We sat down and she held my hand, looking into my eyes and simply said “if you want to talk we can, but I’m more interested in helping you forget about it for a while and give you a distraction” I agreed that would be for the best and she passed me a coffee she had already bought. Conversations with Ellie were so easy, we found ourself laughing at each other’s terrible jokes, bitching about current affairs and passers-by. That anxiety I’d had on the phone earlier was nowhere to be seen, the new me, the cam girl side of me, was in charge again, happy, outgoing and confident.
As Ellie slipped to the toilet I checked my phone and wondered about the message she sent earlier. Was it a bit coincidental that she sent that not long after I posted online? And asking me if I was ok, like there would be something wrong? I didn’t have time to think about it anymore as she returned and our conversation continued where she left off.
Just like the last time we ended up sitting very closely, shoulders pressed next to each other as we kept our voices down gossiping about the people walking by on the street. Ridiculing the chin mask wearers, and playing mask or beard where unsurprisingly the aim of the game was to spot guys in the distance and bet to see if they were wearing a mask or if it was a beard. Our closeness wasn’t lost on me, and I couldn’t help but take her in, she smelt so nice, her laugh was infectious and she just had such a great aura about her.
Our coffees were long finished, and it was now well past lunchtime and Ellie suggested that the pubs would now be open. Being such a nice day we decided to find one with a beer garden so would could continue our people watching and in the traditional British fashion of drinking our problems away.
We found the perfect pub, some seats on a table outside with the high-street there for our continued entertainment. Ellie insisted we at least celebrate something with a bottle of bubbly, if it wasn’t going to be the new job, then it would be the side hustle, and if not that then just the fact we were able to drink in a pub again was enough of a reason.
With glasses clinked we sat, drank and chatted and before long the bottle was finished and we were feeling incredibly tipsy. Arm in arm we shuffled our way to the toilet which was a completely new experience for me, the café only had one so going as a pair would be a novelty. We took adjacent stalls and carried on chatting as we both went about our business, me not forgetting to sit rather than stand. I gigged at the ridiculousness of my situation, and Ellie asked me why I was laughing. I just said that it was nice to be out again, and that the bubbles had really gone to my head.
We finished up and I carefully tucked myself back in and stepped out. She was waiting for me with a sly grin on her face, so I naturally asked her what was up. She jumped a little as if I had caught her daydreaming before she pointed at my waist and commented that my nickers were showing “as cute as they are, you might attract the wrong kind of attention flashing a G-string out on the street” I flushed red and she burst out laughing.
“you’re so damn adorable when you blush” which did nothing for my rosy cheeks. Staggering outside we both noted that we should probably walk it off a little. However we didn’t get far before she literally dragged me into a wine bar which was just opening up. Despite the sun outside it was dimly lit within, little booths and a long bar with hundreds of bottles and an amazing array of spirits.
All bars and pubs required table service as per the current restrictions, so we found ourselves a spot and the waitress came over to take our order. I suggested something light, but Ellie was having none of it and asked about the cocktails. After a lot of back and forth we settled on some espresso martinis, I could tell my new drinking buddy was probably a bit of a party girl, but it was so refreshing to just be out and enjoying it.
We did at least take our time drinking, but in our little booth, the conversation was much more intimate and a little flirty, there were no passers-by to mock. Naturally we ending up talking about guys which I managed to somewhat defer from my complete lack of experience or interest in reality. I could only reference Marc and our encounters in the park, which I was of course quizzed on extensively.
I tried to press her on what type of guy she likes and she shied away from giving a proper answer. For the first time today she looked a bit bashful, maybe even reserved. Sensing I might be pushing into unwelcome territory I backed off a bit, the mood became a little tense, she took a breath and said that she doesn’t really have a type. Looking blankly at her I asked what that meant, she must like something surely.
“I guess id describe myself as pansexual” she burst out reluctantly, but visibly relieving herself of whatever burden she felt that label had. It was a term I had heard about but didn’t really understand and she read my pause as me not understanding “it means I can find anyone my type, guy, girl and anything in between”. “Oh” I simply replied, our conversation now at a very awkward silence as I lifted the glass downing what was left in an attempt to buy time in order to think of what to say next.
Thankfully the waitress stepped up to the table to ask if we wanted any other drinks, as I placed mine back on the table. “Yes! I think we should have some shots” Ellie blurted out, but I had to agree it would help loosen the vibe that had descended on the table. A couple of tequilas and a long cocktail to sip afterwards were ordered and the waitress walked back to the bar.
“So is she your type then?” I asked, finally thinking of something to say, “Ha, not really, I mean she is pretty enough, but she seems a bit plain, I like people who have a bit more going on, you know, something different and special, what about you?” I froze, not knowing what to say. Of course I’d had relationships with girls, that’s all id done in the past, the thing with Marc wasn’t anything really, but I was presenting as a girl and still felt the need to keep it up, even though her admission meant me being a guy in girls’ clothes might not be as undesirable as I thought.
Feeling the pressure of giving an answer I just said “I don’t know”. It was a stupid reply, and she immediately berated me for it. “I guess, what I mean is that I’ve never given it that much thought before, and I’ve never really met someone who doesn’t have a type, it isn’t a fair comparison, you’ve got it easy” I laughed out.
I bluffed the next few minutes praying for the waitress to return with the drinks so I could be saved from having to explain myself. And sure enough she arrived, placing them on the table along with a lime slice and some salt. Ellie cheered and set up the drinks. Salt on our left hand, shot glass in the right, we linked arms, licked the salt, slammed the tequila and then grimaced through the slice of lime.
Our faces were next to each other as our linked arms pulled close to get the slice in, our watering eyes met as the fiery liquid burned all the way down to the pit of my stomach. Parting we both gasped as the rush of shot ran through us. “Wow, that was intense, I’ve not done that in ages” I exclaimed, feeling decidedly drunk even though it was yet to hit.
It did however save me from having to delve too deep into my sexual preferences as the conversation shifted to partying and going out once the clubs were open again. I’d never been a fan in my old life, but I couldn’t think of a valid reason why the new me wouldn’t enjoy it, especially if I had someone like Ellie for company.
The alcohol now catching up with both of us, our speech beginning to slur a little and our touching and flirting becoming ever more clumsy, we posed for selfies, cheeks pressed to each other, duck pouts in full effect. There was a real sense of sexual chemistry between us and I was captivated, trying so hard to control myself and contain my desire to kiss her and drag her back to my place.
I couldn’t do that, while she might be ok with dating someone like me, I wasn’t even sure I what I was, was I still a guy, was I hetro, gay, trans. I didn’t know and sure as hell wasn’t going to figure it out while this intoxicated. The barman called last orders and both me an Ellie looked at each other admitting that it was definitely home time.
We stumbled out onto the night street, both far more drunk than we thought we were, walking back towards the café and where we would go our separate directions. We exchanged how much fun tonight had been and that we should definitely do it again sometime. She checked to see if I was ok and I thanked her for her support in helping decide what to do.
There was a real tension in the air and we moved in for a parting hug, we almost collied head on, pulling back and looking at each other, there was a pause, a monumental desire rose from within me to kiss her but I chickened out and rearranged the hug. I held her tight already regretting not taking the now missed opportunity. Embarrassed we parted and I stepped back, she looked flushed, or was it just drunk?
I blew her a kiss as I had done Marc so many times, she smiled in reply and waved as she turned. I would have floated back home if it wasn’t for the fact that I was really quite inebriated. Ever grateful that my drunken autopilot guided me home and I fumbled the keys multiple times to open the door.
Staggering into my apartment I took out my phone and read some messages from Ellie who had presumably arrived at her home before me. They were garbled and full of autocorrect mistakes, in my state I could barely make sense, but I typed what I thought was a gushing thank you for her taking me out, and accusing her of getting me too drunk.
I threw my phone on the bed, and then saw my toys sitting on the nightstand. Fuck I was horny, the flirting with Ellie and not having played with myself all day suddenly took over, I was aware of how full and aching my balls were, my cock was swelling in my tight fitting jeans and I had to get them off as soon as possible.
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