That first week at school is kind of a blur. I had to get used to classes in a multitude of buildings, figure out where and when I was going to study, try to get to know my roommate and others on our floor… typical college orientation stuff. I tried to challenge myself to venture out of my comfort zone and be more socially involved. College was a blank slate after high school, and I wanted to make the most of it.
At the end of the first week, I felt like I was beginning to settle in. Justin and I were really hitting it off. I got the sense he was kind of a class clown, but he seemed to sincerely want to get to know me. He had his eyes trained closely on the women on our floor. He told me his high school girlfriend had dumped him over the summer and he was “taking applications for her replacement”. I had to laugh at that. I had homework under control, and knew my daily routine. I even figured out when I could get some workouts in at the rec center. It felt good to lift and swim or run. I didn’t want my fitness to suffer after years of being in good shape.
On Thursday, I came back to the dorm after a long run, in dire need of a shower. I grabbed my bath kit and a towel, and headed to the bathroom in shorts and flip flops. When I was done, I went back to our room where Justin was watching sports news on his tablet. I had almost started to strip down when I realized that to change clothes, I would either have to awkwardly try to hide myself, or that he was going to see my privates. I stood there in a brief moment of panic and uncertainty, and then decided I couldn’t go through the entire school year this way. I mean, we were going to be living together in a twelve by fourteen foot room. There wasn’t going to be a whole lot of privacy. I steeled myself, took a deep breath, and tried to nonchalantly drop my shorts while at the same time digging in my drawer for a new pair of boxers.
At exactly that moment, Justin looked up and asked, “So how are we going to survive as roommates when we are fans of different NFL…” His voice trailed off, and I saw that his eyes had gone wide, and he was staring at my groin.
“Wow man. Sorry. Um. Just. Shit. Sorry!” he mumbled. “I’ll bet you’re a hit with ladies, am I right?” he said, trying to cover his nervousness with a fake laugh.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I wish. I’ve never really dated. Too much to do on the farm. So no real free time.”
“Well. It’s a target-rich environment here. I think you will make some girl very happy.”
“Really? More likely to scare them off I think.”
“Are you kidding? Dude, assets of that size get a healthy return on investment. Or so I’ve been told,” he said with a silly smile. “Can you tell I’m pre-Business?”
I chuckled quietly as I quickly pulled my boxers on. “Hey, don’t tell anyone about my, you know, stuff, okay? Kids in high school made fun of me, and I’d rather not repeat that experience.”
“Kyle, your secret is safe with me. Trust me. But seriously man, it IS an asset. I’ll freely admit, I’m jealous.”
Truth be told, that admission stunned me. For almost a year, I had considered myself to be an oddity. Now a guy my age was jealous of the size of my penis? Still, I couldn’t quite accept the fact that maybe I wasn’t a freak.
When Friday came, our RA announced several social activities for the weekend that were designed to be icebreakers. Trying to get as many people on the dorm floor to know as many of their dorm mates as possible. One that caught my eye that seemed to be low risk was a movie screening on Saturday night, in the common room at the end of the hall. The common room was set up with a nice big screen TV with surround sound, some really comfortable chairs and couches and a small kitchenette where you could prepare popcorn and snacks. They were going to show Shakespeare in Love, which I had never heard of. I figured it was some sort of historical non-fiction, but Justin told me it was more of a comedic drama with a super cast.
“It’s a great choice because girls like it too. It should be a good event. Besides, I wouldn’t mind getting to know some of the women on the floor. They’ve been kind of traveling in packs this week. I’d like to talk to some of them one on one.” He was obviously all in, so I decided to go as well.
Saturday night came and Justin wanted to get to the common room early. “We want to get good seats, and also have a chance to socialize. All that I’m going to get is shushed if I try to talk to a girl during the movie.” I agreed that was logical, so we made our way down the hall a half hour before the movie was supposed to start.
Entering the common room, I saw that Justin had been right. There were a handful of guys there, but the group was about seventy percent women. There were a number of small groups standing and talking, primarily sorted by gender.
“Let’s get a couple of sodas and get in there,” Justin said. The RA had several ice buckets with sodas and mineral water on the counter. We each dug through and made a selection, and then Justin put his hand in the middle of my back and pushed me toward a group of three girls that were standing by the window. “C’mon Kyle,” he urged. “Time to meet some ladies!”
Reluctantly, I walked with him up to the girls. Justin had met one of them before, but I had not met any of them, so there were introductions all around. Justin was a natural extrovert, and completely at ease. He asked all sorts of questions that drove the conversation. What high school did you go to? Have you decided on a major? Who is roommates with who? That kind of stuff. I stood there mostly silent, or answered questions in the least amount of words possible. I’m sure I didn’t make a sparkling first impression with any of them.
One of the girls though, Cassandra (“I go by Cassie”), really caught my eye. She was cute in a pixie sort of way. She couldn’t have been more than five foot two or three, with light brown hair that curled in ringlets down to her shoulders. She had a little button nose, and dimples when she smiled. What really struck me though, were her green eyes. Mesmerizing is the only word I can think of to describe them. Or intense maybe. She had a mischievous grin, a great laugh, and a kind, easy air about her. My mind was racing to try to come up with a good question for her, but my thoughts were interrupted by the RA announcing that he was going to start the movie.
Everyone moved to sit down. Most of the couches were claimed by three or four girls. Justin managed to finagle a spot on a couch with two of the girls we had been talking to. There were two armchairs next to that couch. Cassie plopped down in the one closest to Justin and her friends, and I quickly got myself seated in the next armchair over.
“Hey Kyle, why don’t you make a popcorn run for everyone?” Justin asked with a grin. There was no way he was going to risk losing his place on the couch, and I couldn’t really blame him.
“Sure. Okay,” I kind of stammered. “Everyone want some?” All the girls nodded, so I went to the kitchenette and filled five small bags of popcorn from a big bowl on the counter, and then hurried back to deliver them before someone stole my seat. When I handed a bag to Cassie, she smiled up at me with those dimples and green eyes.
“Thanks Kyle,” she said. Her fingers made contact with mine as she took the bag. I almost melted on the spot. All I could do was nod and then sit down. I was relieved as the lights dimmed, allowing me to get my wits about me in the darkness.
The movie really was pretty good. Initially just pretty comical, but about a third of the way through, the love story sub-plot was introduced. There is a bedroom scene where Gwyneth Paltrow’s character loses her virginity to Shakespeare. It’s not hard core or anything, but her breasts are displayed and her nipples are quite erect.
I hadn’t masturbated for a couple of weeks, primarily because I had been busy packing at home. Then, when I got to the dorm, there just hadn’t been an opportunity with Justin around. So my hormones were up. Watching the sex on screen, I was getting pretty aroused, and my penis was soon “up” too. Bound by my underwear and my shorts, it was starting to get uncomfortable. Without really thinking, I reached down to adjust my pants to give my swelling penis some space. I heard a little giggle from Cassie’s direction and looked over to her with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Sure enough, she was watching my hands on my crotch with one eyebrow raised and a wry smile on her face.
I was mortified. I turned away from her and looked straight ahead. I quickly put both hands on the arms of the chair and gripped them until my fingernails were white. I’m sure I was blushing a deep shade of red. What an idiot. How could I forget there were other people in the room? I couldn’t stay there next to her. I was too embarrassed. I stood quickly and hurried quietly out of the common room, and left the dorm to clear my head.
I managed to avoid Cassie for several days. It was inevitable that I would bump into her, since we lived on the same floor, but I wanted as much time to pass as possible before that happened. Turns out, she had other ideas. She cornered me Wednesday night. I was sitting alone in the dorm cafeteria and out of nowhere she sat down in the chair across from me and dropped her back pack on the floor.
“You’re a hard guy to find,” she said. “I kinda think you might be avoiding me.”
“Um. No, not really,” I mumbled as I tried to avoid her gaze.
“Not really? So that’s a yes.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Look, Kyle. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable somehow Saturday night. I shouldn’t have laughed. I’m sure Gwyneth would be flattered.”
“Can we not talk about this, please?” I said, forcing myself to make eye contact. I could feel myself starting to blush.
“It’s natural you know, nothing to be ashamed of. And it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve seen a guy get hard,” she said.
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