The other realization that came out of the relationship with Trish was that I become extremely aroused at the thought of my woman being with another lover. I’m sure I’d feel differently if my woman was sneaking around behind my back. As long as I’m not being sexually ignored and my woman includes me to watch or listen to her tell me how naughty she was with another man, I think could really get into that…. good to know for future reference.
Trish was the first woman I had dated in 33 years. She loved sex of any kind, including anal… a first for me. As I said, she was great at giving head and loved eating cum. For some reason, I assumed this was a common trait with all women (except for my ex). I couldn’t have been more wrong. The next few women I dated were pretty much the opposite. After 2-3 dates with each woman, we would inevitably approach the subject of sex. After many disappointing false start relationships I began to realize that Trish was the exception rather than the rule.
Over the next year, I learned that almost all women love having their pussy licked and clit sucked, but when it comes to them giving oral to a man, they are at best, neutral about the subject and have to be coaxed. Even then, they just want it to be used as foreplay and not a fulfilling sexual experience for the man. Statistics show that most marriages fail because of sexual problems, so I have reasoned that most divorced women on the dating market are there because they have sexual hang-ups. Women who love sex and give great head don’t usually get divorced (Trish being the exception) because they have happy healthy marriages. Consequently, the dating market is saturated with the type of women like my ex-wife. This seems to be especially true with more mature women. Had I learned this before finding Trish, I may have tried a little harder to make that relationship work.
I dated for another year with one disappointment after another. The pickings were pretty slim for the type of women I was looking for. Needless to say, I was getting very discouraged about the possibility of finding a woman that was compatible with me, both inside and outside the bedroom. In retrospect, I have to laugh at some of the responses I got when asking my date about oral sex. Some typical responses were, “I don’t do that”, “you want me to what?”, “You are all sick bastards”, “it’s ok once in a while, but I don’t swallow”. Of course, all of those answers end up being on the final date with that woman.
I eventually got better at filtering out the incompatible candidates based on key words and phrases in their profile. When I began focusing more on the content of their profile data rather than looks, it opened up some possibilities I had overlooked before. One such woman was Bonnie. I had passed her over several times based on her looks, but kept coming back to her because of the high percentage of compatibility in other areas. Her appearance in the profile pictures was average; no makeup or lipstick, plain clothes, and straight short hair. I wasn’t able to ascertain much about her body from the pictures. From what little I could see, It looked like she had large breasts, and she appeared to be a little on the plump side. One red flag that bothered me was that she had been on the dating site for 3 years, so I was skeptical about our chances. Surely, there must be something more than her looks preventing her from entering into a lasting relationship. I wasn’t getting anywhere with the other candidates, and Bonnie was a local gal, so I decided to contact her.
I sent her a message and was surprised that she responded back the same day. After a few back and forth messages on the web site, we decided to exchange e-mail addresses. We e-mailed each other every day at first, then twice a day for about 2 weeks. Things seemed to be going great as we got comfortable with each other in the virtual world. We had a lot of common interests and I was getting anxious to explore the sexual side of her, but decided to wait until after we met, lest I scare her away. I learned that she lost her husband to an accident 4 years ago. She has a 13 year old daughter and two 16 year old twin sons who are in 11th grade at the local high school.
Bonnie had a few short relationships but they never lasted past a couple dates. I was beginning to get the picture. There must be some sexual issues. Although I was skeptical about our chances, I was really starting to like Bonnie, so I decided to stick it out and find out what her deal was. As is customary on a first date when meeting through the Internet, we picked a neutral location to meet and have dinner, and both drove separately. I guess the dating gods figure that way it’s easier for either party to back out of the date if things start going south.
I arrived at the restaurant first and waited inside with the customary rose, thinking I’d have no problem recognizing her from her pictures on her dating profile. When she walked in I wasn’t sure it was her, as she didn’t look like the photos I was remembering. It was her that first recognized me with, “Oh, is that for me?” All I could stammer out was, “Bonnie?” She took the rose, smiled and quickly stretched her head towards me for an introductory kiss. I obliged her by meeting her halfway and we locked lips. Wow! That took me by surprise; I didn’t expect her to be that direct. It wasn’t just a peck either; It lasted a couple seconds. The kiss was amazing. I felt some chemistry right away. As we pulled apart, I opened my eyes and looked at her. Bonnie’s eyes were still closed.
With a contented smile, she opened her eyes slowly and we made eye contact, “Mmmm, that was nice. I’m sorry Matt but I just couldn’t wait… I had to know if there is chemistry between us, one kiss is all it takes for me to feel it.” I leaned in and whispered in her ear, “I felt it too. I think we’re off to a good start. Let’s get to our table.” I took her hand and we walked to our table, “Bonnie, that was a nice ice breaker. Thank you for that.”
We sat and began conversing, which seemed so natural; not strained or awkward. I think the initial kiss is what really helped break the tension. I highly recommend that approach to you women. It might be too creepy if the man tried to do it though. One thing that puzzled me somewhat was her appearance… in a good way. Meeting someone in person after seeing ***********ive photos can be quite disappointing. Bonnie looked much better than her photos. She was a little stocky, but not really fat; more solid and toned. Even though she wore a loose fitting top, I could tell her breasts were huge. Her blouse hung loose, tenting down over her breasts so I couldn’t really tell how big her midsection was, nor did I care for that matter. Her skin color and complexion was beautiful; her hair thick and full; and her lips were absolutely gorgeous. I thought to myself, how can this possibly be the same person in the dating site photographs? Maybe she happens to be a person that does not photograph well. In any event, I was pleasantly surprised with her appearance.
I had previously learned that bringing up sex on the first date was a no-no, so we just talked more about family and things we had in common. I began to become fascinated with her mouth as she talked. She had full beautiful lips that mesmerized me taking on different shapes as she was pushing her words out and reacting to mine. Watching those lips, listening to her talk with her sexy tone, the inflections of her voice, her facial expressions, her laugh, the hand touches on my arm at just the right moments to emphasize her point…. all these attributes drew me in instantly. None of this was visible from the photographs. I mentally scolded myself for previously passing up this remarkable lady.
She confided in me that a big reason for her relationship failures was because of her kids. Men in her age group are not interested in getting involved with a woman who has three teenage kids. The few men that didn’t have a problem with the kids, had other incompatibilities that couldn’t be worked out. There it was again… it must be something sexual, I thought. I had to know, but not tonight.
Having been through many relationship failures, I could tell Bonnie was holding back, as was I. We were both a little reluctant to completely open up, but still had great conversation… enough to know that we are very compatible and definitely wanted to take it to the next step. By the end of the night, we felt like old friends. We talked, we laughed, and we touched (nothing sexual). There was definitely strong chemistry. When we finished eating, I walked her to her car and opened her door. She hesitated for a moment as if she was searching for words and then looked at me straight in my eyes and said, “Matt, I had a great time tonight and I really like you. I sense that you feel the same way. I’ve been disappointed so many times…”. Her voice started to tremble, “If we are to take this any further, I need to know with absolute certainty that you are OK being in a relationship with a woman who has kids. They mean the world to me and they are my first priority”.
I honestly didn’t have a problem with it at all and I told her, “Bonnie, you are right, I do feel the same way, and I am so looking forward to meeting your kids. I do not have any issues in that regard whatsoever”. It wasn’t a line; I was totally honest with her. She then put her arms around my neck as a signal that she wanted to kiss. I brought her in close and we shared the most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced. Unlike our first kiss earlier, our mouths opened, our tongues met, I sucked and nibbled on those amazing lips. We kissed for a long time. I couldn’t help but get aroused. I leaned forward a little more to keep our bodies from touching so she wouldn’t feel my growing erection. We broke our embrace and made plans for our next date. I invited her to come to my house the following week to make her dinner. My motive was to have some private time with her to bring up the issue of sex to see if indeed, we were truly compatible. That was the end of the first date with Bonnie. I was overjoyed with how well it went.
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