relationships were discreet.” Mom paused for a moment and then said, “That was when my sister-in-law propositioned me.”
“And you said yes?” I asked.
“Well not right away. It was more of a seduction. Sherry’s pretty good at seduction.”
“And when did all this occur,” I asked.
She blushed a little. “It was a few years before you left for college. Hiding what we were doing from teen age children is just about as hard as hiding an affair from a spouse.”
She paused for a moment taking a sip of her coffee. “Actually your Aunt Sherry is just about one of the horniest women I’ve ever known. For Sherry the whole world revolves around sex. Whose getting it and who isn’t, and why or why not. Who she’s had it with and how often. And of course all the details of any particular sexual encounter.” Mom shook her head. Before continuing. “Some people obsess about religion, some about politics, and some about sports, but a lot of people’s lives revolve around sex. Sherry is just one of those. We love her, but my god she has a dirty mind. She can get very graphic sometimes.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that new piece of information so I just tried to steer back to the original story line. “And what about Lou?” I asked.
“Well he walked in on us one afternoon and instead of getting mad he just asked if he could join in. Sherry said sure and looked at me. I thought for a minute and said, ‘Yeah I still like men so take off your clothes and get in bed with us.’ He did. That was five years ago and it seems to work fine.”
“And what about Christine?” I asked.
“You mean your father’s lover? She’s like Sherry—a good Mormon on the outside and horny as hell on the inside. Once her husband got himself killed in a car wreck there was no way she was going to get by without sex, so she and your father were made for each other.”
“But does she know about you and Sherry and Lou?”
“Absolutely. Since you went away to college she comes up here for a visit occasionally; when she can get a babysitter for her kids, you know. The first time she and your Dad came up together it pretty much turned into an orgy. I even had sex with your Dad that weekend and enjoyed it. But we agreed later that it was way too late to put that genie back in the bottle, so mostly your Dad and Christine are in Idaho Falls and Lou and Sherry and I are here.” She paused for a moment and chuckled. “It’s kind of odd when we all five go to Church on Sunday morning and are struggling not to be grinning about how much fun we had the night before.”
I sat in silence for a minute or two. Finally I said, “So let me get this straight: You, Dad, Lou, Sherry, and Christine all present yourselves to the world as good law-abiding Mormons who live the Church’s values, but in secret you have orgies involving all five of you?”
“Yup. That’s pretty much it,” said Sherry from behind us. Mom and I hadn’t been paying attention and Sherry had been standing at the door to the kitchen listening to our conversation.
“Well don’t just sit there. Come here and give your slutty Aunt a big hug.”
“Sherry, That’s no way to talk.”
“Oh I thought we were telling the truth to my nephew now.”
“We are, but . . .”
“Well if you are telling the truth you should tell him that what you actually said when you invited Lou to join us in bed was ‘Yeah I still like dick so take you clothes off and get in bed with us’.”
“Sherry,” Mom exclaimed in outrage.
“It’s true Nephew. That’s what you horny Mother said to my husband when he caught the two of us in bed.”
“Yeah but Sherry . . . That doesn’t mean you have to tell my son the graphic details.” Mom looked embarrassed but it was essentially an admission. I chuckled. So both my parents are not what they seem, I thought
I had risen from my chair and Sherry took three or four long steps across the kitchen and wrapped me up in a hug that smashed her big boobs against my chest. That was another surprise. We hadn’t really been much into hugs when I was growing up. Before she was done I felt her hand lightly graze my ass.
Once she released me she took a step back looking at me from head to toe. “My god you’ve grown.” Turning to my Mother she said, “Look what a stud your son has become. I can’t believe it.”
“Sit back down and let me refill the coffees and then we can talk. I want to hear about all those BYU dollies you have been balling.”
Holly shit, I thought. What happened to my Aunt Sherry?
Sherry walked around the table refilling our coffee cups, brushing her boobs against my shoulder and Mom’s as she leaned over us. Mom just shook her head at that, as if to say, “I told you.”
Once we were all seated Sherry leaned forward showing me a good deal of cleavage compliments of a blouse that had somehow opened a button or two since she came in. “So has your mother shared all the graphic details of how I seduced her and turned her into a slut like me?”
“Sherry!” my mother squawked in outrage. “You know I wouldn’t tell my son things like that.”
“Well you did tell him I seduced you didn’t you?”
“Yeah. I guess I did,” my mother responded uncomfortably.
“And about our orgies with Christine?”
“Yeah that too,” my Mother responded, her face down.
Sherry turned to me and said, “She wasn’t very hard to seduce; and the orgies. My god she just jumped right in like an orgy with her relatives was nothing new to her . . .”
My Mother groaned and then said, “Enough Sherry.”
Sherry ignored my Mother and kept talking to me, “Well, she was hard up. I spose you already heard about how she hadn’t been getting any from your Dad for way too long and now he was getting laid by that slut down in Idaho Falls that he lives with now.”
“Sherry! That’s no way to talk. Christine’s very nice,” my Mother said.
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