“I . . .” Simon tried to speak but couldn’t. So many emotions ran across Jodi’s face, Simon barely caught them all.
Jodi wanted him to deny what had happened. She almost would have believed him if there were any way, but the truth was all over Roxanne. She brushed past him roughly. She couldn’t stand there any longer. It smelled too much like sweat and sex. Too much like him.
“Jodi wait.” Simon walked out after her. She got into her car. She glanced one last time at Simon before backing out of the driveway. Simon watched her drive away.
Simon didn’t know if it was possible to feel lower than he did right now. It was his fault, he knew. He knew from the beginning what Roxanne wanted, even if deluded himself. He laughed bitterly at that thought. Cindy had said just that. Simon walked back to the house and gathered his things.
“You don’t have to go.” Roxanne spoke from the kitchen doorway. “I’m sorry for the way things. . .”
“Don’t.” Simon interrupted, raising his hand to forestall any further argument. “Just don’t.”
“Just because she . . .” Roxanne began.
“Please just stop, ok? You got what you wanted.” Simon said.
“How do you know what I wanted?” Roxanne sneered.
“You got to me first. Before she did.” Roxanne expected anger from him but only saw sadness and shame in his face. For the first time, in a long time, she actually felt a little regret for her actions. “But you’re not completely at fault here. I could have said no, I could have stayed home. I could have stopped you.”
“You still don’t have to go.” Roxanne walked over to him, placing her hands on his chest. “She’s already gone, so there’s no reason to leave.”
“I . . . just can’t.” Simon moved towards the door. “I can’t explain why, but I have to go. Staying would only make things worse. Please let Freddie know I’ve left.” Simon put on his jacket and walked out.
*****
It had been a long walk home for Simon. Three hours after leaving Roxanne’s, he trudged thru the side door that led to his bedroom. He removed his shoes and threw his jacket onto his clothes basket. He sat on his bed, dejectedly. He stared off into the distance for several minutes. He was drawn from his melancholy by his mother’s voice.
“Are you ok, honey?” her voice heavy with concern, Mary came down the stairs into her son’s room.
“What are you doing up?” Simon asked. Usually his mother had to get up early for work so finding her awake at this time was rare.
“I got a phone call from Freddie about two hours ago, wondering if you had made it home yet. I thought you were with him. He then told me that you just took off.” She crossed the room and sat next to him on the bed. “He didn’t know exactly what caused you to leave. I was a little concerned since you had your cell phone off.”
“Sorry.” Simon had enough sense to look sheepish as he flipped open his phone and turned it back on.
“Now that my concern for your absence has been abated, maybe you could tell me what caused you to take off on such an excursion in the first place.” Mary smiled.
Simon had always been impressed with his mom. She had picked herself up after her husband left her. It hadn’t been easy, by any means, but she had always been there for him no matter what. It was why he sacrificed his previous school years to work. It was the least he could do to help the woman who took care of him.
“It’s kinda personal, mom.” He said, trying to deflect her inquiry.
“What? Did you have sex with someone other than Jodi?” she asked.
“What!? No! No. . . well not really.” He became very self-conscious right then.
“C’mon, Simon. I’m a grown woman.” Mary smiled at her son, “I understand more of what’s going on in this house than you might think. Spill it.”
Simon paused for a second or two and then proceeded to vomit forth the entire incident, from the conversation with Roxanne at lunch to the walk home. He left out some of the more intimate details. He really didn’t want to tell his mom about cumming all over Roxanne’s face and chest. He paced around the room while venting. Mary listened intently, only interjecting for clarification on a few points.
“. . . and so here I am, sitting in my room, talking to my mom about my love life, such as it is, and wondering what the hell I was thinking.” Simon collapsed back onto the chair by his desk, his eyes closed, exhausted by his tirade. He waited patiently for his mom to rip into him, telling him what a fool he was.
When the expected verbal abuse failed to arrive, he opened his eyes. His mother was leaning back on his bed, propped up on her elbows, her legs crossed at her bare ankles. It had a very nice effect of thrusting her ample bosom up. His thoughts turned briefly to what an idiot his father was for leaving such a beautiful woman.
From a purely objective point of view, Simon thought his mother was gorgeous. Her blonde hair was cropped at her shoulders. He could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra under her t-shirt, but there was little if any sag to her breasts. She was working out a little more so some of the weight she had accumulated right after the divorce was slowly disappearing. Her legs, which Simon had to admit were probably her best feature, stretched out from her waist, well toned and shapely.
She had been barely twenty years old when she gave birth to him and still had many years to go before her beauty would fade, if it ever did. He only wished she could find someone who would treat her like she deserved. She hadn’t been on even a single date since the divorce. He didn’t want her to be alone. Her chest seemed to thrust out a little farther. He glanced back up to see her watching him, a smirk on her face. Simon blushed and turned away.
Mary giggled to herself. It felt good to be ogled by a man, especially a younger man, even if it was her son. She had been thinking over all that Simon had told her when she noticed him actually checking her out. If it had been anyone other than him, she would have been so embarrassed.
After her husband left, Mary had felt fat and ugly. She figured that was what drove him away. She admitted that she had let herself go somewhat after Cindy was born, but didn’t think it was that bad. She had lost it after he left. Two months of doing nothing but sleep, work, and crying. She heard it called a fugue state, where the conscious mind shuts down but the body continues going through the motions. She had very little memory of that time.
When she finally pulled herself together, she expected the house to be in shambles. Much to her surprise, it was in better condition than ever. Her little boy had quickly grown up to take charge of the house and his sister, doing everything possible to accommodate his mother. He became a dependable, stabilizing force in her life, the eye in the storm of her new life.
“Well I’m sure you know you’ve made a mess of this whole situation, right?” she asked.
Simon nodded mutely.
“Now, if I were in Jodi’s shoes, I would feel very hurt and confused.” She sat up. “You’ve mentioned your mutual attraction to each other. You defended her from her ex. She’s probably setting you up against higher standards than most guys, expecting more from you and of you. So finding you in an extremely compromising position with Roxanne has shattered that view.”
Simon sat forward, his face in his hands, with his elbows propped on his knees. He really didn’t want to hear this.
“At least you weren’t fucking. That would have been worse.” Mary walked over to her son and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her; his eyes glittered with unshed tears. “Give it some time. If your connection to each other is more than physical, you’ll get another chance.”
Simon’s shoulders slumped. “I hope you’re right, mom. I really care about her, I just wasn’t thinking straight.”
“I can tell. She’d be a fool not to give you a second shot.” She patted his bald head. “But then I’m a little biased.”
Simon stood up and, impulsively, embraced his mother. Surprised, Mary stood frozen for a second before returning the hug. “Thanks Ma. I needed this.” He said.
“Anytime honey. I’m always here for you.” She went back upstairs. Simon readied himself for bed. He decided that he would do everything he could to gain Jodi’s trust back.
*****
Everything turned out to be nothing much at all. Every time he saw Jodi, she would turn and walk the other way, fuming. Her face wasn’t always masked in anger. There were a few times, when she didn’t know he was around, he saw her sadness. He wanted so badly to comfort her, to make it all go away.
It didn’t help that rumors were flying around the school that he and Roxanne had gotten together. As all rumors do, it started out that they were dating, although Simon and Roxanne never mingled in public. He was ignoring her just as much as Jodi ignored him. Soon it turned into full blown sex. The most ambitious of the rumors had him banging both Jodi and Roxanne at once. The thought did appeal to him, both girls being gorgeous, but he denied it just as fervently as all the others.
His efforts were not completely in vain. About a week after the incident at Roxanne’s, he was able to confront Jodi outside her home. He had left school early on this day, knowing her parents would not yet be home, and sat on her front steps. He stood as she pulled into her driveway. Thinking to bar her entry to the house, he walked in front of her car as the garage door opened.
Leave a Reply