Family Secrets

She flopped down onto the cushion next to me and opened the top one. It was a college catalog for the state campus nearby.

“Look, they have a listing for recommended off campus housing. This place has two bedroom units. There’s a shuttle that goes right by there, too.”

“Cool. I wanted to go here but I can’t handle living in the dorms, especially if even half the shit they say about living in them is true. Were you thinking about going here?” I realized I had absolutely no clue at all about what her plans were after high school. I never asked.

“Well, yeah. I’m going wherever you’re going. I don’t want to be off somewhere by myself.” She seemed surprised I would even ask that.

“Okay. I’ve got a stupid question, though.” I felt bad for asking but I really didn’t know, “What are you going to major in?”

“Education with a minor in English literature. I want to teach.” I was glad that she didn’t decide to make fun of me first before answering the question. I’ve lived with this girl for all of our lives and I didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up. “They have a really good program geared toward helping you get state certified after graduation.”

She was now leaning against me, almost literally in my lap now. I noticed that she smelled nice. “You still sticking with Computer Science?”

“Yeah. I like coding. I think I can make that work.” I knew I wouldn’t be good enough for Microsoft or Google but I could get and hold a job somewhere.

“Of course you can. Mom and Dad said they could help with the rent, too, as long as we paid at least half of it ourselves. It shouldn’t be too hard if we save enough before next school year.” She was definitely enthusiastic about this. I was, too. If I had to live with somebody, I’d rather it be my sister than somebody I didn’t know and probably wouldn’t like. Most of the people I knew were the exact opposite, going on about living the whole college experience, meeting new people, yadda, yadda, yadda. I could do without that, thank you.

Next book in my lap was an apartment guide. Judging by the rents and square footage of two bedroom apartments, we were going to have to have enough money saved to cover about $500 a month for our share of the rent for a place big enough to give us some space.

Speaking of space, I wasn’t getting much at this point. Weirdly, I didn’t mind. She wasn’t being pushy, there was just a lot of constant contact. Like her leg rubbing against mine while she talked, touching my hand with hers as she would point something out, or bumping against me when I would say something dumb.

She also had a couple of school catalogs from other schools but she tossed those aside, stating “We’ve already decided where we’re going, so we don’t need these.”

I took the catalog we were keeping and the apartment guide, and set them on the coffee table in front of us. As I sat back, she leaned across me and grabbed the remote for TV. Settling in against me, she surfed until she found some sappy movie that was just starting.

I was starting to get up and she let all of her weight sink into my side. “No, watch TV with me, Mitchell. It’s been a long time since we’ve done this.”

To be honest, I hadn’t been all that enthused about watching Lifetime or Hallmark or whatever it was. On the other hand, I really didn’t want to go do laundry either. TV won. I could do laundry later.

“Well, since it’s this or laundry, I chose,” pausing for effect, aiming for dramatic and achieving comedic, “Helltime TV.”

She appeared totally engrossed in the opening credits as she spoke, “I already did your laundry, anyways.”

What. The. Fuck. “Uh, thanks?” It finally occurred to me that I had been set up, somehow.

“Shut up, I want to watch TV.” She grabbed my arm and draped it over her shoulders so she could lean into me more comfortably. Grabbing a throw pillow, she stuck it between her head and my ribs. That’s how we sat for the next two hours, until I had to take a leak. I brought back her bag of cookies from the kitchen and a couple of sodas while she found the next romantic abomination to inflict on me. She insisted I sit right back where I had been sitting before when I got back. She was right, it had been a long time. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until today.

At some point during the second movie, we fell asleep. We were still in the same position when our parents came home from work. Mom was trying hard not to smile when she woke us up for dinner. During dinner, Tammy talked non-stop about where we were going to school, how we were going to work out the finances, and the apartment candidates we found. I think Dad felt sorry for me because I couldn’t get a word in.

It took a few days for me to notice that I wasn’t getting as upset about things as I normally would. I didn’t think too much about it, though. I was starting to get more hours at work, one guy quit and it was iffy if the other guy would show up on any given day. He soon got fired and I was working 40 hours a week at that point.

Tammy wasn’t goofing off, either. She would pull extra shifts, especially if the person offered to pay well. Sometimes, she would just flat out trade, usually so she could have the same days off as I had. Took me a while to catch on to that, too.

One weekend in the middle of August, I ended up with a weekend off. The Thursday before, Tammy suggested we drive up to the college and spend the weekend wandering around the campus and the town, just to familiarize ourselves. I wasn’t sure about using the entire weekend for it but she did point out that it’s a two and half hour drive there and back. Five hours on the road in one day doesn’t leave much time for sightseeing. I reluctantly agreed.

We found a decent motel and made a reservation for the weekend. Tammy insisted on a room with double beds, since it would be cheaper than getting two separate rooms. I wasn’t comfortable with that but I couldn’t find fault with her logic, either.

We left early Saturday morning, stopping at her favorite coffee place on our way out of town. On the ride up, we talked about our work schedules, coworkers, things we were planning on doing later, normal brother-sister conversational stuff. We arrived in town at about 10:30. It seemed like a nice enough place as we drove through. They had all of the usual stores and restaurant chains. The campus was quiet, since it was Saturday. We drove around until we found some visitor’s parking spots and parked.

As we were wandering around, Tammy’s hand somehow found its way into mine. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to that. She just kept looking around and talking like it was nothing. I also made no attempt to let go, either. We had been getting along really well lately. I wanted to keep it that way.

Campus security eventually found us wandering around. We explained that we were applying next year and we had just come up to see the school in its natural state, not the orientation tour version. He wished us a nice visit and pointed out a couple of places we might want to check out if we had the time. Tammy never let go of my hand the entire time.

“You know, he thought we were a couple.” She seems really amused by that. I could see it, though. We don’t really look alike. I laughed about it along with her.

We finally got tired of wandering around and drove to the motel to check in. The clerk found it amusing that we were getting a room with double beds, though. Tammy just stared at him, stone faced. As we were leaving the office to move the car in front of the room, I asked her “You don’t find that funny, that he thought we were a couple, too?”

“It was funny, I just didn’t want you to get pissed off because he was being a dick about it.”

“Oh, okay.” I thought he was being a dick, too, but it didn’t bother me enough to get pissed off about it. It had been a good day so far and I wasn’t going to ruin it over some dumb shit.

Tammy called our parents to let them know what room we were in and fill them in on our school tour. I hauled our overnight bags out of the car while she did that. I really didn’t think about it, I just dropped her bag on the bed closest to the bathroom and I took the one nearest the door. While she freshened up, we decided where we wanted to go eat. She changed into a nice blouse and flat sandals from her t-shirt and walking shoes she wore during the tour. She touched up her light make up and added some dangly earrings. I was still wearing the polo shirt and jeans. I apologized for not having anything nicer but she was adamant I looked just fine as is.

The restaurant we chose wasn’t far from the motel, so we walked instead of driving. It was a nice evening and I really liked walking anyway. All the hours at the store, on my feet all day, had started to tone me a little bit, I had lost some of the pudginess I had developed from inactivity.

Once again, as we walked, Tammy’s hand found its way into mine. This time, our fingers intertwined. I swear I caught her looking at me out of the corner of her eye as we walked a few times. She definitely caught me doing it. I guess it should have bothered me on some level, but it didn’t. She looked really cute and I really was enjoying myself.

We were seated as soon as we walked into the restaurant. It was clean, the food was good and it wasn’t very expensive. We decided that this was definitely a go to place when we came up here for school. We sat side by side in the booth. Our waitress obviously thought we were a cute couple. Tammy pointed out later that the entire time she play-flirted with us. I was oblivious to it. That seemed to make her happy for some reason.