Memoirs of a 90s Girl Ch. 02

Memoirs of a 90s Girl Ch. 02: Calvin and Jon

I met Calvin and Jon, in that order, on a Thursday. It was a beautiful and warm summer day. The slight breeze rapidly cooled the sheen of sweat on my skin and had the wisps of hair tickling my forehead. I didn’t have to be at work for another four hours, so I leaned back and surveyed my group of friends as they cajoled each other into fits of laughter. We were a motley crew, a hodgepodge of teens who communed over our disdain for society, our discontent with “the man”, and our discomfort with ourselves.

Our little corner of the world was called Fountain Park. Its namesake was no more than six feet in diameter and sat in disrepair, having been turned off by the city ages ago. Now it seemed rooted there under duress. We used the rim as a bench and threw our bags, jackets, shoes, skateboards and whatever else we didn’t want to carry on our person into the empty basin. As far as we could tell, no water had flowed through the fountain within our short lifetime. The park, if one could still call it that, was a trapezoidal patch of concrete between two high rises and the epitome of 1970s Brutalism architecture, all harsh lines and sharp angles. Fountain Park had a series of cement benches with planters on either end and various odd geometric shapes that were clearly meant to be decorative at the time they were installed. The concrete square planters no longer had flowers and were well in their second lives as ashtrays, the dirt surface strewn with discarded cigarette butts and miscellaneous trash. On one end of the park were cement stairs, probably intended as decoration or a performance area of some kind by an optimistic architect. The sharp edges of the park’s features perfectly matched the scowls we gave passers-by who, much to our amusement, would flinch and clutch their belongings tighter as they approached on the pavement.

I sat on my usual spot on the basin rim, laughing along as my friends chased each other round. Adam had something sticky in his hand that he was attempting to throw at Kate. Missy huddled with another girl who I recognized but didn’t know, sharing a hand-rolled cigarette. Malcolm had his head leaned back and eyes closed while Evelyn braided his hair into cornrows. A few more groups of kids sat around on the cement benches, some with headphones on, some sharing snacks, some with their bodies sunken into the basin, back leaned against the fountain center and legs dangling over the rim just basking in the summer breeze. A small circle of boys was engrossed in a raucous game of hacky-sack while another group was strumming on guitars.

Fountain Park was our happy place where everyone belonged and had a place in our chosen family. We all attended different schools and probably came from different backgrounds, but we wouldn’t have known. The only clue to our lives outside the park were the buses on which we arrived and on which we departed. And even then, one could only guess the rest of the details. No one knew each other’s last names, or real names for that matter. Even those who attended the same school could assume different personae all together here and their classmates allowed it. Everyone knew Fountain Park was a neutral, cease-fire zone. One girl introduced herself as Tulip and that was just what everyone called her. I later learned Tulip’s real name was Amy when we found ourselves in the same science class, but never spoke of our time at Fountain Park. New arrivals were quickly integrated into the fold, acculturated into our community, usually being a friend of someone already there. Even the timid ones were immediately included in our conversations, offered a cigarette, passed a bottle or a joint, or goaded into a game of some kind.

Just as Kate squealed in mock horror at Adam, I noticed a group of three boys approaching the park from the street, having just gotten off the northbound E bus. Southsiders, I thought to myself. The two taller boys in the back shoved each other playfully while the boy in front — their leader? — strode on without a glance back. I had seen him before but had never spoken to him. I had been curious about him because he was oddly familiar, down to the way his sandy brown hair draped over one of his eyes, speckled with streaks of sun kissed blonde. His walk also triggered some memories I couldn’t place. I felt his presence immediately from where I sat, which was surprising since he was barely taller than me and was slight of frame. His arms swung easily along his side as he crossed the street with purpose, only taking a cursory look for traffic, eyes scanning the park as if searching for something or someone. His eyes swept past me, returned, then stopped. He brushed his bangs aside and smirked at me with an upward nod. I quickly looked away and tried to laugh along with the scene in front of me, but it was useless. He adjusted his trajectory and was now heading my way as if he knew me.

I tried to ignore the shrinking distance between us, putting on what I hoped was an air of nonchalance.

“Hey.” I started at the casual greeting from the complete stranger.

“Hey,” I replied, slowly turning to face him. Realizing that he was much too close, I scooted back to create a gap between our bodies.

“I’ve seen you here before,” he observed casually and sat himself down right next to me, our arms touching. His voice even seemed familiar. Where do I know him from?

“Yeah. I’ve seen you around too, but I don’t think we go to the same school,” I replied in what I hoped to be an unaffected way before scooting away from him again while keeping my eyes forward, still not daring to meet this gaze. His confidence and arrogance unnerved me. But my thumping heart told me that I found it exciting too. Who was this boy?

He chuckled and slid towards me so that our arms were touching again. I had no reply to that, so I stayed silent. “I’m Calvin,” he added and then motioned with his chin to the two taller boys who were play fighting nearby. “Those two idiots are Jon and Mikie.” He reached up to gently play with my ponytail, causing me to jump at such a familiar gesture.

“Easy there. You nervous or something?” I could hear the smile and chuckle in his voice. “I’m not scary, I promise.”

“Whatever….” I replied flatly, dragging my voice until it trailed off. I didn’t know where this so-called conversation was going, much less how or why it started at all.

“How old are you?” he asked pointedly, all the while tracing the tip of his fingers along the exposed skin along the straps of my top. I tried not to react to the light casual touches, but I jumped at every brush of his surprisingly soft fingertips and was helpless to hide how my skin pebbled in the wake of this touch. The sun suddenly felt very warm against my bare skin. I worried my teeth against my lower lip in fear that Calvin would notice how my body was reacting to him.

“Why,” I asked, turning to him. My eyes immediately went to where his fingers were now stroking my arm, up to where his tongue was wetting his lips, then to his eyes that crinkled in smug amusement. This close, I could see the golden specks in the hazel rings around his dark pupils. I could tell he was daring me to stop what he was doing. I didn’t.

“I like you,” he said nonchalantly. “How old are you?”

“What difference does it make? What about you?” I shot back, trying to control the shake in my voice.

“Yeah, ok. I guess it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, before asking another question.

“You’re Amy, right?”

“Yeah, Ami with an I, it’s short for Amethyst,” My answer shot out of me before I could stop it. The regret was instantaneous. Who gives a complete stranger their real name, especially a stranger who thought it normal to casually stroke another stranger’s arm? I should have lied, but I was so used to having to explain my name that I didn’t think and it was too late now.

I could have sworn there was a moment of recognition, but that was impossible. I had never spoken to him before, even if he did seem familiar somehow. “So you go to same school as Adam and them,” he motioned his chin towards Adam and Kate, still chasing each other. Had no time passed at all since Calvin came to sit with me? It felt like ages since we locked eyes from across the street.

“Yeah. What about you?”

Calvin shrugged, motioning one hand vaguely at the park, and replied noncommittally, “I’m around.” Then he pivoted to fully face me so that he was now straddling the lip of the fountain basin, legs spread wide with one foot inside and one foot outside. I continued to look forward, intent on ignoring his intent gaze, despite feeling it dragging down my body all the same. I straightened my back and pretended that warmth was not spreading across my skin.

“Around?” I wondered out loud, more to myself than as a question for him.

“Yeah. I’m around and I will definitely see you around, Ami with an I,” he concluded. Calvin then pivoted my chin towards him with his index finger. I had no time to react before his lips landed on mine and he was kissing me. I quivered under his searing kiss which was deepening. I couldn’t convince myself to stop him and half-heartedly tried to pull away but was met with one hand that cradled my neck to hold me in place while the other hand grasped my upper arm. A small whimper that escaped when he lightly thumbed at my nipple emboldened Calvin to pull me closer between his legs. It was so sudden and heated that my brain had not caught up to what my body was experiencing.

His hand dug into my hair at the base of my neck and his fist tightened, stilling my squirming. The hand on my arm moved up to slip underneath the strap of my top promisingly. His warm wet tongue swept over mine and a sigh escaped me. My body warred with itself, not sure whether to fight off the stranger or lean further into his touch. Somewhere in the background noise of my brain, I heard Calvin growled against my lips. Within minutes I had gone from not knowing this boy to melting in his arms. What was he doing to me? The scariest part was that I didn’t want him to stop. And even if I did, I wouldn’t know how. I was helpless to fight against the fire sweeping over me.