“I wish you luck.” Eileen shook her head, patting Lisa on the shoulder. “Both of you. When you go back in there, remind Stephanie I will need help with dinner soon.” She walked past Lisa towards the stairs.
Lisa released several breaths. As usual, her mother didn’t confirm that she was spying on her children, but she didn’t deny it either. Lisa hoped she could be confident her mother would not do anything crazy. She was not a passive-aggressive person, right? No, her mother had never shown any sign of that. And she had challenged Lisa but supported her also. That was good. Stop thinking about it, she decided. Relax.
She tapped on the door of her room. “Stephanie? You okay in there?”
“Yes!” Stephanie called out. “Come in if you want! We can…”
“No!” Lisa cut her off. Just because Mom might ignore our incest doesn’t mean I want to bang my sister, she thought frantically, at least not yet. I did diagnose myself as a nymphomaniac, after all, and vow to manage my condition as best I can. If I can achieve high quality sex on my own terms and accept myself as a positive slut, encourage others to do the same, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, right?
“Not yet,” she assured Stephanie through the door. “After Christmas, after I get with Tess, I’ll get with you then. Okay?”
“You promise?” Stephanie asked.
“I…” Lisa’s heart was rapid again. Part of her still thought the idea was wrong, but… if she and Stephanie both enjoyed it… she wanted to do it, no matter what society thought. “Yes. If you still want me at Christmas, I promise I will be with you.”
“Thank you! Hopefully, I’ll have made up with Lily by then!”
“I hope so too. Mom wants help fixing dinner. Come upstairs soon, okay?” Lisa released a sigh, then walked in the same direction her mother had gone.
Inside the bedroom, Stephanie relaxed, having heard Lisa’s entire conversation with Eileen. She was feeling content now, a warm afterglow suffusing her. Hope, resolve, and calm- knowledge that everything would now proceed on her own terms. She hoped she was on the right path.
I will deal with the necessities of my life, she decided. But I will keep experiencing the pleasure I just had and more, whenever I can. She put her fingers between her pussy’s lips, then raised them to her mouth and licked them, smiling at the taste of her orgasmic fluids. The vibrator was still twitching inside her. Stephanie withdrew it, shut it off, tucked it away. She would use it again later. For the present, fixing dinner was a good way to help her organize her thoughts.
She rearranged her clothes to cover herself, then headed out of the room.
***
Stephanie did not tell Lisa, but soon after their initial coupling, she reached a decision. She would hold back her sexual desires a bit longer. She wanted to make up with Lily, yes, but she also wanted Lisa to be her first lover if possible. And she wanted to go all the way with her before anyone else. Lisa might have issues loving her confidently, but Stephanie had no such qualms. Just being together, loving each other… she did not need more than that from anyone. But her first lover had to be the person who excited her and respected her in the best combination. So she would get her first sexual experience with a partner from Lisa, since Lisa had been so good to her, better than anyone else. As long as Lisa kept her promise…
She ate dinner with her family that night, and was glad no one brought up anything sexual. Francis and Eileen only nodded at her, discussed other things, and ate. This was relaxing to Stephanie in many ways. The next evening, after organizing her thoughts further, she called Lily and explained what she had done with Lisa and what she wanted to happen next.
“I want to get with you too,” Stephanie said. “Just not yet, okay?”
“Are you punishing me?” Lily asked.
“No!” Stephanie said at once. Then she grimaced, thinking about things. “Okay, well, maybe a little. And yeah, I know, I’m probably punishing myself unnecessarily too, if you’re going to say that next. But I have to do this at my own pace, okay? I can’t let anyone push me into things, not even you! I love you, but I’m… I’m doing this at my own pace! And you pushed me too far, too fast! We need to slow this down, Lily! I still want to be with you, just at my own pace. Okay?”
Lily shrugged after considering things a bit. “Fine. I hear make-up sex is great. I can wait four months for it. You better not deny me!”
“I won’t!” Stephanie assured her. “In fact, if Lisa backs out at some point, I’ll get with you immediately at the next opportunity. Or if she does get with me, when we plan or sooner, I’ll let you get with me right after that.”
“That works,” Lily sighed, shaking her head on the other end of the phone. Damn, she thought, I didn’t know Stephanie was this repressed or selfish. Oh well, she’s still my friend, and I still want her, so I will wait for her as long as I must. She released a heavy sigh. “What about my brother? Will you…?”
“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet. Don’t tell him about this, please. I’ll call him soon, okay?”
Lily was fine with that. She chatted with Stephanie a bit more about the upcoming school year. They agreed to resume their friendly relationship, and make out every now and then. But Stephanie would not go all the way with Lily until the matter with Lisa was resolved. “No one owns me but me!” she declared with confidence. “That’s how it works!”
“If that’s what you want, fine,” Lily told her, grimacing. “Whatever.” After a bit more chatting about dates Lily had that weekend with two guys she was seeing, they finally hung up.
Stephanie called Simon the next day after thinking about things a bit further. She wasn’t sure if he would agree to the plan as easily. And indeed, he didn’t. “I gotta wait for you to do it with your sister before I can get with you?” he asked. “This is nuts, Steph!”
“It’s what I’ve decided to do!” Stephanie insisted. “If she backs out, I’ll get with Lily. And you after her, okay? Will that work?”
“I… I wanted to be your first.”
“And you will be- my first guy! When I decide to let you be with me! Okay?”
“I guess.” Simon agreed to see a movie with her the day before school started and make out afterwards. He hated that he had to wait for Stephanie’s pace, but wasn’t this kind of thing always the case with girls? It was with Stephanie at least. Simon supposed that she was pushing her own confidence at the pace she felt best. She didn’t want to jump in the pool of sex right away, but she still would eventually, right? He hoped so anyway, she was such a babe… “You will be with me, right?” he asked Stephanie insistently. “I… I’ve waited so long for you, I…”
“You can wait a little longer,” Stephanie needled him. “Fuck Lily or something.”
“That’s the thing! I only got with her because she insisted on getting with me. I… I still think it’s wrong. I want to get away from her. That’s why I’m seeing other girls. But it’s not enough for her, she’s still coming after me. So I’m applying to another school for next semester, to motivate her to seek guys besides me.”
“Uh, Lily and I just talked. She’s having dates with other guys besides you, Simon! I don’t think she needs extra motivation.”
“You think? Well, I might get into another school anyway, one I like better than Rice. Maybe I will, heh. I’ll see what happens.”
“Yeah, sounds great!” Simon and I aren’t really that close, Stephanie reflected. But he’s still a good guy and since I need to lose my guy virginity to someone… I might make it him. Just as long as he waits for when I want it. If he’s going to leave me for another town, afterwards, well, he can do that. “Let’s make sure to schedule a hook-up before you move to another college if you get in somewhere outside Houston, okay?”
“Yeah. Hey, what if your sister cancels on you before that happens?”
“Already covered. I get with Lily, then you!”
“Right, right, whatever you want.”
They chatted a bit more, but she would not budge. Eventually Simon decided to take what he could get and let her go. Their date a day later went fine, though Stephanie felt more heat and insistence in his kisses than she had previously. Maybe… no, she shook her head. She had decided to go with her plan, and she would. But she still used her vibrator before she slept that night thinking about things to come. It was good enough she almost changed her mind thanks to the anticipation.
A few days later, after thinking about things some more, Stephanie emailed Lisa and explained what she wanted to do. Lisa blinked when she read the message. She shook her head. My little sister really is being ridiculous, she thought. Lily and Simon are right there living close to her, in her life on a daily basis, and more socially acceptable lovers for her than me. What the fuck is she waiting for? She sent Stephanie back a reply text message. “Lily and Simon want you and I can’t just come back home immediately. What is your deal?”
“My deal is I want to do sex at my pace!” Stephanie texted back. “I’m not just going to roll over for them!”
Lisa rolled her eyes. Better motivate her, she thought. “Well, maybe I want you to get with them first,” she texted.
“You do?” Stephanie replied. Then she called Lisa a few seconds later, the pace of texting not working for her. “You really mean this?” she asked. “You want me to get with someone else before you?”
“Maybe! We kind of already got together, you know! When I kissed you and gave you the vibrator.”
“But you didn’t finish me off!”
“And I didn’t need to! That was your first time, not mine. Look, I promise I’ll bang you after I get with Tess in December, okay?”
“You could just come home and get with me sooner,” Stephanie pointed out. “I’ll make it good for you, Lisa, I swear!”
“No,” Lisa said, resolved. “My first time with another girl is not going to be with my sister! It’s… it’s just too big a leap.”
Now who’s being ridiculous? Stephanie wondered. Oh well, whatever, Lisa. I will count what we did together as my first time, even if you won’t count it as yours. And I will keep juggling my relationships at the pace I’ve decided. If everyone can wait for me… I don’t need to push myself for them. Or maybe… She shook her head. No! She had decided to wait for December to calm herself down further to sex, not push herself into it. She had other challenges in her life too. Senior year was hitting her hard in ways she hadn’t anticipated. She really wanted to do well in school this year. She would not change her mind on sex and drive herself nuts!
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