I frowned at her. “Of course, Ben — who else” I rasped.
Emily turned her head and gazed out of the window. Next to us, a huge truck was in the next lane and was keeping the same speed as us. Suddenly, Emily grabbed the bottom of her jumper and lifted it up pulling her bra up at the same time to expose her tits, then turning to press them against the window so the truck driver could see them.
I was horrified, and was about to shout at her when a huge bellow sounded from the horn of the truck.
“What the fuck Em?” I hollered. “You want to get us pulled over for indecent exposure?” I yelled. As I did so, I pressed down hard on the accelerator to get us away from the truck.
In response Emily just huffed at me.
“See, you haven’t changed — as dull and boring as you ever were. Life is meant to be lived sis. For fuck sake.” She moaned back at me.
Emily paused. “Yeah — so what if I do want to fuck Ben?”
My mouth dropped open at her directness. I had expected some sort of delicate and measured response. Some conciliatory tone about how she had desires but would never act on them.
The blunt admission took my breath away. I was about to heap a load of castigation on her when I suddenly remembered that I had no room to throw stones. I’d already fucked my own son, and no matter which way I cut it — I was in no position to judge.
“It will just fuck him up even more.” I offered, trying to gauge whether Emily had any intention on acting on this desire.
“He’s already struggling to make female friends, and as for him and Amber well…” I paused.
OK guys. I didn’t pause — I shivered slightly at the thought of Amber and I in bed.
“It’s bad enough that his mum fucked him, if his Aunt did the same it would just blow his mind and I really don’t think he’d cope or recover from it Sis.” I offered calmly.
In my own mind I had come to the conclusion that this really did have to be a watershed. What had happened that afternoon with Emily in the garden was behind us, and needed to remain behind us.
Emily nodded and her mouth grew taunt. “I… I know…” she offered lamely.
A part of me wondered if she did, having just seen the impulsive side to her nature.
I smiled at her. “Promise me… promise me you won’t try.” I pleaded, hoping she would have enough integrity to do so.
Emily’s face grew thoughtful and she paused a moment before saying “I’ll promise… on one condition.” a definite twinkle in her eye and a note of excitement in her voice.
I knew Emily, her ‘conditions’ and her promises. They came at a very high cost and were rarely simple. But I was not prepared for what this promise was going to cost me. My mind whirled trying to pre-empt what Emily might ask for. When it came, it knocked me for six, over the stands and into the car-park.
“Tell me what it was like, all of it — in every detail.” Exclaimed Emily excitedly.
Of course, I knew immediately what she was referring to, and I reeled. Part of my process to wipe the slate clean had been to not dwell on the pleasure of that event. To focus on the danger and the damage it was doing. Now I was being asked to re-live the event in all its glorious detail.
“I’ve already told you.” I responded weakly, knowing Emily would not accept that. “And besides…you’ve fucked enough guys to know how it works.” I added, a slight barb in my voice.
Emily grinned at me. “Jayne. You know very well what I mean. I want to hear about how it felt for you. How it made you feel to have your son’s cock inside you.” She offered with a giggle.
“Oh come on Em.” I wailed. “Please don’t do this. I want to move on, I want to forget it ever happened.”
Emily’s next outburst came as a shock, and a stab to the heart — mainly because it was true.
“Oh Fuck Off Jayne. Don’t tell me you haven’t rubbed your clit every night while thinking about Ben fucking you.” She challenged, her eyes now fixed on me.
Yes yes. All of you reading this, will know it’s true. Of course I fucking did. Much as I wanted to move on, when it came to my personal time there were no holds barred. My lust and desire demanded access to every last miniscule memory of that pleasurable event. I consoled myself that it was only in the privacy of my own, innermost of personal feelings — but it was still there. There was little point denying it, Emily knew when I was lying. So I decided to try a bit of humour.
“Not EVERY night.” I giggled.
Emily broke into a smile. But just as I expected her to press home her advantage, Emily changed tack.
“So, where are YOU sleeping tonight?” she asked, the implication in her question so apparent it hit me like a brick. Emily was reminding me, that she hadn’t promised anything yet.
In truth, I hadn’t thought about where we’d sleep. I had assumed that Ben would have sorted somewhere for the both of us — but now my mind screamed at what the arrangements might be.
“We’ll… we’ll sleep in Ben’s room.” I stammered, my head racing to work out the logistics.
Emily smiled as if to say she wasn’t buying any of it. “And Ben?”
I knew Ben, and I knew students. Most of them can sleep on a clothes line.
“He’ll be OK on the common room sofa, or on friend’s floor.” I added, pleased that I had devised a solution so quickly.
Emily smiled wickedly, she can be a devious sod sometimes. “What if you want to leave the party early and I don’t… and maybe Ben doesn’t want to leave early either.” She asked innocently.
Again, the implication in her question was clear. She was reminding me that she would have plenty of time to get Ben on his own and fuck him, if she decided to do so. Emily was nothing if not relentless and I knew she wouldn’t give up. If I wanted her to promise, I had to give in to her demand.
“You can’t fuck him Em. You just can’t — you promised.” I wailed, a little more hysterical than I meant to.
Emily smiled. “I don’t believe I promised any such thing.” She smirked.
I was about to counter once more that she knew all the details. “Come on Em… I…” I began. Emily interrupted me.
“No you fucking hang on Jayne. This is just like when we were kids. You’d do something and then immediately tell me NOT to do it. Like when you nicked that bar of chocolate from the shop. And when I said I wanted to do it, you told me not to and that you’d tell if I did. Remember?”
“I gave you half the chocolate.” I offered, a little bemused at her actual point.
Emily frowned and grimaced. “You see? Even now you don’t get it do you? It wasn’t about the chocolate. It was ALL about how you felt as you stole the chocolate. The feelings and experiences of excitement and exhilaration. That is what you were denying me then, and that’s what you’re trying to deny me now.” She called out, her voice for once harsh and accusing.
It blew me away, I had never thought of it like that. Short of experiencing it herself, Emily just wanted to try and imagine how it felt. That’s when I knew that she wouldn’t really sleep with Ben — whether I made her promise or not. But equally I realised that what she had said was true. I remember vividly, stealing that bar of chocolate. I had decided to do it a few days earlier and had planned it all in my head. I remembered the excitement and the anticipation as we walked to the shop, I remember how sweaty my palms were and how nervous I was.
I remembered how fast my heart was beating and how my ‘honest’ mind was trying to convince me not to go through with it. I remember warning myself of the ramifications if I got caught. My mother wouldn’t care of course — but my ‘step-dad’, well let’s just say his answer to everything was to use his fists.
Now, I want to say at this point that of course, I don’t condone stealing — and I can’t even say that we didn’t have the money to pay for the chocolate, because we did. No, this was ALL about the feelings and emotions, the excitement and the trepidation.
And I realised that this was how it was with Emily. Who knows, she may even have harboured sexual thoughts toward Ben before any of this ever happened. My heart sank, knowing and understanding now that she had a point, and realising that I was probably going to have to share the details with her.
For the next hour or so, I relayed as much of the details as I could get away with, to Emily. Occasionally, Emily would interject with a question or ask for elaboration but in the main she sat there quietly, listening intently. Her questions became more pointed and probing when I got to the event of Ben and I actually fucking.
Emily giggled when I admitted to her, that I had to mount Ben and that I lamented the fact that he wasn’t in a position to ‘pound me’. But her first question was much more basic.
“How big IS his cock sis? I mean really?” she asked huskily.
I knew I had already told her this detail, but I guessed that she just wanted to hear it again — so I told her, describing Ben’s cock in as much detail as I could recall. I watched her eyes go wild in wonder as I described it, and there was no hiding the desire in her eyes.
Emily’s mouth dropped “How… much of it did you get inside you?”
“He hit my cervix.” I added casually, but knowing that this would excite Emily all the more. “And it fucking stretched my hole sis.” I giggled.
Emily sighed heavily. “I’ve never felt that.” She lamented. “Is it painful?”
I explained to Emily that it was more uncomfortable than painful, and that it didn’t really add very much to the overall pleasure. This wasn’t completely true of course, as women reading this will know. Perhaps physically, it adds very little to the pleasure — but as I said at the time, the feeling and knowledge of having my cunt stuffed so completely, knowing that Ben was feeling the tightness of my cunt squeezing on his cock was an incredible turn on.
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