“Because you were still young,” Lily answered, shrugging. “I had to wait for the right time Simon’s been a little scared you’d react the wrong way, but you won’t, right? Come on, Steph, let’s do each other. Then we can call my brother and…”
Stephanie pushed her away and hopped up from the bed, rearranging her bra to cover her chest. She was really angry now. She wanted to be a happy slut, yes, but at this pace… Lily’s expectations… her uncertainties… she did not know how she was supposed to feel. Denial, shock, so many other things were screaming inside her. She pointed at the bedroom door. “Get out! Get away from me!”
Lily gasped and stared at her. “Steph, I… You…”
Stephanie smacked the wall for emphasis, not wanting to strike her friend. “Leave! Leave!” She stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind her, ran back to the gym. There, she took up position at a heavy bag, slamming her fists into it again and again.
Eileen and Francis gave her confused looks. “Did something happen?” her father asked, stopping the treadmill.
“Simon cheated on me!” Stephanie shouted, hoping she would not have to provide more details. “Didn’t tell me!” Would the reminder of open communication standards for polyamory her parents had always taught her be enough?
Apparently, it was. Eileen and Francis stopped their exercise and watched her striking the bag, not saying anything. Lily walked into the room, fully dressed now, as Stephanie kept up her punches. “I, uh, can I call you later?” she asked.
“Go!” Stephanie raged, not looking at Lily. “I’ll call you!”
Lily nodded, then left the house without another word.
Thankfully, Stephanie’s parents did not question her further at the moment. I might tell them more about what happened, Stephanie thought, but I’m glad they’re not pushing me. I’ll wait and get my anger out, tell them what I must while I make up my mind what to do. There’s one person whose advice I need, the wisest person I know. She’ll be back home soon. Hopefully I will have most of my negative feelings out by then.
***
Three Days Later.
That weekend, Stephanie’s thirteen months older sister Lisa, her only emotionally close sibling, came back from college for a brief visit between semesters. UT-Austin had started its classes at the same time as Rice, but Lisa made time to see her family before high school started the following week. Lisa was studying psychotherapy and was glad to practice it on Stephanie, who told her everything that had happened with Lily once they were alone in her room.
“She’s called me twice and left messages of apology,” Stephanie finished her summary. “I still haven’t called her back. I did call Simon- he confirmed everything, said he wanted Lily to tell me about them first, made some other excuses. We’re… we’re on a break right now.”
Lisa Coleman, a curvy redhead with dark blue eyes, adjusted her reading glasses and penciled words on her notepad. She thought about a response, then spoke. “Shit, Steph,” she then said, using an exaggerated Deep South accent to cover her stammer. “I… I’m shocked.”
“So am I,” Stephanie agreed. “It’s not the incest, that’s not a big deal, whatever, long as they’re consenting adults. It’s that they took so long to tell me. And then they pushed so much on me so fast!”
Lisa grimaced. She didn’t want to invalidate Stephanie’s feelings, but… Everyone has good reasons for acting as they did in this situation, she reminded herself, if I’m assessing it right. I have only heard Stephanie’s side, but given what I know of Simon and Lily… I hope I’m correct. And that I can help my sister straighten things out with them.
“Have Mom and Dad talked to you more about things?” she asked. “Or Aunt Darcy?”
“Some.” Stephanie shrugged. “I only gave them the briefest details. I said Lily told me Simon was cheating on me with someone, that we’re on a break now. I left out exactly who he was cheating on me with. They might suspect, but they haven’t said for sure.”
Thank goodness our parents are respectful forgiving people, Lisa thought. Also good that they recognize us as both adults and people who need to make and learn from mistakes in order to grow. And that we’re capable of the latter act of course. They’ve always let us keep our own counsel too. And they live on the second floor of this house same as Aunt Darcy and our little brother, so they probably won’t be disturbing us any time soon.
She scrawled a few more notes, organizing her thoughts, then looked at Stephanie. “I’m going to be my usual sounding board here. Have you calmed down from this? Thought about what you want to do?”
Stephanie nodded. “Once I got my shock out through exercise, I did calm down, yes. But I don’t know what to do yet. Option one, I never speak to Simon or Lily again. I don’t want that, they’ve been my friends my entire life.”
“My friends too,” Lisa reminded her. “And hostility towards them is impractical, especially for you and Lily. What happens when school starts? You’re each other’s biggest study buddies, ride the same bus, same home room…”
“And we’ve both played on the softball team since fourth grade,” Stephanie added. “I want to be on the team again this year. She probably does too. Shit, now Lily and I have to make up!”
“Right.” Good they have a non-sexual reason to bond again, Lisa thought. “As for Simon, do you want to date any other boys?”
“I don’t know, maybe?” Stephanie shrugged. “Simon started dating me as my safe boy after you broke up with him. No other boys wanted to risk approaching me once they heard I was committed to him. He’s been so nice. But since we’re not at the same school now and we broke up, maybe… I can find reason to turn down most of them. Not many redshirts in the class besides me and Lily. I can string them along until they get old enough, or reject them easily if they’re jerks. Mom taught us to do that.”
Lisa nodded back. “And put us through martial arts classes too, just in case.” Lisa had higher rank than Stephanie in Joy Voyevoda Close Quarters Combat and the other techniques they practiced, but Stephanie was her most frequent sparring opponent growing up, so Lisa had no doubts of her fighting skills. Stephanie had other skills Lisa lacked also- Lisa could operate computers but not program them, while Stephanie could do both. But I’m better at time and emotional management, Lisa thought. Not that it matters, we’re not the kind of sisters who have to constantly outperform each other.
“Yeah.” Stephanie shrugged, considering. “Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I can attract the boys but still keep them at bay. It’s convenient to tell them Simon already took my virginity.”
“If you want to lie to them,” Lisa pointed out. “But let’s table that for now. Option two, you make friends with Lily again but keep it platonic. Or make friends with her but not Simon.”
“I can’t do that,” Stephanie said after a moment of thought. “Simon is still living at home and commuting to Rice. I might see him if I go over there. I have good memories of kissing him, I want to do more. And after kissing Lily like we did… how it made me feel… I want to do more with her too. I just… I want to do things at my pace, not anyone else’s. They’re not going to stop fucking each other, either. I know that. And it doesn’t make me squick, not now. It’s just… I was surprised, that’s all.”
“Understandable,” Lisa judged. “So maybe you want to make up with Lily and have sex with her? Possibly Simon also?
“I… Yes.” Stephanie grimaced, settling her body on Lisa’s couch. “Maybe I shouldn’t have thrown her out like that. Do you think she hates me now?”
“Knowing Lily, probably not. You surprised her, like she did you. That’s it.” Lisa looked over her notes, then nodded. “My advice- make up with her, but don’t jump into sex with her for a few more weeks. She should be patient enough for that. As a learning experience at least.”
“You think so?” Stephanie frowned, then shrugged. “Maybe I should have sex with someone else first. I’ve never climaxed, never even masturbated to completion. Maybe…”
“Whoa,” Lisa cut in. Stephanie had not mentioned this, and she was obviously not lying. Is my sister a fucking idiot? Lisa wondered. Maybe. Of course, I can’t call her out on it outright.
“You should masturbate,” she said instead. “You really haven’t?”
“No!” Stephanie shook her head. “I was too young for sex before I turned eighteen, so I didn’t have it. With anyone.”
“And now you want to have it,” Lisa pointed out. Stephanie nodded in confirmation, so she kept speaking. “But how can you know how to help others please you if you don’t know what to do yourself? Stephanie, if you don’t respect your own needs… if you don’t even know them…” Lisa threw up her hands. “How can you expect anyone else to just know them? Even your friends?”
“I… I don’t know.” Stephanie shrugged. “I guess I just hoped they would know what to do and I’d like it. But I didn’t have a practical plan. I just…”
“You hoped and dreamed.” Lisa rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t work alone, Steph. You need to work to achieve your dreams. Otherwise…” She shook her head again, grabbed her purse, and reached inside, took out the Companion vibrator she always carried. “Here. Use this. It’s easy. Just stick it between your legs, turn it on, and keep it in your cunt until you come. You’ll know it when it happens. You can keep that. I know where to get another. I just changed the battery yesterday.”
Stephanie frowned, awkwardly taking the vibrator. “I… I don’t know. What if I need to do more than just…”
“You might want to touch and squeeze your thighs or breasts too,” Lisa told her. “And think about someone who turns you on. Simon, Lily, some hot celebrity… I like to think about Johnny Depp, Patrick Swayze, Kurt Russell… Winona Ryder, Halle Berry, or Ally Sheedy if I’m in the mood for a girl. Yes, they’re straight, far as I know, but I can imagine otherwise, right? You can too. Just remember the differences between reality and imagination.”
Stephanie blinked, staring at Lisa. “What about Tess? You ever think about Tess?” Tess Winfield was Lisa’s best friend her last two years of high school, a fellow cheerleader and infrequent sleepover guest at their house. Lisa had made out with her several times during their slumber parties. Steph had joined in their kissing games a few times. And Stephanie had always thought when she went back to her own room at night, left them alone in Lisa’s room, that Lisa and Tess had…
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