“How many?” I asked. “How many girls have you… been with?”
Ben looked at me, his face a mix of amusement and angst. Amusement at my choice of words I guess and angst because he was admitting to me his lack of loyalty. A part of me felt a pang of jealousy, and I chided myself inwardly for feeling that way. I knew I needed to find a way through this, push my own feelings to the back of my mind and to encourage Ben and Amber to at least come to an understanding.
“Four.” Replied Ben tentatively.
My face froze. I had expected one, or two at most. “You fucked 4 other girls?” I exclaimed. Again, it was too loud for my own good and the other table turned round in unison and giggled rather loudly. I suppose they were thinking that perhaps Ben and I were involved in some way, and that Ben was admitting his indiscretions to me.
“I didn’t…” began Ben, before lowering his voice after noticing the interest from the other table. “I didn’t fuck all of them. I only… well one really. The other three just tried to give me a blow job.”
“Tried?” I asked with genuine amusement. Of course, I sort of knew why he used the word ‘tried’ and I was sure it was to do with his size. My mind rolled back to that first time I saw his cock and even to my experienced mind it was a shock. God knows how a young girl would react when faced with such a monster.
“I guess they struggled to…” I began, stifling a giggle.
“Yes.” Interrupted Ben. “Two of them got half in, the other one started gagging after just putting the tip in.” he lamented.
“And the girl you fucked?” I asked, sounding a little more excited than I had any right to be.
Ben was about to tell me when Emily and Steven returned from the Stage. Emily had a stupid grin on her face, and I knew the look well.
“You guys OK?” asked Emily, sitting down and then taking a long slow draught form her bottle of beer.
Steven’s face was a picture. The look of someone that had found a twenty pound note and lost a tenner.
The conversation was a little subdued after that. Both Ben and I frustrated at not being able to finish our chat, and Emily and Steven obviously keen to go elsewhere for some more fun.
“I need the loo.” I announced, before adding “Come on Emily.” In a tone that conveyed that it wasn’t a request.
Emily giggled in response, knowing that a reprimand was on the way and caring little about it. When we got to the toilets, I remembered they were unisex, so just before we went in — I pulled her to the side.
“What the fuck do you think you’re playing at Emily? That’s Amber brother.” I hissed angrily.
Emily shrugged in that carefree ‘so what’ attitude she usually had. “So?” she replied simply.
I was a little angry with her, but moreover I was disappointed that she was not accepting the gravity of the situation.
“Christ Em. It complicates things. All the stuff you now know about me and…” I paused, aware that people were to near to use his name.
“All the stuff you know about me and ‘you know who’… what if you accidentally tell Steven and it gets back to Amber.” I hissed.
Again Emily shrugged light-heartedly. “I won’t and it won’t. And after tonight I don’t suppose I’ll see him again.” she concluded sounding quite matter of fact.
I was still feeling annoyed with her, she still wasn’t seeing how it could get back to Amber and the problems that would then cause. I was about to detail to Emily just how easy it would be for Steven to find out. That it would only take one slip of the tongue for everything to blow up, when Emily interrupted me.
“YOLO.” She announced before adding “C’mon Sis… liven up.”
It was exactly the sort of outburst I feared. Maybe it was the alcohol or Emily’s way of showing me there was nothing to worry about. But it had quite the opposite effect. I grabbed her by the lapels and dragged her away to a more quiet area.
“You see? That’s what I’m talking about. You have a few drinks and all of a sudden you can’t keep your mouth shut. You just called me your sister.” I accused.
Emily smiled wanly but said nothing. I was about to say more when a strange voice cut through my thoughts.
“Ladies, I believe you’re next for the toilets.” Announced a young lad, nodding at the entrance.
I put my emotions on hold as first Emily, then I got to the cubicles. The toilets were busy and crowded and I barely had a chance to give Emily anything more than a few dirty looks as we both washed our hands and touched up our make-up.
When we got back to the table, neither Ben nor Steven were around and they were not at the bar. I took the opportunity to drill home my annoyance with Emily’s actions.
“Of all the guys you could have copped off with — you had to take him. You’re just a cock hungry slut” I said angrily.
I was about to say more when Emily stunned me with her response.
“Oh fuck off ‘Janice’.” She emphasised my false name deliberately. “You’re just fucking jealous because I’m going to get laid tonight and you’re not.” She wailed, before adding yet more vitriol.
“You know what? You’re just a sad old hag that can’t get any action so has to look closer to home…” she spat.
It was clear Emily was more than a little drunk. Even when drunk she would never have been so insulting before, so I guessed I’d touched a nerve. More worrying was her statement about ‘closer to home’. I could sense it was all going to kick off between the 2 of us when thankfully Steven returned carrying a tray of drinks — which included several shot glasses full of some colourful liquid that I could only guess at. Emily didn’t even let him sit down, instead she glared at me and then announced her intention.
“Come on Ste, I’ll give you a blowjob round that back.” She said indignantly, grabbing Steven’s arm and leading him out.
Alone at the table, and now in quite an emotional state — I felt the tears begin to well up. Was that what I really was? Was that what it was all about? My inability to get a man and my desire for cock, the easiest cock I could get — which just so happened to be my son’s? It hit me like a sledgehammer. Is that why I’ve not been able to move on? After fucking Ben, there had not been another guy and in truth, I had not made much of an effort to even find another guy. My son’s cock was always there, and I knew Ben was always willing. Fuck, I didn’t even have to try, did I? I knew his cock was there for me ‘on demand’ if I wanted it.
Horrified with revelation, I grabbed a shot glass and downed it. It tasted of Raspberries or Strawberries but I really didn’t care. I took a huge draught of beer to dull the sweetness of the shot and then picked up a blue shot glass, and downed it. I have no idea what that flavour was, it was all washing into one taste in my mouth now.
I sat there mulling my own desperation and the accusation that my own sister had just thrown at me. I was so aware that I was the only person sat on their own and I felt very exposed and alone. In my drunken paranoia I could hear the whispers and see the pointing fingers as people pointed at me and said – ‘Ah see the desperate middle aged old hag is on her own again.’
I so wanted Ben to return so that I had someone to talk to. Dammit, I’d even talk to Tom if he came back to the table, but neither of them came. I took another shot, and then followed it with another long draft of beer and then a mouthful of Wine. And that’s when I saw him — the pimply faced youth, still stood by the curtains watching. That’s when I decided my course of action. I was going to show Emily she was wrong, that I could get a man… well, OK almost a man. The pimply youth was barely 19 I’d say, and about 5ft 7″ and 140lb. He had short dark hair and a hint of a moustache. It mattered not, as far as I was concerned the only thing that mattered was that he had a cock.
I took one last draught of Wine and then fixing him with my eyes, I got up and walked toward him slowly. In hindsight and thinking about it now, I must have appeared to anyone watching that I looked like a Cougar stalking its prey — and I guess, in truth — that is what I was doing.
When I got close, the youth looked either side nervously as if making sure I was coming after him and not someone stood behind him. When I got to him, I deliberately pressed my body against his and lent in close to ask my questions.
“Hi. What’s your name?” I opened with a smile.
The lad immediately went bright red. “Kkkkk…. yle.” He stammered. He had a stammer, but that was OK. I needed his cock, not his life story.
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