Back to School

“HE DID WHAT?!”

“You heard me, Mr Smith,” she replied. “YOUR SON stabbed a student with a compass.”

“What do you mean a compass?” I wasn’t sure if I heard her correctly. “You mean that pointy thingee with the sharp end!?”

“Yes, Mr Smith,” Ms Dagger puffed. “It is that pointy thingee with the VERY sharp end.”

“WHAT THE F…!!!” I was shocked anyone in his right mind could do such a thing, let alone that someone was my own SON!!! “Why the hell would he do such a thing?!” I blurted.

“How the hell should I know what goes on in your son’s adolescent mind.” Ms Dagger exasperated.

“As the school principal, shouldn’t you be aware of what goes on with kids in your charge?” I tried to direct some of the blame away from my son. Ms Dagger was responsible for hundreds of kids in that middle school. If I let her take some of the heat, then maybe my son could get out of the hole he dug himself into.

“As the father, shouldn’t you take more responsibility for your son’s actions?” She replied with a scathing question. “Now you understand why I asked you to come to my office today, Mr Smith.”

“It’s very hard to raise a twelve year old when you are a single parent now a days.” I tried to lower the temperature down appealing to her understanding when it comes to raising kids.

“I’m a single parent myself,” she concurred. “I know what you are going through, Mr Smith. Unfortunately that does not absolve you from the responsibility for your son’s behavior.”

“I hope no one was hurt?” Trying to change the subject.

“No. Fortunately no one was hurt,” she replied. “Your son did say he poked his friend with the other blunt side and not the sharp pointy end.” Ms Dagger explained.

“Well, that explains that,” I almost declared victory. “I knew my son would not actually stab anyone with that pointy thingee…?!?!” I slumped back on the chair in absolute relief.

“That’s not the pointy… I mean point… Mr Smith,” Principle Dagger was starting to get angry. “Your son did try to stab a girl with a compass!!! Whether it was the pointy thingee or not is not the point here.”

That was the fourth time I had been to principle Dagger’s office this school year. All previous times involved minor offenses which my stupid son had blatantly committed. He was lucky to get away with minor reprimands and a few days of grounding, which didn’t really help since he was grounded most of the time anyways. However this felt way more serious.

“But you said he used the blunt side,” I was on the offensive now. “It was probably a harmless joke.”

“NO, Mr Smith. That was not a harmless joke,” the principle snapped. “It was a terrible joke.”

“Of course it was,” I had to concur. “He was probably trying to get that girl’s attention, or maybe he was trying to fend her off. Some of those gals can become very clingy, if you know what I mean.” I added a chuckle to a bad joke to lighten up the situation. Unfortunately that did not work out well.

“I know exactly what you mean, Mr Smith,” principle Dagger angrily threw that back in my face. “That clingy gal happens to be my daughter.”

“Shit.. yes.. well, sorry about that.” Too late to retract that. “I didn’t mean that.”

“I bet you didn’t.”

“Well, if you don’t want your daughter to cling to my son then why don’t you do something about it.” I had to defend what was left of my son’s honor. “You are the principal of this school, are you not?” The battle was already drawn so I might as well defend the fort.

“Of course I am,” she squealed back at me. I almost had her on the offensive. “I’ve been trying to cling apart those two since school began,” Ms Dagger sadly tried to explain. “Unfortunately all my efforts had been in vain.”

“I’m sorry that did not work out for you.”

“I bet you are.”

“Look, I do apologize if my son is causing you some distress. He’s just a kid. I’ll ask him to cling away from your daughter if that is what you want me to do.”

“Nooo.. that is not what I want you to do, Mr Smith” she almost shouted out at me.

“Then why did you ask me to come over here?” By then I was the one who was getting frustrated. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“I want you to take responsibility for your son’s behavior Mr Smith,” she replied. “That is what I want you to do.”

“You mean you want my son to take responsibility for his behavior,” I tried to correct. “I hope you are not planning on suspending him for being infatuated with your clingy daughter.”

“Ooo….you’re unbelievable …You’re even worse than your son,” Ms Dagger stood up from behind her desk, removed her glasses, bent closer, and stared straight into my face. “I guess the apple does not fall very far from the tree,” she said. I could almost feel her breath on my cheeks. That was the first time I realize she had beautiful ocean blue eyes, nice plum lips… I didn’t know school principals wore make up… was that lipstick? Ms Dagger was fairly young for a principal of a public school. She must have had very good credentials to be appointed in such a position. On the beauty side, her credentials where not bad either. As a matter of fact those credentials where very visible underneath a tight white blouse and a black skirt that hugged her credentials very well…. Damn those credentials …

“Okay, okay, I get it … so what are you planning to do with my apple… I mean my son?”

Ms Dagger stepped back and crossed her hands on her chest. I could swear I saw a smirk on the edge of her mouth. I didn’t realize those glasses could hide so much facial expressions. “Oh… I’m not going to do anything to your apple. I am more concerned with the tree.”

“Tree?! What tree?” I gulped.

“As I told you earlier, Mr Smith, as the parent you should be the one responsible for your child’s actions. At this point punishing the apple would not make a difference. As a matter of fact I like your apple. I don’t have a problem with your apple. You have a good apple.”

“What?….I don’t understand.” I gulped again.

“Oh, I think you do, Mr Smith.” She replied. “Now tell me, Mr Tree. Have you ever been punished? And I mean really really punished in the strictest sense of the word?”

I tried to gulp for the third time, only that did not go down as I hoped. It lingered in my throat for hell knows how long. “…You’re joking right?” I barely managed to reply.

“Oh, no, Mr Smith,” Principle Dagger confirmed. “I don’t joke in such matters.”

“What kind of matters are we talking about here?” I was afraid to ask. “It’s not like you can suspend me or anything like that.” I followed that with a snicker that sounded like a snort, a symptom of a very dry throat.

“Unfortunately we will have to leave the suspending for another day.” That smirk crawled all over her face. “Besides, I don’t have time for that now. We will have to content with something a little less corporal.”

“What do you mean by corporal?”

“I think you know exactly what I mean, Mr Smith.” She didn’t have to explain more than that. I knew exactly what corporal meant, only I did not believe what I was hearing. When she brought out that red paddle from her desk and laid it flat in front of me, my suspicions were all but confirmed.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Of course I’m fucking serious, Mr Smith. I’m very very fucking serious.”

At that point I was already in a very fucking serious shit. If I report this incident to the education board she would deny everything that was said in this room. Who would believe me anyways. As I said, she was a good principle and from what I have heard she was also a brilliant educator. Unfortunately my son had been in her office more times than I can remember. I didn’t have a fucking chance. If I escalate this any further or I walk away from this, my son would probably get detention, heck he might even get expelled from school. I was fucked either way. I did not have a choice. This was a very well thought out plan on her part, an utterly brilliant form of pure adulterous blackmail. Oh… she was good….

“How long have you been planning this?” I had to know. This could not have been a coincidence. She must have been planning this for a while. Who the fuck hides a paddle in their office?! This bitch has serious issues.

“Ever since my peach clung to your apple,” she replied.

“Really?! That long?” Now I was afraid. “Do you do this with all parents whom your child has clung to theirs? You have serious issues with clinging, Lady.”

“Oh no. No,” she categorically denied. “Only with those who don’t get the hint.”

“What hint? I didn’t get any hint…” I confess she was way over my pay grade. I needed more explicit insinuations for me to get any kind of hint.

“If you did on your first visit to this office we would not have resorted to this. Well, maybe we would, but still, we would be doing it in a much less formal setting.”

“Oh… wait…what? Oh….now I get it… So all those visits to your office were for…!” I finally got the fucking hint. Now I understood why my apple stabbed her peach. If she is as beautiful and as devious as her mother is then he doesn’t have a chance.

“Now stop fidgeting and let us get this over with. I have another meeting in an hour,” she ordered.

“Okay. Okay What do you want me to do?”

“Take down your pants and lie facing down on my desk.”

“Seriously?!”

“Stop arguing with me Mr Smith and do as you’re told.” So I did. As if I had a choice.

“Your undies as well.”

“MY WHAT?!….Come on…Seriously? Here?!”

“You’re arguing with me again, Mr Smith.” How could I not argue when it came to that? As I said, I had no choice. When the underpants went down I felt cold and exposed in the literal sense of the word. “I think we will start with five, then we will see…” I was half naked, and sprawled on her desk. What was there to SEE more than THAT?

From the corner of my eyes I tried to follow Ms Dagger, as well as that red paddle in her hand, as they strolled behind me. I clung to the edge of the desk and prepared for the worse.

The worse wasn’t so bad. The first landed smack on my right asscheek, almost a soft caress that barely registered on my skin, or I hoped it didn’t. “I could take those,” I said to myself. “I had no problem with those… Bitch!”